Gay And Lesbian People Reveal What It Was Like To Date An Opposite Sex Partner And How It Worked Out.

Gay And Lesbian People Reveal What It Was Like To Date An Opposite Sex Partner And How It Worked Out.


At some point, everyone has questioned the relationship they're in. Are we compatible? Do we have the same values? Do I want to spend my life with this person? But some people have more questions than others.

Here are personal accounts of people attracted to the same sex who were in opposite sex relationships.

Many thanks to the Reddit user who posed this question and to those who responded. You can check out more answers from the source at the end of this article!

1/15. I was young and this girl I knew in college was kind of in love with me even though we were mainly friends. She followed me across the country twice over 6 years, we eventually would have sex which I liked but I hoped that when I finished grad school I might come out.

Then after grad school she started visiting me again in a new city 1000 miles away. It was a bad time for me, I had been diagnosed with terminal cancer and then had mono for 8 months, and she somewhat took care of me during this time. She was also a master emotional manipulator, and also a fun nice person, and we grew closer and I started confusing these feelings for what love must be like.

She wanted a lot of kids and slowly, slowly, I accepted the idea that this was "normal" and the other path was not, and that I needed to man up and accept it, especially if I liked the sex. But it felt wrong to me and as we inched closer to the wedding I realized this could not happen. I hated the male/female dynamic (at least ours) and so much of how females act and react makes me insane and I find nothing cute about it. I loved her but was not in love at all. I told her and we pulled the plug. In fact, she confessed to me she was a lesbian. (This turned out to be maybe or maybe not true, she dated a woman for a few months and then men on and off but has never married or had a serious relationship 20 years later).

People wonder why gay men do this and stay in the closet. It's because we were told forever that gay people are bad, they are disgusting, wrong, immoral. We think, "I'm not bad, wrong, disgusting, or immoral" and therefore conclude "I must not be gay." I knew on some level since I was 4 and even though I dreamt of men, was attracted to men, connected with men, and wanted to have sex with and marry a man, the cognitive dissonance had been ingrained in me. So I never acted on it and denied it to myself for 30 years and almost ruined 2 lives over it. I'm so glad millennials don't put up with that stuff.


2/15. Puzzling. I'm a lesbian who was with a much older man for about 10 years, starting in my teens.

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