A Day In The Life Of A Content Writer: Now You Know...able
Have youever been clicking through viral articles on the internet and wondered, Whowrote that? Probably not; youre already clicking on to the next article orcreeping your ex-girlfriends new boyfriend on Facebook for the umpteenth time.But theres a small part of me that hopes someone wonders, Did that girl really get paid to write about frustrated Hooters waitresses? And if youare that "someone", then this article is for you.
7:45am Wakeup. Hit snooze approximately 3 times. Eventually disentangle myself from mysweat pool that is my bed. Note: this will be the first of several referencesto sweat today. Toronto is experiencing a 3-week long heat wave aka literalhell. Maybe in September Ill feel a temperature in the 20s again.
8:15am Makea delicious breakfast smoothie. Im way too tired from staying up last nightwatching Mormon mommy vloggers to notice that Ive missed key ingredients in mynormal cup. I end up drinking pureed peaches, blackberries, and kiwis, with Greekyoghurt. Yum ish. Halfway through the smoothie I notice that Im a solid 10minutes late for my appointment (which is good for me!) so I frantically grab my laptop and headout the door.
8:30am Headout to the subway. I call my Mom most mornings on my 8-minute walk to thesubway. Even though its only 8 minutes I look like Ive been swimming in sweatby the time I arrive because global warming is raining down on me. But since Iabhor both exercise and the outdoors (I like it from afar or in theory, butreality is quite outdoorsy) this makes me feel as though Ive mildly accomplishedsomething, and proves to my mother that I spent time inhaling fresh air today.
9:09amArrive at a local travel clinic. In April I travelled to Mexico and wasvaccinated for Hep A; they told me to return within 6 months to receive thesecond dose and make me invincible to aaaallllll the hepatitis. Here I am!Except apparently they meant come back AFTER 6 months, so with this extra free time maybe I can actuallyshow up to work on time for once!
9:12am Buymuch-needed teeth things. On my way to the subway, still reeling from the shockof potentially walking in the door promptly at 9:30am, Im distracted by theappearance of a Rexall and the opportunity to buy that teeth stuff my dentistwas bugging me about. Why not? 3 minutes later Im better equipped to massagemy swelling gums and I have floss. IMO the first (and only) step to flossingproperly is simply owning floss.
9:41amArrive at work 11 minutes late, which is actually 6 minutes earlier than mynormal summer routine. At this point you may be asking yourself, Wait, is thisstuff done in an actual office? And I am here to tell you, yes! Knowable andTickld are housed in an office building inmidtown Toronto. We have about 20 people in our office in various positionslike business development, iOS development, and content management.
Things arentsuper stuffy though. Hours are flexible,were free to work in board rooms or at desks or on the couches, theres anunlimited amount of snacks and candy in the kitchen, and Monday morningmeetings start with 10 minutes of viral YouTube videos from the weekend. Nottoo shabby if you ask me.
10:35am Realizethat Ive been on Facebook for about 45 minutes and start to actually work.When you work on the Internet its important to stay in the loop with trends,celebrity news, viral content, etc. but its so easy to just get sucked intoyour own personal life and conversations.
A typicalwork day for me starts by checking how my articles faired last night. Beforebeing circulated on the Internet our articles go through a fairly rigorous (andhighly secretive) testing process to ensure quality content and get rid ofthose pesky spelling errors. I am by the far the worst spelling error andswearing offender in the office. There are probably a dozen in this article already.If you can find them all, make sure you point them all out to me in thecomments with a poke at how Im a woman in online content! :)
Our contentmanager and I will fix any errors picked up by the editor in my articles fromlast night, and then theyre sent off into the universe. Ill do some quickfront-end checks of my test data for our reports and by this point Im starving.A fruit smoothie sounds healthy but is actually the least filling thing ever. Todayis Thursday and Thursday means catered lunch. Around 11:30 we start takingbets on when the food will arrive. I choose 11:40 and lose. My stomach and Iboth cry.
12:01pm Eatcatered lunch. Todays selection is chicken tenders and a veggie plate, plusdeep fried cauliflower for the vegetarians (apparently everything can be deepfried these days). Normally catered lunch prompts a sense of camaraderie andcommunity, and the content writers will assemble on the couches to gossip andwhatnot. Today, Id rather catch up Colbert via YouTube and weve already hadquite a discussion about Suicide Squad's inexplicably negative reviews that I need to recover from.
12:40pmWrite an article. I cant give away all our secrets for how articles arepitched, sourced, compiled, written, edited, etc. Thephoto above is of my external thumb, the preview you see on Facebook to see ifyoull like an article before you click on it. I assemble this on Pixlr with Knowables classic yellow line, and now this bad boy isready to be tested.
1:34pm Witness video games. Halfway through writing the above article I move to thecouch because, fuck yeah we have couches. Unfortunately post-lunch couch lifeis also post-lunch video game life. A solid 40 minutes of Smash Brothers. Dontget me wrong, I like some video games (shout out to my Nancy Drew DetectiveSeries fans!) but something about Smash just makes me cringe. I stick it outthough because couch.
2:00pm Nap. Im 100% serious. This is where Knowable starts to resemble one of those Google, progressive, start-up companies. We have a dank list of perks for people who are on track with their quotas and I take full advantage of both Skittles and couch privileges. I grab a pillow, find a comfy spot away fromthe tundra-blasting air conditioning vents, and catch up on some much neededzzzzzs. Some (my mother) would say that this is unprofessional, but it truly does refresh me for the afternoon of
Buzzfeed quizzes creating articles.
2:57pm Listen to ping pong. Some consider it a stressreliever, others a great alternative to the traditional coffee break, but forme its like someones tap dancing on my ears. Were moving offices soon andpraise Jesus, the ping pong table will be in a separate room.
3:10pm Writeanother article. We have a quota of 2/day but thanks to some smart thinking, I have quite a surplus of finished articles to publish everyday. Once I get into a groove with writing, the articles just flow... It's great to have a job that allows for such creativity. As a result though Im truly oblivious to whats circulating on the internet untilsomeone sends a strongly worded email saying how offended they are by me contradicting howthey pronounce Voldemort.
5:02pmLeave work. Yeah, thats right, this is a typical 9-to-5 situation. Despite theluxuries we are still an office where people want to go home at the end of the day, so by 5:10 the office has completely emptied. Time to head to the bank!
5:16pm GetAmerican dolla dolla billz from the bank. Next week the Toronto office is travelling to Missouri for the annual company picnic. Ive only beento the States once before and want to take advantage of the business trip toexplore, so a bunch of us are going to a baseball game. Next to an eagleplaying football I cant picture anything more American than eating a hotdog ata baseball game.
5:32pmVisit a friend from school. Im one of those weird people whose FOMO has mergedwith hyper organization and anxiety to create a walking social calendar. Irarely go straight home after work because Im working one of my other twojobs, seeing a play, attending a meeting, or, as in this case, visitingfriends. I adore urban living in my 20s theres always something to see or doin Toronto, especially within the theatre scene. I could see a play every nightof the week for two weeks and still not see everything thats onstage thismonth. And boy, do I rise to that challenge!
12:35amRealize its 12:45am and go home. Before we know it almost 7 hours had passedand it is waaaay passed my bedtime. I crave my 9 hours of sleep. Though Iquickly count how few hours I would have, I still commute 45 minutes home tosleep in my own bed rather than crash on my friends couch. Despite being abusy metropolitan epicentre, Toronto is surprisingly calm early in the nightand theres few people on the streets. Even the Tim Hortons is closed. Sadface.
12:40am Askif I really have to go to work tomorrow. This conversation speaks foritself.
12:50am Read TheImmortal Life of Henrietta Lacks. On my 45 minute commute home on the TTC Iread a few chapters of this fantastic non-fiction book about a black womanwhose cancer cells were taken without her consent and used for numerous medicaladvances without accrediting her. I mostly read plays but this year Ive reallygotten back into non-fiction and this had been on my Goodreads to-read list formonths.
1:26am Eata butter tart (not pictured because I ate it) and go to sleep. Its been along yet not-that-tiring day, and Im desperate for sleep. I crank on my fanbecause my cursed apartment doesnt have air conditioning, crack open my windowas high as it can go to let in hot, hot, hot outdoor air, and finally crash.
So thereyou have it, a typical day in the life of a content writer. Every company worksdifferently, and even within our company each writer approaches their jobdifferently, but no matter what were all united by a love for the Internet and naps. But mostlynaps.
Have you ever found yourself in an argument so stupid and/or pointless that you were sure you were being punked? Like you keep looking away from the other person to check your surroundings for places Ashton Kutcher and a camera crew could come popping out of?
You're not the only one.
u/Anti-hollowkid asked: What is the dumbest argument you've ever been in?Brace yourselves, folks. Some of these arguments are breathtakingly bonkers. The sheer number of people who are willing to argue with someone over provable facts and what that other person likes or doesn't like is just ... stunning. It's stunning, you guys. Just not in a good way.
I Know What I LikeGiphy
My wife and I once argued over whether or not I liked mustard on my hot dog. I was for me liking mustard, she was against me liking mustard.
The argument lasted way longer that you could ever imagine it would.
A Stair Step
My brother and I argued if our staircase had 13 or 14 steps, based on an argument about if the floor of the second floor counts as a stair-step or not. We still have no solution.
My dad is a stairbuilder and I spent many summers working at his warehouse, so I can clear this up. 14.
My husband and I have this thing where we only say "I love you" on Saturdays. Every other day it's "I love you, but only on Saturdays." I don't know how it started, but it's been going for 11 years now.
We're both shiftworkers, so sometimes we have to stop and think what day it actually is. We had an argument recently over whether it was Saturday or not. I said it was Saturday, he said it was Friday. It was Monday.
I remember when I was about 13 my parents had an hour-long shouting match that ended with them almost getting divorced. The issue? Whether or not the nation of Iraq has a coastline.
My mother arguing that Iraq had a coastline, while my stepdad argued that it did not. This was back in 2004, and they are still quite happily married to this day. That incident is something they look back on and laugh about, and both of them admit it was really a pretty stupid thing to argue over.
With an ex:
"I owe you $80 for the bills of ours that you pay, and you owe me $40 for the bills of ours that I paid. Here's $40 in cash; we're even."
She did not understand this.
I literally had to go get another $40 out of the ATM, and hand the $80 to her. Then I had her hand me the $40 she owed me.
"Now how much do you have in your hand?"
She still didn't understand.
She somehow has a college degree.
When we were kids my brother and I got in a physical fight because he said I like mini wheats and I insisted I didn't. His argument was that I always sang the mini wheats song and I was deeply offended that he wasn't aware that it was just stuck in my head but I hated the cereal. I actually did like the cereal I'm not sure why I was arguing with him about it but I remember how genuinely angry I was.
I'll tell you about the only legal trouble I've ever been in, the fight that got me arrested. It started over whether we should return a box of crayons or not, and to this day I don't have any idea how it escalated to the point of the cops being called, but they were and I was the one taken in.
My boyfriend insisted that when two people are in an argument and one makes a point so reasonable and logical the other one can't disagree with it - it's unfair. I tried, logically and reasonably, to explain several times why that is just winning the argument, proving your point thoroughly and is completely fair.
His answer was that I was being unfair.
How the ch in masochism is pronounced. My friend caught me saying "masoKism" while he would say "masoSYism."
To be fair, he grew up speaking French, in which the ch in masochism is pronounced in "his" way. But he insisted that I was the wrong one here and that was just infuriating.
A woman was adamant that looking at the big solar eclipse on the television was unsafe unless you were wearing glasses. She wouldn't believe us and insisted on emailing NASA to check.
A Non-Standard Ruler?
I worked for a company that made signs. We had a customer ask for signs that were 7mm wide that were to go on a door. Our sign makers figured the order meant inches because 7mm is pretty small, so made them 7 inches. I got a phone call from the customer who went mad at me for making them the wrong size. So I put a reorder through for 7 mm.
Argued with the sign makers over it but they eventually agreed to do it after I shown them the order in writing. I even had the customer put her complaint in writing, reiterating the size they wanted.
7mm signs went out and a day later I get the customer on the phone literally screaming at me.
Cue the dumb argument - we ended up having an argument over how big a millimetre is, and obviously everyone in the office were laughing, but this customer just wouldn't accept it and said we must be using a non-standard ruler to measure.
Ended up being escalating to the sales department manager who refused to issue a refund. We still don't know what they actually meant.
This Unusual Vegan Argument
Was in a pub with a few friends, and some random Dude dropped an ear, and somehow figured I'm vegan. Well, people like him are the reason I usually avoid mentioning it. He came up to me and insisted on starting a discussion about veganism. He claimed that by the end of it, I would be eating meat again.
He listed some stupid arguments, I told him I was not convinced and then tried to keep on drinking beer with my friends. He followed me, and wanted me to "try to convert him to a vegan." I stupidly listed some of my reasons thinking it would make him go away. He told me he still was not convinced, so I was like whatever. Again, I really just wanted to drink beer with my friends.
That dude followed me all night and expected me to try make him vegan. Doesn't matter what I said, and all the reasons that for me are obviously good enough to be vegan. He'd be just like "No, that doesn't convince me, therefore your argument and how you life is stupid."
Didn't matter how often I told him that I honestly don't care; 5 minutes later he would come up to me again "I'm still not vegan, so veganism is stupid, all your arguments were stupid, now give me a good reason to become vegan!" At one point, I was literally yelling at him that I don't give a single flying f about what he eats and why, that it's in no way my responsibility to "turn somebody vegan" and in no way his business what I eat.
Honestly, for that dude, I would have bought a whole ham, just to shove it up his stupid annoying face.
In college my roommate and I argued about a line in Monty Python & the Holy Grail. The scene with the Black Knight where the line "Alright, we'll call it a draw" is uttered. We argued about who said that line, whether it was King Arthur or the Black Knight.
It went on for hours longer than it should have because I was stubborn and refused to admit I was wrong.
Albert or ArnoldGiphy
Whether Albert Einstein or Arnold Schwarzenegger would be more useful to have around during a Zombie apocalypse. How on earth would Albert Einstein come in handy!?
Below Sea Level
I live on an island and when you go upland and you look out the sea looks like it's higher than or on the same level as the land. It's just a weird perspective thing because of the horizon. One day some kid says that it's because the island is under sea level.
I'm like wtf bro all of us would be with the fishes. He argues that no that's not true and if I just go upland I'll see. We then spend a good 5 minutes of my time arguing about it until I decided to leave this kid in his stupidity. He even said we shouldn't believe everything adults tell us and sometimes we need to think for ourselves.
This kid was older than me and was going to a good school. Lost my respect for him ever since then.
Someone tried to fight with me over how to spell my name.
Now, my name is in a lot of languages with slightly different spellings. I would have accepted any of those spellings, but this one was just... Not even close. It didn't make any logical sense.
An analogous example is if my name was Thomas and someone was insisting it was spelled Tomash. And not just the name Thomas in general, but that me specifically, on my birth certificate, was named Tomash. I know how to spell my own name.
I swear to god, it went on for like an hour.
Whales Are Mammals
I was in an online chat room one day, and we were talking about whales. I commented on how whales are mammals and the next thing you know, someone was arguing with me and trying to convince me that a whale was a fish.
Stupid microwaves. Having a man child talk down to me about how microwaves work only for him to google it and prove me right. He slept on the sofa that night.
My friend keeps telling me that the norm is that a person should shower once a week. This has been going on for years. I'm almost convinced he's trolling me.
No Balloons For Grandma
My cousin and I argued over a balloon going to Heaven. We were at his big sisters prom send off and he let a balloon go and it went high into the sky.
He then said this balloon will go up past space and go to Heaven and reach grandma (God rest her soul). And I was like no it's not and it's probably not even gonna reach space. Releasing balloons is terrible for the environment and kills/harms so much wildlife.
He got really mad and defensive and started telling me to google it and do my research and I'm like I don't have to google it you idiot. He was mad at me for a good week.
Spontaneous Dolphin ExistenceGiphy
How dolphins reproduced. It took me a few solid minutes of explaining to her that dolphins have reproductive organs and that they did not just pop into existence. The argument began with her saying she wanted to work with sea creatures.
Personally, I hope she was messing with me cause I lost a little faith in humanity that day.
I repeatedly had the argument with a friend over whether roosters were chickens. She was convinced that only the females were chickens (hens). We were 18 at the time.
Me and my friend were drinking underage, we ended up in an argument of whether lightning McQueen's eyes were blue or green. Somehow throughout the whole thing both of us never thought to straight up google a picture.
But ... Ice Floats
Woman wanted ice on the bottom of her drink.
Now read that sentence again and try to imagine arguing with that particular brand of stupid.
Time Zones Exist
Coworker claimed that it was the same time of day and the same season on the whole globe. Had to get 4 coworkers to confirm to him that time zones do in fact exist.
My brother is colorblind. And he CONSTANTLY tries to correct me on what color things are.
"Hey could you hand me that red _____?"
"no, it's red"
"YOU CANT EVEN KNOW"
It is the base of our most common and heated arguments.
I'm late, but I saw this question and instantly remembered that I was booted from a Facebook group because I called someone out on a lie that was not only bull, but extremely pointless. She was friends with the moderator and they made the case that my argument over such a little lie was more of a problem than the lie itself (though they didn't refer to it as a lie.)
The woman said that she used to babysit for Andre 3000 and that his name was Andre 2000 - but he changed it after the year 2000 had passed. This was so easily disproven it was ridiculous. Their debut album came out in 1994 and he was already going by Andre 3000 at that time.
The argument wasn't a huge long drawn out thing, but the fact that either of us were on Facebook at separate times meant that the responses were over a long period of time so this argument lasted a few days.
It was stupid.
Stars Like Our Sun
I was arguing with my grandpa about stars he didn't believe that there are other stars like our sun. Basically he thought there is only the sun, the moon and the earth.
I have a degree in history. I mostly focused on nationalism. Wrote a 50 page paper on it and Richard Nixon with around 50 100 sources. Looked at micro film for hours on end. Part of the paper focused on how Nixon being chair of the house committee of Unamerican Activities was used as a powerful weapon to use against political enemies. It also inspired Joe McCarthy. Have had people tell me I was wrong and Nixon was never elected to a position besides the president and Joe McCarthy came before Nixon. I stopped trying to talk history to people.
I also know quite a bit about the history of the Balkans its amazing how many Serbs refuse to believe Tito did anything wrong.
Wrote 100 page paper on nationalism in Israel. Its frustrating to talk about because for some reason a lot of people think Palestinian firing rockets randomly into Israel is ok but if Israel retaliates the people get up in arms over a targeted air strike that kills 3 people.
Balloon to Heaven
My cousin and I argued over a balloon going to Heaven. We were at his big sisters prom send off and he let a balloon go and it went high into the sky. He then said this balloon will go up past space and go to Heaven and reach grandma (God rest her soul). And I was like no it's not and it's probably not even gonna reach space.
And he got really mad and defensive and started telling me to google it and do my research and I'm like I don't have to google it you idiot. He was mad at me for a good week.
I got into an argument with a co-worker over how we were attaching two pages of a letter together: small binder clips or paper clips.
He felt that paper clips would leave a "dent" in the paper when removed, but binder clips won't. He refused to staple them together. I felt that binder clips would also leave a "dent", so we might as well just use the paper clips.
It ended with him saying: "Do what you want [me], I don't care!" and storming off.
Once got accused of faking being Jewish. Why? I have no clue. We argued over the course of a month, any time I'd bring it up and she heard about it, she'd begin going after me for "faking it".
My mother's side is ethnically Jewish. Grandparents were practicing.
3 friends and I once got into an argument about how to pronounce Nutella. It lasted for about 3-4 months. It was hilarious how serious we took it, it'd get heated but never for real serious.
I think someone even called the company that made it to check, or that may have been for the Cheetos company. We were really bored in high school.
Late to the party, but there it is.
I'm a manager at a small store. We're only 4 working there, so my team and I grew very close and we joke around a lot. Once during a slow shift, my employee and I had an argument because we were looking at the lingerie boxes, and I thought that two specific boxes had the same woman on it, but she was 100% positive they weren't the same person.
Looking back, I don't know why it was such a big deal to us at the time, but we even called another employee who lives across the street to come and tell us what the heck was up with that. Turns out I was right, and she was pretty salty about it. It was a great night.
Wicked Witch of the West
I almost got into an argument with an old girlfriend over Glinda the good witch from Oz. She insisted that Glinda was manipulating Dorothy to assassinate the Wicked Witch of the West and convince the Wizard to leave to create a political void she could fill.
I conceded the issue when I heard the whole premise because I thought it was too damn stupid to get worked up over.
Keep Your Hands to Yourself
Just the other day I legit got in an argument with my co-workers on why I don't like my butt being grabbed by anyone (I'm a guy). Seriously.
They went on about "I don't mind it. Mike and I do it all the time and we don't care." Yeah, that's nice dude, but I'm not you, and there's something called "Keep your hands to yourself" (which was taught to a good portion of us growing up). Just like how Karen wouldn't like it if I touched her boobs or her grabbing your crotch or frankly ANY area you wouldn't like being grabbed, keep away. In general, you should not be touching me in any areas after I've told you not to several times before.
So unless you're sleeping me or dating me, keep your damn hands off my toosh.
My best friend and I argued over whether or not telekinesis was possible. Her argument was that humans don't yet know what the human brain at 100% usage was capable of, and that telekinesis was inside the possibilities.
I said the brain does use 100%, just at different times.
We didn't speak to each other for four days.
How dolphins reproduced and whether or not ghost existed (back to back with the same person). It took me a few solid minutes of explaining to her that dolphins have reproductive organs and that they did not just pop into existence (the argument began with her saying she wanted to work with sea creatures).
How it shifted to the existence of ghosts is a solid and reasonable question to ask (I don't remember why). I had to then proceed to tell her that ghost hunting TV shows do not constitute as undeniable evidence.
Personally, I hope she was messing with me cause I lost a little faith in humanity that day. This was in high school SO... hopefully she was kidding.
Dogs and ChocolateGiphy
I told this stupid woman that chocolate is toxic to dogs. She went on to tell me how a little bit will just make them hyper and then they will calm down. I told her to google it. Her and her bf shut right up. Now they have a kid. Good luck, Jeremy and Andrea. morons.
I should also add that this argument started because Jeremy was giving his tiny dog chocolate and I told him it was toxic.
Is water wet?
My roommate and I have a recurring argument over whether or not water is wet l, and whether or not a person is considered wet underwater.
For the record, it is no to both questions.
A kid a church telling me about the mission trip I went on. Not only was I not on that trip, but I had never been on any mission trip. We were good friends, so it's not like he would've mistaken someone else for me.
He insisted I was there as if an entire week long trip would just fall out of my memory. He even had stories of things we'd done together. I'm not sure if he thought I was lying, joking, stupid, or crazy, but I was pretty sure he was some combination thereof.
One time I got into a shouting match with my mom and little brother in the car. The issue? The names of the two-headed dragon from the PBS kids afternoon show Dragon Tales. I swore it was Zack and Macie.
It was actually Zak and Wheezie. I don't even remember why we were yelling about it.
Green Or Yellow?
When I was about 15 or so my mother and I spent about 20-30 minutes arguing about the color of a shirt. We agreed it was blue/green, but to me it was just a shade more blue, while to her it was just a bit more green.
Turns out, your eyeballs yellow as you age and hers were 24 years yellower than mine, so I think that skewed her color vision.
Stars In Their MultitudeGiphy
I once got in an argument over whether or not a line from the song "Stars" in Les Mis says "...but mine is the way of the lord" or "mine is the way of the law".
I didn't even really care what he thought but he was so adamant and cocky that it got me heated. By the end of it we were shouting at each other and I had to apologize, which I think is what he wanted the whole time.
My brother is colorblind. And he CONSTANTLY tries to correct me on what color things are.
"Hey could you hand me that red _____?" "that's orange" "no, it's red" "orange" "YOU CANT EVEN KNOW".
It is the base of our most common and heated arguments.
About five years ago, my girlfriend (now wife) once had a very intense argument about whether or not hot water cleaned things better than cold water.
She genuinely believed that water temperature didn't matter. This is someone who has not one, but two masters degrees.
We argued for something like 2 hours, and we seriously almost broke up over the whole thing.
I had an argument with a girl IN THE MIDDLE OF A BIOLOGY CLASS in high school about how humans are not mammals. She thought a human was a human and we are not mammals because "mammals are animals and humans are not animals"
I tried explaining to her the difference between reptiles and mammals and how humans fall under the mammal category to try and educate her... but she just wouldn't listen.
I still have no idea why the BIOLOGY teacher did not get involved...
Solid Or Liquid?
Some classmates and I got into a heated debate as to whether or not the human body could count as a soup, salad, or sandwich. The teacher got mad at us, but hey! All we were doing was watching a movie.
For the record, my logic lays with soup- Liquid contained within a solid, at a hot temperature.