Heartbroken Men Reveal The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce.
Divorced men of Reddit were asked: "What moment with your future ex-wife made you think 'Yup, I'm asking this girl for a divorce'?" These are some of the best answers.
2/26 I had a car accident. Lost my job. Was still depressed about family member passing away. My wife decides she really wants a gold watch that costs $999. I tell her I can't afford to spend money on something like that in our current situation. She shuts herself in the bathroom to cry. That was the first time I didn't react to that tactics. She comes out few hours later and asks me outright if I want a divorce. Which wasn't even on my mind until that point. But that was the moment I knew.
3/26 She called the police to say she suspected me of abusing our child. They arrested me, investigated, apologized and released me.
4/26 When I found evidence of her having an affair on her phone and confronted her, so she assaulted me, and then called the cops. Then got a protective order on me, got it extended with a hyperbolic and half-truth affidavit to include kicking me out of our home and taking my son away.
I realized it somewhere between her mom calling the cops on me the next day for "stealing everything in our home" and being served the protection order. The cops felt so bad for me. I've had to talk to them 3 different times and all of them realize what a spin she's playing.
Just waiting for my day in court.
5/26 When, with my three children (9-7-6) standing beside me, screamed about god knows what that time, told me to just go somewhere and die. Then to the kids "Wouldn't it be better?!!?"
Done. Kids don't need that.
6/26 My ex-wife cheated on me during some hard times. I forgave her and moved passed it (or thought I did, and it was hard). 4 months later, after getting her a new car for her birthday, and housing her best friend for a week, she gets on my Facebook through my computer. Reads through all my messages, and starts flipping out that I messaged this girl, an innocent question. So she's screaming and yelling and running around like, attacking me, etc.
I decided she was [definitely not for me], and also that she probably was still cheating on me to be projecting like that. Decided we would get a divorce right then.
7/26 My ex and I were watching Knocked Up. It came to the scene where the wife is tracking the husband down to catch him while he was "cheating". Turns out he had just sneaked away to go to a baseball draft. My ex turned to me and said "See how terrible and selfish he is for sneaking around like that?"
I looked at her and said "See how terrible she is for oppressing his hobbies and dreams so much that he has to resort to sneaking around in order to enjoy them?"
I realized right then that she'd done that to me. She had oppressed me. Chained me with guilt over my hobbies being immature and childish. Guilt-tripped me because my hobbies took time away from her. She would never take up any hobbies or interests of her own despite me encouraging her.
That was 7 years ago. I'm now remarried to a wonderful woman. We support each other in our hobbies and interests. We have 2 more beautiful children together.
8/26 When she dropped me off on a major highway in Florida with no cell, no money, my dog and a bag of clothes. That is when I made the choice: this woman's getting a divorce.
9/26 The last year together we felt more like roommates than lovers. She stopped being interested in spending time with me, stopped showering together, sleeping at opposite times, her being generally unhappy all of the time.
I really wanted to salvage the marriage, but I knew it was over when she finally told me that she just didn't love me.
10/26 When she started waking me up in the middle of the night screaming and hitting me.
11/26 I get a text message telling me my grandma, who was my favorite relative throughout childhood, who I walked down the aisle when she got married, died. I said to my wife, "My grandma just died." She said, "Can we go get ice cream?" I repeated myself, "I just found out my grandma died." She said, "So does this mean we can't get ice cream?"
That's when I knew I couldn't be married to her forever (we have two children). The final straw was when, after years of begging me to open our relationship (she told me it was unfair to not let her sleep around), I finally lamented and told her we could open it up and she could see other people if she wanted. She flew into a rage, told me she had been "baiting" me (not lying or manipulating in her words, years worth of innocently baiting me), and that she could not believe the betrayal she felt when I told her I didn't care if she slept with other people anymore. She then took the kids to her parents several states away and I spent Christmas and New Years alone.
12/26 When she started teasing me about how much sex she had with her ex during a dead bedroom period.
13/26 The minute Child Protective Services showed up at our door because she had a habit of leaving them unattended in public. Also the morning she woke up and looked at me and said "I'm done, I don't want to be here anymore." What a mess.
14/26 When the Sheriff showed up with an eviction notice. She had secretly been grabbing the house payment checks out of the mail before the mailman, withdrawing the money from the bank and buying oxycontin. She always seemed so eager to get the mail, it didn't click that she was also intercepting the late notices, and eventually eviction notices. I knew she was struggling with a pill addiction, and I had been trying to help her overcome it, but the rabbit hole went so much deeper than I ever knew.
She died of an overdose two years after we divorced.
15/26 When I came home a day earlier than scheduled from a training exercise to find her getting tag-teamed by two other dudes.
16/26 It was when she got absolutely furious with me that I hadn't done the dishes, vacuumed the floors, done laundry, or taken out the trash during the day.
Twist: Didn't get done because I was at work.
17/24 Probably when she punched me in the face when I was asleep in bed. She had broken my nose about 2 months earlier when she was drunk and [ticked] off and I had told her that the next time would be the last. I called the cops on her and she was arrested, looked like some kind of wild banshee being hauled off into the night. It was a pretty easy decision to file for divorce at that point since we had no children. Together 6 years, married 1 1/2.
18/24 When she cheated on me in Afghanistan (both of us were there).
19/24 The day she showed up with a boob job and new boyfriend. I wanted to sue for the right one, but my lawyer didn't like that idea. I wanted my half!
20/24 Just between us got along great, but over time her and my daughter's relationship got worse and worse. I try not to blame her she just wasn't ready to be a mom to someone else's child even though it was hard to accept that. We tried counselling briefly but she felt counselling is for "crazy people" and she's not crazy. So me and my daughter left, I hoped she would change her mind and decide to work things out, but it didn't happen, have to do what's right for my daughter even if it hurts.
21/24 When I woke up to go to work and found the dude sleeping on my living room floor (she had gone out the night before and I went to bed) was the final straw. The stealing, lying and suspected cheated all confirmed that morning. I did get the kids permanently though while she eventually went to prison shortly after.
22/24 My wife rubbed the nose of our 6 month old daughter into her potty accident.
23/26 I didn't know it at the time, but looking back, it was when our 2-year-old daughter died. Things changed at that moment. That was five years ago. We lumped along for awhile pretending everything was OK and I actually believed everything was going to be OK. Earlier this year she told me out of the blue that she didn't love me anymore, hadn't for a long time, and she was leaving me. She left.
24/24 When she left me in Louisiana to go to California to meet a man she found on the Internet. Had to explain to a 12 year old daughter that her mommy was not coming home. It was after the cops came to see me for me to file a missing persons report that I realized I didn't HAVE to take her back. Sure, the next two weeks sucked, but as days went by, I realized I could get rid of my biggest problem in life.
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