12 Married People Share How They Really Feel About Their Partner Aging.

We all wonder what the future will bring, especially when it comes to our most important person: our partner.

If you've ever wondered what might happen as you both age, check out these twelve responses to the question: what is it like to watch your partner age?

Many thanks to reddit user for posing this question. Check out more responses from the link at the end of this article!


1/12. I met my wife when she was 23. When I saw her, I thought she was one of the most beautiful women I'd ever seen. Long, slender, beautiful, gorgeous, etc. Basically, she was a hot 23 year old girl.

We are older now. Not OLD old, but certainly older than we were. And our bodies are aging, and our faces are starting to wrinkle. But here's the thing: I look at my wife, and I see exactly what I saw when she was 23. It's strange. I know in my head that she is older. She's had two kids. Her butt is sagging, and her belly isn't as flat as it was, and her legs aren't as svelte as they were, and her face is starting to get the early-mid-age wrinkles in it. But when I see her in front of me, she is still that smokin' hot 23 year old girl.

When I look at photos of her at 23, I get a little bit of a reminder, "Oh yeah, we're getting older. She doesn't ACTUALLY look exactly the same as she did."

But put away the photos, and I forget. She's still as beautiful to me as the day we met.

Sappy. I know. But for me, it's the truth.

ScienceAteMyKid

2/12. Married at 27 to S (25 at the time), and 30 (!?) years later, watching us grow older together is life's biggest joy.

The idea of "looks fading" makes me laugh. Luckily we've always liked each other just the way we were, are, and will be.

Sure, the old pics are hot, snaps of great memories along the way. But I still want to jump his bones. Taking extra care not to hurt his new knee.

EltearPDX

3/12. My wife and I got married very young, she was 18, I was 20.


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We are celebrating our 40 anniversary this year. Yes we have aged. No, we don't look the same. But it's not something that matters. We travel together, we laugh, we talk about things that we have done and experienced. I wouldn't trade our relationship for anything.

When I travel on business, and see or do new things my first thought is always, man, I wish my wife was here to see that. Life is not the same if I'm not sharing it with her. She says the same thing.

upshot

4/12. Imagine getting a new puppy.

You can't imagine any animal in the world being better than this one. It's young, fun, cute, fresh, and loves you to bits. Now imagine you've been it's best friend for ten years, developed your own private code/language with it, developed habits and mutual rules of respect, learned your boundaries, taught each other tricks and nurtured each other through sickness and health, spent every night together snuggled up in bed.

Do you still care that it's not a puppy? No, because that's a novelty. Novelties wear off. You love it because it's your partner, it understands you, and you two are soul mates.

That's what it's like with a person, except that it goes deeper, and can last longer, because you share the same spoken and written languages and life expectancy.

gildme

5/12. My mom and dad were married for over 35 years.

My mom died when she was 54 and my dad was 56. My dad said that he hated not being able to grow truly old with her. He had watched her age and mature for 35 years and it had been so beautiful for him. He described looking at her as seeing her at 20 and at 50, like the two images were overlapped. He said she only grew more beautiful with every year, because she was hot when they met but then he watched her carry his children, take care of him when he needed it and slowly meet death. She wasn't a pretty, shiny thing any more.

She was a full person who had given and received love, run the good race and suffered.

hitchcocklikedblonds

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6/12. I've been married 35 years, my wife's smile never fails to brighten my day. The fact I can still make her laugh and giggle like a little girl fills me up inside. My favorite part of the day is when I crawl in bed, wrap my arms around her, and fall asleep.

Beauty has nothing to do with how pretty a person is, it is all about their soul. She has more wrinkles and gray hair now than she did when we first met, but so do I. It isn't the wrinkles I'm looking at, it's the mother of our children, my partner, and my soulmate that I see when I'm with her.

tiny15

7/12. My wife and I will be married 24 years this December.

My advice to all couples: SPOON SPOON SPOON. Every night. Seriously guys: curl up behind her, put your arms around her, kiss her on the ear and drift off to sleep together. It is the all time best feeling. I am at the point where i have a really hard time falling asleep if my wife isn't spooning with me.

It's why I was born.

Capri92


8/12. I've been married 23 years and honestly, I don't really see the changes. He may be getting some wrinkles and grey hair, and maybe he's gained some weight, but I love him more than ever and can't imagine my life without him. In fact, when I see old photos of him, I think he actually looks better now. I just don't notice negative changes. I see the person I love. The changes have all come so gradually, it doesn't really seem like a change.

Of course, if he gains enough weight to threaten his health, then we're going to have to work on that, because I have no intention of being a young widow, but other than that, his looks will never affect the way I feel about him.

Funny, but about 20 years ago, he and I got together with three other couples, and the girls were in one room, talking about how they'd feel if their husband gained 50 pounds. The other three said they wouldn't be attracted to him anymore. I was the only one who said I would still be hot for my husband, no matter how much weight he gained. And 20 years later, he and I are the only ones still together.

So, I guess the lesson is, if your main reason for loving someone is how they look, things might not work out long term. You'll probably fare a lot better marrying someone you love talking to, who makes you laugh, and treats you well.

10S_NE1

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9/12. I'm 49 and my wife is 47, does that count? We've been married for 19 years.

My wife is still very attractive to me. Sure, she's older, but so am I. Neither one of use is going to be winning any beauty pageants. I'm still very attracted to her physically, that has never changed. I was attracted to her when I first met her and I still am.

I think what happens over time is that you become attracted to the whole person, so my attraction to her is about her personality, her charm, her wit, her history, her talent, her toughness, etc. etc. The more I get to know her, the more good stuff I find to be attracted to.

Plus, she puts up with my crap, which seems like a miracle sometimes.

SLCamper

10/12. I've known my wife for almost 20 years. We were friends in high school and dated on and off for years before we were married (13 years ago). We have 2 young children, and we have changed a lot in that time, both inside and outside.

When I look at her, I see the girl I first met in high school, the girl I daydreamed about on countless afternoons, I see the woman that I traveled with across Europe, the woman who sat with me in an aisle on a train (no seats were left) as it traveled into Poland late in the night.

I see the woman who gave birth to our kids, I see the strength and stubbornness that got her through hours and hours of labor, I see the joy and worry on her face as we took them home. I see years of smiles and happiness, of love and life in every line on her face.

But what amazes me even more, is what she sees in me. She has seen me carved up and down - organs removed, stitched this way and that. She has seen me with bags connected to me, through chemo and radiation, in situations too embarrassing for me to share, she has seen my pain raw and real.

And yet she turns to me, and looks into my eyes, and says, with nothing but love, honesty and those shared years, that she doesn't see the ravages of chemo, of radiation, of surgery on top of surgery on top of surgery. That she only sees me, as I was then, as I will always be in her eyes.

And this is something beautiful, something wonderful.

canceryguy

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11/12. My wife and I met in college, and we've been together for almost 20 years. Here's my perspective.

First, I think she's as good looking/better looking than when we met. A few grey hairs, a wrinkle here or there. Not a big deal. And those changes have happened so gradually that I've gotten used to them along the way. Maybe if college me met then and now wife back to back, he'd see a difference. I don't really.

Second, and way more important, this just isn't how people who have long-term relationships think. Young people place all this importance on looks, because that's all you have to go by. When I look at my wife, I think of our shared history together. All the meals together, the vacations, the things we've done and achieved, all the thousands of little stories that only we know. How I feel about her affects how I see her. How could 20 years of fun, friendship, and intimacy NOT make her better looking to me? But this is something that no 20-something can really fully understand. The only way you'll get it is when it happens to you.

This, BTW, is true of a lot of things in life.

CowboyLaw


12/12. Imagine when you were in 6th grade and you had a crush on someone. They were the best looking things in the world. Have you taken a look at a 6th grade lately? They are little children.

The same applies now. My wife and I are the same age. When I see girls who are the same age as my wife (19) when I met her, they look like immature little girls. My wife is still stunningly beautiful.

Your tastes change in a good way.

One of the things to keep in mind is that as your partner grows older so do you. The wrinkles, the gray hairs, the few extra pounds: you gain those together. You earn them. When you gain them together, they tend to cancel out.

Do I see my wife as older than she was when I met her? Not really. I notice it more in myself than I do in her. And she still loves me for it.

5howtime



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