15 Teachers Share The Funniest Thing They've Ever Confiscated From A Student.
Ohhhhh the joys of teaching...
1/15. A student's cell phone... And his front screen wallpaper was a naked picture of what I assume was a porn star. He was 13, and winked at me when I took it/saw the picture.
2/15. A note from a boy to a girl that simply said, "anal".
3/15. My mom was the teacher, not me but I remember when this story happened.
My mom was teaching fifth grade and she had a little guy who was the youngest of five boys and always trying to act like his big brothers.
One day she heard him telling another child that he had some grass in his backpack and they should smoke it at recess. My mom demanded the backpack and inside she found exactly what the kid had said, a baggie full of grass. As in lawn grass, the kind you mow.
4/15. My husband teaches high school and confiscated 1900 plastic cups once, the material for a spontaneous performance art happening. Or a prank, depends on how you look at it.
I think he was rather ambivalent about it, because it was a really clever plan, but all in all somebody had to do it.
Jeannine van der Linden
5/15. As a high school teacher I have only confiscated phones and ipods. There was one instance when I took a phone from a student who was actually having a conversation on her phone (rather than texting). When I asked for the phone, she turned it over immediately, as she informed me she was speaking to her mother. I didn't believe her, so I said "hello" when she gave me the phone. Sure enough it was her mother who apologized and asked whether she was disturbing the class by calling her daughter in the middle of the school day!
6/15. My first year teaching, a student was throwing a lacrosse ball around in the hallway near me. I caught it, and before I could tell him he could pick it up from my class after school, he grabbed my hand and started wrestling with me to get it back.
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7/15. Saw a kid focused on his hands in his desk, assumed he was texting. The school has a no cell phones rule, so I went over to confiscate it. Turns out he was rolling a joint, and had a sizeable bag of weed in the desk. High school's an experience...
8/15. I once confiscated a drawing book that one of my students was spending class time on (like in the middle of class he'd be drawing and not paying attention). I looked through and the entire thing is filled with explicit drawings of Shrek. I don't know what went through his mind when he drew those.
9/15. Not a teacher, but this previous year, this kid was peeling an orange in class instead of working on an essay. The sub got annoyed so he took it from him. The kid just simply shrugged before reaching into his backpack and pulled out another orange. He eats oranges everyday.
10/15. Every year, the Chinese program at my school takes a field trip to China Town.
And every year, someone buys a lobster. And brings it back to school.
11/15. Have an uncle that is a teacher for 11th grade Government. He told me a story about a kid who had a live squid in a zip lock hidden in his book bag. When the kid was called down to the principals office he told him he planned on putting it in the urinal.
Being a teacher is an adventure!
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12/15. A guy in my class had a 9 inch Bowie knife confiscated from him. He was furious as he claimed that he then had no way of opening the pomegranate that he had brought for his lunch.
13/15. My wife is a teacher. She once had to confiscate a box containing a kid's wisdom teeth. He brought them in to give to a girl he had a crush on.
14/15. Not me, but i have a friend who's teacher confiscated a whole roast chicken that a kid had in his desk and was eating during class.
15/15. Not me but a guy in my class in 8th grade. He didn't like the chairs in the class room so one day he brought in his own chair from home. Kids were asking him if they could sit on it (it was pretty comfy) and teachers eventually considered it to be 'disruptive'.
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