8. On a road trip with my friend and her six-year-old nephew, he was in the backseat talking. My friend said,
"Jake, who are you talking to?"
"Well, what are you talking about?"
"I don't know. I wasn't listening."
9. When told there was "no such thing as cars made of chocolate," my son wistfully replied "If only there were no such thing as no such thing."
10. I was observing an elementary school teacher and she asked her students if they had any questions for me. The first question I got was, "where exactly did you get your hair cut? Because my mom's hair looks terrible."
11. Boogers are poop from your nose, so I don't eat them.
12. While driving home one day, my niece sighed and said, "I knew the dinosaurs would come and get me one day.
...There were two large cranes working on a bridge.
13. We teach our girls a word a day, when they were 2 and 4 the word of the day was "Obtuse."
At daycare, the 4-year-old tells her teacher to come slide with her. Her teacher said that she wasn't allowed to slide on the slide. My daughter responded, "Maybe if you weren't so obtuse you could slide."
I got a note sent home on that one.
14. In Jiu Jitsu last week, I had a 7 year old kid ask me, "What's the point of learning to defend ourselves when we're all just going to die anyway?"