25 Athletes Share The Best Trash Talk They've Ever Heard On The Field.

Trash talk can totally get inside your opponents head and change the outcome of a game. So why not use it? It's free!

Here are twenty-five of the best pieces of trash talk athletes ever heard on the field.

Many thanks to reddit user for posing this question. You can check out more answers from the source at the end of this article!

1/25. Player on the other team: hey, you aren't wearing a mouthguard!

My teammate: yeah, your mom loves it when I don't wear protection.


2/25. "I've eaten burritos bigger than you."


3/25. On my HS soccer team during corner kicks our goalie would squeeze other players' a**es and say "you look cute" or some stuff like that.

Also our captain would just stare at people's crotches and lick his lips. It's all to get in their heads or something.... I swear.


4/25. After a huge block: "TAKE THAT WEAK SH*T BACK TO CANDYLAND!"


5/25. I played water polo through high school and college. A good friend was on the team, and a bit crazy (in a good way). She used to whisper in the ear of the people she was defending: "I'm peeing on you." It was HILARIOUS to see these other girls just recoil in horror. To the best of my knowledge, she never actually peed on anyone, but I would not have put it past her.


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6/25. Played club hockey in college. One Friday night we were playing a school and some of their fans were sitting right behind our bench heckling us all game.

At one point one of the guys yells "You losers got nothing better to do on a Friday night than play a club hockey game."

A kid on our team stands up, turns around and says "Bud, you're watching a club hockey game on a Friday night."

After a stunned silence they moved to another part of the rink and that was the last we heard of them that night.


7/25. Playing soccer against a University representative team in a knockout tournament.

It went to a penalty shootout and as each member of our team went to take our kick, the Uni supporters would shout out something heaps witty about our player.

I can't remember any except the one they said to me.

I'm a pretty regular looking soccer player. Athletic but not muscular, average height, don't have a silly haircut or any abnormal body features and I'd played a pretty solid game. So the crowd was pretty quiet as I walked up, I could just tell they were trying to pin something on me.

My jersey number is 22, not really something you can call someone out on (unlike unlucky #13 or something)... unless you're a university student.

"Your number is a palindrome!"

God dammit.


8/25. When I played baseball in high school, I was a pretty crappy hitter and really only made the team because I could field and throw like none other.

There was this one game where the other team's catcher was trash talking every kid on our team. In my second at-bat, he yells out to the pitcher "Don't worry man, this kid can't hit for sh*t."

This was pretty mild compared to some of the other things he said, but this time he pissed off the wrong person...

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I proceeded to get walked, steal second, and the next batter hit a single just in front of the center fielder.

Since we were down on runs, the third base coach waved me on to go home even though it was pretty much suicide. About 3/4 of the way there, the catcher already had the ball. I decided I would show him, so I put my shoulder down and charged at him, levelled that f*cker and knocked the ball loose. I got up, brushed the dirt off over his face, and said "and you can't block for sh*t".

After that, I got kicked out of the game and eventually quit the team.


9/25. I was fencing against a friend of mine, but I was winning due to my height (which meant a further reach).

I lunged at him and just barely missed him, which apparently angered him. He made a riposte and lunged to push me back, growling "Gonna helicopter you, b*tch" the whole time.

I had no idea what that was before he started to slowly advance, spinning the tip of his sword in a large circle that more or less protected his body. Any attack I made was unsuccessful, so he got the touch.

F*ck the helicopter.


10/25. This was a soccer game and it was getting real intense. Ref gives an absolutely bullsh*t red card. Guy yells out "f*ck you ref I know where you buy your tacos!!!"


11/25. I was up in the nose bleeds at a Jays game and one of our outfielders, Colby Rasmus, was playing particularly bad.

The old timer behind us started throwing insults, the most memorable one being, "IF YOU WERE A MONOPOLY SPOT, YOU'D BE BALTIC AVENUE".

I laughed so hard.


12/25. Whenever we play the Catholic private school in football, the starting cornerback would always yell at the wideouts, "Jesus loves us for free!"


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13/25. Cross country runner here.

We don't really talk while we race. This teammate was running next to me and there was another kid from a different school next to him. My teammate is a bit of a quiet kid, not really talkative even outside races.

He turns to this kid from the other school, and just lets loose an uppercut to this kids face. The guy from the other school just drops and smacks the ground and we keep running.

I asked him about it later and he claims to have no idea what I was talking about. That's cross country trash talk. There aren't officials in the woods. Sh*t gets crazy in the woods.


14/25. Squash player here. We don't talk trash because we understand how lame our sport is.


15/25. I once kool-aid man blocked a shot in water polo in gym. As they approached I yelled

Oh no! Oh no!

Shot blocked OH YEAH!

No one laughed but me.


16 "Oh my god, that girl is Enormous... She's a giant!"

"Fe, fi, fo, f*ck you."


17/25. "That guy chooses to eat Turkey Bacon!"


18/25. Buddies and I playing as strikers during high school soccer would always talk sh*t to the opposing defenders...

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Problem was, our team was god-awful and never would have the ability to back up our smack talk. So, it would always resort back to telling them we would destroy them at FIFA, the video game.


19/25. During a HS basketball game I took a very terrible shot.

My coach took me out, and said to me "calling that shot a brick wouldn't do it justice. It was a g0dd*mn cinder-block."


20/25. Best trash talk I have ever heard occurred after a hockey game in the lobby between 2 fathers. We'll call the teams Team A and Team B. Team A has a player who is fairly dominant and a sh*t disturber. The Team A player happened to injure a Team B player with a legal check during the game.

After the game in the lobby, the father of the Team B player is chirping the father of the Team A player who injured his son. The Team A father is just taking it and not saying anything back. Finally the Team A father gets fed up. The Team B father says something else about the Team A father's son. The Team A father simply says, "He fingered your daughter!"

Could have heard a pin drop. Nothing more was said.


21/25. Was playing ice hockey and we had a real smart*ss on our team. In this league girls were allowed to play as well and this team from Portland Oregon had two scary big girls on their team.

Anyways. This guy on me team got a penalty for tripping and yelled at the ref, "hey ref you might as well call those girls for this high stick they gave me too!"


22/25. Wrestler here. My sophomore year of high school I was warming up on the sidelines before a match, and my opponent was about 4 feet away from me doing the same...

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The guy's coach (who's known to be a jerk) comes over to him, they both look over at me, and in a loud enough for me to hear voice, coach says to his guy with a smile "Don't stress buddy, it's just <name of my school>". We were a fairly weak team back then and the coach knew it.

It felt so good kicking the sh*t out of that guy.


23/25. Last Friday a freshman was trying to act tough (saying he was the "hardest" kid) to one of the senior football stars. The senior gets annoyed and looks at him and says "I've had boners harder than you" and walks off.


24/25. When we play against the boarding schools - "Your parents don't love you."


25/25. I wrestled in high school, I used to whisper in guys ears during matches. My go to was to ask if they moisturized because they had really soft skin.

Not really smack talk I guess, but I thought it was funny.




In life, sometimes there's wrong and "technically not wrong" - and the difference can often be hilarious.

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