16 People Reveal The Smoothest Thing They've Done That Got Them A Date.
"I totally meant to do that, yep, yep, absolutely."
People on Reddit were asked: "What is the smoothest thing you have ever done that resulted in a date?"
1/16 I was outside a house party one night, smoking a cigarette, when a girl commented, "You shouldn't smoke cigarettes, put that out." I then replied "The only way I'm not smoking this cigarette is if you knock it out of my hand and kiss me." I think you get what happened next.
2/16 Cute girl at a house party walked in on me in the bathroom one time, stammered an apology and scuttled back out. 20 minutes later she walks by me standing in the hallway and goes, "Heh, I saw your penis." I'm normally more subtle in my approach but I was kind of drunk so I just said fuck it and went with, "Wanna see it again?"
Actually worked. Went back to her place an hour later.
3/16 So I was in a coffee shop this morning studying for a midterm. At one point I look up from my table and I see a twenty dollar bill laying at the feet of an attractive blonde making an order. I assumed it was hers since her wallet was open, so I walked over, picked it up and gave it to her. She took a look in her wallet and had all her money accounted for, so she told me it wasn't hers and said something along the lines of 'finders keepers'. So without thinking I handed the twenty to the cashier to pay for her order and walked back to my table. A few moments later, the blonde walked over to thank me and give me the change. I said "I know that normally guys are supposed to introduce themselves first and then take a girl out for coffee, but since I did this all backwards, how would you like to sit down and give me a chance to introduce myself?" She sat down. We talked. I got her phone number AND a date this weekend. In no way could I have scripted it any better.
4/16 I told a guy dressed as a zombie (full makeup) that I'd let him eat my brains. Lucky for me, under all the gore, he turned out to be super hot.
5/16 A buddy who is not a drinker went out on St. Patrick's Day and had his once-in-a-lifetime drunk. We lost him at the bar and he ended up being driven home by a Good Samaritan who picked him up off the sidewalk hours later. We decided to prank him so we looked through the student directory for the most Irish girl's name we could find. Came up with Katy McCarty, faked a note from her with phone number, and jammed it in the pocket of his pants. He finds the note the next day and can't for the life of him remember, but he calls her to try his luck. What we didn't count on was that if she is so Irish, of course she was out drinking on St. Pat's. She can't remember all of her night either but since she gave him her number, she accepts. They went out.
6/16 A few years back, I was walking out of the bar about to jump in a cab and head back to my place. As I'm leaving, this cute (drunk) brunette was just walking in, asked "Where are you going?". I replied with "Going home. Care to join?" She said "Yep, let's go."
Easiest pick up ever.
7/16 One time I had a girl in my car that I really liked and wanted to impress. Now, this was in the late 1980s when CD players in cars were really new. I had a custom installation that worked pretty well, but it had some flaws. In particular, I had to hit the play button whenever I turned on the car. Then the amp wouldn't kick in for about 30 seconds, for some reason. So I was in the habit of hitting the play button ASAP as I turned on the car, so the tunes would start up.
So we get in my car and as usual, I hit the play button as soon as I started the car. But having done this literally hundreds of times, I was very fast and fluid at it, and the girl didn't even notice that I had done it.
So we pull away, driving down Pacific Coast Highway in Southern California along the ocean, as I recall. So the girl says, "Hey, how about some music?"
I knew the amp was just about to kick in. So without even glancing at her, I snapped my fingers in front of the CD player. The timing was perfect. The music immediately started up.
My expression never changed, like I expect magic things to happen at the snap of my fingers all the time. She just stared at the CD player, stared at me, then just shook her head with a little laugh. I felt like the smoothest king of the smooth people.
8/16 I was driving down the road and a car turned into my lane and hit me. We exchanged info quickly, because he was running late for an appointment. Later he called to make arrangements to get an estimate and pay for the minor damage to my car. We ended up talking for two hours and he said, "Don't take this the wrong way, but I'm kinda glad I hit you. Maybe if the estimate is done early enough we can go get lunch afterwards."
9/16 Several years ado, at a party with mutual friends, who introduce me to one of their friends. Started out with the small-talk, same boring questions like where she goes to school, what she does, etc. The conversation was broken up by a text she received. She reached into her bag to get her phone, which led to this:
Me: Ever had phone sex?
Me: Ever had phone sex?
I grab her phone out of her hand.
I take my phone out of my pocket.
Start humping the phones together in various positions.
Her friends are disgusted, but she breaks out into laughter. First and last time I used that line (which I read somewhere) on anyone. Honestly didn't think it would work. Ended up with her number to set up some get-togethers after that.
Fast forward to today. We've been happily married for almost two years now with a baby girl.
10/16 Was walking past a coworker after we got off work and she looked upset. I strolled over and just said "Whoever bailed on you sucks and you should come have a drink with me." I was just trying to lift her spirits. We have been dating about a year now and I'm asking her to marry me in 2 weeks.
11/16 I already had the date, but it was what I unintentionally said that sealed the deal. I mentioned something to the effect of "I like you and I want to see more of you." I meant it innocently, but she took it to mean that I literally wanted to see more of her. Well, that night I certainly did :)
12/16 I always had a good rapport with one of the tellers at the bank I go to. But i didn't want to ask her out in front of the whole staff and embarrass her. So I got my check book, filled out a check and wrote HER name on the "pay to the order of" line. On the amount line I wrote "one moderately priced dinner," and signed my name at the bottom. One day when I happened to get her as my teller, I went through the usual deposits and then she asked "Is there anything else I can do for you?", to which I said "No, thank you," and as I turned away, I stopped and said "Oh, wait, actually, there might be. I have this one other check, but I'm not sure if you can cash it." I handed the check over to her and she looked at it... then looked closer, then turned beet red. After a few seconds, I said "Hey, if you can't cash it, it's no problem." To which she replied "I would love to, but I'm seeing someone right now, otherwise I totally would." I said "Maybe next time" and left.
But as it turned out, she and her female co workers had been talking about me for some time, and they had been telling her she should ask me out. So it came as quite a shock to her when I moved first. Months later after her relationship went sour, we went out, and have been dating for 6 months now.
13/16 I was working at a club and I was walking towards the bar when I made eye contact with a gorgeous girl. I was about to take a drink from my glass and when it slipped out of my hand. I picked it up and walked over to her and didn't slam the glass down but I set it down with a little force and said "You owe me a drink". She said "Why?" and I said "Because when I saw you, I dropped mine." Instant smile and flirty hair flick, did more than get her number.
14/16 My friends and I had been hopping around LA all day to BBQs, bars etc. One of my friends kept ordering this drink everywhere we went: pineapple vodka. I asked him why the hell he was ordering such a Gina drink. He proceeds to tell me how the pineapple juice makes you man seed taste amazing and that women love to swallow when you've been drinking it. Anyhow, I start ordering this everywhere. Finally we end up in this bar in Silverlake, dancing like white people. This attractive blonde is dancing next to me, we start dancing get a little flirty, etc. Twenty minutes later I said I am going to get a drink. Come back with my juicy vodka and her beer. She looks at me and asks why the hell am I drinking a pineapple vodka. I pause for a couple seconds and say:
"Well if you want the truth, my friend told me the pineapple juice makes my jizz taste better." She just stares at me for what seemed like forever. I thought I blew it. Finally she grabs me by the elbow and says: "Do you want to go find out?" And yes we most certainly did find out.
15/16 I was just fooling around with a girl who was a little shy. She covered her face and I asked her what she was doing. She whispered "Hiding, what are you doing?" I responded "Seeking." She melted. Probably the smoothest thing I've said and will say.
16/16 Was round a friend's flat with a group of people having a drink and liked the housemate. He walked in just to introduce himself and then said "I'm off to bed". I said "You should come to my bed instead".
People sat there in a stunned silence, he took a minute or so to pull his jaw off the floor and went, "I'll be two minutes I'll get my shoes". Ended in a relationship, he was cool.
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It's hard working in customer service, especially with irate customers. You need to be able to empathize and understand where your customers are coming from, show sympathy, and be willing to help them with their problem. However, if they come at you ranting and raving about an issue which clearly has nothing to do with you, well, then you're free to rant about them on the internet.