17 Brave Souls Share Their Most Embarrassing Moments In A Doctor's Office. What's Up Doc?
We usually save the more intimate details of our body for our closest friends, family members, and partners. But then there is an entire class of people, who we may hardly know, that have access to what's going on under the hood, so to speak.
Doctor's often come to know our biggest secrets, and, sometimes, we create new memories which we hope will never see the light of day. Fortunately, seventeen people decided to share some of the most embarrassing things that have happened in their doctor's office.
Many thanks to Reddit user JustHavinAGoodTime for posing this amazing question. You can find more answers from the source at the end of this article.
1/17. Had a routine smear (pap) test as a student, I hadn't slept the night before as I'd been partying hard and was still not quite with it.
The male doctor hadn't performed a smear before and for some reason a nurse was called in to witness the procedure. Predictably the doc had trouble finding my cervix and the nurse told me to roll my hips up. The doctor was getting more and more nervy so to break the ice I started singing "rolling rolling rolling, keep those doggies movin, rawhide" (it made sense at the time)
Then I started to laugh uncontrollably at my own joke which caused the speculum to shoot out of my hooha and knock his glasses off.
The lab results were inconclusive.
2/17. When I was 7 my doctor told me to drop my pants (you know, the 'ole hernia check). I ran out and screamed to my mom that the doctor was crazy and wanted to see my penis. I specifically remember screaming "Mom, get your coat! This guy is crazy!"
3/17. When I was a kid (like 8 or 9), I had to get a routine physical to participate in sports at school. My Dad took me. Everything went great until the doctor told my Dad he needed to get a urine sample. My Dad hands me the cup and tells me to go to the bathroom in the cup and bring it back to him.
I, being a bit naive, did not know what urine was so I went into the bathroom and promptly sh*t in the cup. My Dad was waiting for me near the front desk of the doctor's office since we were leaving after turning in the cup. I proudly walked up, handed the cup to my Dad and said "Is this enough or should I go back and scoop up some more from the bowl?".
The nurse at the desk looks up and nearly spit her coffee all over my Dad. He set the cup on the desk and said "We are leaving now". I didn't understand what was wrong until that night when my Mom came into explain my mistake.
4/17. I arrived at my doctor's office for a routine physical and everything was going fine. My previous conditions had all gone away and we were wrapping up when my doctor (female by the way, I am male) told me that she was "Going to need to check me for an enema." She turned away for a moment to put on some gloves as she did so I stood up, took off my pants, and bent over.
I misheard her. One does not "check" for an enema. One checks for a hernia.
The moment she turned around I heard "Oh sweet Jesus, what?!" and I immediately realized my mistake. I quickly turned around to see my now bright-red doctor flushing over the completely unprecedented sight of my anus pointed in her direction. I began to apologize profusely and what followed can only be described as an extremely awkward check for testicular cancer and a hasty departure on her part. Needless to say I, too, got out of there as quickly as possible.
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5/17. Happened to a co-worker
He wanted to get a vasectomytwo guys in the office had recommended a doctor they had used. To have some fun, they tell him that during the first consultation, hell have to jizz into a cup for testing purposes.
Upon his arrival at the doctors office he speaks to the front desk nurse. After the paperwork, she hands him a cup, tells him to fill to the line, cap it and leave it on the sink. The cup was the size a tumbler glass and line was way at the top.
This guy goes in, thinking he needs to jizzsees no inspirational material but figures he can just wing it from memory. After about 10 minutes, nurse knocks on the door, asks if everything is OK.
Embarrassed about his output compared to the goal, he shows her the cup with the meager contribution and asks how the other guys filled to the line.
The nurse bursts out laughing and in between trying to catch her breath, tells him he was supposed to pee in the cup.
After cleaning up, he had to go wait out in the waiting room with a large glass of water. He sat there about 30 minutes before doing a proper test and seeing the doctor. He said it was the longest 30 minutes of his life because within 5 minutes not a single nurse could keep a straight face.
6/17. This happened to a friend's mother:
She was trying out a new OB/GYN. Post-examination, she was given a cup and directed to supply the office with a urine sample. Upon arriving at the bathroom, she saw that it had no door!
Friend's mom just assumed that this new, free-wheeling OB/GYN office didn't have bathroom doors and all the patients did their business in the light. So, nervously, she proceeded to create/collect the sample as people walked by in the hallway outside. I imagine they pretended not to notice or gave her strange looks, but it wasn't until she was leaving the bathroom that she noticed the fully retracted sliding door.
7/17. This is gross, btw.
So, I went to the doctor because I was noticing an odor on my undies when I would change. Having a normally healthy vagina area this kind of alarmed me, so I went to the walk in clinic to see what was up.
In retrospect, I should have gone to a gyno, but I actually thought I had some sort of UTI, not a vaginal problem.
Anyway, I described the symptoms to the doctor, and she decides to do a vaginal exam. Okay, fine.
Well, she sticks the thing up me, and realizes that there is a tampon stuck up in me. It takes a bit of moving around, she ends up getting the retained tampon. I don't want to gross you out, but I'm not exaggerating when I say that the entire room smelled when she took that out of me. I was horrified. I was nearly gagging, I can only imagine how she felt.
She put it in the trash, and immediately took the trash out.
It gets worse...
So, then she decides to take a look to make sure everything looked okay. Well, it didn't. I hear her say, 'There is something else up there. Maybe another tampon?'.
I was absolutely f***ing horrified. After further prying around, she was able to figure out it wasn't a tampon, but it was something blue, and it was hard. She sent me over for an X-ray to confirm. Sure enough, I had something else in me...
She tried to get it out with the pliers again, but it hurt too much for me to bear. She ended up having to sedate me, and had a male doctor come in and try. Eventually they were able to get it out. It looked like a little blue cap, and they obviously asked me what it was, and at the time I was dumbfounded for what it could be. I looked like a f***ing moron.
I had to call into work, because I had been sedated, and I had to call my dad and have him pick me up from the walk in.
It was honestly the most embarrassing experience of my life.
I realized a few days later what the blue cap was. One night when I was drunk at my friends house I had thought I had a yeast infection. I remember using monostat, and having never used it before I didn't know you were supposed to take the cap off. Go figure.
I still get embarrassed to this day thinking about the looks that I was getting on my way into the x-ray room. The doctor had obviously told the staff what was going on, and they were all staring at me like I had a vagina full of various items. Like, 'oh I wonder what we will pull out of her next!'
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8/17. I had a pizza delivery guy walk in on me while I was getting a pelvic exam at the OB/GYN. My feet were up in the stirrups, my doctor's hand was in my vag...yeah, the whole bit. Apparently the nurses had ordered a pizza and directed the guy to bring it to the break room, but he opened the wrong door. You'd think at an OB/GYN you'd at least knock before entering any closed rooms, right? Yeah, no. He couldn't have seen anything, though, and I'm pretty sure he was more embarrassed than I was. Still sounds like the plot to a bad porno.
9/17. It was a little awkward getting my vasectomy when the sixty-something nurse told me she needed to shave my balls, saw that they were already shaved, and complimented me on my ball-shaving skills while rubbing betadine all over them.
Doing the sperm test afterwards is a little on the weird side too. You go to the lab desk, ask for a specimen container, go into the bathroom, and then come out and hand them the full container while you both pretend not to know you were touching yourself twenty feet away.
10/17. My doctor is a family friend. This is an incredibly awkward relationship. One day she's all like, "drop your pants, lets see that penis", the next day she's like, "Pass the peas".
11/17. Thankfully this was only slightly insulting, not horrifying. When I was maybe 18, I went into the doctor because I was experiencing some extreme nausea, among other things. He kept asking me if I could be pregnant, over and over.
"So, uh, could you possibly be pregnant? Maybe we should run a pregnancy test."
"Pretty positive I'm not."
"When was the last time you had sexual intercourse?"
"NEVER?!" At this point he's suddenly whipped around to face me from his clipboard. "Oh, hah, wow, that simplifies things a lot."
12/17. Probably not the most embarrassing, but this happened recently.
The last time I was at my doctor's office I was kept waiting in the exam room for a really long time. Like long enough to go through all three magazines in the room. Eventually severe boredom set in and I started looking for other things to do.
There was a scale in the corner, so I thought what the hell lets weigh some shit. I started with my shoes, and eventually moved on to the magazines and my clothes. When I ran out of personal stuff, I surveyed the room and decided that I would like to know how much a chair weighs, so on the scale it went.
This is the exact moment the doctor and her resident decide to enter the room. There I am wearing nothing but a hospital gown and socks balancing a chair on the scale...
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13/17. I went to the hospital when I was as teenager and my doctor was rather attractive. She had to check me for testicular cancer. The room was curtained off and my parents were waiting right on the other side, in earshot.
She was looking away when I pulled my pants down and she said, "Oh my god," in an annoyed voice when she turned to find my junk out. I thought I had done something wrong and said sorry. As it turned out, my pork and beans hadn't been what had annoyed her, it was that her beeper had gone off (I guess she had been extremely busy).
The story isn't too embarrassing at face value, until you realize my parents could hear but not see this short exchange. I don't want to imagine what they thought caused a pubescent teenager to have to apologize to a hot doctor examining his testicles.
14/17. When I was studying to become a dentist I was following a doctor in the ER a couple of weekends as part of my education in general medicine. Well, one late saturday a young girl, around 18 I think, comes in with her parents because of severe stomach pains. The doctor asks a few questions and then asks the girl to take off her pants and lay down on her side. The doc then puts on a glove and shoves a finger up the girl's ass. I had seen this before, standard procedure, but never with a cute girl as the receiver. So I was already a bit embarassed when the father turns to me and asks me how many years I've got left until I'm a doctor. "Well umm.. I'm actually studying to become a dentist." Really made me feel I was at the wrong end of things.
15/17. When I was pretty young(around 12 or 13 I think) I had some weird stomach issues going on. They found some odd results with an X-Ray and told me they wanted to do something called a "Berian Enema"(?).
So I go into this room, and they tell me they're going to put a hose in my butt and fill my intestines with a milky liquid. I looked terrified, and my doctor asked me what was wrong. I told him it sounded painful but that I was also very ticklish. He told me not to worry about it - it wasn't that bad.
So a female doctor starts to shove this thing in 13 year old me's butt and I started giggling. And then laughing. And then crying.
16/17. I attempted chemical hair removal for the first time the day before my appointment with the gynecologist. Her response: "And that is chemical burn."
17/17. I was at the doctor's office and he was checking my plumbing for any irregularities.
I have no idea why I thought it was appropriate to say this, but I said, "you should teach my girlfriend how to handle a scrotum." Maybe I thought using the scientific term made it okay.
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There comes a time in our lives when we have to cut people out because of their toxic, negative, or destructive behavior. And there's no shame in doing it - tolerance and acceptance can only go so far, and there is always a last straw.
The785 asked: What was the incident that made you cut somebody close out of your life?
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