65 Rules For Being A Man According To Elevator Gossip at Goldman Sachs.

We all know the employees at Goldman Sachs are busy as they run around in smart business suits from meeting to meeting. But when they pause for a second, waiting for the elevator to go up to the 45th floor, what sort of work gossip do they indulge in? As it turns out, mostly advice. The twitter account @GSElevator has documented many things heard in the Wall Street building. These are some of the best tips overheard about being a man.

1. Stop talking about where you went to college.
2. Always carry cash. Keep some in your front pocket.
3. Rebel from business casual. Burn your khakis and wear a suit or jeans.
4. Its ok to trade the possibility of your 80s and 90s for more guaranteed fun in your 20s and 30s.
5. Never stay out after midnight three nights in a row Unless something really good comes up on the third night.
6. You will regret your tattoos.
7. Never date an ex of your friend.
8. Join Twitter; become your own curator of information.
9. If riding the bus doesnt incentivise you to improve your station in life, nothing will.
10. Time is too short to do your own laundry.
11. When the bartender asks, you should already know what you want to drink.
12. If you perspire, wear a damn undershirt.

13. Hookers arent cool, but remember, the free ones are a lot more expensive.
14. When people dont invite you to a party, you really shouldnt go. And sometimes even when you are invited, you shouldnt go.
15. People are tired of you being the funny, drunk guy.
16. When in doubt, always kiss the girl.
17. Tip more than you should.
18. You probably use your mobile phone too often and at the wrong moments.
19. Buy expensive sunglasses. Superficial? Yes, but so are the women judging you. And it tells these women you appreciate nice things and are responsible enough not to lose them.
20. Do 50 push-ups, sit-ups, and dips before you shower each morning.
21. Eat brunch with friends at least every other weekend. Leave Rusty and Junior at home.
22. Be a regular at more than one bar.
23. Act like youve been there before. It doesnt matter if its in the end zone at the Super Bowl or on a private plane.
24. A glass of wine or two with lunch will not ruin your day.
25. Learn how to fly-fish.

26. No selfies. Aspire to experience photo-worthy moments in the company of a beautiful woman.
27. Own a handcrafted shotgun. Its a beautiful thing.
28. Theres always another level. Just be content knowing that you are still better off than most who have ever lived.
29. You can get away with a lot more if youre the one buying the drinks.
30. Ask for a salad instead of fries.
31. Dont split a check.
32. Pretty women who are unaccompanied want you to talk to them.
33. When a bartender buys you a round, tip double.
34. Be spontaneous.
35. Find a Times New Roman in the streets and a Wingdings in the sheets. She exists.
36. Piercings are liabilities in fights.
37. Do not use an electric razor.
38. Desserts are for women. Order one and pretend you dont mind that shes eating yours.

39. Buy a tuxedo before you are 30. Stay that size.
40. One girlfriend at a time is probably enough.
41. #StopItWithTheHastags
42. Your ties should be rolled and placed in a sectioned tie drawer.
43. Throw parties. But have someone else clean up the next day.
44. Measure yourself only against your previous self.
45. Take more pictures. With a camera.
46. Place-dropping is worse than-name dropping.
47. Your clothes do not match. They go together.
48. Yes, of course you have to buy her dinner.
49. Staying angry is a waste of energy.
50. If she expects the person you are 20% of the time, 100% of the time, then she doesnt want you.
51. Always bring a bottle of something to the party.

52. Dont use the word closure or ever expect it in real life.
53. If you are wittier than you are handsome, avoid loud clubs.
54. Date women outside your social set. Youll be surprised.
55. If its got velvet ropes and lines, walk away unless you know someone.
56. You cannot have a love affair with whiskey because whiskey will never love you back.
57. If you believe in evolution, you should know something about how it works.
58. No-one cares if you are offended, so stop it.
59. Never take an ex back. She tried to do better and is settling with you.
60. Eating out alone can be magnificent. Find a place where you can sit at the bar.
61. Read more. It allows you to borrow someone elses brain, and will make you more interesting at a dinner party provided that you dont initiate conversation with, So, who are you reading
62. Ignore the boos. They usually come from the cheap seats.
63. Dont ever say, it is what it is.
64. Dont gamble if losing $US100 is going to piss you off.
65. Remember, rules are for the obedience of fools and the guidance of wise men.


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