'Can I Use Your Food Garage?' The Funniest Stories Of Drunk New Year's Partygoers.

'Can I Use Your Food Garage?' The Funniest Stories Of Drunk New Year's Partygoers.


He told me he was at home, in his living room, high on cocaine and quite drunk, sitting on a bicycle, when he slipped and caught his balls on the sharp pedal. He felt wetness and, assuming it was blood, wrapped his manhood in toilet paper and ran to the ER.

I took him back to the examination room, where he finally found the courage to check the damage himself. That was when he noticed it was just urine. He had peed his pants. He ran straight back out into the night without another word.

Happy new year, central Ohio.


13/31. I yelled “Merry Christmas” instead of "Happy new year."


14/31. Somebody ran through a closed door.


15/31. I think I might have been that person. I woke up this morning and saw a photo of people stacking boxes on my head. It was impressive how tall it was and that I didn't wake up as a result.


16/31. The brother of the host came to party with us. After half a bottle of schnapps, he told us that his shoes are fireproof up to 1600 Celsius. Of course no one believed him, so he stepped in the campfire and stood in there for 10 minutes. Thankfully, he was right.


17/31. I saw a guy peeing in the middle of a busy road, flipping off the cars driving by. It was 9 PM.


18/31. I was DD and my friend had to puke, so we pulled over and he threw up in the street/sidewalk.

I was looking for cops because I wasn't sure of the legality of him throwing up in the street regarding littering laws or whatever, and small town cops in Delaware can be sort of prickly. He was finishing up when a cop rolled by. (continued...)

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