16 People Create The Most Persuasive Legal Defences For Disney Villains.
People on Reddit were asked: "What would your defense be for various Disney villains?" These are some of the best answers.
2/16 Scar was actually a hero for ending the systematic racism against Hyenas and promoting an equal society. It's not his fault that an unfortunately timed drought made things difficult for him. Mufasa was actually a dictator who not only hated the hyenas and ate any of his subjects if he found them inferior (circle of life, my ass) but also sought to install his idiot brat of a son on the throne while bullying the animals (like zazu) who do the actual work into obedience.
3/16 Gaston. He was a hunter by nature and there was a deadly beast in his village. He rightfully took a militia and attempted to seize the beast. Girl taken hostage, father taken hostage previous to her, the beats servants and maids were all essentially hostages. I mean I still feel for Gaston. If Belle didn't have that weird fetish this would make an awesome rescue story!
Gaston would've called instead of showing up late at night with torches and pitchforks but he didn't know the phone number of the beast.
4/16 Claude Frollo: it's not his fault that in God's plan he made the Devil so much stronger than a man.
5/16 While the violent intruder, who goes by the savage name "Mowgli", endangered the security and peace of the entire jungle, as he brought a weapon of mass destruction, that by experts is known as "fire", into the sovereign territory of the jungle, my client, the noble and acknowledged Mister Shere Khan, was one of the few citizens to realize the potential threat caused by this unlawful human creature.
Selflessly he fought the creature, while others were too lazy or driven by foolish and egoistic attempts to attain power through the human.
My client should therefore be treated as a hero and the true villains should be punished according to the laws of the jungle. Meaning Mister Shere Khan should be granted the right to kill and eat them.
6/16 Cruella Deville: Lawfully acting within her role as a duly appointed Animal Control Officer.
7/16 Ursula made a contract with Ariel that had no clause saying that Ursula was not allowed to interfere. The contract stated that she had to get Eric to fall in love with her without her voice, she failed, and she has to pay the price for her failure. It's not Ursula's fault Ariel doesn't put things by a lawyer before she signs them.
8/16 Scar: Use the "Georing" Nuremberg defense of flamboyantly defiant performance in the dock, and questioning the legitimacy of the trial, followed by defense of his political administration.
9/16 Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, I would like to take a moment of your time to discuss the ongoing and merciless harassment of my client, the defendant, Captain James Hook.
Captain Hook - a respected gentleman and scholar - has suffered at the hands of this impudent boy for far too long. Mr. Pan has repeatedly and publicly mocked and ridiculed my client, causing extreme personal injury, property damage, and mental and emotional suffering. I am here today to prove that the results of the plaintiff's torment has resulted in Captain Hook being reduced to a mere shell of a man, afraid to even leave his ship, for fear of encountering Peter Pan.
Yes, Peter Pan. Let's discuss his criminal past, shall we? Kidnapping. Theft. Endless charges of assault and battery. Weapons possession. Mr. Pan is potentially a drug addict, and quite possibly a dealer of a substance he refers to as 'pixie dust'. He lives in what can only be referred to as a commune, surrounded by a group of mesmerized boys - boys who fawn over Mr. Pan, who is coincidentally currently being investigated for being the leader of a violent, maniacal cult, I'll have you know. The plaintiff has quite the track record, doesn't he? And yet we are here today, in this courtroom, wasting valuable resources to discuss the charges brought against my client, a retired seaman, and upstanding citizen.
I believe Mr. Pan is wasting the court's valuable time with petty lawsuits, ladies and gentlemen. Throughout your time here, you will be presented with the facts - facts that clearly exonerate my client, Captain James Hook, and throw light onto the seedy criminal undertakings of one, Peter Pan.
When you have heard the testimony of witnesses, experts, and victims of Mr. Pan's antics, you will understand the capacity for violence and cruelty that he tries to hide. I believe he is a sociopath of the most extreme definition, and it is our job to see that my client, Captain Hook, sees justice here today.
10/16 Prince Hans' attempted assassination of Queen Elsa was carried out on behalf of the nation of Arendelle, which would almost certainly have suffered tremendous loss of life and a devastating economic downturn had the winter gone on any longer.
11/16 As Cinderella's guardian it is perfectly within her rights to protest her marriage at such a young age even to royalty. Locking her up was an act of maternal love for her daughter in law as her step sisters were much more ready for such a significant relationship.
12/16 Captain Hook was provoked by Mr. Pan. His hand being fed to a crocodile and forever haunted by the ticking of said crocodile who proceeded to stalk him for years caused an understandable hole in my clients reasoning. Peter Pan and his "lost boys" victimized my clients for years before he finally lashed out in self defense.
13/16 What crime are we talking about here? Mufasa was killed by a stampeding herd of wildebeest. It was a tragedy, and our leader Scar mourned his brother's death before putting his personal pain aside to lead a nation that needed him.
And now his nephew, who mysteriously ran off after his father's death, shows up and accuses him of foul play years later? A kid who has spent his life up until this point shirking all responsibility, living with a couple of deviants, and doing God knows what. This runaway, who has never held down a job mind you, suddenly can't get his fix so he comes home and starts making demands. When his loving uncle, Scar, refuses to just hand over everything and suggests that Simba enter a rehabilitation program all of a sudden he starts throwing around wild accusations.
This case has no merit.
14/16 Emperor Palpatine - As the leader of the galactic empire, (who was given that position by a senatorial vote) the Emperor did nothing illegal in his pursuit to quell a rebellion that on multiple occasions attacked Imperial positions, specifically the destruction of an Imperial space station. For legal precedent see: American response to the bombing of Pearl Harbor.
15/16 Mother Gothel: When is it ok to steal from an elderly woman? Apparently, it's when you are wealthy and powerful! Mother Gothel discovered the "fountain of youth" and it rightfully became her property. The queen gets sick, so the king sends his guards to steal her flower! Mother Gothel wanted to simply "bring back what once was" hers. Do we fault her? She kept Rapunzel fed, groomed, and happy! She had everything a teen could want...anything she asked for! Gothel kept her safe from roughians and thugs. The king and queen should be THANKING her!
16/16 Prince John was the ruling patriarch of England in his brother's absence, and was perfectly within his rights to try and capture and execute a known thief.
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Breaking up is hard to do.
And when you get the law involved, it's even worse. But sometimes people don't need the law's help to make things overcomplicated, they just have a grand ole time making that happen themselves.
People on the front lines of human cruelty include divorce lawyers. These are their stories.