18 People Share Their Most Embarrassing Sexual Experience.
Everybody has their embarrassing sexual stories, and some of them are absolutely jaw-dropping.
Below are 18 stories of the most mortifying sexual experiences people have had. Check them out!
1. Just wanted a cup of tea.
My boyfriend was going down on me in the lounge room and his mum walked it, screamed, turned around and hit her head on door, then proceeded to say, "I just wanted to make myself a cup of tea"
2. Plot twist!
I was young and at a girlfriend's house and we decided to try a new position. Everything was great until she was just dismounting when it went wrong. Her bedroom door swung open and in walked her mum!
I remember making eye contact with her mother through the triangle made by my pelvis and the girls thighs!
The look of shock on her face was unbelievable and probably mirrored my own. My girlfriend screamed for her to get out which she hastily did before calling through the closed door in a very angry tone, 'Why isn't he even wearing a condom?' Mortified. I'd like to add that I once bumped into the mother about 10 years later in a bar. She bought me a drink and invited me back to her house. I politely declined.
3. Oh that's not good.
I decided to spend the night with my girlfriend in a hotel. The only simple thing I had to do was to call my mother on the phone and tell her that I was going to stay with a friend from school. So there was me and my girl, we were driving to the nearest hotel, I tell her to...(Continued)
Not make any noise and then call my mother, I ask her if I can stay with my friend and she says yes then I put the phone aside.
So now once again my girl and I start talking about all the dirty things we are going to do to each other, like how we are going to use our mouth on certain parts of the other's body and so many other things I have blocked in my mind by now.
We keep talking like that for at least 5 or 6 more minutes until I realize that my cell phone (an old Nokia 5120) had this light screen on, which meant that I never hung up the call! THE HORROR, THE HORROR! So as you can imagine, my mother was still there, listening every word we said, and the plan of me staying with her had to be postponed after that. It is definitely one of my most embarrassing moments ever.
4. Smooth moves.
In college, after a rather spirited, fun-filled session with my then girlfriend, I rolled off her and jumped to my feet. I began to jump on the end of the bed, proclaiming, 'I am the king of the orgasm!' Jumped too hard, broke the end of the bed, launching myself backwards into the chest of drawers, almost knocking myself out. Didn't feel too royal after that.
5. I can't even imagine...
At 2AM, my college dorm roommate disappeared to the bathroom. He was gone for quite a long time; must have been taking a crap. Well, that gave me a window to start jacking off. But I knew I was on the clock, and would have to be extra aggressive in the beating off to get the semen out before he was back from his dump. So I went at it rough, making all kinds of groans, and I finished all over the place. I never left the bed. There was no time for Kleenex. There might have been stuff on the floor and walls. But I got it done. My roommate comes back to the room. He opens the door. He looks at me. I look at him. I was in the clear. All the sudden, his girlfriend...(Continued)
Girlfriend pops up in the bed! I had jacked off like an animal with his girlfriend maybe a few feet away from me in this dorm room. She never said a word about it.
6. Get back in your box!
I once had a cat that had a real sense of humor. My boyfriend was going down on me, and suddenly all 20 pounds of this cat landed on my stomach, he flopped down and made himself comfortable, and then reached down and booped my boyfriend on the nose.
7. Pep talk, go!
When I was in the army I was set up with a girl named Suzanne by a friend of mine. I guess this will always be my record for fastest sex because within about 2 minutes of walking in her house we are having sex. We barely even said hello to each other, just started doing it. The first day went swimmingly and I had no problems whatsoever but unfortunately when I went back a few days later for round two the witness no longer wanted to cooperate and well it got kind of embarrassing.
That by itself has happened to me before as it happens to the best of us and wasn't even the worst part, I can deal with that. The worst part was after I tried to get it up X number of times this girl starts actually cheering me on as in giving me a pep talk and clapping her hands. 'Come on you can do it, come on baby you can get that up, come on.' And on top of everything else she said it in kind of a baby voice like you'd talk to a little kid. If you guessed that that was the last time I ever saw this girl than wow, you are very smart.
8. Someone fix that car!
I was in the 7th grade when my parents went to a party with their friends. I invited a classmate (girl) to my house, in order to impress her with my vinyl collection. But my parent's car had...(Continued)
Had some problems on the road so they came back. I remember now that we were in the 69 position, with 'Alphaville - Sounds Like a Melody' on in the background when the light turned on. I was so excited at the time that I did not even realize that the light did not turn on by itself. It was my classmate who stopped what we were doing and I was wondering why.
Well, my mother was in the room, very shocked, and my father was behind her trying to convince her to leave us alone to dress. I accompanied my classmate to her house and when I came back, my parents were waiting for me to talk. My mother had only one problem: how can I be so perverted? I told her that I saw the 69 position in some movies. 'What movies?!' she asked me. I told her very shy, 'Those movies that you and dad hide in living room, in the left closet.
9. Most memorable indeed.
Me and my then girlfriend had known each other for a good while and frequently teased about having sex. It wasn't easy to have the opportunity for it, but alas, at last we could. After a bit of foreplay and with all clothes on the ground, it was finally the moment to have sex for the first time. But then, I couldn't find the hole. It was both our first times, and we had no idea (or at least I had no idea) how to insert myself in her.
I struggled with the positions, moving around to see what works. All the while she told me to go higher or lower or even tried to help me aim, I could only try poking around to no avail. It was like trying to unlock a door with a carrot. When the next ice age arrived, I finally got in! Her eyes clenched, gasped in some air, and it was the moment to enjoy this intimate time together! Then I finished in like, twenty seconds or something.
10. Good riddance!
The most embarrassing sexual moment that I experienced wasn't planned. My last (and FINAL) ex wife were staying at her daughter's overnight. We were very sexually active at any random time. We were getting it on in the morning when her two granddaughters burst into the room. Now, I'm one of those guys who is repulsed by connecting the two things: sex & children. I immediately lost my erection like a pierced balloon. LMFAO. My ex, on the other hand wanted to keep going. We had a discussion about that later and, her attitude toward my repulsion of sex + children led to our parting as she belittled me for it. When I left, I never looked back.
11. Most awkward award goes to:
"I was 17 and hanging out at my girlfriend's house. As far as we knew we were alone while spooning on her bed, but the next moment we hear footsteps right outside her door and the knob starts to turn. We barely pull the covers up in time right as her dad and 7 year old sister walk in to say hi. Luckily we still had our shirts on, but we were sweaty, breathing heavily and awkwardly trying to act like we weren't surprised. Her dad knew something was off, but her sister was clueless and jumped onto the bed to join the 'snuggles.' I figured that might be a good time to pull out (remember we were spooning).
In hindsight it was probably a blessing my girlfriend's 7 year old sister was there. That might've been what saved me since I think her dad was more concerned with preserving his younger daughter's innocence then figuring out what his older daughter was up to. He quickly pulled my girlfriend's sister off the bed and said: (Continued)
'We're gunna make dinner soon. Come on down when you're ready.' Her parents never mentioned anything, but needless to say we were more cautious after that.
12. This is a lot.
Unwittingly had oral sex in front of her entire family, including her brother and both sets of grandparents.
This happened many moons ago, when I was 17 and my girlfriend was also 17. I used to spend a lot of time at her house during our senior year of high school and got along very well with her parents. She had your typical suburban family: mother, father, 13 year old brother and 2 sets of grandparents. Her parents were very middle of the road and obviously knew what we did when they weren't home, but sleeping over was out of the question; save for one time I got snowed in and spent the night in her basement. She lived in a fairly large older house that had these really thick lath and plaster walls, which provided excellent sound insulation. Normally this would be of great use to a 17 year old couple, but this blessing turned into a curse.
Every Saturday her family and I would go out to this awesome Chinese restaurant for dinner. This was almost always a 2 hour affair that usually concluded at an ice cream parlor next to the restaurant. This particular Saturday however, we decided to skip the usual festivities and 'study' for our upcoming finals. Thinking we had a good 2 hours to kill, we head up to her bedroom and begin 'studying.' The layout of her house was such that her bedroom had 2 windows facing the front, toward the walkway and street. It was unusually warm for this time of year and the central AC was still off so we opened the windows in her room. Long story short, her parents and brother met up with her grandparents at the Chinese restaurant. They had a few drinks but decided to barbecue instead because it was so nice out. Unbeknownst to me, my girlfriend locked the deadbolt to the front door. Her entire family, 4 grandparents and all, were standing there ringing the doorbell for 10 minutes. Because the front door is literally right underneath her bedroom, and the windows were wide open, they were forced to listen to our 'study' session the entire time. Apparently it had gotten so bad that her father tried to break into the house through the rear sliding door. Needless to say, my relationship with her family was never quite the same after that"
13. Ouch, mean.
Sex was the thing to do (no pun intended) in my town. Unfortunately, the first two times I had sex almost turned me away from it completely in sheer embarrassment. One important thing to note is that I was a little underdeveloped for my age. I was a late bloomer. In other words, I was really small. Here goes nothing: The first time I had 'sex' was with a girl in the back of a car while we were waiting for our carpool. We made out and grinded for a few minutes beforehand. Apparently it was enough to really get me going, as when I took it out of my pants, it started cumming almost immediately. It was so embarrassing. I cleaned up with napkins and she spent the whole time saying how I was 'fine' and how it 'happens to everyone.' I knew it didn't.
To try to prove myself again, I hooked up with a chick about a month later. I made sure that my first accident didn't happen again, but something worse did. When I inserted myself into her, she said, 'Common, I'm done with foreplay baby. Put it in!' I was broken for a good 2 years.
14. Get out of there!
I was getting a blowjob from my girlfriend in my bedroom. Whenever I heard footsteps near my door, she'd lift her head up quickly, I'd cover myself with the blanket, and we'd pretend nothing was happening (just in case my mom or dad entered my room at a moment's notice). After about 5 or 6 false alarms, we kept going and I was getting ready to finish. Suddenly, we heard footsteps coming down the hall toward my room, but this time I was too close to finishing that I told her not to stop. I took the gamble that it was another false alarm. I was wrong.
My mom entered my room to deliver some folded laundry. As the doorknob turned, my girlfriend lifted her head quickly (her face quite flustered and teary eyed) and we quickly pulled up the covers, as usual. My mom didn't actually see anything, however, as she entered the room, staring at the both of us, I was climaxing under the blanket. It was clear something was going on. My mom was speechless. She placed the clothes on my bed and exited the room. Awkward!
15. NO GRANDMA!!
My grandmother (apparently) watched me having sex. I'd just gotten married to my first wife. After getting married, we drove on our honeymoon upstate and headed for Niagara Falls (because what could be more romantic than Canada, right?). Halfway there, instead of stopping at a hotel for the night, I had arranged to sleep at my grandmother's house, just outside of Chicago. It's a rather big house but only she lives there now, so... why not?
Once we got there, however, my grandma announced that it was my honeymoon, and she wanted to leave the home for the night just in case we '...wanted to have sex anywhere in the house we liked.' Yeah... that's not creepy. So she left. But I've got a lot of history in this house, so I'm quite content to keep the nookie in the bedroom. So we did (at least twice) and then went to sleep.
When I woke up in the morning, I opened the bedroom door and, oh my! There was my grandmother! Sitting on a rocking chair QUITE LITERALLY outside my door. I was mostly dressed, but still shocked. She looked at me and smiled, and then winked at me. '...it's okay. I didn't hear anything outside the bedroom... either time, nor did I see anything through the keyhole.'
16. So many thoughts.
This happened during my first and only male male female threesome.
Some background: the girl was hot and a flight attendant by profession. Her boyfriend was tall, handsome and a pilot at the same airline. I met the girl online and after loads of chats she invited me for a session with both of them. So we met at a hotel. Everything was going fine and we decided to roleplay. Her being the mistress and we as the slaves. She ordered us to go the bedroom and get naked, so we obediently went inside the room and undressed ourselves, while she was changing in the bathroom into a sexy skimpy dress.
Here comes the embarrassing part. For the first time ever I was naked in room with a guy. On top of that, This guy had a huge tool, must have been at least 10 inches, and mine was a humble 6 point something. Though, I never had doubts about my size or skills, I was somewhat nervous. And she was taking a bit of time. So we stood in silence and eventually lost our erections (obviously!!!). Then suddenly I realized that he had erection again. We shared an awkward smile. Fortunately, she came and whole things started. Standing naked with a guy bigger than me, without any mutual attraction was one of the most embarrassing moment for me.
17. The layers of this story...
I was just exploring parts of my body that were seemingly 'evolving.' At that time I haven't yet experienced an 'orgasm,' but I was able to get an erection. Watching porn videos at that time, I tried emulating the guys and tried to wank my way to my first orgasm but it didn't happen, don't know how I didn't get it right then.
So one day I went to my friend's house party. Too much liquor, and we did a lot of crazy stuff. I do remember telling my close group of friends (guys and girls) that I was yet to experience my first orgasm and I probably just can't masturbate right. When I woke up the next morning, my close friend comes up to me and asks, 'You weren't lying when you said you haven't ejaculated yet?' To which I went, 'Why would I lie about that?' She then pulls me to the bathroom, pulls my pants down, looks up at me and says, 'I'm going to make this a personal accomplishment, to TEACH you how it's done.' So she jerks me off, teaching me while she was at it until I eventually came. That friend of mine had a very satisfied look on her face and I got started on cleaning up the mess, and that's when I noticed there was light coming from the door frame.
The bloody door was left open and a few of my other friend's video recorded the whole thing on camera! A few days before I left the school to move to another country, I received a custom burnt CD from them which happened to be my 'farewell gift.' Guess what was on it? Yup, that same exact video of my very first orgasm!! Not surprisingly, I still have that disc in storage.
18. A horror checklist.
When I was 23 I was invited on a camping trip. I attended this 'camping trip' with several of my 'friends' who I worked with at the local hospital. I use quotations because calling this a 'camping trip' is kind of like calling a hooker 'marriage material.' This trip was more of a liver failure inducing, life altering, terrible decisions to be made, ridiculous and immature drinking binge by the lake. Calling these people 'friends' who aided in my terribly poor judgement and decision making... well... you be the judge... (Continued)
I had worked with these people for 4 years. I trusted them with my life on a regular basis in our work as paramedics. Especially my partner on the ambulance, Mikey, who I trusted implicitly... mistake. Mikey was the ringleader and organizer of this little dumpster fire of a get-together, and apparently I was the foci of the 'entertainment.' Apparently it was decided, unbeknownst to me, that the crew was going to see exactly how drunk they could get a dumb Irish-American kid before they die. The answer? Ridiculously stupid drunk. Mikey was in charge of pouring my drinks, and trusting him implicitly, I drank what was put in front of me. We started off with a couple of shots, this led to solo cups filled with God only knows what sort of jet fuel breath of Satan in a glass. Ultimately it led to where I remember walking to a pontoon boat, and that is about where my night ends.
Apparently I was sitting in my chair, drunk as a leprechaun on St. Patty's day, when I was approached by a nurse who had a crush on me. So apparently Mikey sees this transpiring and convinces me to take (we shall call her 'Jen') Jen down by the lake to 'talk.' With beer goggles on, and a libido that would make Don Draper proud, I apparently stumbled down to the large body of water and decide we should get on a strangers pontoon boat. Jen and I begin fooling around, she rolls me onto my back as we are really getting into it. As she was riding me like Seabiscuit, a fish hook managed to pierce my butthole and lodge itself DEEP within my sanctum sanctorum. It was told to me that I then began screaming in a language known only to the Lord God Almighty and myself, in a pitch similar to Mariah Carey after inhaling helium. I danced around that little floating party barge with the ferocity and fervency of a man possessed. After a couple of very confused retirees found two naked and drunk strangers on their pontoon boat they go over to our camp and alert my 'friends.' Jen, with the assistance of my co-workers had to use her trauma nurse skills and pull the fish hook out of my pucker pocket, whilst all of my 'friends' brayed laughing like wild jackasses. I am sure that the sound of laughter is still hovering somewhere in the atmosphere over central Texas.
This crowd of medically trained individuals then allowed me to try and put my clothing on, falling overboard into the lake, and ultimately losing my clothes. I then hid under the pontoon until someone brought me more clothes (pink women's pajamas). I proceeded to go to another campsite and vomit on a strangers campfire, all of this with Jen in toe. I collapsed in the dirt, and Jen carried me back to Mikey's camper, and put me to bed. So public humiliation, public indecency, alcohol toxicity, a level II trauma, and vomiting on a strangers campfire... that was not the terrible part of it. From that day forward, anytime the guys on the department talked about me, they referred to me as 'Captain Hook'.
Breaking up is hard to do.
And when you get the law involved, it's even worse. But sometimes people don't need the law's help to make things overcomplicated, they just have a grand ole time making that happen themselves.
People on the front lines of human cruelty include divorce lawyers. These are their stories.