13 Scarred-For-Life People Share Their Most Embarrassing Medical Stories.

Everybody gets at least a bit nervous when they go to see the doctor. Suddenly every little itch and scratch seems like it might be the thing that takes you out. But then something even worse, and much more embarrassing, happens.

Here are thirteen of people's most embarrassing medical stories.


Many thanks to Reddit user Jonnism for posing this question. You can check out more answers from the source at the end of this article!


1/13. I gave birth two weeks ago and got an epidural, apparently those things make it impossible to hold in a fart. Did not know that. My technique to cover it up was talking loudly every time I farted.

AdjectiveAdverb

2/13. I got circumcised at 13. After the bloody mess, the doc pointed to some towels for me to wipe off with and left the room. After I was finished, the doctor, my mom, and I had a brief debrief of the operation, and he boasted and elaborated to my mother how many stitches he had to use because my penis was so large.

My mother had the most awkward face I'd ever seen.

Dickfore

3/13. I became sexually active when I turned 18. I knew about sex, where babies came from, etc. Thanks to sex ed classes. So my boyfriend at the time and I had protected sex (condoms and birth control) 99.9% of the time we had sex.

Well, we slipped up once, but I thought, no big deal. I'm on birth control anyway.

Weeks later, I'm a couple hours away from taking a test for a class and I get these cold sweats. I'm talking extreme. Then I get this ridiculous pain close to where I thought my ovaries were. I felt like I was dying. I googled my symptoms and the first thing to pop up was an ectopic pregnancy. I immediately panicked.

I went to my professor, who saw that I was in no state to even come to class. He sent me home.

I asked my friend to drive me to the ER. I saw the doctor and told him of my suspicions. He asked me what i had eaten that day and pushed down on certain areas of my stomach.

Turns out, the food I ate and the time I ate it gave me gas that got trapped.

xpoisonvoodoo

4/13. My father is a nurse. He used to be an ER nurse (he now works in patient transport, which is a bit less nutty). He once came home from a night shift, and said to me, with a straight face:


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"You know you're a trained professional when you manage to keep a straight face while taking a lava lamp out of a woman."

I did not stop laughing for a solid minute.

Lordveus

5/13. I was once EXTREMELY constipated. I was roughly 12-13 at the time, and didn't really know about constipation. Every now and then, a small amount would pass and I thought that was all I had in me.

Until one sunny afternoon, I experienced a bad cramp in my gut. A contraction, if you will. I spoke to my mother (who is a nurse at a hospital) and explained my predicament. We went to our local doctor and he explained that I had a poop backlog, and it could really do with being evacuated. Quite soon. (Looking back on it this did take place over about 9 months).

I was checked into another hospital (not the one my mother works at) in a few days, and administered suppositories. No effect. I then received an enema. This also had no effect. Over the course of the next 2 days I received another set of suppositories & 2 enemas.

Then one night while I was asleep my body let its guard down. I awoke with another contraction and feeling the imminent doom that was about to escape my anus I headed for the lavatory.

As I sat down on the toilet I heard what could only be described as the gates of Hell being opened, and felt my body literally become about 5 pounds lighter in 3 seconds. My entire lower body went numb. As I tried to move the small of my back ached. I called for a nurse and after being helped back to bed I overheard the words 'Waste Team' being said.

I spent the next 10 hours in a deep sleep, whilst I spent the next day in a wheelchair, before being able to use my legs again, and that toilet was out of use for 3 more days. I think they had to replace it.

Kemps

6/13. When I was 12 my school district required any kids going out for sports to have a physical...


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This included the whole, "don't drink, don't smoke, let's take your blood pressure, check your vitals, etc." Well, the last, and most embarrassing part for a 12 year old boy is having the doctor examine your penis/groin for a 'hernia'. I got a pretty female med student to perform my physical.

Managed to pop an erection right around the time she asked me to "remove my shorts". She tried to act very professional while examining my newly developed man-hood before exclaiming, "I'm sorry, but isn't he too young to have an erection?!" before bursting out in laughter and leaving the room. Her supervising physician (male) finished the exam while trying to hold back awkward giggles of his own.

Meanwhile, my father was wiping back tears of hysteria after witnessing what he was certain to be the most humiliating moment of his son's life.

marlborokid91

7/13. This pretty young nurse used to hang out in my room in the couple of days before my surgery. She gave me company and I was her escape from rude old men. She always smelled nice.

So the surgery was at the end of my spine, or top of my butt, basically. I was hairy even in high school. So this one time she comes in with breakfast and I'm like "hey!" and she's got dead eyes and a stone face. "Turn around please". I do, and off comes the gown, and she starts shaving my butt for the next hour.

It was never the same after that.

HadiDev

8/13. When I was about 10 I had an abscess in my a**. Like right next to my anuse. I went to the doctors office to get it checked out, and they decided they had to pop it. I'd gotten these things semi often and I had to operate away some tissue or something, still have a scar.

Anyway the nurse that drew the shortest straw had to pop an abscess inside of a 10 year old. It might be that it was kinda big, or that it was under a lot of pressure, but she got sprayed by a puss fountain.

Machoape

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9/13. One night back in high school I woke up with ungodly stomach pains in the middle of the night. I spent an hour in the bathroom trying to vomit or poop so the pain would go away.

Eventually my mother drove me to the hospital and after half an hour in the ER I finally got a room. The nurse came in to do all that pre doctor stuff and the moment she leaves I let rip a giant fart and feel 100% better. We left shortly after that and yes it was awkward.

nathan1942

10/13. When I was, I think, fifteen - sixteen, I realized that something was severely wrong with my labia. However, because of my crushingly conservative upbringing, which taught me to be ashamed of anything body-related and terrified of bringing up important stuff to my guardians, I waited several more days than I should have to ask my grandmother to take me to the doctor. That was humiliating on its own, but not THAT bad.

So I went to the doctor, she spread me out to take a look, and proceeded to say what you never want to hear from anyone in a medical position: "oh no."

"What?" I asked, lifting my head fruitlessly to try and see what her rubber glove fingers were finding.

She grilled me about my sexual history, then, which was basically nonexistent as I'd never felt like inviting anyone into my pants. We had what amounted to the same conversation several times:

"Do you practice safe sex?"

"I'm a virgin."

etc. etc. etc.

Finally she told me, "it looks to me like you've contracted herpes."

OH GOD. WHAT. HOW DID I GET HERPES WHAT. AGGHHHHH.


"But," she continued, "it seems strange. Please wait here a moment while I get a colleague."

So she takes off and then arrives back maybe fifteen minutes later, dragging another doctor behind her, and they both stand before my spread legs and stare, scratching their chins. I am hating them by now. The original doctor says, "I've never seen anything like it." The other doctor says, "neither have I. Let me go ask (some other doctor), he might have seen a case like this before."

AUUUGGHHH.


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I think I had like four doctors in there staring at my bits together, at one point, while the original doctor WHIPPED OUT HER NOTEBOOK AND STARTED DRAWING A DOODLE OF MY LABIA SO THAT SHE COULD POINT OUT DETAILS TO THE OTHER DOCTORS.

THAT WAS THE WORST PART AND I DID NOT WANT TO BE DRAWN LIKE ONE OF HER FRENCH GIRLS WHY.

In the end, they scraped around for some cultures to test and sent me home with a lot of vicodin, since I couldn't move or urinate without screaming. Eventually they called us back to say, "It's not herpes! I don't know what it is though, still," and after that, it went away...

And because it went away, they gave up on trying to figure out what it was, but it was awful and I never want that many people commenting casually on my bits again, so weird.

handmethatkitten

11/13. At least two distinct doctors have put their fingers up my bum. One of them also tried to insert a nasal tube, patiently waited while I vomited the last contents of my stomach out on her, and tried again. I have immense respect for that woman; she kept me from having an unnecessary major surgery and was with me all two weeks I spent in the hospital. I should send her some chocolates or something.

mfukar

12/13. I had a rash develop on my left armpit when I was 18. It was awful. So bad that it looked like one of those 'frosty' burns which kids used to give to each other with cans of deodorant.

I assumed that I was an idiot and had given myself a frosty by using deodorant too vigorously.

Eventually got to the doctor and I explained how I had given myself a frosty. He just looked at me for a while before saying:

"I don't know what a 'frosty' is - and I don't condone those - but I CAN tell you that this is Impetigo... A rash mainly developed by dirty 2 - 5 year olds."

arana-_-discoteca

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13/13. About three months ago I woke up with extreme pain in my lower back, so me and my father went to the ER, after a while of question asking and discussing in between the doctors they came to the conclusion that I had kidney stones.

After a while a male nurse came into the room to give me a painkilling shot, so I laid down on the "operating table" and he said: "So, go ahead and pull your pants down", and I was like, why would I pull down my pants?

"Because this shot has to be inserted in your butt cheek. So as told I pulled down my pants and got mentally prepared since I don't really like shots (or other males around my bum-area).


Then, with the most immense strength ever produced by a single man, he literally punches me with the syringe. While that was bad enough, he then proceeds to slap my a** and leave me and my dad kinda creeped out.

Yeah, wasn't good...

Simmis95


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It's hard working in customer service, especially with irate customers. You need to be able to empathize and understand where your customers are coming from, show sympathy, and be willing to help them with their problem. However, if they come at you ranting and raving about an issue which clearly has nothing to do with you, well, then you're free to rant about them on the internet.

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