13/15. Yes. It was a first date, and we went to a party where he knew everyone and I knew no one. He went from ignoring me to (I think) completely forgetting I was there, so I left (we had taken my car). I went back to my dorm and hung out for a while, and went back when I knew the party was ending, because it was a rented venue and everyone had to leave.
14/14. I want to preface this by saying I'm a fat girl. I have been since I was 12, when I started overeating due to molestation. And the fatness never stopped. But, I always used up-to-date, full body pictures in my dating profiles, because I'm honest. People like different things, right?
So, this guy messaged me, said he thought I was cute. We talked for a couple days online, because we couldn't meet in person right away. I suggested we meet at this cute Mexican restaurant. They know me there, I'd been there once a week for...about three years, if I'm honest about it.
So, we meet. And he's better looking than his picture, about my height (6'0"), very nice smile. We shook hands, even though I could tell he wanted to lean in for a hug, then we sat down. The one thing you have to know about this place is that it's TINY. Five booths and two tables tiny. So, we sat at a booth.
We look over the menu and he ordered flautas and rice and beans. I ordered the same, only beans, no rice. He laughed and said, "I was going to say the picture looks like a lot of food, but I think you can handle it."
Okay, weird, but not untrue, and not inherently rude. The owner brings us our food, a nice woman, the owner (name rescinded to respect the deceased). She asks how I'm doing in Spanish, I respond in broken Spanish. After she leaves, he asks what she was saying, and I told him. He looks sorta...pinched? And just said, "You can talk to ME, y'know."
So I'm eating my flautas, I'd only eaten one and there was three on my plate. I had one in my hand, and he reached over, took my plate, and shoveled half my beans and one of my flautas onto his plate. I just stared at him, waiting for an explanation. He said nothing, just continued to eat. I said, "Um, excuse you, why are you taking my food?"
He sighed, looked at me, and said, "I don't think this is gonna work. I thought I could be okay with your size, but I'm not. Like, if I hadn't taken that food from you, you would have eaten all of it. You think that's attractive? You think any guy wants to sit across from someone as big as you and inhale the food? I'm trying to help you, and you're being rude about it."
I gaped like a fish, I admit it.
Until I got angry. I basically told him off, said I hadn't lied about what I look like, I'll eat whatever the hell I feel like, he's an asshole for trying to police my food, not all men are passive aggressive arseholes who have to control what I do.
The owner came back out, because she could hear everything, I assume. I gave her money for my food and a tip, and I left.
The last part she told me a couple weeks later. Apparently, he tried walking out on the rest of the bill. She told him in broken English he had to pay, and he told her he'd call Immigration on the whole staff.
You see, this tiny restaurant is also an after-shift hangout for the nearby Sheriff's station. And he had caught her in a bad mood about me. So when he walked out the door, and an off-duty officer pulled up to the restaurant, she quickly screamed to the sheriff that my date was walking out on his tab. There was some choice words spoken by my date, and the owner told me she thought he was gonna get arrested, but the guy paid for his food, muttering the whole time about calling immigration and liberal America. (I'm a bit skeptical still about the liberal America part).
He messaged me again a couple weeks later than that (so a month from our date) to tell me no one would want a fat woman like me, and he wasted his time, and I owe him money. I told him off, reported his abuse and blocked him.
[Image credit: Nicoleta Ionescu / Shutterstock.com]