Sex Workers Reveal The One Client They Had A Real Connection With.
Sex workers, exotic dancers, and escorts of Reddit were asked: "Have you ever had a real 'connection' with a customer? What happened in the scenario?" These are some of the best answers.
1/17 High-end escort here. I generally have amazing relationships with all of my regular clients, but have fallen for two.
With one, we have the most amazing sex. We share similar sexual proclivities and seem to connect in a way I don't connect with other clients. We've recently started seeing each other outside of work (my suggestion).
As much as I am in love with what I do, it can be sort of lonely. You give a lot of yourself and it can be mentally and emotionally exhausting, so sometimes it can be nice to connect with someone outside of work. There's still no commitment, but it can be a little bit more about you, and not be all about them.
2/17 I was a stripper for 5 years only once did I fall for someone. It was in my last year, his name was Matt, adorable tattooed and easy to talk to. Danced for him a handful of times kissed him a handful of times, nothing further ever happened. He gave me his address to come over for his birthday after we have been talking for about 6 months that would have been my first time hanging out with him outside of the strip club. As soon as I pull into his apartment complex he calls and tells me he didn't feel well. So I left went to the store bought him some soup and came back to give it to him. Knock on the door and his wife answers.... I stopped dancing that week.
3/17 I was a stripper in Seattle I the 90's and went up to Alaska on contract to a small couple of clubs there. I worked in Fairbanks at a little dive club on Old Airport Way. Because I was in from Seattle I was one of the "Featured Dancers". I was on stage one night, dancing to something dark and fast and just as I finished a pole trick I noticed him. When I came off the stage we talked and talked and left the club shortly after. My manager was worried about me taking off, I lied and said that we knew each other and he retorted "Alaska is 2.5 times the size of Texas you better home he doesn't plan on killing you because it is likely no one will ever find you." Well he did not do anything like that. In fact we have been married now for 16 years, we have 3 children and this next October will mark the 20th year since we met and I love him more than I ever have each day.
My DH "made it rain" before it was a thing. He was with me though another year of stripping but when I was done he supported me. He was by my side when I had problems with intimacy because stripping made it easy for me to compartmentalize my sexuality and hard to let it loose with him, the person I LOVE.
I have since gone back to school and obtained a degree and have a good job in management of a medical facility.
4/17 Long time stripper here. Only once, many years ago. We dated for about 6 months, normal relationship, broke up amicably. We're still friends.
Sorry the story isn't more sordid but to be completely honest, we don't even look at customers as people, really. When they leave the club, they cease to exist. Of course I treat them nicely, but really I'm not invested in them so they don't matter to me.
5/17 I was an escort for 5 months. The plan was to do it for a year, save a ton of money, and then start my own business (non-sex-related).
I met a client for a 2 hour date one afternoon and the connection was instant and momentous. I felt really bad about taking his money at the end of it. That was last October, and we've been together ever since. We live together now and I cannot imagine being more in love or more compatible with someone. I quit escorting last March for his sake - never looking back.
Oh, and I did manage to start my own business. Yay!
6/17 I'm a part time cam model. I had a guy come in a lot who was very nice, tipped me well and would often act as a mod when I had a full room. He was always very complimentary and not at all creepy so I got his contact info and would text him when I was online and needed help in the room.
We would occasionally text back and forth and we became what I would consider casual "work" friends, although he still didn't know my real name. At one point I was out of state visiting some college friends and we discovered that we were about an hour away from each other. He didn't ask, but he hinted that he'd like to meet me, so I said what the hell and met him at a bar. I assumed that he would want to have sex with me, something that I was not interested in but I figured I could let him down easy and still be friendly. He had helped me make a lot of money over the months without ever asking or accepting a cut, even when offered so I figured the least I could do is buy him a drink.
We ended up having a wonderful time, he was very charming and witty and kind. Despite being older than me he was sort of handsome, and I probably would have ended up going home with him had he brought it up but he didn't. At the end of the night he just said that he had a great time and he thanked me for wasting a night with him.
When I said that I didn't feel it was a waste he kind of waved me off and said that he knew men who looked like me didn't like men who looked like him. I was kind of stunned, I mean he was a perfectly good looking, if older and slightly heavy, man. I guess on the scale of superficiality I would be conventionally attractive, but I'm not a male model or anything. I never saw him again and he never responded to any of my texts again. But a few weeks later I had a guy start coming in that I think is him with a different screen name. I don't know for sure, it's just the phrasing of what he says, the things that get him worked up and stuff all kind of match, but I think he's embarrassed or something.
That's the one and only time that I've met up with someone who watched me on cam. It ended up making me feel pretty badly about myself and I really haven't been able to work out why. It's better if I don't get too close.
7/17 Former stripper here. The one time I did have a connection with a guy he was the most intelligent one there, just sitting at the bar waiting for his friends to be done with their tomfoolery. I wanted to ask him for his number quite badly but I felt kinda scummy and never did. Still wish I would have, we had a great long conversation and I felt like it could have grown into something more. Eh, you win some, you lose some. It's not like I was there to find a man, I was there to work.
8/17 Former stripper here. I had a lot of clients that I enjoyed as people but one in particular that I ended up giving my number to. I was in a long term abusive relationship at the time and having someone talk to me sweetly and respectfully went a long way. Eventually he invited me to a wedding in Vegas and we had one of the most romantic weekends of my life. We kept in touch but he lived very far away and became more friends over time. We were very different people but our connection helped us both move on to healthier relationships and expectations of love. I didn't fall for him but consider it an important experience and I know he does too.
9/17 I was an escort for over a year and been a stripper for 2.
As a stripper I did fall in love with a customer once, but I would have fallen for him anywhere. And...thats pretty much the rule of thumb...if I'd go home with you from a regular bar I'll go home with you from a strip club. My stage name doesn't come with an alter ego with her own sexual and intellectual preferences. I wantz wud I wantz. HOWEVER, as an escort I never took my clients seriously enough to connect with them. I'm a hypocrite, whatever.
10/17 Yes and the agency I worked for took a dim view of it. Actually the relationship itself didn't last that long, for various reasons. That was down largely to the awkwardness of the situation.
When it ended, a condition of me continuing to work at the agency was that I persuaded him to continue as a client. We actually stayed on pretty good terms, and we were last in contact a few months back on Facebook.
11/17 I was a pro-submissive, the opposite of a dominatrix. I charged large amounts of money to men who wanted to tie me up and spank me around a bit. I met him during the first few months of doing this sort of work, we emailed back and forth quite a bit, he seemed nervous. In fact, he said the only reason he contacted me was that the other girls didn't text or email.
I had a session with him at his house, and after clearing up a bit of confusion [No, YOU spank ME] we had a lovely time, in which his cat stepped on my head while I was bent over the bed. We had a few other sessions, and then I agreed to a date on my 21st birthday.
We've been together 6 years, and married for 4 months.
12/17 Female prostitute here. He paid for the hour, I was an amateur to the job and was a little lost with everything and lacking a bit of confidence. He could tell I was new and we had a bit of a laugh. He then asked me the clich "why are you here? You can do better. Why are you doing this?" talk. We ended up just laying there, talking, with his [penis] out, my hand on it at first until he moved it off and said he just wanted to lay with me. Was a bit awkward and strange at first but I felt comfortable around him after a while. I wasn't meant to give out my number by policy but I did. We met up a few times afterward and got pretty deep into each other emotionally. Still no sex or talk of sex We didn't last too long though
13/17 There were a few customers who came in that I became pretty solid friends with, however while I was dancing I was already in a somewhat committed D/s relationship so it was hard to have real connections.
There was one guy who I stayed in touch with well after changing occupations and we were close until he told me that he decided to not divorce his wife for the sake of his children. So that ended.
Another almost romantic connection I had during the time was an illicit affair that I was having behind my then owner's back. It had to end for obvious reasons and we were both very heartbroken. We never got a chance to love each other the way we had hoped.
Such is life.
14/17 I had been working as a mid-range hooker for a few months, and he was an adult photographer. He offered to take some photos of me for my web presence, and I agreed. No money changed hands, I emphasize, but he knew me by my, um, hooker name. I met him the first time in a cafe; he put me at my ease immediately. I didn't even think of being attracted to him at that point, but I knew I was looking forward to going to his house/studio for a naked photoshoot far more than was polite.
At the shoot, I was nervous as all hell, of course, but he did his best to put me at ease: we drank wine and chatted, both before and during. Honestly, it was like one of the best first dates I've ever had. Aside from the fact that I was in various stages of undress, it was pretty much idyllic. We made each other laugh, we flirted a little - but not too much, I should add, nothing creepy from his point of view - we shared interests, histories, traded funny stories...Three hours flew by before I realized I had to go.
I didn't think I'd ever see him again. I felt oddly...hollow about it, and as the next couple of days passed I realized that what I'd felt for him was a rush of white-hot attraction, really; I hadn't recognized it for what it was due to the weirdness of the situation. I told myself that it was just my body reacting oddly to the unusual situation of naked-photoshoot-with-sweet-funny-man.
But eventually I decided there was more, though I still thought it was just physical at that point. I texted him to ask if he wanted to hook up, and he said yes. We set up basically a booty call for the next weekend. I was nervous, surprisingly so - more nervous than I had been for ages; more nervous than I had been before the naked photoshoot! But the day came and I couldn't back out, and besides when I saw him again I didn't want to.
We had sex. Wonderful sex. Afterwards, as I lay, breathless and sated, in his arms while he nuzzled my neck gently, I murmured - "Do you want to know my real name?" That was six months ago. We're still together. He was the best mistake I ever made :)
15/17 I had one. He still to this day is stalking me & trying to "fix things".
We were very casually seeing each other for like 3 months. A year later he is still obsessed with me. I suppose it's what you expect from a guy who consistently goes to strip clubs. Can't make any friends, so he pays girls to talk to him.
16/17 One of my clients was an older gent, who understood my Latin jokes. He was super nice and we chatted heaps, he saw me every time I worked. He wanted to take me away on a conference he was attending, but I stopped work to spend more time with my SO and I never saw him again.
17/17 I'm a gay escort and in my experience comparatively speaking we're less stigmatized by the gay community than female escorts are by the population at large - as a result there's less of a brick wall there in terms of relationships potentially forming, but I'd say it was still a really stupid idea.
I've fallen for a few guys in the sense that it went beyond thinking they were attractive to the point that I would've said yes if they'd asked me out as a boyfriend, guys whose personalities I really liked or who were genuinely great people.
Contrary to what stereotype might dictate, it had very little to do with their wealth - I'm from the UK where being gay isn't as stigmatized as it is elsewhere, so the whole stereotype of the politician and his rentboy has faded a bit. A lot of gay guys hire not because they're particularly ugly or can't get any but because they live in the middle of nowhere and don't know any LGBT people, or live in cities but find gay club culture intimidating. As a result you get a bit more of a cross-section of normal society rather than the unloveable fringes.
One of the guys I was into most was really into the boyfriend experience and just wanted to hang out, go to restaurants, watch TV or game. Those clients are either the best or the worst, because so much depends on their personality - either you have a great time and it flies by, or you're counting the minutes trying to look enthused. I basically just clicked with this guy and thought he was really funny, kind, a bit socially awkward but then that's probably why he wasn't into the gay scene as much. He was a client for over four years before moving away (and actually apologized to me for moving, which I have to say is a first).
Another was an older guy who lived far out from London (where I work) - originally he hired me in London but after that he'd pay for me to come by taxi to bloody Hertfordshire, which is an expensive taxi ride, for the uninitiated. I was reasonably new to sex work and so I got a bit besotted by the whole romantic spiel until one of my friends in the industry sort of went "this is going to happen but you need to step back because it's not something to pin hope on", and of course they were right - this guy was a regular and pleasant client for a long time but eventually one who moved on.
The truth is that as a sex worker, especially with full-sex service at a higher end, which is what I do, you're fulfilling some kind of fantasy or dream and everything is on their terms. That's not a dynamic that translates well to a relationship, even with a guy who's otherwise charming and kind and funny. They get used to having you on their time, catering the entire time to their needs and desires. Once you're in a real relationship, you're going to have days where you're annoyed or upset or unhappy, when you're not "on the clock" for them but just being a person. I'm not saying the transition never successfully happens but I'd say it's very rare, even the nice ones are seeing you at work, at your best. That's not necessarily deceit so much as it is customer service.
Breaking up is hard to do.
And when you get the law involved, it's even worse. But sometimes people don't need the law's help to make things overcomplicated, they just have a grand ole time making that happen themselves.
People on the front lines of human cruelty include divorce lawyers. These are their stories.