My reflexes told me to lean forward and tuck, so instead of a devastating fall I was picked up off the ground by my momentum and did a front flip on my board landing perfectly and riding away. I think one or two other instructors saw it.
15/16. I catch rattlesnakes for a living in Phoenix, Arizona as an emergency response service for people who find a snake in their yard, etc. Most calls are diamondbacks, but 1 in 4 or so "rattlesnakes" end up being a large constrictor called a gophersnake. Gophersnakes can be aggressive, but they're otherwise harmless.
On one call, there was a kid of about 15 who was absolutely terrified of a rattlesnake he saw along the back wall of his yard, behind the swimming pool. The only way to really get there was to tight rope it across the narrow ledge of the pool. I got there and saw that it wasn't a rattlesnake at all, but a harmless gophersnake, so I reached down and grabbed the 5' snake. It was a jerk about the whole thing, striking at my face repeatedly and getting me on the forearm. I grabbed it closer to the head and wrestled it into control as I made my way back across the ledge to the bucket, where I got unwrapped him from my arm and body and put it in the bucket.
I then realized I forgot to tell the kid that it wasn't a rattlesnake before doing that. I looked up and he looked like he was going to vomit/pass out ... probably the palest I've ever seen a living person. He surely believed he was about to see a man die.
I now routinely "forget" to tell home owners that it's just a gophersnake.
16/16. About 5 years ago there was a crazy huge bee in my house and my brother (terrified of bees) came running to me, wanting me to kill it for him. I picked up my shitty toy airsoft pistol which was loaded with one pellet, pointed the pistol at the bee from about 40 feet away, didn't aim at all, pulled the trigger, and saw a splat on the other side of the room.
Social Thumbnail Credit: frenky362 / Shutterstock