26 People Reveal The Kinky Sex They Tried That Went Horribly Wrong.

People on Reddit were asked: "What fetish did you try that went horribly wrong?" These are some of the best answers.



1/26 Pop Rocks blowjob when I was younger. Take my advice, don't do it. It feels like your dick is navigating poorly through an asteroid field.

TON3R

2/26 Back when I was a horny teen around easter I got my boyfriend to put a Cadbury's creme egg up my vagina. I have no idea why or how it came about but it happened. The problem is that moments after it was up there it started melting. Chocolate and fondant everywhere. We panicked and started to try and scoop it out. It hurt a lot. After trying to figure out how to deal with the situation there was a knock on the door my mother. I walked past her like a duck and took the most painful bath ever leaving my boyfriend at the time mortified. Would never do again.

LittleLittleGremlin

3/26 Me and the lady tried to incorporate whip cream into our sexy time, we didn't have any so thought that honey would be just as hot and freaky....it's not, it's way too sticky. Fun fact: when you are covered in honey any pet hair that may be in your house is magically drawn to you. Ugh, it was awful.

KidGrundle

4/26 Texted my girlfriend in the morning to blindfold herself and be naked in the living room on her knees waiting for me when I got home. Forgot about it by the end of the day (and it wouldn't be unusual that she'd ignore my suggestion anyways).

Ran into the neighbor on my way into the apartment building. "Sure come on up and I'll give you back that DVD I borrowed" Was a little embarrassing for everyone (and no, it didn't lead to an impromptu threesome)

evilmonkey2

5/26 I tried tying my wife up. It just felt awkward. Neither of us could really get into it. I just untied her and we watched X-Files.

CDC_



6/26 In the bathtub. I am built like slender man; really tall and bony. It was painful. Then in the middle of it, I felt a moist moving sensation on my knee. Martha, the american bulldog was licking my knee. I knocked out a lot of firsts that day.

Swing_Wildly

7/26 Tried putting my penis in a vagina. It went ok I guess. But it was messy afterwards and long story short now there are two small humans running around my house just f*cking up all my stuff and preventing me from consuming dank memes 24/7. It's a problem.

paper_liger

8/26 Sex swing. Bought one for g/f's apt. I was hanging it up to the roof in these shitty apartments while she was at work. Got it up and decided to test it before putting her in it. Sat down. Put a little more of my weight on it. Lifted one foot off the ground, then another. Sat for a second, her a pop and crack. I looked up and the bolts broke free of the rafter. I'm staring up at a 5-10 pound steel bar falling right into my forehead as my ass hits the ground. I'm not sure how long I was out for, but I awoke on the floor half-wrapped in a leopard print sex swing.

Aubear11885

9/26 A few years ago, I began watching a lot of anal porn. I was a little hesitant about trying it, but it looked hot, especially when it came to women using sex toys on their pussies while a guy pounded away at her arse. I was curious and wanted to try it. I was in a long distance relationship at the time, so we talked about it in preparation for the next visit; I had a shiny new butt plug and a plethora of lube ready to go. Unlike porn, it wasn't quite as straightforward. I underestimated the results. We went at it for a bit and it felt good; he finished and I went to clean myself up.

I was unprepared for the marching band of cum farts that emitted from my newly discovered sweet spot. This was before we were fully comfortable letting rip in front of each other, so imagine the horror on my face when I realize that he can hear this roaring beast from the next room. The farts alone I might have been okay with, but the splattering detonation of semen made it sound like there was some explosive diarrhoea going on. We ended up laughing about it, but at the time, it was terrible. Still wouldn't stop me from trying anal again though.

aylaaaa

10/26 Had a girl tell me she likes it rough. I think "not really my style but we can try I guess". I put on the condom, go in and she slaps me hard across the face. I lose my boner, sex is over. We broke up a week later and she tried to convince me she's pregnant with my kid... that was the only sexual encounter we'd even had. She still sends me Facebook friend requests almost a decade later.

InfamyDeferred


11/26 My birthday was this last weekend. My wife of 7 years finally said I could ram her bum. I was so excited I came in about 10 seconds. She started laughing and said, "Wrong hole".

luckyalphex

12/26 Me and the wife tried some of that couples lube that when combined made you feel awesome. It combined all right, just like water on a damn grease fire. We were both burning so bad we ended up laughing till we could barely breath fighting over the shower head lol.

tieberion

13/26 Spanking. Kind of tame but I hit her to hard and she cried... F*ck me.

Truebeansguy

14/26 I was dating a girl for a few months who smoked a lot of pot. She wanted to get me high and have sex (keep in mind, I had smoked plenty of times in the past, but I generally end up getting paranoid, and I'm just not really a fan).

Anyway, she got me high. I got paranoid and twitchy. She told me I could put it in her butt (this wasn't her first anal experience). Anyway, being a little freaked out and twitchy, I went hard on that ass, and I apparently didn't use nearly enough lube. After I came, she went to the bathroom to clean up. That's when she yelled out to me while sitting on the toilet, "I think you made my asshole bleed... oh, yup. My asshole is definitely bleeding"

Hearing this while still in my state of paranoia made me even more freaked out. I tried apologizing to her numerous times, but every time she said, "Don't worry, it's okay" I didn't believe her. It's pretty funny in retrospect, but I was a mess while it was happening.

Biff_Tannenator

15/26 Spanking. He got me to count out loud as he was doing them. My brain then thought it was hilarious to start doing so in a Count Von Count fashion. 'One spank, ah ha ha'....

ColdEthyl13



16/26 Not really a fetish, I don't think? Boyfriend wanted to try and go down on me in the shower. He's about 30 seconds in and starts coughing and choking bad. He basically almost drowned in the shower, while going down on me. I told him if he had died, we could have put on his gravestone: Died drowning in pussy.

OctopusPopsicle

17/26 Making mad, passionate love in a swimming pool....which is ironically very dry.

Scrappy_Larue

18/26 Well in the glory days of college I brought home a random girl from the bar. We were going at it doggy style and and in my drunken stupor I was pretty sure I heard her say, "Stick it in my ass". But apparently it was something more along the lines of, "Do you like lookin' at my ass". Needless to say we didn't finish and she pretty much cried herself to sleep.

just4_2day

19/26 Footjob but the girl had toe fungus.

yonsickles22

20/26 She told me that getting head from a girl with mints in her mouth was just heaven, so we gave it a go. But she didn't have any mints. Or any mint chewing gum, or chewing gum at all. What she did have though, was those melt in your mouth strips that come from Wrigleys, and the like. Buuut, it wasn't mint, but Big Red cinnamon. Okay, whatever, same diff, right?

Possibly, but we didn't get to find out. Turns out you have to let those suckers really melt on your tongue, and swish them around your mouth with some saliva to get them going. She just threw it in to her gob, and went to town on me.The entire strip just came out of her mouth, and landed on the head of my wang, and started melting away there.

Jesus Suffering F*ck, it was as if it was one of those chemical self fire starter things, out to start the next Fire of London. I leapt off of the bed, kneeing her in the jaw in the process, out in to the adjacent kitchen, and got my dick in to the closest source of water, which turned out to be dirty dish water, in a pint glass. Picked it up, lowered it down, and raised it up to dunk my dick in it. F*ck, that hurt. I also had to reach in, and peel the decaying strip off of my glans, as it was still there and wouldn't just fall away in to the water.

Only then, naked, heaving and covered in panic-sweat, did I shudderingly acknowledge and apologize to the two other girls sitting at the kitchen table drinking wine. It was going on thirteen years ago now, and my stomach was all clenched up just writing this.

wet-paint

21/26 Butt play with a vibrator that was too small and it got stuck up inside her. She had to sit on the stool, push like she going no 2, and I had to use my fingers to pull it out. She was in near hysterics yelling "I don't want to have to go to the emergency room!!!". I was able to calm her down a bit and she finally was able to release it. I was trying hard not to laugh but I did. She was mad but eventually forgave me.

mks10

22/26 My girlfriend of two years told me to lay down and trust her. I did, she then proceeded to pour hot oil all over my body while I was tied up and blind folded. It hurt and my tits were red for a hot minute.

Myf*ckingheadhurts

23/26 I was having sex with my whore of an ex wife, and during I felt a little adventurous. I said, "Baby, get that finger in my ass!"

Two seconds later I said, "Baby, get that finger out of my ass!"

Dances_With_Labias

24/26 Not sure if fetish. I think I know why. My boyfriend at the time excitedly told me we were going to try something new he had heard about! Hell yeah, I'm always up for new stuff. If you fill a 20oz soda bottle with water, freeze it, then leave it out a bit, it melts down into a perfect dick-shaped dildo! How exciting!

This....this is not fun. At all. I'm sure I got frost-bite all the way up to my uterus. I learned to be cautious of a young infantryman's sexperiments. But not before we tried that cherry popsicle....

SlayerChartzilla

25/26 Oh boy. I've done quite a bit, as I always followed the "don't knock it till you try it" mantra. This immediately comes to mind, though, as I used to date an incredibly kinky woman. I didn't stay with anyone long if they weren't creative and adventurous. And before you ask, most BDSM is considered light to vanilla by my tastes.

Anyway, I'll rename her Lucy. Lucy was about 5'10 with a figure like an hourglass where everything went to the bottom half of the hourglass. Pear shaped extreme? Dunno. Face sitting was a big thing of hers. So was food stuff and mess play and a bunch of other stuff but for this story the ones named were important.I'll cut the extra droll details of setup and the origin of various fetishes and get right to the point. Lucy wanted to f*ck in a bathtub full of BBQ beans. Yeah.

So one Saturday we go to Sam's Club and buy a bunch of mega packs of beans. We'd done a bunch before and after this so this was just our current weekend, we'd be on to something else after this, so setup was pretty fast. I'd never done this exact thing. Anyway. I'm a pretty thin guy, around 130lb at the time. Lucy is a thick concubine of about 165 I think. So we're in the tube trying to figure this out. I remember how oily this shit felt. It was like sticky and slippery at the same time. Eventually we're both just brown and covered in this stuff. Lucy wants me to eat her out and stands up and hefts that huge ass she had back at me and I start going to town. The taste was... Yeah. Vagina and beans. Pretty much. Anyway. Beans are slippery remember. About 20 seconds into this Lucy slips, knocks me back, I go UNDER THE BEANS, and she's now on my face holding me down because the tub isn't that big honestly and she's on top of me in an awkward position myself while I'm under for like 20 seconds about to drown in ass and beans.

BLASPHEMOUS_ERECTION

26/26 Semi-public sex in high school. We went under a bridge. It was kind of muddy and gross, and there were ducks hanging out close by. I couldn't focus on pounding my gf because I was concerned that a duck was going to bite my balls while i was distracted.

deadbird17

Source


Share by clicking below!

In most situations, when you're hurt by someone, it can be best to just forgive and forget. However, there are some people that can't help but hold grudges. Sometimes it can just be petty, but other times, it can be for very valid reasons.

HeySistaBrutus asked: What are you STILL mad about?

Keep reading... Show less