But my little girl was supposedly healthy. She was fine. We'd had the best night ever playing on the floor the night before. She actually smiled for the first time for real that night, smiled and laughed for her mommy who usually worked late. It was amazing. And the next morning as we actually slept in for the first time till 8, (which was late for us) she died in the next room silently.
Now I have to live with the guilt. If I'd only gone to check on her. If we'd have gotten up sooner. Was it something I fed her? Why did this happen? They tell you these days to lay your baby on their backs. Our doctor told us to lay her on her stomach, on a soft sheepskin. It sucks because you feel like it's your fault when a baby dies. Knowing that the sheepskin may have killed her, or the position I laid her down in, is a guilt I find very hard to live with. I forget sometimes. She'd be 20 years old now. Sometimes I can forget. But others, I relive that moment like it's happening right. now. And I hate it.
20/23 A lost and angry prostitute trying to break down my door.
21/23 My friend woke me up by throwing up on me.
22/23 I took a nap of a friend's couch when he was having a small party. This guy can be really creepy when he changes his voice. So, I woke up to a long, loud sniff and him whispering in this deep, gravelly voice, "You smell like strawberries."
It was terrifying. It took me a minute to realize it was just him and not someone else who had dropped in at his house.
23/23 Last year my wife took some pain pills and to make sure she got some sleep, sleeping pills also. When I woke up, she was curled up right next to me, she looked like she was in a very deep sleep. As I did everyday, I gave her a kiss goodbye and sure, her forehead was cold but the A/C was on full blast and I didn't think anything of it.
I got a call about 6 hours later from my son frantically telling me to come home because there was something wrong with Mom, he was unable to wake her up. They had called 911 and by the time I got there, she had been pronounced dead.
There was a good chance she was dead when I kissed her goodbye. I might have not known it then, but, yeah, looking back, that was the worst thing I ever woke up to.
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