Amateur Zoologists Share Which Animal They Think Evolution Screwed Over The Hardest.

Amateur Zoologists Share Which Animal They Think Evolution Screwed Over The Hardest.


6. Penguins.

"Okay, welcome to life #74,102,345,567. We've decided to give you the name Penguin"

"Cool. So what am I?"

"'re a bird but-"

"Oh sweet! Raptor of the sky; flying around on the breeze."

"Well uh...not quite. You actually are unable to fly."

"Huh...well that's okay, Cassowary can't fly but nobody dares mess with him. I mean those huge claws will come in handy-"

"Yeah sorry, no talons or anything either. We went with a different route."

"....Well if I can't fight or fly, then I must have evolved to be crazy fast like Emu or Road-Runner."

"Well fast is a bit subjective really.. You can waddle at like 3 miles per hour"


"Don't be mad."

"Is this a joke? Am I the new Dodo? I'm gonna get picked off by predators in no time!"

"Well you do have a few predators like Polar Bear and Killer Whale, and the newbie "human" can be kinda a dick, but you do have less predators than many."

"Well its something.."

"Yeah most predators were not interested in subzero temperatures."


"Hey take it easy, Turkey isn't much better and he's cool."

".....So what DID I get?"

"Well you kinda look like you're wearing a butler's outfit.."


"You're feathers kinda make it look like you're wearing a little cute tuxedo."

"How does that help me?! Whatever I'm leaving now.."

"Alright good luck, hope the humans don't melt your home."



7. I don't really think they're the animal evolution messed over the hardest, but I want to mention antechinuses, which are a kind of small marsupial that look similar to rodents. Antechinuses literally mate themselves to death. Like, physically, their body falls apart. They have sex until they physically disintegrate.

It's a viable reproductive strategy, it's just also kind of terrifying.


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