Men Who Got Out Of Abusive Relationships Share Their Stories

Men Who Got Out Of Abusive Relationships Share Their Stories


When domestic abuse is brought up, it's understandable to think of abusive men and suffering women. While we don't want to downplay the absolute horror that many women go through in these relationships, it's important to acknowledge situations where the roles are reversed. 

Here are some stories that brave Redditors shared about how they got out of their abusive relationships. If you or a loved one seems to be in a similar situation to those in this article, please seek help. Abuse, emotional or physical, should never be tolerated no matter what your situation is.

Source at the end of the article. Comments edited for clarity.

1. He seems like a good Dad.

I dated this girl for over a year because I just couldn't figure out how to get rid of her. She was insanely jealous and any discussion of my unhappiness in our relationship just brought accusations of cheating. These inevitably let to punching and kicking. I never really felt like I could fight back. Any action to defend myself would probably have ended with me getting arrested. She was much smaller than me, so most police would most likely take her side. I was trapped.

Eventually her father came to visit. The first time he and I were alone together, he immediately asked if I was "OK". He said he knew how she could be. This confused me at first. I barely knew him and didn't know if I could trust him. Just told him everything was fine (it had been for a few weeks). He stayed a few days and by the end of his visit I could see he was just a cool dude who knew his daughter had issues.

A couple months later I reached my breaking point. I was miserable. I just wanted her out of my life. I looked in her address book for his number and called. I told him I couldn't take it anymore and was trapped unless I defended myself with physical force. He sighed and said "Can you hang on till Thursday?". He told me he'd make the 8 hour drive to my house if I could wait a few days.

On Thursday afternoon we were standing in the kitchen when there was a knock on the door. She answered, surprised to see her dad.

"What are you doing here dad?"

He just shrugged and stared at me. I blurted it out.

"I'm breaking up with you! We're done!"

She charged at me with clenched fists, but he was ready. He grabbed her from behind and put her in a "full-nelson" hold. She was dragged like this across my driveway and thrown into the backseat of his car. The last time I saw her she was trying to kick out his rear window as he drove away.

There's a good possibility I may owe my life to that dude. I feel really bad for him. She was otherwise a wonderful person, but if she lost her temper...look out. Hopefully she found help.


2. Excellent follow-through.

She pushed me to the point where I just stopped doing anything that made me happy. I was beyond depressed. Still kind of bounces back and forth depending on the day but it was bad. One day she started an argument and "jokingly" asked when I would move out. I told her by the end of the week. There it is.


3. What a horrible thing to do to someone.

I would classify my ex as an emotionally abusive and manipulative person. This culminated in her cheating on me, denying it when I found out, and then trickle-truthing me and our group therapist for months.

I eventually decided that I had gained everything I could from our group sessions and ended all contact with her. I blocked her everywhere.

Months later, she contacted me through Gchat of all things, saying that she had information that affected my health and that I would "suffer the consequences" if I did not reply. I did, and was told a few things

-She allegedly had Hepatitis C (doubtful, really, since it is so rare to get from hospitals)

-She had seen our therapist, who now totally agreed that I was at fault (a lie, since I had seen her only a week before for an individual session and she mentioned having not seen my ex in months)

-She was now seeing two (!?) other therapists that both agreed that I was a villain (whatever)

After our conversation, during which I told her that I thought she was a dangerous person for me to be around, she contacted many mutual friends on Facebook and told them that I was "unsupportive during her time of need". Several of them, mostly those who only knew me as her boyfriend, unfriended me. No big loss.

I got tested for STDs just in case, was found clean, and haven't heard from her since.


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