32 Embarrassed People Share The Things They Realized Waaaaay Too Late In Life.

Everybody has something that they were wrong about. But a lot of the more mundane day-to-day things get whittled away in time until we basically have some rough idea of what's going on around us.

But some things slip through the cracks...

Here are thirty-two things people believed for waaaaay too long.

Many thanks to Reddit user for posing this question. you can check out more answers from the source at the end of this article!

1/32. I learned that "blowjob" didn't mean "hair styling", two years after a girl offered me one, and I said I liked my hair the way it was. I was fourteen when she inquired.


2/32. When I was a kid I thought that a vagina was an inverted penis, and as a result of that women had boobs, thus, if you pushed a woman's breasts hard enough, her vagina would flip out into a penis.


3/32. Until I was 13 I thought the numbers on toasters were a heat setting, not minutes.


4/32. I thought Mufasa was the monkey in the lion king.... I don't know how I thought that for so long.


5/32. I learned what marital status was when I about 18. For some reason I always read it as martial status, as in martial arts. I took karate when I was younger so on my first few job applications I wrote "yellow belt" instead of single.


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6/32. I only learned a few years ago that the phrase is, "For all intents and purposes" not "For all intensive purposes."


7/32. Familiar with MJ's song "I saw mommy kissing Santa Clause?" For 26 years I thought to myself, what a cheating, unfaithful b*tch. Then it dawned on me that the Santa was the dad.


8/32. I didn't realize that water towers were for water pressure. I thought that they were an emergency supply of water.


9/32. Eeyore is the sound a donkey makes.


10/32. I finally realized that soft drinks are called soft drinks because there's no alcohol in them and alcohol makes something a "hard drink".


11/32. "BLT" stands for Bacon Lettuce Tomato and not Bread Lettuce Tomato. Evil parents.


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12/32. The Kay Jewel commercials always have the slogan "Every kiss begins with Kay". And it was only about a year ago I realized it was a play-on-words, kiss begins with "k". (I'm 23).

Then I figured no one else knew either and tried explaining it to people, which of course they already understood it. So that was also the day I realized I'm dumb.


13/32. When I was maybe 13 or 14 years old, I heard the phrase "doggie-style" for the first time. I had no idea what it meant, but I thought it sounded cool. So I started to use it in regular conversation.

All. The. Time.

I'd be eating dinner with my parents and ask my dad to "pass me the peas, doggie-style." My parents were confused. My friends never said a word.

And then I figured out what it really meant.


14/32. That the words to La Bamba are NOT "La la la la bamba".

I speak spanish and i didn't know this until i was singing along to it in my car with my latina girlfriend this last spring and she said, "You know those aren't the words, right?"

Mind blown.

The proper words for that part: Para bailar La Bamba...


15/32. It took me 19 years to realize that women use toilet paper when they pee.


16/32. Growing up I thought there was such a thing as a "Super Salad" in all restaurants.

Later I realized the waitress was saying, "Soup or salad?"


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17/32. I was at least in late high school, maybe college freshman, when I realized that when Sylvia Plath (and others) killed herself by "sticking her head in the oven" she was suffocating on gas, not cooking her head.


18/32. I thought magnesium was a miracle drug since it was always listed on my medication.

Then I realized mg stands for milligrams.


19/32. One of my favorite bands was always Blink 182... I didn't get "take off your pants and jacket."


20/32. This isn't me, but rather a close, yet very ditsy friend.

The other day in class another student started to flicker the lights on and off. My ditsy friend immediately yelled "Don't do that." When everyone looked at her she said "It will call 911." After the entire class recovered from crying and rolling all over the floor laughing she explained to us that her parents had told her that it calls 911 at a young age to keep her from flickering the lights.


21/32. Alaska isn't an island.

In school, the maps of the US showed all the states with Hawaii and Alaska in the corner and not touching anything else. I assumed it was an island like Hawaii. I learned I was wrong when in high school, I said you'd need a boat to get to Alaska...


22/32. Credit score determines your interest, not just whether or not you get the loan.


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23/32. It took me forever to understand the expression "you can't have your cake, and eat it too."

I thought, "well, why the hell not? It's YOUR cake isn't it?!"


24/32. When I was young I tried to be cool and say I wanted a "Roman Coke". I was told it's actually a "rum and coke." Lame.


25/32. I was well into my 20's when someone told me that the only reason my mom had me buy shoes with two finger lengths worth of room in the toes was so I wouldn't grow out of them so fast.

I had been wearing shoes a half size too big ever since my feet stopped growing.


26/32. I would like to preface this, by saying that I am an immigrant, and moved to the United States after the collapse of the Soviet Union. My dad bought me a nintendo, and my favorite game was Super Mario Bros. 2. For some reason I always thought that it said Supper Mario 2, and the fact that Mario was holding a turnip in his hands, kind of confirmed this belief.

It was not until much later, that I learned what Super meant, and then it all fell in to place.


27/32. I was pretty old when I realized that there was a bigger hole down there than the hole that the pee was coming out of. The whole time I was thinking "How the fuck is a penis supposed to fit in there? And a baby come out? Forget about it!!"

The first time I used a tampon I had no idea where to put it, so I just kinda laid it between the lips and then I went sledding (I was like 15). It was quite uncomfortable and ineffective.


28/32. Well, yesterday I taught my boyfriend about how a gas pump automatically shuts off when the tank is full. He thought that if you didn't prepay it would just overflow everywhere until you shut it off yourself.

He turned 20 on Monday.


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29/32. I always thought the slogan was, "Nobody does it like Sara Lee." I figured out surprisingly recently that it's, "Nobody doesn't like Sara Lee."

So, basically, their grammar sucks, and so does their food.


30/32. It wasn't until I was an adult that I realized "starving artist" means "broke artsy type" and not someone who is figuratively hungry for new artistic vistas and greater artistic truth.


31/32. Rotate your tires. They rotate all the time. Why would you need to take them to a shop to have them rotated?


32/32. I learned that typically each family member has their own toothbrush. My family would always use one from a communal pot of toothbrushes, then throw it in the dishwasher after each use... college was an embarrassing wakeup call.



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"It wasn't me!"

There's not much you can do when the righteous fist of the law comes down on you. Call it a mix-up, or call it a mistake, if someone's pegged you at the scene of a crime there's not much you can do but trust the justice system to prove you innocent. However, that's a gamble, and just because you've been given a "not guilty" doesn't mean the effects won't follow you for the rest of your life.

Reddit user, u/danbrownskin, wanted to hear about the times when it wasn't you, seriously, it was someone else, when they asked:

Redditors who were once considered suspect of a crime they did not commit, what's it like being held under suspicion and how did it affect your life?

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