25 People Share The Dumbest Possible Way They'd Use Time Travel.
With great power comes great responsibility... right? Well sometimes when you've been bestowed with incredible powers, you don't always want to do incredible things. These people share the dumbest way they'd use the valuable tool of time travel.
1/25. Going back in time to be the one to tell the punchline of a joke all your friends laughed at when someone else told it.
2/25. Traveling back in time to avoid the incident in which you accidentally answered your phone before looking at the caller ID, only to discover an extremely charismatic telemarketer who kept you on the phone for over an hour and eventually talked you into purchasing subscriptions to 6 different magazines you had absolutely no real interest in reading.
3/25. Get in time machine and travel back a minute to stop yourself getting in time machine.
4/25. Visiting famous sculptors as soon as they completed their masterwork, and breaking its arms off.
5/25. Wanting to watch every "Friends" episode taped from the live studio-audience. Forever.
6/25. Walking home from school you get kidnapped by evil-doers, they confiscate your cellphone and throw you in a cage to starve but little do they know you have the power to travel through time. So you go back in time and store some food in your underwear so you won't be hungry.
Continue onto the next page for more hilarious uses of time travel!
7/25. Poop in your hand so you can travel back in time to put it together with your last poop and flush them both at the same time to save water.
Probably the sh*ttiest way to use the time travel ability.
8/25. Going back in time to spoil big movie and T.V. secrets. Yelling "Darth Vader is Luke's father!" outside of theaters the day Empire was released. Yelling "Bruce Willis is a ghost!" during the Sixth Sense premier... etc.
9/25. Go back in time and steal usernames on websites like reddit.
10/25. Starting a business where we find your lost items, but really we just go back in time, steal it and sell it back to you.
11/25. Just had an argument with my husband and he swears he didn't say something that I swear he did. Using time travel to settle that dispute would probably me the sh*ttiest use, totally pointless in the grand scheme of things.
More hilariously stupid uses of time travel on the next page!
12/25. Going back in time so that I made it to the bathroom on time and didn't sh*t myself last week.
13/25. I would buy delicious cake and eat it, then go back in time and eat it again. I would probably do that about 15 times in a row.
14/25. Traveling to the future... at the rate of 1 second per second.
15/25. Skipping the commercials. I'd imagine it would be a lot like when you recorded something off cable. "Little more, little more... whoops, too far. Just rewind a tiny bit, and... f*ck, now we're at the beginning again. Okay, slower this time... what the hell, it just went all the way to the end! Gah!" *dies*
16/25. "Oh man, my grilled cheese is cold..."
Continue for more ridiculous uses for time!
17/25. Going back in time to check whether I really turned off the stove.
18/25. Ordering a pizza and then using it to jump to a half hour from the prior present point so it just seemingly arrives at your door in an instant.
19/25. Time travel to the beginning of earth only to die from lack of oxygen.
20/25. To make sure that Tom Cruise did get the starring role in The Shawshank Redemption.
21/25. Go back in time and stop the discovery of time machines.
More dumb uses of time travel on the next page!
22/25. I would go back in time to drop a key from my second story home into my hands to let myself in because I locked myself out.
23/25. Going back to September 10th, 2001 to get the last case of Pepsi Clear.
24/25. Sending robots who are supposed to look like everyday humans but instead look like German body builders back in time to kill a single human female.
25/25. "Hi, eighteen-year-old Max! Wait. What is this?"
"Ha ha! I was expecting you this time, you bastard!"
"So, you set up a net to trap your future self? After all that I've done for you?"
"You haven't done anything for me! You've been actively trying to ruin my life since I was a kid!"
"How is it 'ruining your life' if I warn you about oncoming calamities? Also, a net? Really?"
"That's the whole problem! You're not letting me find out for myself! How do I know I would have broken up with my girlfriend if you hadn't pointed it out?!"
"Try thinking with your brain for a change."
"Oh, yeah, that's really mature."
"Ha! Talk about irony."
"That was sarcasm."
"Right, I know. Hence the irony."
"No, no, I wouldn't want to 'ruin your life' by revealing anything."
"Stop it! I know what you're doing!"
"No doubt... just like I know what you're going to do."
"Ugh. Fine. Tell me, then leave."
"Nope, sorry. You blew it this time."
"I'm keeping my mouth shut for another two years. Have fun 'making your own mistakes!'"
"Stop! What did I... what will I... argh!"
"See you at age twenty!"
You catch more flies with honey than with vinegar, or so the saying goes.
The same can be said for your interactions with cops, most of whom are perfectly happy to let minor infractions slide––When was the last time you were actually ticketed for jaywalking?––provided you're not a total Karen should you interact them.
Your local police officer likely doesn't care about jaywalking or the fact that you went five miles over the speed limit unless you give him a reason to, as we learned when Redditor Takdel asked police officers: "What stupid law have you enforced just because someone was an a-hole?"