14 Mortified People Share The Most Embarrassing Moment Of Their Lives.

Everyone has a cringey memory that they look back on and wish they could forget. Whether it was at camp, school, or even at work yesterday. the past haunts us.

One way to relieve the anxiety of these memories is to share. So here are fourteen people who did just that!

Many thanks to all the commenters for sharing, and the person who posed the question. You can check out more answers from the source at the end of this article!


1/14. I was standing next to a barbershop outside waiting to get a haircut. Standing next to me was a man whom I asked "are you getting a haircut too?"

He was bald.

ncltrees


2/14. My boyfriend's landlord is my French teacher from high school. It's not a bad situation- I was a good student, and it's not like the landlord is over all the time.

One day, the boy was going down on me- it was the middle of the day and nobody else was home, so I felt no fear in loudly expressing my appreciation. Once I had finished, there was a sharp knock on the door of his room. "Hey, rent's due... Good job!" the landlord called. Apparently he had been standing out there waiting. While I appreciate his allowing me to finish, I still can't look the guy in the face.

Anonymous

3/14. A few weeks ago I was horny and for god knows what reason, decided to try use my cellphone as a vibrator.

Anyway... it got stuck up there and the only person who could get me to hospital was my friend (who thought it was hilarious).

On the way there he posted on Facebook informing the world of my situation, along with my cellphone number. For the next hour, I sat in the emergency room waiting area receiving uncomfortable stares as the phone in my a** rung and vibrated, all the while my flatmate laughing hysterically and telling me I'd better answer it as it could be important.

dragonboltz

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4/14. In Korea the toilets in more rural areas rarely have toilet paper.

I was 14 visiting family for the summer and had to drop a huge deuce. It came out like gravy; and it was then I realized I had no toilet paper or paper towels in the bathroom. Unlike American toilets, most in Korea are the squatters, so I couldn't use the toilet water to wipe my a** with my hands.

There were a ton of people in the bathroom, and for some reason I decided to use my umbrella I had because it was raining, and I figured the rain would wash it away when I got outside. When I went outside my aunt grabbed the umbrella, which was the only one we had, and yelled at me for taking so long and opened it up. Small pieces of my feces flew on my entire family like we were gingerly coated with brown pepper.

Needless to say I have never returned to Korea.

Anonymous

5/14. My most embarrassing moment happened while I was working at a camp for the summer. I was a camp runner, meaning that I was the guy that drove into town for whatever reason. At night I'd sleep in a room with about 10 other guys, and the bathrooms were big and always busy, so I was completely abstinent nearly the entire summer.

So one day I got a call that I had to pick up a camper girl who had been bitten by a spider and take her to urgent care. It was policy that if I was driving a camper of the opposite sex somewhere, there had to be another adult (18+) of the opposite sex riding with us. The other adult that came with us was this cute girl that I had had a few conversations with prior. I was somewhat sleep-deprived at the time, and she knew this, so as she had her camp driving clearance and knew the way to the urgent care, she offered to drive, and I accepted.

The camp was in the middle of nowhere, so the ride to the urgent care was pretty long. In that time I fell asleep. I woke up with my dick hard as a rock and the head of it poking out of the leg of my shorts. Before I was able to get my bearings, I felt a surge of pressure and proceeded to ejaculate onto the glove compartment door. Immediately I heard both a shriek and a girl yell, "oh God! Holy shit no!" I turned and looked at both girls. Both of them had obviously seen what happened and both of their faces were like beet red. The car was absolutely silent for the next 10 minutes apart from the sounds of me attempting to wipe up my semen with an old McDonald's bag. Finally we reached the urgent care, and I dropped them off.

After talking with the girl that drove the next day, I had apparently been hard for like 10 minutes. Both of them were fully aware of it, but both were too embarrassed to wake me up. That was the worst.

AstronautJones68

6/14. When I was 13 a doctor wrote me an adult dose for a certain medicine based on my weight. I was an overweight kid. Our body does not work that way and the medicine ended up constipating me...for a month. I did not sh*t for a whole month. I got sick. I had racoon-like eyes, my stomach would jump or flutter by itself, I had cramps, etc. It was bad. I was miserable.


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I finally told my parents how long it had been since I had sh*t and they freaked out and took me to the hospital. There, they gave 3 enemas back to back. After the third and final one, all that water softened all that sh*t up just enough so I could expel it. I ran to the nearest bathroom, gown open in the back, and tried to make it to the toilet.

I didn't.

My a** was hovering at a 45 degree angle above the toilet when the geyser burst. This next part is not a lie, but i know some of you will think it is, I got sh*t everywhere. On the ceiling (somehow), on the floor, the toilet was covered, the walls, even the sink got hit with some spray. It was literally, yes literally, sprayed on all walls and ceiling. It was everywhere.

I felt like a new kid after that. Cleaned myself up the best I could and then had to figure out what to do. There was no way i could clean it all up, I needed a janitor. So I walked out and politely told a nurse the bathroom needed a clean up and badly.

A janitor was only a few rooms down for some reason so I saw him go by to clean it, but he did not know who I was, he got to the bathroom and the whole ER heard, "Oh hell no, I ain't cleaning this up. I quit." And he did.

I felt so bad, still do. I made some poor janitor quit his job over a sh*t-caked bathroom.

Moobyghost


7/14. My dad once caught me having sex with an Alf doll.

Anonymous

8/14. In first grade my entire school (k-12, pretty small school) had an assembly for God knows what. The assembly was some sort of educational thing where the actors sang and danced to try to get the students to learn "the fun way."

Now, what makes this interesting was that I was watching some Spiderman cartoons the night before. During the assembly, one of the actresses asks the audience "Who sailed the ocean blue in 1492?" I was half asleep at this point, but one of my friends poked me and told me to raise my hand, so I did, because I was in 1st grade and I didn't know any better.

She calls on me. I didn't even know the question at this point so a friend whispered it to me. I had no idea. So, I blurted out the first name that popped into my head...


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"Norman Virgil Osbourne!" Yes, I answered her question with the Green Goblin. I said this quite emphatically and confidently, by the way.

The whole auditorium became deathly silent at this point. No one laughed, no one murmured. I think it was because people were so confused and flabbergasted that there was really nothing anyone could say or do. The actress had this look on her face for a good 5 seconds before she said, "No, thats not...right. But why dontcha come up here and dance with us?!?"

I was very reluctant to, but if you have like 500 people waiting on your move, there's not much you can do. As I'm walking towards the stage (again, deathly silent), my older sister, probably in junior high at this point, screams "YEAH WOOOOO YEAHHHH!" It didn't make things much better.

I get to the stage. The music starts and the actress starts square dancing with me, along with about 10 other cast members. After about 10 seconds, I had a "NOPE" moment, and literally ran off the stage, through the side doors, and ran home (wasn't too far, maybe a mile away). I'm in college now, and although I think absolutely NO ONE remembers it, I will forever.

pmanly

9/14. Seventh grade Spanish test.

It's all quiet in the room. I'm a long haired greasy socially awkward geek. I feel a sneeze coming on but decide to hold it back so as to not draw attention to myself. I try, but cannot contain the sneeze inside. It takes the path of least resistance out of my body- my completely stuffed-up nose. The sound is incredible. The snot tent is amazing-fully formed spider web of snot between my desk and my face. The classroom turns to look at me and sit in stunned silence.

After about ten seconds, the girl in front of me (the hottest 7th grader in school) says loudly "that's gross!"

Everyone laughs.

I try to disappear.

jethrowrathbone


10/14. So it's junior year in high school, I'm in first period theology (catholic school) and I'm tired as hell, ironically.

There's a cute blonde sitting in front of me and a cuter redhead in back. Despite being tired, I flirt with both of them before class starts, but more so with the redhead; I'm feeling good about life.

So when class begins, satisfied, I put my head down and descend into the deepest of in-class slumbers. What felt like about half way into class, I'm awoken by the most ungodly sounding flatulence; I mean this was a like a bear fart.

I raise my head, in my drowsy stupor, wondering who it may have been and notice the entire class and teacher are looking towards my side of the class. Being tired, I apathetically put my head back down to sleep, but only to be jolted awake, seconds later, by the realization that it was me! I farted my self awake!

I mean, I had felt my desk vibrate! Needless to say, that was the last time I ever flirted with the either the blonde or the redhead, or anyone who was in the class for that matter.

deyv

11/14. When I was fourteen and almost always thought with my penis, I decided it would be great to masturbate with a condom on, I liked how it felt and did it for about a week.


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They also happened to be my dad's condoms, so, long story short my mom realizes that so many condoms are missing and thinks my father is having an affair, comes crying to me about it and my initial reaction is to deny any speculation that I used the condoms, after realizing that this may end my parents marriage I ran upstairs and with tears coming from my eyes I explained to my mom that I used them, not for sex, but for masturbating.

I cried for an hour.

waymorestupider

12/14. So I was at work and I had to take the Titanic of sh*ts. I proceed to go to the restroom. Before I flush, I always look. But what I saw this time was horrifying. It was the size of a toddlers leg.

Flushing isn't an option anymore. I panic and start to look for a solution.

Outside the stall I look in the trash and find an empty Pringles can. I proceed to scoop the thing. I breathe a sigh of relief. I flush the remainder and walk out of the stall. My co-worker walks in and says "ooh Pringles! Give me one!". Before I could say no, she grabs the can and puts her hand in. She freaks out looks inside the can and yells, "what the f*ck is this!?"

....all I could mutter was "sh*t".

VeritasWay

13/14. A couple of seniors of my high school were pulling into parking lot, before school, in a "beater F-150". It was a nice Friday morning and they had come up with this silly plan to do a drive-by mooning of some "popular girls" (no doubt to impress them).

They had done this before so they had a rehearsed plan. As they proceeded to pull closer to the girls, the driver honks his horn as the passenger drops his pants and sticks his a** all the way out the window. The passenger felt a nice fart welling up inside at this time, so he decided it would be extra funny to turn this into a drive-by gassing. He executed with precision timing.

Here is where it all goes wrong.

The previous day was Senior Ditch Day and he spent much of the previous day consuming copious ammounts of alcohol, apparently passing out a number of times. So when he "let 'er rip" it was not a bubble of gas he was releasing, so-much-as a torrent of bile and fecal matter, in the form of a geyser. From five feet away at eye level, he had unleashed 24pk o' sh*t and hosed the girls. While the first escaped with little damage, the two other girls had taken direct hits.

Vomit, screaming and crying was produced by many spectators.

david-me

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14/14. This one has haunted me for years...

It was the first week of tenth grade, and I was new at my high school. My other new kid friends and I sat down at a table in the cafeteria, and another new girl sat down with us. She was in a wheelchair.

She was actually sarcastic and funny, introducing herself and making jokes about being in a wheelchair. Example:

Her: "I'm trying out for field hockey!"

Me: "Wait, really?"

Her: "Hahaha no you idiot, I'm in a wheelchair."

Eventually one of my friends boldly asks her about how she ended up in a wheelchair. She says it was cancer. My friend asks which kind. She responds, "Leukemia, have you heard of it?"

Now, bear in mind, she was funny. She really was. And cmon, who hasn't heard of leukemia? So my gut reaction to her response was that it must be a joke. I mean, everyone's heard of leukemia!

It was too late. I burst out laughing. I immediately realized what had happened and tried to cover it up by gasping. It only made it worse. Everyone at the table glared at me.

I spent the rest of lunch in absolute silence, and I never spoke to her again.

rts94


Source.

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It's hard working in customer service, especially with irate customers. You need to be able to empathize and understand where your customers are coming from, show sympathy, and be willing to help them with their problem. However, if they come at you ranting and raving about an issue which clearly has nothing to do with you, well, then you're free to rant about them on the internet.

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