26 Divorcees Share The Final Thing That Pushed Them Over The Edge. Buh-Bye!
Everybody likes to joke about the fact that over half of marriages end in divorce. Will you make the cut? The truth is that nobody plans to dissolve their marriage, but, nevertheless, sometimes we have to let someone go, or run away...
Here is a list of moments that were the final straw which led to a divorce.
Many thanks to Reddit user for posing this question. Check out more from the source at the end of this article!
1/26. Probably when I returned home and found all the furniture, food and my wife missing. Another hint was the empty bank account.
2/26. The last straw? The one they kept snorting coke with.
3/26. When I came home to find her sister's husband naked in my bed.
4/26. She wasn't religious when we met, 10 years later she told me I was going to hell for believing in dinosaurs.
5/26. She found out I was going blind after three years of marriage and that sorta broke what was left of a failing relationship. She was gone three months later. I had to stop driving and move to where I walk to work to stay employed. I moved into an empty apartment with a sleeping bag. I look back at that time and am pretty amazed I didn't lose my sh*t worse than I actually did.
6/26. My husband was cheating. I found out, and instead of immediately dumping his a**, I said, Let's try to work this out, but you have to dump the girlfriend.
His response: "But what if you and me don't work out?"
DIRECT F*CKING QUOTE. And THAT was the final straw.
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7/26. When his abuse began affecting the way my son viewed abuse. After my ex punched me in the face, my son said, "well, it's not like he ever beat the crap out of you."
8/26. The day after my father died (which happened to be thanksgiving day) my husband erased and reset my phone. Everything on it gone. Pictures of my dad with my daughter, pictures that only I had.
He did it knowing that I had not backed up my phone and it wasn't connected to the cloud either. I had called him the worst person in the world because he requested a month of leave to visit my terminally ill father, got the leave then decided to not buy a ticket to come visit.
So when I called him that he decided to show me how much worse it could be. That was the final straw.
9/26. I was in an abusive relationship for over ten years. I was abused physically, emotionally, mentally and sexually. By the end, I was like a shadow of what I had been. I had no friends (wasn't allowed them), no confidence, could barely go out in public, had really bad anxiety and depression. I'd even stopped talking to my family.
And I still couldn't walk away. To be honest I don't think I would ever have found the strength to do it.
Then she said, "I want a divorce."
She stole her friend's boyfriend, and he's great for her, because he loves the abuse. But our kids can't stand him.
It's been five years, and it was the best thing that ever happened. I have a great relationship with my dad, I have friends, I've got some confidence, I went back to college and will hopefully get a degree in the next year or two, I see my kids regularly and probably have a better relationship with them than I would have had if I'd still been with her. And my mental health has vastly improved (3 years since I stopped self-harming, go me!).
10/26. It was pretty much the Emma Thompson storyline from Love Actually - peeked into a jewelry bag at what I thought was my Christmas gift, on Christmas morning got a goddamn Nook, instead.
I was confused until a week later, via Facebook snooping, I saw his "friend" showing off the gift. Shortly before that, I'd seen suspicious footprints all over our floor and he denied anyone had been in the house.
11/26. I came home from work. There was a note on the table.
She had dropped our two kids off at her grandparents, told them she was going to the mall, and left the country.
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12/26. Around 6 weeks after we got married she asked me if it would be alright if she could go out with a guy from her new job, "like a date" her exact words. Ummm no - WTF.
Divorce proceedings began within the week, she moved out, and within 8 months she remarried that guy, had a couple of kids, then divorced him. 8 years later, she finds me (now living in another state), wants to "get back together" as she said she was wrong, and I was the only guy she ever really loved.
Nope, I was done.
13/26. He came running at me to push me down the stairs, while he was holding our baby. Still to this day, claims it wouldn't have happened if I hadn't made him so mad.
14/26. I came home early from work because of a migraine. Found him in bed with my best friend.
Oddly, I was more hurt by her behavior than his. Broomed them both that day.
15/26. She made someone else more important than me in our relationship. Despite being told by me, her family, my family and a relationship counselor she thought she was doing the right thing and that I would just hang around while she had her fun.
The night I told her it was over she had plenty of reasons why she was acting the way she was and why she deserved to keep him as a friend. This is nearly 2 years ago now. The other guy lasted a couple of months after we split. She is now trying to justify herself by jumping from bed to bed with whoever she can.
16/26. I had been in hospital the night before and they had planned to do surgery for suspected appendicitis. It turned out not to be so acute so the surgery was cancelled and I was discharged and instructed to rest.
By that morning,I hadn't eaten for almost two days. Husband comes to the hospital to pick me up. He sat in the car about a block away with the engine running waiting for me to walk to where he was.
He called his work to say he was taking the day off to look after me. In reality, he spent the day in bed or playing PC games.
There was no food in the house and he refused to go grocery shopping because that was my job. By now I'm super hungry and still in pain from the niggling appendix. I asked if he could sort dinner for us. He pretty much picked a fight with me over that. I said I didn't need this in my life and he responded, "Well we can get a divorce if you want!" I said, "Yes please. I've actually been thinking about that for a while."
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17/26. When I did all the chores for us to have a relaxing weekend. I vacuumed the apartment, cleaned everything, did the bathroom, went grocery shopping ($250+), washed two loads of clothes and hung them to dry, new bed sheets, made dinner that was on the table when she got home. And all during the day I sent her texts telling her what I did.
Her reaction when she got home? WHY HAVEN'T YOU DONE THE DISHES?!
18/26. When he started talking to another girl on the ps4, that then continued to texting, (never hidden) then he admitted he had feelings for her. When I asked him to cut things off with her if he couldn't see her as just a friend, he told me that wasn't something he was prepared to do.
I battled for him, but eventually, about 3 months after that conversation he told me he had booked a flight to Canada to go meet her, when he got home admitted they'd had sex and he didn't love me romantically anymore I was more like a sister. During those 3 months I'd gone through the emotions of a break up already, not eating, crying all the time, I was pushed aside so much for this woman. He chose her over his son and me.
Skip forwards to now he's going back over there next week. I really do wish them both well. They have so much in common.
I was with him from 16 years old for 7 years, we grew up together but also apart. We're friends now and I understand why it all happened. He wasn't a bad partner but he wasn't the best and I hope he's grown up enough now to make things work with her. She should be making the move here early next year (from Canada to uk)
I've met someone who I also share interests with (long walks, reading, same TV series, same food, same ideas of family etc)
Sometimes things just weren't meant to be, and sometimes that saddens me.
19/26. First wife. I just don't know what happened. I was in it forever, and I thought she was.
I was working two jobs, (engineer and part time mechanic) and somehow she got it in her head that I was cheating. I wasn't. Not even close.
After hours I was often hard to reach since I was on the assembly floor, or at the mechanic job with no phone, but I think her sister was putting ideas in her head. Her sister was married to a real POS (think Jersey Shore) and we paid their mortgage at least once. I think she got uneasy one Friday night and spoke to her and got the idea to wake me up at 1:00 AM to discuss (pure torture) and then move out on Saturday morning.
Hit me like a ton of bricks. My mother used to disappear and suddenly I was an eight year-old kid wondering if he would ever see his mommy again. After 3 days she wanted to move back, and I wouldn't let her. She was trying to scare me, but that one thing and now whenever I looked at her I saw my mother and wanted nothing to do with it.
20/26. My first wife was from Mexico and couldn't really make the transition to the US. She was young and so was I so I tried everything, including telling her she could stay in Mexico to get her degree and I'd pay for it.
Flash forward a couple of years later, we haven't talked in two months because of bullsh*t. I dislocated my shoulder at a fire and am at home after having it reduced (clinical term for fixed). I couldn't shower myself so my mother has to help me clean up.
It finally dawns on me that I'm a grown ass man getting cleaned by his mother while my "wife" is oblivious to anything that's going on with me.
I was done. I wish I'd done it sooner.
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21/26. We'd been struggling financially for a long time having barely recovered from job loss, eviction, and homelessness. We bought two pizzas at Aldi, one pepperoni for me and one supreme for her. She ate her pizza some night that week, I hadn't eaten mine yet.
One day later that week, I'd been thinking about my pizza all day at work. I'd been living on a diet mostly of ramen noodles, pasta and sauce / butter, etc. and I was really craving that pizza. When I got home from work, I found my pizza was gone. Despite having other food in the apartment (chef boyardee, ramen, whatever else) and despite knowing that the pizza was earmarked for me (after all, she had an entire pizza of her preferred type for herself), I found that she had eaten it anyway because she "wanted it."
I was practically heartbroken. That pizza and her eating of it was symbolic of every decision she had made that showed a total disregard for me - every job she quit when we couldn't afford it for stupid reasons (and there were many), every makeup purchase she made when we didn't have enough money for food, every flirty text she sent to other men on our shared laptop knowing I'd see it next time I opened the computer.
That was the last crack in the dam. I asked for a divorce a short while later and while we split relatively amicably, I will forever attribute our incompatibility to her lack of consideration for others.
It actually still puts a horrible feeling in my stomach just thinking about that stupid pizza.
22/26. She had been telling me to get a girlfriend. She refused sex for months. I put my arm around her one night in bed and she said "DO. NOT. TOUCH. ME."
That was the moment I decided to take her up on her suggestion to find a girlfriend. I eventually did, and then she said "good. You can keep the house and I won't ask for a dime in alimony if you cover court costs and sign every paper without complaint. "
It was the most civil divorce ever, and the entire thing cost me about $300.
Many years later, and I still believe that girlfriend was the best decision I ever made in the area of relationships, even though she turned out to be an apesh*t crazy raging alcoholic.
23/26. When everything I did was being "addicted". I'm not that much of a gamer type, but when I found a game I liked on Playstation, 2 non-adjacent nights of playing a game I enjoyed was "addicted to gaming" and resulted in a huge outburst how I don't give her enough time any more. Meanwhile she was so addicted to casual games on her phone that any conversation was more of a monologue where she was just annoyed about interruptions.
There were many other similar things. It often revolved around me enjoying something and that becoming a problem. Eventually I just realized she had some kind of an issue with me being happy doing things and we called it. After we parted ways a friend of mine told me my ex told everyone she ended it on her own as I was interested in everything else but her.
24/26. When he handed several spreadsheets laying out every time I stopped for a drink at McDonalds ($1) on my way to/from running errands across the city in the desert. He then took my bank atm card and cut it up. Because I got a drink, wasn't allowed to use or have any cash, it all had to be accounted for at all times. I couldn't handle living under a microscope anymore.
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25/26. We were only married for 6 months before it was clear that it wasn't going to work out. There were little clues that become hard to ignore after a while, such as her becoming jealous of any time that I spent with my family, becoming more argumentative and irrational, spending all day watching TV and not helping around the house, getting pregnant from another man, leaving dirty laundry and dishes laying everywhere, and just generally being distant and hard to talk to.
I'm not sure that it was any one thing. After all of the heart to heart discussions that we had, and legal proceedings, and restraining orders, and her blackmail attempts with the married father, I started to wonder if maybe the marriage might have been a mistake.
I remember the judge had offered some kind words of encouragement that I will always appreciate, he said "This is all your fault for marrying someone who is capable of doing this". He also offered to share my paycheck with her until the paternity was verified, which was nice of him. It helped us keep a dialog open. I would send her child support, and she would send me medical bills. It's the little things that you miss when someone is gone.
Eventually, we just stopped seeing each other at court and lost touch. I'm not sure of whatever happened to her. I think about her sometimes and wonder how things are going for her, if she's happy, or if she ever found true love. I keep checking the obituaries for any news, but so far nothing. It's funny how people can just drift apart.
26/26. On our wedding night, I complemented his performance in bed. He said he performed well that night so I would stop cheating. (strike 1)
Him leaving the hospital when I was in labor with our daughter because I was whiny. It stressed him out. For me to be whiny. (strike 2)
Him disappearing from our hotel room when we were out of town. He didn't get back until 4 am. (strike 3)
We tried counseling, but he refused to stop drinking. He'd also take over every session to tell me how much of a piece of sh*t I was and remind me how wonderful he was. The counselor would stop him each time, but really?!?
As a newly engaged person, this was not the tread to read....
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You catch more flies with honey than with vinegar, or so the saying goes.
The same can be said for your interactions with cops, most of whom are perfectly happy to let minor infractions slide––When was the last time you were actually ticketed for jaywalking?––provided you're not a total Karen should you interact them.
Your local police officer likely doesn't care about jaywalking or the fact that you went five miles over the speed limit unless you give him a reason to, as we learned when Redditor Takdel asked police officers: "What stupid law have you enforced just because someone was an a-hole?"