44 Frustrating Laws That Would Definitely Be Passed If We Used 'Kid Logic'.
What if kid logic influenced our laws and daily lives? What changes would come to be?
Below are 44 frustrating (and hilarious) laws that would definitely exist if we used kid logic.
1. Punishment for breaking any law is a prison sentence of no less than one million bajillion years.
2. There would absolutely be a cooties epidemic.
3. Imagine going to court and you're appealing to something small like a speeding ticket and the cop who issued it is just like: "NUH UH I SAW IT YOU DID IT" and then you get a ticket.
4. The practice of filibustering is replaced with holding one's breath. Congress becomes marginally more effective as a result.
5. Whoever gets to their place of employment first, and climbs to the highest point in that workplace, is in charge.
6. Every time you lie, your pants light on fire, and you magically get dangled from the telephone wire.
7. Rock, Paper, Scissors will now be used to settle all international disputes. Wars will be ended as paper ensnares rock. There will be no takebacks or do-overs.
8. Every time you are first somewhere or do something first, you get a dunce cap that says "the worst", when you get somewhere second you get a crown that says "the best", when you are third, you get inexplicable amounts of hair on your chest.
9. If you say you love something, a marriage license is drawn up immediately.
10. If you ever kiss someone; you have to have a baby together. That's how babies are made.
11. Walking on the floor instead of furniture results in you dying in lava.
12. Lying becomes impossible when your pants immediate are set ablaze.
13. Every time you are first somewhere or do something first, you get a dunce cap that says "the worst", when you get somewhere second you get a crown that says "the best", when you are third, you get inexplicable amounts of hair on your chest.
14. Finders keepers losers weepers.
15. Presidents will be chosen by an elaborate game of "Eenie, Meenie, Miney, Mo"
16. Crime becomes rampant as all criminals evade police by shutting their eyes, as the law states that "if I can't see you, you can't see me." Everyone stays inside as much as possible to stay away from all of the crime. This causes a massive cootie epidemic forcing over a third of the population into exile via silent treatment. The massive drop in the labor force results in stocks plummeting and companies failing, so everyone loses their allowance and dies of hunger.
17. There are no longer concerts of talented musicians. There are concerts of hand clapping games (concentration, down down baby, miss susie had a steamboat, miss mary mack, oboe shenotintotin), the wiggles, the blue's clues theme song / other kids show theme songs.
18. Every time you step on a crack, you break your mother's back.
19. Assault and battery results in only a timeout in your room and no dessert after dinner.
20. There will be a small, underprivileged part of the population that are permanently It, no take backs, and they will be discriminated against heavily.
21. "Sir, you're under arrest."
"I know you are, but what am I?"
22. You can dig to China. And it will probably only take part of an afternoon.
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23. Any time you walk to or from anywhere you have to either hold onto a rope with little fabric rings to hold onto so you don't get lost or you have to anoint a line leader and a caboose.
24. You touched it last. It's your problem now. This would solve so many disputes.
25. Everytime you win something it's because the loser "wasn't even trying."
26. Currency will just be Tootsie-Roll-Pop wrappers with that Indian shooting a star.
27. Diabetes runs rampant in this bizarre new dystopian society, as nothing but ice cream and cookies are consumed.
28. Who ever smelt it, dealt it. Pretty much everyone sits in a room awkwardly, not wanting to bring up someone farted in fear of being blamed.
29. All contracts are now via "pinky-promise"
30. Chocolate milk comes from brown cows, while milk comes from white / black and white cows.
31. There are many small monarchies around the world because everyone gets to the top of a small incline or hill and declared him/herself king/queen of the world, but as there can be only one, there are small countries everywhere. Currency exchange and difference in laws is a bitch.
32. With just an hour or two, a pencil, some paper, and your brain, you can create your own language, that will quickly make English outdated.
33. Instead of coffee everyone has a fun dip packet or a giant pixie stick in the morning to get themselves ready for work.
34. No girls will be allowed in multiple places of business because they have cooties.
35. All guns are replaced with branches and finger guns, people have to pretend to be dead when someone says they shot you, and wars are settled with staring contests.
36. Money now grows on trees, crashing the world economy as Pokemon cards are the new currency and are traded with no real logic rules.
37. Every Restaurant serves these 8 things and only these 8 things: macaroni and cheese, chicken fingers / nuggets, burgers, grilled cheese, pizza, hot dogs, corn dogs, and noodles with butter and parmesan. Ice cream for dessert.
38. Oldest gets first dibs on whatever we watch and listen to and gets to ride shot gun because they were born first.
39. The only way to express your fondness/love for someone is to call them a name and tell them that they have a face only a mother would love.
40. There's no more football, soccer, hockey, basketball, etc. Now the professional leagues are for playing hide and seek, ghost in the graveyard, frogger, duck duck grey duck, tag, freeze tag, sardines, red rover, double dutch, red light green light, horse, simon says, marco polo, musical chairs, and telephone.
41. Any wound can be healed with a caress or a band aid.
42. Minecraft is now an Olympic sport.
43. Instead of swears there is now just doodoo head, dumb bunny, buttface, meanie head, spaz, dork brain, booger face, crybaby, and tattler.
44. Nobody knows how to tie their shoes.
In most situations, when you're hurt by someone, it can be best to just forgive and forget. However, there are some people that can't help but hold grudges. Sometimes it can just be petty, but other times, it can be for very valid reasons.
HeySistaBrutus asked: What are you STILL mad about?