5/24 I was at a friend's house helping him put up drywall in his master bedroom. Off the bedroom was a walk-in closet that he built for his wife. At one point, we ran out of drywall screws and my buddy went to the store to get more. I opted to stay behind and measure and cut the drywall sheets we had left to hang.
At one point, as I was lifting a sheet of wall board and getting ready to score it, I stumbled backwards a bit. I caught myself on a tall wicker hamper/basket that was just inside the door of the closet . As I righted myself I noticed that something was hanging from the cuff-button on my work shirt (the hand I used to catch myself).
I raised my left arm to my face to see what had snagged on to my button and noticed it was a paid of my friend's wife's panties. At that very moment I looked up and saw the next door neighbors wife, in her bedroom window (which was only a few feet form my buddies bedroom window), looking at me with a pair of my friend's wife's panties to my face.
To this day, anytime I go to my buddy's house and she is outside she gathers her kids form the yard and goes inside until I leave.
6/24 I have a friend who was once stopped while driving a white van down the motorway. The cop asked to see what was inside....
There were about 20ounces of crack, weed, heroin, crystal meth etc, six pistols, a sawn-off shotgun, a rifle, a box of ammo, a box full of knives as well as a human head, two feet and a hand.
My friend waited for the look on the cop's face before saying "it's okay! I have paperwork!" He works for a forensics lab.
7/24 Open door to my office. I'm wearing a football helmet and standing on the couch.
Explanation: The floor was lava.
8/24 I was in my early twenties. And we were spending a couple of weeks at a friend's beach house in an upscale east coast resort town. One late night, we decide it would be a great idea to crash the local community swimming pool for a skinny dip. So seven guys and gals pile into one sedan to head off for the challenge. I am the only non-drinker, so I am the naturally designated driver.
We arrive at the pool, shimmy through an opening in the fence, chuck off all of our clothes and jump in. Hilarity ensues...until. Wait! Someone has notified the cops of our presence. As we see the cop car search light scanning for us, we freak. Time to make a fast escape and pile back into the ride undetected. But not enough time to get dressed. So we are now a car full of seven people (six of them drunk) covered in nothing but towels. And we drive away, confident in our success.
However, in all the excitement, I manage to make an illegal left turn as part of our getaway. And, you guessed it, cop car lights up and pulls me over.
The officer gets out and approaches the car full of mostly naked twenty-somethings. He takes a look and says to me, with a straight face and without missing a beat, "I don't reckon you'd have a drivers license under there - would you?"
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