20 Honest Tweets About Parenting From Hilarious Moms And Dads.
Parent pro tip: Beware of the child who cleans their room without being prompted. They are about to ask to borrow money.— Sarcastic Mommy (@sarcasticmommy4) May 31, 2016
4yo: "Daaaaddy! I need your help! I'm in the bathroom! I tried to practice wiping my own butt!"
Me: "How'd it go?"
4yo: "Not too good."
ReasonsMySonIsCrying (@ReasonsMySonCry) May 17, 2016
As a parent, you want to open doors for your kids. As someone who pays A/C bills, you must close every door they open, which is all of them.
The ParentNormal (@ParentNormal) May 17, 2016
If you're looking for ideas, a family bike ride is another fun way to sit and listen to your kids complain for an hour.— Kate Hall (@KateWhineHall) July 10, 2016
My kids cleaned the kitchen without being asked & now I'm afraid of what they want from me.— Sarcastic Mommy (@sarcasticmommy4) July 12, 2016
My kids can find a virtual Pikachu 5 doors down, but they can't see their real shoes sitting in the middle of the walkway. #parenting— Beau Coffron (@lunchboxdad) July 13, 2016
If tell my 6yos I have a surprise for them at home, 100% chance they will guess non-stop till we arrive + get mad at me for not telling them— Robert Knop (@FatherWithTwins) July 12, 2016
They say a watched pot never boils but that's still faster than anything you watch your kid do when you're running late.— Dad and Buried (@DadandBuried) July 11, 2016
Me: [sneaks off to lay by pool cuz kids are finally playing]— Valerie (@ValeeGrrl) July 12, 2016
7yo: HERE I AM MOMMY SO YOU DON'T HAFTA BE ALONE
Me: [sigh] Thanks bud.
Just got home after a three day trip with my kids. I can't wait for them to fall asleep so my vacation can start.— Lunarbaboon (@Lunarbaboon) July 11, 2016
Do you have to go to the bathroom?— Kalvin (@KalvinMacleod) July 9, 2016
How about now?
FOR CRYING OUT LOUD
Kids were in the bathroom when I hear my 4yo say, "Watch out, brother! It's a big poop! Everybody take cover!"— Toni Hammer (@realtonihammer) July 13, 2016
So far the only thing on my bucket list is 'pee without any kids finding you before you can flush the toilet.'— Court (@Discourt) July 13, 2016
90% of raising a 9yo is teaching them that garbage goes in a garbage can.— No Idea: Daddy Blog (@byclintedwards) July 14, 2016
Its not the heat, it's the humidity. It's not delivery, it's DiGiorno. It's not a murder scene, it's spaghetti night and I have 3 kids.— Lurk @ Home Mom (@LurkAtHomeMom) July 13, 2016
This ends like Romeo and Juliet but with me collapsing still rinsing baby bottles at 80, and hubs passed out in a pile of his dirty laundry.— Walking Outside (@WalkingOutside) July 15, 2016
Yes, I did just let my 3yo cheat during a game of Chutes & Ladders.— [email protected] (@NextLifeNOKids) July 13, 2016
Because I don't have four hours to play a game of Chutes & Ladders.
Heading to Disney World next week so I'm prepping my kids by making them stand in line for meals, bathroom, trampoline, Xbox...— Momma of Midgard (@MidgardMomma) July 11, 2016
Didn't look at my kid's homework folder. Dropped her off 5 minutes late & told her to run to class.— The Dose of Reality (@TheDoseTweets) May 20, 2016
End of school year mom in full effect.
Parenting truth:— Doyin Richards (@daddydoinwork) May 16, 2016
Weekends? Kids are jumping on my bed at 6:00am sharp.
Weekdays? I have to jump on their beds to wake them up.
Share with a mom or dad you know!
When you're a kid most adults will tell you one thing or another is "cool" and "fun." Odds are you're too young to form any kind of opinion on the matter one way or another. You're a kid, right? You don't know what you're eating for breakfast. However, when you get older and form that larger worldview, you realize that yeah, maybe that one time when you were a kid actually wasn't fun.
These are those stories.