20/27. Any child under 2 is a lap child. Any child over 2 is a child who requires a seat. While it's actually incredibly dangerous to have a baby/toddler in your lap rather than in a car seat, you can do it as long as they meet the age requirements.
21/27. We have fire axes and extremely heavy emergency equipment on board and are under orders to stop you entering the cockpit by 'any means necessary’. Just saying.
22/27. DON'T say, "bomb" on an airplane. Don't even joke about it. I feel like I shouldn't need to say this, but I had a lady jokingly say that she had a bomb in her carry on, which is why it wouldn't fit in the overhead bin. DON'T. SAY. BOMB.
24/27. Airplanes are filthy beyond all reason. People ask me if I would ever join the mile high club. No, because airplanes are so filthy I don't pee unless I absolutely have to. I don't want to catch monkey pox/bubonic plague/whatever.
Furthermore, when I see you walking into the lavatory in your socks I gag and talk about how disgusting you are with other flight attendants. You are stepping in pee.
Oh and also if I'm hassling you about something, it's only because I could get in trouble with the FAA if I don't. I personally don't care what you do as long as you don't bother me, but l can get fined for violations (items on the floor at the bulkhead, items stacked in closets, etc).