'Can I Use Your Food Garage?' The Funniest Stories Of Drunk New Year's Partygoers.

'Can I Use Your Food Garage?' The Funniest Stories Of Drunk New Year's Partygoers.


Maybe you woke up with a hangover, or some embarrassing pictures on your phone, or a hickey in an unexpected location. But on the bright side, at least you weren't THAT person at the party...


This piece is based on an AskReddit thread. Link on the last page.

1/31. Coming home from the party last night, we stopped for pizza. The super drunk guy in front of us in line told us he paid for our pizza. He made a big deal out of it, but then fumbled the machine and almost forgot his card and dropped his pizza box on the floor.

We asked the cashier if he had paid for our pizza. She double-checked and said, "Actually, he... didn't even pay for his own pizza." We paid for it.


2/31. A friend of mine was extremely drunk and saw this guy walking his dog. My friend started petting the dog, but when the owner asked him to stop, he started petting the man instead.


3/31. He fell down and spilled a can of Dr Pepper all over the floor. Then he dropped his phone on the floor and said, "oh no, my phone is in Dr Pepper!” Then he looked around and exclaimed, "oh no I'M in Dr Pepper!"

Also, plot twist, this is actually about me and I wrote in the third person so I didn't sound like such an idiot.


4/31. A guy I'd never met named Tony kept asking all the female party goers if they knew what his name was spelled backwards. Then would slur out " y not" my wife thought it was funny and creepy at the same time.


5/31. We asked our friend how drunk he was. He responded, "Twice!"


6/31. Our one drunk buddy tried to shoot a firework while holding it in his mouth. I don't think he'll be trying that again. (continued...)

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