24 Teachers Share Times They Had To Stop Themselves From Laughing While Disciplining Their Students.
Stopping yourself from laughing is one of the most challenging tasks one can take upon themselves. Some will succeed, some will fail.
These are their stories...
Many thanks to the Redditor who posed this question. You can check out more answers from the source at the end of this article!
1/24. My girlfriend works at a daycare, and one day a little boy was finger painting, casually stops to look at his hands, and goes , "Now how the f*ck do I get this off?"
2/24. I'm a theatre teacher, and one of the lines my middle school students say is "Who nears my bridge?" During rehearsal, she steps onto the box and proudly declares "Who nears my b*tch? Oh man, I just said b*tch onstage. Dang it." I quickly screamed MOVING ON and ducked under the stage to die laughing.
3/24. I was working at a daycare. As I was walking in a little girl, "Jillian" was being dropped off.
There was a group of teenagers outside who screamed "Suck my d*ck!"
The owner of the daycare (who was supposed to be in every day but only came every few months) was really sour. She liked checks, not kids.
She was showing some parents around and tried to assert how in control she was by arbitrarily picking on Jillian, who was playing quietly by herself.
She said "Now Jillian you have to put that toy down right now and go play with something else." To which Jillian logically asked, "But why?" She said "I don't appreciate you talking back. You can go sit in the corner until you're ready to behave, thank you."
Jillian proudly responded as she walked towards the corner - "Ok, well you can suck my d*ck. Thank you."
4/24. Seniors brought a George foreman grill to class to grill some burgers during a testing day for which many were exempt.
At about noon nearly the entire 3 hallways around their room smelled amazing. Students were disciplined but it was funny as sh*t.
5/24. 5th grade. A kid called a girl a "string of anal beads" in front of the whole class. Sent him to the office. He denied it. The principal called me in...
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I had to turn around to not let him see me laugh as the principal went on a tirade about how she never got the urge to call people anal beads. Best part. Both the principal and assistant principal claimed to not know what anal beads were (both women in their 40s), so they did a google image search on the school computer. Got a confused call from IT.
6/24. One of my 4th grade students had just learned to swear (after watching a bunch of YouTube videos at home unsupervised). He did it for attention, so our classroom protocol was to completely ignore it.
One day, he was pissed because his mom sent him grape soda instead of cherry soda. He was at the snack table going on a long rant of "I f*cking hate this soda. My f*cking mom sent me this f*cking soda and it's f*cking disgusting." Me and my teaching assistants all left him at the table and ignored him. When it was recess time, one of the recess teachers came into the room and announced "It's time for recess" His response was "No, it's time to f*ck!" I had to leave the room because I was trying so hard not to laugh.
A few weeks later, same kid was eating his lunch. We were all having a conversation about our favorite foods, and I asked him "Do you like Thai food?" He looked up at me, gave me a sweet smile, and said "I love Thai food you c*nt." He had no idea what it meant. He'd seen it on YouTube (again) and wanted to see what kind of reaction he'd get by using his new word. Again, I had to leave because I was laughing so hard. Good times...
7/24. Definitely the kindergarteners we caught trying to dig under the fence. The Language Arts teacher told us by coming in to the faculty room and announcing, "Prisoners are escaping!"
Or the two kindergardeners who got in a Gogurt fight and then insisted they hadn't ... even though they were both covered head to toe in strawberry yogurt.
8/24. My absolute favourite line heard from the teacher in the neighbouring grade 4 class was, "Jimmy! No more tongue tag... You tag with your hands!!"
9/24. We had a group of 8th grade boys smoking Twix in the bathroom.
No, this is not a code for a drug. The actual candy bar.
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10/24. I was a teaching assistant in this pre-school. It was in Singapore, and the education system there can be...really strict. So when kids are cleaning up, the school insists they sing this "clean up song" (just keeps going "everybody clean up, clean up, clean up").
I know the initial reasoning is to make cleaning up fun, but the teachers just made it mandatory. Anyway, one kid got into trouble for cleaning up without singing. Being 2, of course she kept asking, "Why? But I'm cleaning!" when the teachers told her she had to sing.
They couldn't give her an explanation, beside, "Because I said so."
In response, she clamped her mouth shut.
They sent her out as punishment and I had to go with her, and it was so hard to maintain a serious expression until we left the classroom.
Once we're alone, I told her grown ups can be dumb and it's ok to ask questions. I still wonder how she's doing..she was a really smart kid and understood me when I explained some grown ups don't like kids talking back to them, so sometimes, it's ok to pretend you agree just to keep them happy as long as it doesn't hurt anyone.
11/24. I noticed two of my students were giggling a whole bunch during class. I walked over and they both instantly closed their notebooks. I flipped through their notebooks after class and found that 1 page from each of their notebooks was full of penis drawings in increasing levels of explicitness and ridiculousness. There was one where a penis cowboy was riding a penis horse. I quickly stifled a chuckle with a cough and told them that this was highly inappropriate, shooed them out of the classroom, and had a good laugh for a solid minute.
12/24. In Australia we have mandatory standardized testing called the NAPLAN. One of my students was very against doing this. His solution-eat the test paper. We all sat and watched him grab the booklet and eat the whole thing. I then had to march him to the Principal and had him explain why he couldn't do the test. I had to walk away because it was so funny. He didn't have to do the test in the end and just sat with me the whole time being damn proud of himself.
13/24. Was student teaching doing a unit on volume with 6th graders, we made origami boxes and then measured its volume.
One student drew penises inside the box, and wrote whats in the box on the outside and handed it to her friend...
We saw the friends reaction and confiscated the box which she had crushed.
It was a box of dicks.
All the teachers were shown the box afterwords.
14/24. Two kindergartners taking turns falling onto their backs with their knees up to their chests so that the other can take a big whiff of their butt and scream 'ew'. Back and forth like a seesaw.
15/24. I dealt with k-1s to this summer. There were these two kids Logan and Emma who were decently friends. One day during after care I come across Emma full on making out with a tree.
Me: Emma, what are you doing?
Emma: me and Logan are pretending my boyfriend is the tree. It's not a very good boyfriend we are done now.
So that was that.
16/24. I'm not a teacher, but in 6th grade we had a paper plane throwing contest, not sure why, we just did. So we were making our planes and our teacher says "Please remember not to throw your plane indoors, you'll poke your eye out. Step outside if you want to test it"
Not 10 seconds later, my best friend Scotty throws his plane. It loops back around and hits the girl in front of us right in the eye. She started crying. Scotty was panicking. I started laughing, then I looked up at the teacher and he was trying so so hard to hold it in.
The best he could manage was telling another student to take her to the nurse and a smiling scolding to lil' scotty.
17/24. My teacher Mr Rideout in middle school called my mom after school one day. We were taking a test and it was dead silent in the room and I (being a class clown when I was younger) raised my hand and asked, "Mr Rideout, what shampoo do you use?"
He's bald. He has not one piece of hair on his head.
He told my mom he thought it was hilarious and he only called her to laugh with her about it. I still got grounded.
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18/24. I had two students who were always super late to class. Like, 30 minutes late in a 50 minute class. They always promised to be on time, and of course they got docked points, and went through a disciplinary process, but it never improved.
So one day they come in again, super late. I stop class and say "Ya know, I've just got to know... why are you late today?" in hopes embarrassing them would work. The kids (who are probably 16 or so), said proudly "Ah teacher... we were f*cking!"
Because I am an adult child I joined the rest of the class in laughing, there was no way to be mad in that situation. Anyway, they got disciplined again after class but I omitted that detail. I find it much more effective if you explain to them why they can't do what they're doing, instead of feigning some emotion to frighten them.
19/24. Going to catch hell from animal rights activists, but this was years ago when in HS. Anyway...
Couple of guys got their hands on a young falcon (not gonna go into how) while at boarding school.
Didn't have a roommate but did have the key to the extra locker that never got checked during daily room inspection. So, that's where one guy sometimes kept her - until he got word to report to his section's supervisor at the end of classes one day.
The supervisor said he'd decided to check the extra lockers that morning, found himself face to beak with a hooded falcon perched on the hanger dowel, and just closed it back up without telling anyone.
Supervisor tried to keep a straight face, said this was serious, guy should get hammered with demerits, but it was the coolest contraband he'd ever found. No write up. Just said to "get rid of it."
She was released where she could establish her own territory and she did.
20/24. One of my students (fourth grade) said "f*ck" in class. When I asked him about it, he explained very nonchalantly that another student had asked him what the f-word was so he told her. He was very calm and rational about the whole thing. I had a hard time keeping a straight face while reminding him not to talk like that at school.
21/24. I recently started a program teaching English overseas, and the students in fifth grade know an adequate amount for a town where nobody's parents know English...
First day, I sit and observe a class, and one kids turns to me and asks me your standard set of questions using all of his English: Ronaldo or Messi? You play Xbox? What's your Instagram name? You like licking... well, you know what...
HE'S TEN YEARS OLD.
22/24. A friend of mine said this in class. We were silently reading a geology chapter in a catholic school.
"Ya know Mrs. R.... a volcano is a lot like a butt. There's a build up of hot gas, and eventually it gets bad enough where it just has to release it all and it explodes right out of the ash."
It took her about 30 seconds of desperately trying not to show emotion before she told him to go back to reading.
23/24. A Grade 5 boy called a girl a cat, and would meow every time she tried to speak. I had to send him out for being disruptive.
24/24. I teach high school history, and a few years back I had a situation in which students were presenting power points they created to argue which ancient civilization was more successful: India or China. They worked in partner groups, sharing responsibility on researching different aspects and completing the presentation.
In some cases they would put place holder text to let them know to return to that topic and replace it with researched information.
One pair of students, who have always been polite and hard working, made a pretty serious editing error before presenting to our class of 26. They were speaking knowledgeably and intelligently about ancient China until their slide on the Han dynasty. The top bullet note simply said, "Emperor Wu Di conquered some sh*t."
The look of abject horror in their eyes as they turned to the screen was priceless. All the color drained from their faces in the midst of uproarious laughter from the class. I needed to remain professional, but biting my lip proved to be an ineffective method of stopping my own laughter.
They immediately began to blame each other for the oversight. I told them to relax and be more diligent in their proof reading next time.