20 Of The Most Epic Burns Teachers Have Dished Out To Students.
People on Reddit were asked: "What is the sickest burn you have seen a teacher give to a student?" These are some of the best answers.
1/20 Student: "Can we postpone the math test? It's on my birthday."
Teacher: "Well unlike your birthday this math test was planned ahead of time."
2/20 As a joke, a student asked the teacher how you get 4 gay guys to sit on a bar stool. He then flipped his shop stool upside down. The teacher then said "That's a good one. We had that same joke in my day but it was with sorority girls." The student thought that was a better version of the joke. Then the teacher said, "Hey, isn't your sister a sorority girl." The look on his face was priceless.
3/20 Student constantly skips class
Teacher: "Where's Justin?"
Student: I can call him if you want.
Teacher: Do it.
Teacher: Hey, Justin where are you when you should be in my class?
Justin: (you can tell he's a little freaked out) Uhhh... McDonalds.
Teacher: Pick up an application.
4/20 Student: "I'm going to be one of the people running the world, by then. I'm the future."
Teacher: "That's like reminding me that I'm going to die. Only more depressing."
5/20 Teacher: (Doing attendance) "Sarah? Oh hi Sarah, I didn't recognize you without your glasses (pretty girl who usually wears glasses)... And (to Ben, the class clown) Ben... Where's Ben? (he's in his usual spot) Oh Ben there you are, I didn't recognize you with your mouth shut!
6/20 This was about 2006.
Student: "The song American idiot was written about you."
Teacher: "Boulevard of broken dreams was written about your future."
7/20 Substitute was a cool 20 something year old guy. He was giving a lecture on math and stuff when his voice cracks. For a few seconds no one notices it, then some kid imitates the squeak and gets a couple giggles.
Then the teacher turns around and says "Listen kid, the reason my voice is cracking is cause I've been talking all day. The reason your voice cracked is cause your balls never dropped."
Entire class lost it.
8/20 "You seem to be a bit of an intellectual snob. Your academic performance makes me wonder why". Whole class gasped.
9/20 Student (trying to be intimidating): "Don't get me angry, you wont like me when I'm angry."
Teacher: "Nobody likes you anyway."
10/20 After a particularly bad group project presentation that basically just failed to touch on anything relevant to the core subject his review was "I asked you for a painting, you gave me a frame".
11/20 So I had a friend in HS who wore khaki pants and a collared shirt to school pretty much every day.
One day he was leaning over some kid's desk helping him with something, and his ass sticking way out. Just tempting someone to run over and smack it. And another friend, James, does just that. He runs over and lands a perfect, incredibly loud slap square on the butt-cheeks. on him that made him bolt to standing up immediately.
Fortunately for every else in the class except for James, it wasn't my friend but the teacher, who also wore khakis and collared shirts to school every day. Everyone goes silent, and the teacher turns around, bright red, but with a big smile on his face and says, "James! Save that for after class!"
Everyone bursts out laughing and the kid, of course, never lived it down.
12/20 My dad was a high school teacher about 30 or 40 years ago. He was pretty young, so his students felt pretty comfortable around him, and felt comfortable messing with him.
There was this one student who decided to put a tack on my dad's chair before he came in one morning. My dad noticed it before he sat down, and decided to keep standing.
A few minutes into class, that kid got called to the office. My dad took the tack and put it on the kid's chair.
When the kid returned, the other students were able to hide their snickering pretty well. He sits down and immediately jumps about six feet in the air. The class bursted out laughing. My dad always wins.
13/20 I had a teacher that would write "Ouch" next to all my wrong answers on a test.
14/20 We were taking a quick 20 question multiple choice quiz a few years back in a bio class and the teacher suspected one of the stoner kids in the back had been cheating because he kept messing with his shorts.
"I hope you aren't sliding that pant leg up to check the answers you have written down."
The student piped back, "Yeah of course I have them all written on my dick."
And without missing a beat the teacher fired back, "Alright well where did you write the other 18 answers?"
15/20 Student: "Can I go to the bathroom?"
Teacher: "I don't know, can you?"
Student: "Well you could always help me out."
Teacher: "This isn't a science class, I don't have any tweezers. "
To the burn ward with you!
16/20 2 jocks were arm wrestling and the teacher said: "If you want to hold hands, homecoming is this Friday."
17/20 You're my second favorite student of all time. Everyone else is tied for first.
18/20 Kid was sticking an eraser in a bunsen burner with a pair of tongs. Science teacher told him to stop because the fumes can give you brain cancer. Then she added "On second thought, it's probably too late for you to worry about that."
19/20 So we are in PE and our teacher is new to the school but taught in juvi for a while and had several tattoos, so she played around with us but in the end took no crap.
We're sitting in the bleachers one day and she leans back and undoes her hair. One of the students (among the more rowdy of us, she tolerated him... barely) then shouts down at her "Hey Ms. you look better with your hair down!" She stops, looks at him and goes "Yeah, well you look better with my eyes closed!" The bleachers erupted.
20/20 Our math teacher placed a book on the marker tray of the white-board with an arrow on the board connecting the book to the sentence, "Marco's Biography."
The book was called, "The Ugliest Boy."Marco was a student, and was also the teacher's son.
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