19 People Share The Loneliest Thing They Ever Did Or Witnessed.
People on Reddit were asked: "What's the loneliest thing you've ever done or seen someone do?" These are some of the best answers.
1/19 In high school, I hid in the bathroom to eat lunch, or during P.E. If bathrooms were closed, I would hide out behind the school and eat next to the dumpster. If anyone saw me there (god forbid) I quickly dump my food in the dumpster so they don't know my secret.
2/19 Worked at a flower shop a few years ago. Valentine's day. He was looking at some of our flowers with a troubled look on his face and tears in his eyes. I approached and asked if there was anything I could help him find. He said "My wife died 5 years ago, but I always bought her flowers for valentine's day. I'm trying to find flowers to put on her grave, but now I can't remember what color she liked." He put his hand over his mouth and his voice cracked when he said the last part. He was tore up over not remembering.
3/19 When I worked at Wendy's a guy and his little old mother would come in every day and order the same thing. One day he comes in by himself and orders the same thing but she's not with him. He just sat there and didn't eat at all. He did this everyday for weeks. Eventually I quit because it was a summer job but he was there on my last day.
4/19 My mother is currently in a hospice with the terrible combination of terminal cancer, COPD, and mid-grade dementia. Every time I've gone to see her she has been sitting outside of the front doors in her walker. I always ask her how long she has been outside and she tells me that she has been there for less than 5 minutes or so. The last time I went to see her she was sitting outside again and I decided for some reason to see how long she would stay outside as I had heard that she was becoming very disassociated from everyone and everything at her hospice. I sat on some steps about a half a block away and watched her sit there for over 45 minutes not making a single move. She was just staring forward as if she were paralyzed. I sat there and cried, devastated that this is how my mothers life is going to end. When I finally approached her I asked her how long she had been outside for. She said about 5 minutes. I broke down again, hugged her, and took her back inside. She barely remembers me and all she wants to talk about in her lucid moments is how much she misses my step-dad who died 15 years ago. It just absolutely breaks my heart that she lived with that for 15 years and that its all she can think about when she is aware.
I'm sure you've all heard it before, but please, please do not take the people in your life for granted. All it takes sometimes is for you just to be there. Just to let someone know that they aren't alone.
5/19 Growing up, my family was never big on celebrating me or my brothers birthday. One year they had obviously forgotten until well into the day of. For some reason we had one of those candles that played happy birthday (never used) so I took it to my room and played it and cried myself to sleep.
6/19 Maladaptive daydreaming every second I'm alone. When I'm driving I'm speaking to my "girlfriend" or on the Tonight Show talking about my newest "standup show". I'm speaking at a bookshop in Norway (in Norwegian) about my bestselling novel which is being made into a feature film. I'm daydreaming when I walk to class, when I drift off to sleep. It's how I cope.
7/19 I delivered to an old guy who ordered pizza once, and he invited me in and offered me said pizza. For context he was no creeper, just an obviously lonely old guy who probably never got any company at his old apartment. It was a slow night so I actually stayed around and just talked to him for a long time, but I didn't take any pizza.
The guy told me all about his life, the war, his family across the country, he told me all about his grandson who he said I reminded him of, and he asked me how I liked my job because he said his grandson needed a summer job. He was super excited that his family was coming to see him.
The idea that the guy would order a pizza, pay for that, and then invite in the stranger who brought it to eat it makes it stick out as the loneliest thing I've seen. But it wasn't as awful experience by any means. The guy had a really neat life story and it was a welcome break from my job. When I finally left he thanked me profusely for listening and it made a huge difference in my attitude actually doing something meaningful to someone and not just bringing crappy food to misers for an easy buck.
8/19 I had a friend who used to play Wii games by herself because her roommates didn't like her and she had no one to play with. Player one was her right hand and player two was her left.
9/19 Made friends with my senior housemate and her friends my freshman year of college. Then had my entire circle of close friends graduate. I was stuck more or less friendless my sophomore year, and was sad and lonely and bored. Ended up posting on the college Facebook page asking if anyone wanted to eat lunch with me.
I cringe thinking about it.
10/19 I've been in college for five years and I have absolutely no friends. Every semester I'm completely alone all day. I talk to no one, I eat lunch alone, I walk to class alone. For the first two years it was pretty depressing but after that I convinced myself that college is for education and not socializing. I'm not going to my graduation ceremony because I will not know a single person in my graduating class and I will not have any friends to take pictures with.
11/19 I had no friends in 4th grade. My family had moved from a different country back to the USA a couple years prior, and then homeschooled me for a year (and done a terrible job of it), so I basically when I entered public school I had not re-adjusted to American culture at all, on top of already being an insanely shy and awkward little girl.
For the whole school year I played by myself at recess and was weirdly quiet - my only "friend" was my little Beanie Baby toy (Snip, the Siamese cat), so by the end of the year when yearbooks came out, I had no one to sign mine. I remember watching everyone walking around signing each other's, and me just sitting there as they passed by.
Of course I wanted signatures too, so I did the only thing I knew and wrote "Have a great summer! - Snip."
Another little girl must have felt bad for me and did eventually ask to sign my yearbook, saw the "signature" and asked about it. I must have been the shade of a lobster while explaining it.
12/19 I knew an old lady on my street who would regularly call the police for nonexistent disturbances after her husband passed away just so she could have somebody to talk to for a little while. After the officers realized what was happening, a lot of them began to stop by her house after their shifts to have tea and chat with her so that she would stop dialing 911.
13/19 I was walking by my neighbour's house years ago. I see her (70+ years-old) sitting at the kitchen table talking with someone. I thought maybe her son came to visit, as her husband died a month before. As I continue walking, I see the seat opposite here - it's empty. She's there still talking to her husband. It broke my heart.
14/19 My girlfriend of 4 years died in an accident a couple years back. I have since learned to cope with it all. However, this was not the case at first. The first few weeks after she died I would lay her picture on my pillow and hold conversations with her for hours at a time. I would put pillows under the blankets in the shape of a body, and pretend she was actually laying there. I would fall asleep holding the pillows in a death grip/cuddle. This was the mild stuff.
I created a Facebook page for her that I didn't tell anyone about, and I would message myself from it, holding conversations with myself from both of our perspectives. Some of the stuff I said was really f*cked up, looking back at it now. I would go out to places we'd like to eat at, and order food for two, leaving her food on the other side of the table and even holding conversations as though she were sitting there. People would be pretty weirded out.
The worst thing that I did, which really should be kept to myself but f*ck it, was sex related. I would only try to f*ck women who looked like her, and on two occasions I actually moaned her name out loud during sex with one of these women. She knew how f*cked up I was with it all, and actually went along with it. She would pretend to be my former girlfriend, and say things like, "I never left. I'm still here to f*ck your cock," and a lot of much more f*cked up shit. Pretty sure she might have had some demons of her own, looking back on it all. She even let me f*ck her as she lay limp one time, pretending to be my actual dead girlfriend. I cut things off after that, realizing how f*cked it all was. Loneliness is can f*ck your brain up man.
15/19 I am generally a loner and it hit me when I was bored at home and my two friends were on their double dates with their girlfriends. I drove my car at night since I couldn't sleep, went got a burger, and parked in an empty parking lot playing music and eating. Felt alone. Funny thing is I do this regularly but it never registered. I'm used to it doing loner things. Eat alone, drink, movies, etc.
16/19 Slowly stroke my own hair when I'm crying in bed at 3 am and pretend that somebody else was doing it. Last night :(
17/19 I spent my birthday by my self. I cancelled all the plans I had made weeks before and drove around for hours alone driven by nothing more than my depression and thoughts of self harm. Things have gotten better. Yesterday I had random people in my classes tell me they missed me on Friday (my depression hit me hard on Friday) and one of my professors of mine even offered to drive me to my car as it was raining and I had parked a good deal away. It made me realize what a difference I make in peoples life's even if its just a small one.
I can't explain to you how I felt today when one of my class mates said "Hey here's your graded homework!" Someone actually knew my name and acknowledged my existence. It was a surreal feeling.
18/19 A teacher from my school, unmarried, no kids, would regularly go to Disneyland by himself. In theory, it sounds fun but it makes me sad imagining a middle-aged guy waiting in line for churros and riding rides alone :-(
19/19 I had the opportunity to go on a class trip to Europe my sophomore year of high school. I didn't have any friends that went on the trip, so I tried to cling to people I at least sort of knew. I remember one night I had wondered where the two guys I was sharing the hotel room were, and eventually I figured out they had gone to the room next to us where a couple girls were staying, so I knocked on the door and was greeted by one of the guys by saying "six is a crowd", and he promptly closed the door.
F*cking Christ, I went back to my hotel room and started sobbing uncontrollably, realizing that I was on the other side of the world, as far away from everyone as I had ever been while also reeling from being rejected. I tried really REALLY hard to imagine as many friends/family members as I could there in the room with me. I talked to them and they reassured me that I was a decent guy, and it was going to be alright.
This might sound like a first-world problem... I understand I was in Europe (specifically Rome at the time) and what a grand opportunity that was. But I've definitely never felt more alone than in that instance.
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Whoops. That snip was just a hair too far....
Your first bad haircut probably made you want to die a little when you looked in the mirror. Imagine how the person cutting your hair must have felt. Although, maybe they didn't care at all, as evidenced by the bs excuse they gave you when you finished in the barber chair.