People on Reddit were asked: "What is the most messed up way you got back at someone that wronged you?" These are some of the best answers.
2/27 One time a friend pranked me by pissing on my sausage. Four years later I got him back by putting my [penis] in his beer at a bar when he went to the bathroom. He drank the whole thing before I let him know. I don't forget [things] like that.
3/27 I'm immune to poison ivy, so I was always uprooting it in our yard. I'd left it on this concrete area behind our garage. I frequently walked down to a fishing pond across this canal in my neighborhood; I didn't always have a functioning bike and the walk was only about a mile. A 'big kid', probably 2-3 years older than me, was a real jerk. He'd do stuff like ride by me on his bike and act like he was gonna high-five me, but then slap my face and ride off, laughing.
Anyway, one day he did that, and I went back home, upset. I got my water gun and was gonna shoot him if he messed with me again. Then I saw the poison ivy and got an evil idea. In the bucket it went with some water, stirred it all up good, then dumped that in my water gun. Went back to the pond. On the way back home he came around messing with me again. I hosed him down and he broke my gun, but man it was worth it.
From what I hear he didn't go back to school for almost two weeks.
4/27 When I was 7 or 8 I did a science project on the antibacterial efficacy of various soaps. Basically involved keeping hands dirty for a day, pressing grubby thumbs into petri dishes full of agar, then washing and doing the same again. I'd take tracings of the cultures: bigger colonies were bad, smaller ones good. This ended up winning the county science fair for my grade in a large metropolitan area, so that was nice.
But before that, after I'd finished the experiments but before I'd discarded the dishes, I got into a dispute with my parents (don't remember what about). I thought, "I'll show them". So I took the nastiest culture and swabbed it onto their bedroom doorknob. They both got sick as dogs and I had to take care of them for a couple of days. Served me right.
5/27 My girlfriend cheated on me, and her and her roommate at the time had gotten to that point in their lease where they weren't super fond of each other and kept some distance. Her roommate was smoking hot and wasn't fond of my ex so I decided to make a move on her.
Best move ever. The look on my ex's face when her roommate walked me to the door in her underwear after the first night was priceless. We proceeded to have hot, dirty, loud sex almost nightly for next 8 weeks until their lease was up and for a while after that. My ex even walked in on us in the living room once. Kinda [mean], but damn was it fun and there's no way I felt bad about it.
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