41. Before your criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you do criticize them, you're a mile away and have their shoes.
42. What's ET short for?
He's only got little legs.
43. What's the difference between a dirty old bus stop and a lobster with breast implants? One is a crusty bus station the other one is a busty crustacean.
44. Why aren’t koalas actual bears?
They don’t meet the koalafications
45. It's hard to explain puns to kleptomaniacs because they always take things literally.
46. I want to die peacefully in my sleep like my grandfather did, not screaming in terror like the passengers in his car.
47. Some people think it's romantic to carve their names on trees in the park while on a date.
I'm more worried about why they're bringing a knife on their date.
48. 2 cows are grazing in a field. 1 cow says to the other, "You ever worry about that mad cow disease?". The other cow says, "Why would I care? I'm a helicopter!".