13/24 I was moving to another town and a friend helped me move. As I got into the large rental truck holding my worldly goods, he handed me a soda and wished me luck. I settled down with two cats in a cat carrier on the seat next to me. Driving along, I popped the soda only to discover that the vibration from the loud, noisy diesel engine and a rough road had shook up the soda, causing it to overflow onto my crotch.
A while later I noticed that some [idiot] (me) hadn't filled the tank of the damned truck from an earlier drive, so I pulled into a gas station and stepped out. This was in Oregon where you cannot legally pump your own gas. As I stepped out, I was greeted by the attendent who immediately stared at my wet crotch. Naturally, my two cats were terrified and pissed in their carrier, so a strong smell of urine washed out of the cab at the same time. I was dying of embarrassment, but didn't even try to explain.
14/24 The leader of the local girl scout troop belonged to the same pool as my family. One day I went to pick up my daughter from her scout meeting. With a few of the other mothers I didn't know, as well as most of the girl scouts all paying attention to me since I had just walked in, the leader exclaimed (once she figured out who I was there to pick up) "I didn't recognize you with your clothes on"...The look on the faces of the other mothers was priceless...
15/24 That'd be the time I follow too many links (using my phone) which end up linking to a gay orgy vid, I closed the browser right away, decided I had have enough internet for the day. Next morning I try to show a something on reddit to my bro, and yeah gay porn starts playing, that was an difficult conversion.
16/24 I do a lot of crafts. 11 years ago when I moved to the UK, I was unable to ship a lot of my stuff over so I left it in storage with my mother. Less than a year later, her partner was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer and they decided to move back closer to family so that they could have some extra support, and so she could spend her time left with her family. Anyway, my mother phoned and told me if I wanted my stuff, I needed to come and get it asap.
When I went over, I took a large empty bag with me. I went through all of my stuff and sorted out things for a yard sale, and things I wanted to keep. One of the things that (for some reason) went into my 'keep' pile was a 5lb jar of plaster of paris.
Now, as I said, this was a jar, which meant it was hard and unyeilding. I decided it would be much easier to pack if I poured the powder into some ziplock bags. That way, the bags could fit into any nooks and crannies I had left in the bag. I cut the label off the jar and stuck it into one of the bags so that I would have the mixing directions, and didn't think any more of it - until I got to the airport.
When I got to the airport and my bag was weighed, it was overweight. The guy at the check-in asked me to go through the bag and see if I could reduce some of the weight by putting anything in my carry-on. I went through the bag, and managed to reduce it by 20lbs by removing the 5lbs of plaster and a 15lb die cutting machine, which I somehow managed to fit into my carry-on.
Next stop, security. This is where my decision to put the plaster in my carry-on suddenly turned into "I can explain!!!"
After walking through the metal detector, I noticed a member of security standing with their arms around my bag. I approached and he said "is this your bag?" I nodded yes and he asked me to follow him. This was only months after 9-11 and I'd only just encountered men with machine guns in the airport so I was feeling a bit apprehensive, as I couldn't think what I could have done wrong.
We went to another area where there were all sorts of testing machines. He asked me to take off my shoes and belt (keep in mind this was more than 10 years ago so it was not standard practice at that point). Then, he starts unpacking my carry-on. He reaches in and pulls out - a bag of white powder. Then another one. And another one... until he had 5 bags of white powder in front of him. When he'd pulled out the first one I immediately realised what it looked like and I couldn't help myself, I started laughing. Thank goodness the guy had a sense of humour because when I told him what it was, he kind of chuckled too, but stated that he still had to test it. I had nothing to hide so I was happy to let him do so.
I made my flight with no problem. I bet that guy still tells the story of the woman with the 5 bags of white powder. I know I do!
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