30 People Share The Biggest 'Lazy Genius' Moment Of Their Lives.

We've all had moments where we just couldn't put in our full effort, but it's a beautiful thing when that ends up working out for us.

Here are thirty of the laziest things people have done that were absolutely brilliant.

Many thanks to Reddit user weareflitter for posing this question. You can check out more answers from the source at the end of this article!


1/30. I use my blender often for shakes, so to clean it, I squeeze in dish soap, and turn it on. Then rinse. To me it just makes sense but my ex called me a genius for that one.

WTFNameIsntTaken

2/30. I pointed my laser pointer at my door so my cat would close it.

Anonymous


3/30. I was out of clean dishes, so rather than wash a single dish I wrapped a dirty plate in plastic wrap and ate off it.

It was both my worst and my best day.

Subduction

4/30. I have a nike fuelband, the one that records your movement and translates it into 'fuel' points. Anyway, the nike twitter account held a competition where the person who racked up the most points each day for five days won a big prize. Looking at some of the winner from previous days, they were winning with scores from 10k-15k points, my personal best was only about 4k.

Next day, I decided to go for it... by cheating. I put my fuelband into a ball of socks and put it in my washing machine and set it to a spin cycle (no water), then I went and watched some TV with my housemate. I kept going back to put it on another spin cycle every few ad breaks.

In the end I got the most points that day and I won 4 tickets to go see Manchester United vs. Manchester City in April, a signed Manchester United Shirt, and 4 more Nike Fuelbands which are meant to be for my friends.

superlazydude

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5/30. I used to put my dog's bed by the radiator in the winter, then once he'd been there for about 10 minutes I'd call him up to come sit on my lap.

Once he'd returned to ambient temperature I told him to go back in his bed. Rinse, repeat. Self warming hot water dog.

mattmagoo

6/30. In kindergarten, we had an assignment to take little shreds of construction paper, put glue on them and stick them to a larger piece of construction paper to make a picture.

Half out of laziness and half out of pure genius, I drew the picture with the glue and then dumped the bowl of paper shreds on top. After turning the paper over and shaking off the excess shreds, I had my completed picture in seconds.

I got in trouble and had to miss recess that day. It's my only memory from kindergarten and it still bugs me to this day. I think that is our education system in a microcosm.

Teachers, please don't stifle your kids' ingenuity.

Tribat_1

7/30. I was trying to find a parking spot at the mall around Christmas time.

I turned down an aisle where a car was just stopped in the center waiting until someone showed up to leave. I couldn't go around him so I waited behind him.

I noticed someone heading back to their car about to come down our aisle. The car in front of me hadn't noticed him yet. I had my wife get out the car and start walking towards the end of the aisle as if she was going back to her car. The car in front of me took the bait and followed her to the end of the aisle, while I took the actual spot that just recently opened.

SinisterKid

8/30. I once had a job that required me to create directories and apply permissions.

Every day I got a spreadsheet with the changes needing to be made and when I started they were a few weeks behind. So instead of creating directories I just wrote a program that took the data from the spreadsheet and automatically created the folder structure and applied permissions.

My entire work day consisted of me double clicking once in the morning. The rest of the time was browsing.

runew0lf


9/30. I used to pretend to be asleep after car rides so my dad would have to carry me inside.

Cenlei

10/30. Had to write a paper on Existentialism. Had to write a paper on Billy Budd. Wrote one paper on the existentialist aspects of Billy Budd and turned copies in for each course.

rodereau

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11/30. Made appointments to show a car I was selling with two different buyers for the same date and time. They effectively ended up bidding against each other and I sold it for much more than I expected.

Atario

12/30. The smartest laziest thing I've done is teach my 8 year old son how to make scrambled eggs.

He loves cooking, feels accomplished, needs minor supervision, and now cooks us dinner once a week, and is happy to do it.

I sit at the kitchen table and relax/read and keep an eye on him, but he feels independent and I get a much needed break.

It's awesome.

mehday2day

13/30. When I installed my garage door opener, I mounted the button at the height of my forehead.

That way, when I am carrying bags of delicious bacon into the house, I can close the door with a gentle head butt.

clintmemo


14/30. My parents asked me to sweep the driveway of leaves. So I attached the vacuum hose to the exhaust port on an old shop vac and blew them away with my makeshift leafblower.

My parents grounded me.

TestZero

15/30. Not me, but my grandfather.

He woke up one day, smoked the last three cigarettes in his pack, and was too lazy to get dressed to go to the gas station.

He's been smoke free for 10 years (and counting) because of it.

Jhzanto

16/30. Started brushing my teeth in the shower. Saves a bunch of time in the morning.

prinknash

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17/30. Not sure of the legalities involved on this one but hear me out.

Step 1: Go to local thrift store find large items for sale like furniture, power scooters, bikes, or what ever.

Step 2: Take many photos of the things that may seem valuable.

Step 3: Post the them to Craigslist to attract buyers but at a higher price.

Step 4: Buy whatever the customer replied to on Craigslist and sell it to them for profit.

No risk involved, if it's already sold then just call them and say "Hey it's already been bought, or I took a better offer"

TheSilverOne

18/30. Worked nights/weekends for a big company. I was the only guy with a desk job that worked after 5pm.

I wrote a 3000+ line bash script over the course of years that automated my job... for the last 18-24 months I've worked there.

I literally would clock in, watch movies, bbq, eat food, nap, then clock out.

Anonymous


19/30. When I'm sick I get tired of always wiping my nose and it gets really sore and dry if I do it too much so instead I just shove tissue up my nostrils like a walrus. A tissue walrus.

Anonymous

20/30. I stopped going above and beyond at work. If you're irreplaceable, you will never move up.

I learned how to say, "No, I can't take on that task for you" instead of putting in overtime doing other people's jobs. As soon as I did what was expected of me and very little more, I got a raise and promotion to a position that requires even less work.

Anonymous


21/30. My four year old nephew, in a display of sheer genius, tied a shoelace to a tree and ran it to the hammock so he could rock himself while laying down.

catiefsm

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22/30. I used to live in an apartment complex that required my to press the # 9 key on my phone to let someone into the complex if they phoned from the gate. So on our voice-mail recording I left a message ending with myself pressing the number '9' on the keypad. If/when I or my roommates would get locked out of our pad, we simply had to dial up our room and at the end of the VM message, the door would unlock.

aproxia

23/30. When I worked at my church's summer camp, I always helped run the games section for the kids. Whenever it neared the end of the day, I would turn the cleanup into a game saying whoever got the most cones or balls, wins. So instead of me and two other volunteers picking up cones and balls for 5 minutes, 30 2nd and 3rd graders would rush around and pick them up in 15 seconds.

Lesson of the day: Kids will do pretty much any simple task if you turn it into a game.

Ferdaayz

24/30. In kindergarten, we had to color these animals and then cut them out. I decided to color way outside the lines because I was only going to cut them out anyway. I was the first one done and explained to my teacher how I did it. (I was extremely proud.) I got time-out for being a genius.

heylookitsscott

25/30. At the IT support center I used to work at, I got a daily task of working a specific queue, where about 40 cases were false duplicates every day, and only 3 actual cases. Due to the report system we had to do even for false duplicates, they took about 30 seconds each to fill out.

I recorded a mouse+keyboard run of my entering the top ticket on the list, filling it out, saving and closing it. Every day before running it on repeat (so do it until there were no more tickets), I would work on the three actual cases. After that, I could have that thing run for ~25 minutes (had to be slower in case of issues) and it would solve all the cases.

The best part was, it would run in a virtual machine, so I could go out of the virtual machine and the virtual mouse/keyboard would still run, while I could use my mouse/keyboard on my physical machine. Excellent.

teh_i

26/30. Attached a balloon to my television remote so my remote never gets lost!

Emerica586

27/30. When I was a freshman in high school I was a member of the "academic team." Which is essentially a group of kids who got together once a week for competitions doing trivia questions. During one of the competitions there was a challenge to create some sort of aircraft from paper, and the one that went the furthest would win the challenge and receive a certain amount of points. Anyways, our group took the paper and made a paper ball, easily outclassing all the paper airplane that other groups made and winning the competition.

AlphaVolk

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28/30. When I was about 14 I got a job posting leaflets for a DIY shop. I was getting paid 50 for posting 5000. I asked my two best friends to help me post them and offered 10 each for posting 2500....

I still haven't told them about that to this day.

My-name-is-URL

29/30. When I make a can of soup for myself, I just use the pot as a bowl. Half the dishes and a stability handle.

Kronouranos

30/30. For last year's Black Friday, I really wanted a game (Borderlands 2 for more than 50% off) that was an 8pm door buster at Walmart. Knowing the hell that would go down, I decided to wait and go almost exactly 24-hrs later.

I had a feeling that people from the night before probably grabbed them without actually wanting them or even knowing what they were and then later discarded them somewhere randomly in the store.

I was right. I went to the game department and say them bringing back full carts of games to be restocked. Had no problem getting a copy.

jarrettbraun


Bonus:

If the remote is out of reach I just start calling my partner horrible names and hope it's one of the first things to hit me.

Ghostshirts


Source.

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You catch more flies with honey than with vinegar, or so the saying goes.

The same can be said for your interactions with cops, most of whom are perfectly happy to let minor infractions slide––When was the last time you were actually ticketed for jaywalking?––provided you're not a total Karen should you interact them.

Your local police officer likely doesn't care about jaywalking or the fact that you went five miles over the speed limit unless you give him a reason to, as we learned when Redditor Takdel asked police officers: "What stupid law have you enforced just because someone was an a-hole?"

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