23. I'm a fourth grade teacher and before winter break my class was making ornaments to take home. They were simple glass balls that we filled with paint. We were starting to clean up and a few boys were still working on the ornaments on the other side of the room. I yelled over to them "(name) and (name) get your balls over here right now!" As soon as I said it I realized my mistake.
24. I had just begun class, freshman comp at a community college, and was going over what the day's plan was. A student walked in a few minutes late, sat down, and pulled out his computer. Upon opening the computer, very loud moaning sounds of porn emanated into the room for approximately three seconds. Once he got it to stop, he shakily said, "I'm sorry."
I stood at the podium and said um and uh a couple of times and then, "Give me just a minute, guys." I sat stood there looking down at the podium, trying to collect my thoughts as calmly as humanly possible, so I could continue class like nothing happened. After around 15 seconds of pure and uncomfortable silence, a kid from the back of the room let out a two-syllable, guttural chuckle.
I lowered my head to behind the podium with my hands still clasping onto it above my head as I bent over and LOST MY SHIT. I laughed hysterically and uncontrollably for at least 30 to 45 seconds, emulating Stewie's ridiculous laugh from that episode of Family Guy but with far more wheezing and high-pitched squealing. The entire class started laughing with me as soon as I started.
After I was finally able to collect myself, I apologized to everyone and said I was sorry, and that I had tried so hard to remain composed. Later, when telling this story to other faculty, they agreed that there's no time in pedagogy classes devoted to the appropriate reaction to porn noises being played during class, and that I did the best with what I could by not calling the kid out (I literally didn't make eye contact with him once) or kicking him out of class for something that was embarrassing enough as it was.