So, then she decides to take a look to make sure everything looked okay. Well, it didn't. I hear here say, 'There is something else up there. Maybe another tampon?'.
I was absolutely horrified. After further prying around, she was able to figure out it wasn't a tampon, but it was something blue, and it was hard. She sent me over for an X-ray to confirm. Sure enough, I had something else in me. . .
She tried to get it out with the pliers again, but it hurt too much for me to bear. She ended up having to sedate me, and had a male doctor come in and try. Eventually they were able to get it out. It looked like a little blue cap, and they obviously asked me what it was, and at the time I was dumbfounded for what it could be. I looked like a moron.
I had to call into work, because I had been sedated, and I had to call my dad and have him pick me up from the walk in.
It was honestly the most embarrassing experience of my life.
I realized a few days later what the blue cap was. One night when I was drunk at my friends house I had thought I had a yeast infection. I remember using monostat, and having never used it before I didn't know you were supposed to take the cap off. Go figure.
I still get embarrassed to this day thinking about the looks that I was getting on my way into the x-ray room. The doctor had obviously told the staff what was going on, and they were all staring at me like I had a vagina full of various items. Like, 'oh I wonder what we will pull out of her next!'
8. Nobody address the elephant in the room...
It was a little awkward getting my vasectomy when the sixty-something nurse told me she needed to shave my balls, saw that they were already shaved, and complimented me on my ball-shaving skills while rubbing betadine all over them.
Doing the sperm test afterwards is a little on the weird side too. You go to the lab desk, ask for a specimen container, go into the bathroom, and then come out and hand them the full container while you both pretend not to know you were just touching yourself twenty feet away.
9. That can make family dinners VERY awkward.
My doctor is a family friend. This is an incredibly awkward relationship. One day she's all like, "drop your pants, let's see that penis", the next day she's like, "Pass the peas".
10. So I guess that means you're certain?
Thankfully this was only slightly insulting, not horrifying. When I was maybe 18, I went into the doctor because I was experiencing some extreme nausea, among other things. He kept asking me if I could be pregnant, over and over.
"So, uh, could you possibly be pregnant? Maybe we should run a pregnancy test."
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