Going to the doctor can often be an anxiety inducing experience. You're worried about that little spot, that new bit of pain, but it's much worse when something embarrassing happens.
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1. That's one way to handle that situation...
Had a routine smear (pap) test as a student, I hadn't slept the night before as I'd been partying hard and was still not quite with it.
The male doctor hadn't performed a smear before and for some reason a nurse was called in to witness the procedure. Predictably the doc had trouble finding my cervix and the nurse told me to roll my hips up. The doctor was getting more and more nervy so to break the ice I started singing "rolling rolling rolling, keep those doggies movin, rawhide" (it made sense at the time)
Then I started to laugh uncontrollably at my own joke which caused the speculum to shoot out of my hooha and knock his glasses off.
The lab results were inconclusive.
2. Must have been running on auto-pilot right there.
I arrived at my doctor's office for a routine physical and everything was going fine. My previous conditions had all gone away and we were wrapping up when my doctor (female by the way, I am male) told me that she was "Going to need to check me for an enema." She turned away for a moment to put on some gloves as she did so I stood up, took off my pants, and bent over.
I misheard her. One does not "check" for an enema. One checks for a hernia.
The moment she turned around I heard "Oh my, what!?" and I immediately realized my mistake. I quickly turned around to see my now bright-red doctor flushing over the completely unprecedented sight of my anus pointed in her direction. I began to apologize profusely and what followed can only be described as an extremely awkward check for testicular cancer and a hasty departure on her part.
Needless to say I, too, got out of there as quickly as possible.
3. Ugh, that'll keep you up at night.
When I was a kid (like 8 or 9), I had to get a routine physical to participate in sports at school. My Dad took me. Everything went great until the Dr told my Dad he needed to get a urine sample. My Dad hands me the cup and tells me to go to the bathroom in the cup and bring it back to him.
I, being a bit naive, did not know what urine was so I went into the bathroom and promptly pooped in the cup.
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