Cops of Reddit were asked: "What's the best story you have about pulling someone over?" These are some of the best stories.
She asked if I was gay when I didn't react. I said "Ma'am, not only am I not gay, but you are bribing a police officer through sexual means. If I accept this bribe and do not write you a citation, I would have broken my oath as a law enforcer to hold everyone as equally accountable as another. I could very likely lose my job. You will also go to prison for bribing a law enforcement officer. So I will instead save us both the time and write you a citation as your actions have guaranteed yourself to earn. Also, my wife means much more to me than your much older breasts. You have court on..." She was pissed, complained on me and my sergeant told her "shut up." Sometimes you don't want to talk to the sergeants.
2/17 I had this funny little pun I always wanted to crack when someone was speeding.
So there I am, shooting with my laser and pulling over this guy in a Volvo. "That was a bit fast, may I see your pilot license?" So the guy in the Volvo responds. "Sure thing", and provides a pilot license.
At that moment I decided to stop making that joke, but I let him go with a warning. "Everything seems to be in order, drive a bit more careful from now on, will you?"
3/17 Late on a weeknight I found a van sitting on the side of a county road. The driver's side door was open and the driver was in the seat with his legs propped up sticking out of the window. I turned around and stopped behind him. The guy in the driver's seat was very drunk and passed completely out. He wasn't even aware I had showed up. I had to shake him to wake him up. When he came to, he looked at me for a second, straightened up in the seat, fixed his clothes a bit, closed the door, put on his seat belt, leaned out the window and said, "Is there a problem, officer?"
4/17 Whilst on patrol the automatic number plate recognition camera detected a registration plate with no valid insurance.
Sure enough we looked for a vehicle and I immediately began chuckling, it was an on road mobility scooter. We pulled him over to make enquiries as to why it does not have insurance. Learning a delightful lesson that it doesn't need any, quite embarrassing but the gent was in good spirit.
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