I ask "is that your son over there?" She says yes and I tell her what he's doing and "either you get him to stop or I'll do it for you". To my surprise she says "oh please do, I can't control him today".
So I go back over, and try my best to "hide" right near where he is roaming, and as soon as he's within striking distance I pop out and with all the air in my lungs I SCREAM AT THE TOP OF MY LUNGS 1 INCH FROM HIS FACE. He ran back to his car absolutely terrified and crying. I could see his mom . She didn't come out or do a thing.
To this day if anyone messes with my son who's bigger than him he screams non-nonsensically in their face.
9/16. I worked at a boy scout camp years and years ago. One of the activities I was in charge of was building a log cabin. Part of building the log cabin is to strip all the bark off the wood to help keep the logs from rotting.
The scouts generally had a love hate relationship with this step of the project. On the plus side they got to use sharp objects, on the minus side it was hard, manual labor. While they were using bark strippers, I was using a chisel to get the bark off around knots.
Normally using a chisel on wood is not a hazardous operation as long as the blade is facing away from you. One day I was not doing well on my safety observance. I was trying to jam a stubborn piece of bark off the wood with the blade facing toward my arm. The wood broke against the force. The blade kept on trucking through the bark and into my wrist.
At this point the scouts knew something was wrong as they saw me curse, drop the chisel, and grab my arm. I was the only adult present so I was fighting to keep my calm as to not panic the scouts. My solution was to turn it into a first aid lesson.
I told a couple of scouts to get the first aid kit, and the others to help me over the the picnic bench. I told them they were going to have an impromptu first aid lesson on severe bleeding and shock with the victim as their instructor.
The scouts were able to keep their heads together and get the health officer out to our location to treat me the rest of the way. They said it was the best first aid class they had ever had.
10/16. Once in middle school, my locker was next to a very attractive lady's. I noticed one of her books started slipping from the top shelf, so I put my hand out to stop it. It started actually falling, so I was like, oh no, and awkwardly tried to stop it.
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