23 People Share The Worst First Message They've Received While Dating Online.
Online daters of Reddit were asked: "What's the worst first email you've gotten from someone?" These are some of the best answers.
1/19 The absolute worst one I've ever gotten had the subject title "My dick. Your butt." and the message just said "thoughts?"
2/19 I got this a couple of years ago from a guy in Germany (I'm from Chicago):
"Hey, Good morning, how r u ? you re damned hot , well i should be placed as oyster on your foodplate now. hehe how would i end up? consumed ? with lemon and champagne? or my other oysterfriends first, who are with me in the box? just like it mean now hehe"
3/19 "You should grow your hair out so I can pull on it while I f*ck you. Also what are some good tips for going vegetarian?"
4/19 Typo his.
"...I drive a BMW and I am a gook looking Asian."
4/19 "You are beautiful. Let's meet at Starbucks so I can massage your tits."
We only went out twice.
5/19 "I may fit the bill of what your looking for. I work in (my city) and spend a lot of time out there. Love curvy woman and I am a p*ssy suckin motherf*cker."
Sigh. Online dating.
6/19 "Hey, you look cute. Ever want to f*ck a married man?"
His handle was Married_man
7/19 "Okay, okay. I have to admit. I have been messaged by so many Indians on here and have sworn them off due to horrible past dating situations. On the contrary, you sound a lot like me in several different aspects. I can see some things possibly being a problem (I am Christian and do go to church) and I am at times a grammar Nazi mainly because I teach ESL and your profile is riddled with missing articles! Typical Indian error and how I can spot non-native American English speakers. ;-) Hope that you won't hold these against me."
9/23 "I'm alpha like that"...."listen to the soulful sounds of Adele."
10/23 "If you don't let me take you out I'm going to send your nudes out." "But I don't know you and I don't send nudes... not possible." "I have your nudes. Just give me a chance." BLOCKED.
11/23 "You got a fat head. I like that." How on Earth does someone respond to that positively?
12/23 I'm a guy, so the experience is probably a little different for us versus women. I'd rate my looks at average/slightly above average, I have a great job, own a home, a car, no debt, etc.. Nothing outlandish in my profile or anything to freak someone out. I think of myself as a pretty solid catch...
Anyway, I was on Match.com and saw a woman and thought "she seems cool - let's shoot her a message and say 'hi'...". I get a reply saying the following: "You seem like a really nice guy with a lot to offer, but no thanks. I would also like to advise you to know your ballpark and check out women in the same league as yourself. You might have a better time."
I didn't know who she was (nor did I want to anymore...) but damn - that one took a bit to shake-off.
13/23 "Hey, call me at ###-###-#### and I'll stop by your place and suck your snake, Love Alexis"
14/23 "SHUT UP. Do what I tell you. I'm not interested.
... These are just some of the things you'll be hearing if you answer this ad. I'm an idiot and I don't care about anyone but myself.
PS NO DOGS"
15/23 Ok, so my worst first e-mail, back a few months ago when I was active on OKCupid. So, I'm a black, Christian woman and my profile says that I would prefer to date a Christian guy (race/ethnicity doesn't matter). Now don't get me wrong, I'm not the Santorum like Christian... I LOVE Obama, think the government needs to stay out of a woman's vagina, and I'm bisexual myself.
I get a message that seemed kinda off, but it piqued my interest. So I explore the guys profile... turns out he is a white supremicist from a southern state who hates big government. He is also looking for a woman who is 100% virginal to submit to him. I was like "Is this a joke? A trap? Or did this guy fall down and smack his lil head on the ground before he logged into OKCupid today?"
So I send him a polite e-mail back pointing out our differences... he responds back, and I'm paraphrasing, saying that he recognizes that he is of a superior race, but because I look pure in my profile picture he's willing to make an exception. Now am I willing to enter a relationship where I am headed by a man completely?
I never responded back... but got tons of txts from my friends asking me if I was gonna date the klansman for sh*ts and giggles.
16/23 I deleted this one a while ago, but it was some woman that wanted me to come over to "fix her car" because she didn't know how, based on my picture I have in front of my '49 Chevy.
Despite my username, if I am going to message someone, the first thing I'm going to say is not "Hey Come over and fix me a sandwich!"
17/23 "The only sexy thing about you is your vagina, shame you don't have a photo of that up."
18/23 "You look just like my little sister. I want to punch your face" ... thanks?
19/23 Most of mine include one liners about getting my a**hole eaten, somehow. This gem came yesterday, "Ever have your a**hole licked by a fat man in an overcoat?"
20/23 Got this gem about a month ago that read:
"I'm almost too embarrassed to say this, but I'll just spit it out. I would suck the schlong of any of your ex-boyfriends just to butterfly kiss your beautiful eyes."
21/23 "Hey I just want to let you know that I'm not gay but you look really good not too masculine just the kind of guy that I might be into a little bit if you feel like some mutual jerk off you should hit me up and it wouldn't be gay"
22/23 "You big ol' handsome bear motherf*cker! Write me back!"
Where have you been all my life?!
23/23 My favorite "bad" one was around Christmas time I had a guy instant message me on OKCupid and say "My dick and yo mouth be under the mistletoe, aw sh*t"
Fame always come with a price!
Fame is a tricky, tricky mistress. It can be intoxicating and make you crave it; until it ruins you or until it does you right. And thanks to cable television and the internet anyone can be famous for literally anything and nothing all at once. Who knew being a "Meme" could garner you a fan club? What does one do with that sort of fame.
Redditor u/AnswersOddQuestions wanted to hear from those who are part of Meme fame by asking.... People who have had their pictures end up as memes. How has it affected your life?
I wanna be Memed!