One night, he was sitting in the recliner at my parents' house holding my son and trying to burp him after a feeding. He had him propped up on his shoulder and was speaking to him softly. I don't think he thought I could hear, but I heard him say "C'mon, little guy. Burp for daddy." After the circumstances surrounding how my son came to be, and all that I had been through in the recent months following up to his birth, I felt broken, like no one would ever want me, let alone truly love me AND my child.
I'm happy to say he proved me completely wrong. We've been together for almost 5 years, married for over 3 1/2 years, and we're expecting baby #3.
6. About a month in. My father was going through some stuff that made us think he might have cancer and the doctors ran a bunch of tests. While this was going on I was having lunch with her one day and related to her that I was in no way ready to find out that my dad had cancer, and how much that scared me. She listened and sympathized and told me not to worry...she was great.
About a week later I was eating alone in a bar near my place while she was at a graduation party with her family (I was a semester behind, not a good student). I get a call from her and can barely understand her through the tears. All she can really tell me is that she'd like to be picked up. I go to get her and on the ride home she spills her guts: turns out her father was in the middle of a battle with brain cancer, and her mother had not done a good job of preparing her for how much worse he had gotten since she had seen him last. It was more than she could handle in a public setting like that.
It was then that I realized what kind of person she is. She sat there and listened to me going on and on about how scared I was for my father, and she chose to support me instead of telling me just how little I knew about what it means to be losing a parent. She is the most beautiful, caring and selfless person I know. Every day I'm with her I become a better person. We've been together now for 4.5 years, married for 1.5 and I still fall more in love with her every day.
7. I personally don't have those moments that people talk about when they know it happened. I usually remember the progression.
For me though, one day I kind of realized I had been thinking about us all the time. What I mean by that is before we met, I had plans and visions of traveling to different places and doing different things. I would hike the AT and cycle across America. I would go to new cities and find a great job. I would have all these adventures and meet all these people. I was going to have a blast.
I stopped thinking in I at some point. Those thoughts became us having all these adventures. We would travel to a new city and start a life. We would do this awesome thing and go to this awesome place. We would have a great life. She snuck her way into my life and I didn't even know it.
When I realized that, I realized that was exactly what I wanted. She was exactly what I wanted. We are exactly what I want.
8. Early on in our relationship, I took her to visit my mom's house. While we were there, we started looking through some of my childhood belongings that were in boxes in the garage, and at one point I remembered that my favorite stuffed animal (a dog) that I had since birth was kept in there as well.
By complete coincidence, my mom's actual dog had very recently managed to find my stuffed dog and had ripped it apart. There was a trail of stuffing leading outside to the doghouse. I felt abysmal at seeing my favorite childhood toy destroyed like that, but I wanted to try and maintain my composure since this was still in the early days of my relationship with this woman.
It was no use. My lip quivered and some decidedly unmanly tears were shed. This woman, this wonderful young woman, picked up the remains of my not-stuffed-anymore dog and said that she could fix it.
And she did! His ears were forever lost and now he has sort of a Two-Face thing going on, but he's whole again and now I've passed Doggie down to our son.