'Can I Use Your Food Garage?' The Funniest Stories Of Drunk New Year's Partygoers.

'Can I Use Your Food Garage?' The Funniest Stories Of Drunk New Year's Partygoers.


He tightened it too hard so the firework never flew. Instead, it exploded right on top of him. He ended up with his face completely black from the powder and some pretty nasty burns.

Two policemen were standing next to us when this happened. They told him it was the stupidest thing they had seen all year (and yes we were still in 2016).


7/31. There were a few singles at my New Year's Eve party. They were joking about just all kissing each other, when my buddy suddenly offered to kiss all of them.

When asked how he's going to accomplish that he manages to slur out the words "Midnight is a whole minute, and I get around."


8/31. I live in Texas and have a friend who moved here from Scotland a few years ago. Ever since she moved here she consistently has faked an "American" accent to fit in.

Last night she got so drunk she forgot about her American accent and started swearing loudly in the thickest Scottish accent for an hour or so.


9/31. My very drunk grandma yelled HAPPY NEW YEAR so loud at my dog that he peed himself and cried.


10/31. We were partying on the beach, and this one guy couldn't find anywhere to hide his bag. So he just tossed it into the ocean and yelled, "Nobody can steal my beer now!"


11/31. "STOP TELLING ME WHAT TO DO, I HAVE NEVER DIED BEFORE." Delivered by a friend who got kicked out of two clubs and wanted to keep partying.


12/31. I’m an ER Nurse, and I had to work the New Year’s eve shift. One guy came in complaining of scrotal pain. (continued...)

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