14 Window Washers Share The Craziest Things They’ve Ever Seen On The Job.

Have you ever looked up the wall of a skyscraper and wondered what one of those tiny specks hanging from a few lines had seen. That much time in the air is bound to lead to a few strange sightings.

Here are fourteen of them...

Many thanks to the Redditors who posed this question. You can find more answers from the sources at the end of this article!


1/14. I'm a professional window washer, and I've had a few weird moments over the past years.

I came up to a window in an office building where some guy was watching porn, once he noticed me he freaked out and ran out of his office.

I've cleaned a window where some kid was watching porn and his mom was right across from him in the same room (she had no idea).

I have also accidentally gone up to a window where some lady was taking a dump..

THE_BHK

2/14. I'm a residential window cleaner in a team of three. We were doing an inside/outside job on this old man's home. He was a real nice fella, but he had his oddities, as do all folks.

Well, he had puppets. Hundreds of creepy, unblinking puppets. This old man kept them in one room, hanging off his curtains and the curtain rod. I guess they made the curtains very unstable, and my buddy bumped into a few. I was downstairs and heard him scream like a little kid, followed by a loud clatter. It turns out, when he bumped into the puppets, he brought half of the puppet army down on his head and the curtains fell with them.

The old guy and my other partner found it hysterical, he didn't share the sentiment.

MAttybeats


3/14. I didn't see anything particularly gross except massive spider nests and so on that we had to clear off from time to time, however, I did see one kind of hilarious incident:

First day at a new site. Condo community in a small town. Use a 2 story pole brush to wash 2nd floor windows. Work in teams because it's hard on the arms.

My partner is on his first day. First window he gets to do, gingerly grabs the pole, turns the water on, lightly sets the brush down on the window and WHAM... Window gets pushed all the way in and this woman sitting at her desk gets absolutely soaked by the nozzle on the end of the brush. She initially lost it, but they had been notified to lock their windows ahead of time, so me and new guy didn't get in any kind of trouble.

backflip17

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4/14. I once saw about 8-10 businessmen standing in a circle and throwing a small soft ball into at each other.

ColoradoSheriff

5/14. We were at the home of a pretty attractive 50 something, and she was giving me a tour of all the windows. We were finally in her bedroom, and her blinds were down. They used a remote control to raise/lower, so she opens her bedside to grab the remote, revealing a big, bright pink dildo.

She must not have remembered it was there, because she left the drawer open afterwards. As we talked, the dildo was just behind her in my sight. I have never exercised such restraint to look at something before. But then you just laugh and forget it.

Also, at another house where the owners were gone, there were sexy handcuffs still attached to the bedposts and a pistol on the bedside table. Definitely a crazy one for sure.

skateordie720

6/14. I used to do suspended window cleaning just after I graduated high school. My friend got me the job.

As we were both on a tower, we stopped about half way down the building to have a quick bite to eat.

He kept pulling up his shirt and using the windows reflection to see his stomach. As he was posing, we hear a knock on the glass window and some lady holds up a piece of paper with "Hey Good Looking!" written on it and she's laughing and waving at him. The windows are very hard to see in to but if you focus enough you can make out things on the other side. Unfortunately for my friend he didn't realize a woman was at her desk. He was so embarrassed.

The best part was, we just started our lunch break and we sat there for another 20 minutes.

HerEyesOnTheHorizon

7/14. I washed windows professionally for 3 years in college.

Worst thing I saw was a guy beating up on his GF. He stopped when he noticed me. I called the cops on him. And yes they took my statement as a witness. He was hauled off in cuffs. She was pretty bruised up.

The best thing I saw was a family reading together. Maybe it was the look in the kids eyes but man, that really touched me.

CaliforniaDreamin74

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8/14. One time I was cleaning a restaurant and one of the windows had a crack in it, and the owner expected me to wash away the crack using soap and water somehow? But long story short he raged at me and reported my work to my boss because I couldn't fix broken glass using water.

Sivatherium

9/14. It's not uncommon to do the job and not have any actual contact with the customer.

So one day me and my coworker started on this house, he leaves to go fill up a tank of gas for a power washer. I climb up to the second floor to start washing windows. I end up interrupting a couple having sex.

Lady runs out the back door and drives away. I just kind of laugh it off and call my boss, and ask him to call and apologize on my behalf. Turns out the wife wasn't home.

STylerMLmusic

10/14. This happened at a fetish convention two years ago. I host masturbation parties.

They put us in a room on the 10th floor. This year we just happened to have the window washers come through at the same time as the party. A group of the women decided to run to the window and press boobies to glass as a thank you.

I am not sure I have ever seen two larger smiles in my entire life.

bouncyhouse

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11/14. My dad was a window washer.

The first story he told me was a man proposing to a woman, as he was going up, he saw a man kneeling down on his knee waiting for a door to open, about 3 minutes later a woman walked in and she said yes.

The second time he said that he saw a man who was in his office leaning against the glass, he said that he though the man was resting against the window, but it wasn't until afterwards (3 hours later) that he learned that the man had a heart attack in his office.

The last one was a woman who had just done the "deed" with a co-worker, he had seen this woman several times in the past and she looked at him and his crew as she was getting dressed, put her finger in her lips as to say "shhh" and they skipped that window.

JLeron

12/14. When I was 18 I worked a summer as a residential window washer.

My boss sends me inside and tells me to start with the windows in the master bedroom. I'm half done when the lady that lives there walks out from the bathroom in nothing but her bathrobe, fully open, exposing her business to the world.

I'm startled, vision trained directly on her lady parts. I promptly look up to her eyes and try to maintain eye contact. She gives me a sly smile and very sloooowwwllly backs up, closing the bathroom door between us. I avoid her the rest of the job.

She ended up giving my boss an extra $15 tip specifically for me.

bigbrainonb-rad

13/14. When I was a teenager I was raising money to go to Disney Land for chorus.

The teachers told us a few ideas that we could do, and one of them was washing windows weekly for 5 weeks. Four households hired me. They were all old, retired people who lived next to each other to enjoy each others company.

I woke up early every Saturday, for three weeks, and arrived at the first house. They would always welcome me, give me some snacks, and I would only have to wash the outsides of the windows. This happened at each house, all the way down, until I was done. On the last week, the first house I went to was empty...


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I cleaned the windows anyway. Same with the next, and the next. Finally, I arrived at the last house, not even bothering ringing the doorbell because I thought they all went on a trip or something. I washed the windows, until I go to the giant window to the master bedroom in the back. The curtains were wide open, and there were naked parts showing. All of my neighbors were having an orgy.

ALL OF THEM.

kedipopo

14/14. Somebody washing the inside window...

A moment of brief recognition... a nod...

notmyblood


BONUS:

I once had a bookcase collapse on me in my office, as I was laying on the floor under a pile of books and shelves I heard a knock, there was a window cleaner at the window trying not to laugh and asking if I was ok.

PM_Me_tasteful_nude


Sources 1, 2, 3.

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