Adults Share The Worst Thing They Did As A Child That Their Parents Still Don't Know About.

Have you ever done something so terribly bad that you couldn't bring yourself to admit it? Here, adults share the worst thing they did as a child that their parents still don't know about to this day.

Looks like they're taking these ones to the grave...

1/20. I took the blame for breaking the toaster when I was a teenager.

My parents came home one day & asked me why the house smelled like burnt syrup, and I told them it was because I had tried to make cinnamon toast by sugaring my bread before toasting it. When the toaster broke a couple days later, I was blamed.

Of course, I hadn't touched the toaster that morning. The house stank of hot sugar because I'd been boiling 3 gallons of brown-sugar wort, which was now fermenting into hooch in the fencerow outside.


2/20. When I was younger, I used to hide under racks at department stores to scare my mom. I always got in trouble for it. I would run ahead of her, hide in one, then wait till I saw her shoes to pop out. Well one day at Macy's I was sitting in the clothes rack as usual, giggling like a schoolgirl, when I see my moms shoes. THE TIME TO ATTACK IS NOW!

I jump out screaming and flailing my arms around when I realize this isn't my mom. This lady turns white, almost looks like she's about to faint, then she starts crying. Then I start crying. She falls to the floor and everyone rushes up to her while I'm just standing there crying. People think she's my mom because I'm crying near her, but after two minutes I wander off and find my mom. I dont know what happened to that lady.


3/20. When my older brother was one month away from his 16th birthday and I was 14, or parents left us alone for the weekend. My brother had his learners permit, but no license.

We took the family car and drove it 20 minutes away to the movie theater to watch Wayne's World the day it was released. No regrets.


4/20. I lost my Mom's engagement ring.

When I was about six years old, my mom was making dinner and she had taken her ring off because she washing a pot or pan and I grabbed the ring and took it back to my room and then got distracted by something else that caught my eye. When she started freaking out I was so scared I didn't say anything and denied later on that I touched it. We later moved out of the house, but never found it.


Continue reading on the next page!

5/20. Made a homemade bomb with a buddy when we were in 8th grade. Black powder unrolled from a pack of 200 Black Cat fireworks.

Poured all of the black powder into a spent CO2 cartridge, made a very long fuse and sealed it with electrical tape, planted the bomb in the mud of a cattle field next to a small stream, lit it and ran like hell.

Blew a crater the size of a truck tire into the bank of the stream and a neighbor called the cops after the explosion. We hid in a nearby grove of trees for over two hours until the cops left and we were sure that they were gone. Though tempted, we never made another one again.


6/20. When I was just a young lad of about 9, I caught strep throat and the flu. For some reason my mom thought I was faking, even with a fever and puke on my bedroom floor, and she forced me out the door to school. However, I knew I wouldn't be doing anyone any favors at my school by showing up sick, so I simply walked around my block for an hour or so until my parents left to go to work.. This is where I messed up.

In my blinding rage to get back at my mom I did something that I'll never tell them. I came home, opened my fridge, grabbed a gallon jug of milk, and hocked the most glorious loogie of my life right into the milk. It made an audible "plop" as it landed in the milk, but it didn't dilute due to the thickness of the mixture of sinus liquid and spit, so I shook it as hard as my 9-year-old arms could shake it, spreading the seed of my diseases throughout the jug. That night, pasta night. Everyone is drinking the milk, my parents and my two sisters. "Do you want any milk blacklightRAINBOW?"

No thanks.

EVERYONE got strep throat. My dad got the flu.


7/20. So in 6th or 7th grade I was mad at my friend but instead of telling her I decided to trash her locker. I wrote "b---c" on it, squirted juice into it, probably other stuff I don't remember. When it was discovered they got the whole grade together and said no one was going anywhere until someone confessed. We all just stood there for hours.

I couldn't bring myself to confess because (1) I might lose my friend, (2) I had a reputation as being a really good kid that I didn't want shattered and (3) the longer we stood there the more furious everyone would be at me.

Eventually the class clown said he did it just to end the standoff. He said it was a random joke, he didn't even know it was her locker, etc, but he still got suspended for a few days.

So yeah. I screwed over my friend, screwed over my whole class, screwed over the class clown and was a lying cowardly jerk.


8/20. Your car wasn't stolen and then crashed a mile away by some dumb criminal. It was stolen and crashed by your dumb son, who just wanted some late night Taco Bell.

I was 11, hungry, and not very smart.


Continue reading on the next page!

9/20. Accidentally burned down about ten acres of woods and a few fields around our apartment complex. No one injured and not a single residence damaged.

I mostly stopped setting plants on fire after that.


10/20. One time I got in trouble for being on a roof of a school and, while I told the police and my parents that some asshole kids tossed my favorite hat up there, I never told anybody what I did to those kids before I scaled the roof.

There were a pair of twins about my age. They started harassing me in this playground not far from where my parents had rented a motel room (we were on vacation). I hated bullies and, because we were away from home, I felt like I could actually stand up for myself without any longterm consequences.

One walked over, grabbed my favorite hat and tossed it on the school roof. Without hesitation, I picked up a fist-sized chunk of asphalt and he started running. I chased him and, mid-stride, beaned him right in the back of the head with it. It knocked him down hard and, while he bled in the grass, his brother came over to defend him. I did this wicked windmill sucker punch to the brother's jaw. They both started crying and limped off the playground. I then pushed a trashcan over to the wall, climbed up and got busted with my hat in my hand. I never told anybody about the beating I delivered to those kids. It was pretty bad.


11/20. As a curious kid, I tried smoking. My parents arrived so I hid the cigarette in my cousin's backpack. My cousin got scolded and grounded for a month.


12/20. My brother is 3 years younger than I am. When I was about 6 and he was 3, he would say "yes" to every question that was asked of him by my parents. Did you eat your veggies? "Yes." Did you kill a family of bees by developing a radiation gun? "Yes."

Anyway. I often blamed a lot of minor stuff I did on him because I knew he would take the fall. Did you leave the TV on? "Yes."

Being the mean older brother I was, I wanted to see how far I could push it. So one day I literally peed on the floor in the middle of the living room when nobody else was around. Just whipped it out and emptied my bladder. My parents asked my brother if he did it and of course he responded with "yes." He got in trouble and I got to watch cartoons.

Also in high school I found where my parents kept their weekly cash and stole $20 here and there for years.


Continue reading on the next page!

13/20. When I was 12 I hacked our cable box so we could get the Playboy Channel. I did it in such a way that they couldn't tell, since I could turn the "hack" on and off.


14/20. When I was 16 my grandma gave me her old car. It was an old beat up Toyota and I was ecstatic to have my own car. Fast forward a few months and the phone rings in the middle of the night. I answered since I was up and it was a girl I knew from school. She asked me for a ride to a party... but I wasn't invited to this party. She begged and begged and I finally relented.

Back country roads in the middle of the night are tough to navigate, but even tougher to navigate when she decided she would "thank" me in her own special way. I ended up crashing in the ditch and the damage wasn't that bad, just a slightly dented hood and brush guard. When my dad saw it the next day after I got my buddy in a truck to pull me out, he assumed he had just overlooked it when grandma gave it to me and never even asked me about it. To this day mom and dad still don't know.


15/20. I once forged my mom's signature for a report I got sent home with. Her name starts with a "T" and she wrote it like a backwards "5". Except I didn't realize that at the time so that so I wrote her name as "5rudy". I'm still shocked the school never called her.


16/20. A friend used to "borrow" 2-3 bottles of liquor from the local store per day. I would buy them $10 each and keep them in my locker.

Before school, between classes, and during them my locker evolved into the place to be. Sometimes 10, 15 kids huddled around taking swigs. Well it got to the point where I had to much to fit in my locker and started taking them home.

I had probably 20-25 water bottles of rum stashed under a dresser. My dad found them, proceeded to start the lecture/grounding, but right then I have this brilliant idea.

"Dad it's not alcohol, its low grade rocket fuel I've been mixing for science class, and no it's not flammable. Go ahead, smell it."

He never did. Was never punished. You can bet your bottom dollar my next science fair project was how to make rocket fuel.


Continue reading on the next page!

17/20. When I was a kid, 6 or 7, my family went to a friend's house fora summer party type thing. Well the parents were drinking and not paying much attention to the kids. My mother's friend's daughter, who was 3-4, wanted a toy she left on the pool deck. I open the door for her and just as she grabs her stuffed animal, I get the funniest idea. I shove her into the pool.

I pushed her so hard she landed in the middle of the pool, the deep part. SPLASH! I laugh as she sinks to the bottom. At this point the realization of my actions kick in.

I scream and jump in the pool. I pull her up from the bottom and over to the ladder. I look up and there's like 6 parents on the deck. A few tend to the girl while a few others tell me how much of a hero I am for jumping in after her. I was well behaved for the rest of the day.


18/20. My friend really didnt want to go to school, so he pretended his stomach hurt. He over acted badly, and his mom freaked out and took him to the hospital. The way he described his pain to the doctors, it sounded like his appendix ruptured, so they removed it.

His mom has no idea.


19/20. I rode my bike 4 miles at 3am to pick up my 13-year-old brother from a friend's house. He had apparently bought some pot that was laced with something else (they guessed PCP) and started having convulsions. They were all freaking out, telling me not to call an ambulance and just get there right now.

I carried him over my shoulder while walking my bike home, kept him conscious, and kept him talking. When we got home, it was 6:30am. I got him in the shower and went upstairs (mine and my brother's bedrooms were in the basement) to make breakfast. My stepdad was already awake.

"You're up early," he said. I mumbled something about going back to sleep after breakfast, then rushed back downstairs and spoon-fed my brother some oatmeal. He slept for almost a day.

I should have told them. I should have had them take him to the hospital. I didn't. He survived, thankfully, but I know that it would break my mom's heart if I told her now.


Continue reading on the next page!

20/20. When I was about 16 or so I got the genius idea to not only skip school, but to "borrow" my parents' truck and drive my girlfriend around. This was easy for me to do since both my parents worked at the same place, drove together in their other car, and left for work before I went to school, and got home well after I did. Not to mention the fact that I could easily pose as my father calling the school to tell them I wouldn't be in that day, since they had no idea what he sounded like. It was the perfect plan. And so, armed with nothing more than my permit and explosive teenage hormones I set out on my adventure.

And what a day it was. I don't really remember what we did, spare for driving around a lot. I drop her off around 3 o'clock and retire to my own home, careful to park exactly as my father did before proudly strutting inside after a scheme well pulled. I turn on the TV and relax next to the family computer with a victory glass of D.r Pepper when my best friend shows up on AIM, a sign that he had finished with his day of school.

"Sucker", I chortled to myself as I opened up a message window to brag about my shenanigans.

I then began to regale my schoolyard chum with every juicy detail of my romantic tryst all over the backwoods of upstate NY that I spent with... some girl who twelve years later I don't remember the name of. That part wasn't important. What was important was that I quite possibly did the worst thing I had done to date. Or so I thought. My friend, in classic best friend style, began to point out little nagging doubts about how I was going to get into so much trouble.

"What if the girl got in trouble somehow, blamed you, and her parents called yours?"

Plausible, but unlikely on the grounds that I chose to simply ignore it.

"What if your dad notices something off about his truck?"

This point made my heart stop. My dad could be a bit overly aware sometimes. I knew that he didn't often check the mileage on his vehicles, and if he did notice it was off he'd probably just shrug it off. This was pure conjecture on my part, but I wanted to believe it as I was starting to panic slightly.

"What about the gas?"

Sweet baby J, the gas. I hadn't stopped at the station on my way back. How empty was it now? Furthermore, how full had the tank been at the start of my little escapade? Half? Three quarters? Was it full? Better to just fill it up and let him think Mom did it. Unless he asks her since she meticulously keeps her receipts-- NO! I couldn't worry about this now! Time was of the essence, they would be home at five, a scant hour until my certain doom! I ran outside. Hands shaking, I turned the engine on and warily peeked with one eye at the gas gauge.


I sat there unblinking as my entire body went cold. I didn't have enough gas to get out of the driveway again, much less to the Sunoco a few miles away. I was dead. Absolutely, completely, irrecoverably, de-- Suddenly I found myself sprinting across the yard to our garage. My dad, like most men, had several spare cans of gas to fuel his various tools and tractors lying about. If I could use one, I'd just fill it up along with the truck! Simple! But of course, all four cans were empty. My gaze fell upon our riding lawn mower. I could see it was chock full of precious liquefied dinosaur remains.

Was I desperate enough to ride it to the gas station and back? I don't know, because that's not what I was considering. I needed to get the gas out of the tractor and into the truck. But unfortunately we didn't have a siphon or any type of hose for me to suck it out myself. But that was ok, because in my panic stricken desperate-to-not-get-grounded eyes I saw the next best thing buried amongst our mountains of junk.

An old upright Hoover we never used anymore.

The plan was simple, back the tractor out into the driveway, use the vacuum to siphon the gas, and then through the use of a funnel, empty the bag into the truck. Simple, right? Now I knew at some level that gas and electricity don't mix, but I couldn't be concerned with science right then. It went about as well as you'd expect. I turned the vacuum on, hose attachment submerged in gasoline, and narrowly avoided blowing myself up. It didn't explode right away. First it began to shake violently, which I simply attributed to it being old. I still stepped back though. Then with a loud pop and rushing noise, a three foot plume of fire shot straight out the back of the vacuum which then, because of the violent shaking, began to slowly tip backwards. So I now have a Hoover Vacuum at a 45 degree angle in my driveway, spewing flames out the back of it, and shuddering like it's about to take off into outer space. Like, "Sorry, kid. My home planet needs me. Good luck with your folks." And then it blew up.

Miraculously, I am unharmed. The truck, the tractor, the funnel, all fine. Like a silent zombie, I began to clean everything up. Put the tractor back, cleaned up all the bits of molten plastic and threw them out, and hosed off the burnt rocks in our driveway/threw out the ones I couldn't clean. Spare the lingering stench of burnt plastic, everything looked the same. I quietly retreated to my room to await my punishment like a man, content that I couldn't mess up anymore than I already had. At some point before they got home, perhaps due to stress or just being a teenager, I fell asleep on my bed.

I awake the next morning in a daze and tentatively crept from my lodgings to sheepishly greet my parents. Only my mother was home, my dad was gone.

"Your father was not happy this morning." She told me.

I solemnly nodded and awaited my fate.

"He went out to go to work today and saw the gas cap open on his truck. Some jerk must have snuck out there in the middle of the night and siphoned the gas from it because the tank was damn near empty. Had to take my car and a gas can into work, he's going to have to fill it later."

And they never found out the truth.



Have you ever found yourself in an argument so stupid and/or pointless that you were sure you were being punked? Like you keep looking away from the other person to check your surroundings for places Ashton Kutcher and a camera crew could come popping out of?

You're not the only one.

u/Anti-hollowkid asked: What is the dumbest argument you've ever been in?

Brace yourselves, folks. Some of these arguments are breathtakingly bonkers. The sheer number of people who are willing to argue with someone over provable facts and what that other person likes or doesn't like is just ... stunning. It's stunning, you guys. Just not in a good way.

I Know What I Like


My wife and I once argued over whether or not I liked mustard on my hot dog. I was for me liking mustard, she was against me liking mustard.

The argument lasted way longer that you could ever imagine it would.

- AardvarkAndy

A Stair Step

My brother and I argued if our staircase had 13 or 14 steps, based on an argument about if the floor of the second floor counts as a stair-step or not. We still have no solution.

- RazerWolf04

My dad is a stairbuilder and I spent many summers working at his warehouse, so I can clear this up. 14.

- Apples9308


My husband and I have this thing where we only say "I love you" on Saturdays. Every other day it's "I love you, but only on Saturdays." I don't know how it started, but it's been going for 11 years now.

We're both shiftworkers, so sometimes we have to stop and think what day it actually is. We had an argument recently over whether it was Saturday or not. I said it was Saturday, he said it was Friday. It was Monday.

- FormalMango


I remember when I was about 13 my parents had an hour-long shouting match that ended with them almost getting divorced. The issue? Whether or not the nation of Iraq has a coastline.

My mother arguing that Iraq had a coastline, while my stepdad argued that it did not. This was back in 2004, and they are still quite happily married to this day. That incident is something they look back on and laugh about, and both of them admit it was really a pretty stupid thing to argue over.

- dontcryformegiratina


With an ex:

"I owe you $80 for the bills of ours that you pay, and you owe me $40 for the bills of ours that I paid. Here's $40 in cash; we're even."

She did not understand this.

I literally had to go get another $40 out of the ATM, and hand the $80 to her. Then I had her hand me the $40 she owed me.

"Now how much do you have in your hand?"

She still didn't understand.

She somehow has a college degree.

- Speedly

Mini Wheats

When we were kids my brother and I got in a physical fight because he said I like mini wheats and I insisted I didn't. His argument was that I always sang the mini wheats song and I was deeply offended that he wasn't aware that it was just stuck in my head but I hated the cereal. I actually did like the cereal I'm not sure why I was arguing with him about it but I remember how genuinely angry I was.

- shicole3



I'll tell you about the only legal trouble I've ever been in, the fight that got me arrested. It started over whether we should return a box of crayons or not, and to this day I don't have any idea how it escalated to the point of the cops being called, but they were and I was the one taken in.

- CorrectionalChard

That's Unfair

My boyfriend insisted that when two people are in an argument and one makes a point so reasonable and logical the other one can't disagree with it - it's unfair. I tried, logically and reasonably, to explain several times why that is just winning the argument, proving your point thoroughly and is completely fair.

His answer was that I was being unfair.

- ShyAcorn

Pure Masochism

How the ch in masochism is pronounced. My friend caught me saying "masoKism" while he would say "masoSYism."

To be fair, he grew up speaking French, in which the ch in masochism is pronounced in "his" way. But he insisted that I was the wrong one here and that was just infuriating.

- argofire

Emailing NASA

A woman was adamant that looking at the big solar eclipse on the television was unsafe unless you were wearing glasses. She wouldn't believe us and insisted on emailing NASA to check.

- derawin07

A Non-Standard Ruler? 

I worked for a company that made signs. We had a customer ask for signs that were 7mm wide that were to go on a door. Our sign makers figured the order meant inches because 7mm is pretty small, so made them 7 inches. I got a phone call from the customer who went mad at me for making them the wrong size. So I put a reorder through for 7 mm.

Argued with the sign makers over it but they eventually agreed to do it after I shown them the order in writing. I even had the customer put her complaint in writing, reiterating the size they wanted.

7mm signs went out and a day later I get the customer on the phone literally screaming at me.

Cue the dumb argument - we ended up having an argument over how big a millimetre is, and obviously everyone in the office were laughing, but this customer just wouldn't accept it and said we must be using a non-standard ruler to measure.

Ended up being escalating to the sales department manager who refused to issue a refund. We still don't know what they actually meant.

- Lovelocke

This Unusual Vegan Argument

Was in a pub with a few friends, and some random Dude dropped an ear, and somehow figured I'm vegan. Well, people like him are the reason I usually avoid mentioning it. He came up to me and insisted on starting a discussion about veganism. He claimed that by the end of it, I would be eating meat again.

He listed some stupid arguments, I told him I was not convinced and then tried to keep on drinking beer with my friends. He followed me, and wanted me to "try to convert him to a vegan." I stupidly listed some of my reasons thinking it would make him go away. He told me he still was not convinced, so I was like whatever. Again, I really just wanted to drink beer with my friends.

That dude followed me all night and expected me to try make him vegan. Doesn't matter what I said, and all the reasons that for me are obviously good enough to be vegan. He'd be just like "No, that doesn't convince me, therefore your argument and how you life is stupid."

Didn't matter how often I told him that I honestly don't care; 5 minutes later he would come up to me again "I'm still not vegan, so veganism is stupid, all your arguments were stupid, now give me a good reason to become vegan!" At one point, I was literally yelling at him that I don't give a single flying f about what he eats and why, that it's in no way my responsibility to "turn somebody vegan" and in no way his business what I eat.

Honestly, for that dude, I would have bought a whole ham, just to shove it up his stupid annoying face.

- onlytruebertos

Monty Python

In college my roommate and I argued about a line in Monty Python & the Holy Grail. The scene with the Black Knight where the line "Alright, we'll call it a draw" is uttered. We argued about who said that line, whether it was King Arthur or the Black Knight.

It went on for hours longer than it should have because I was stubborn and refused to admit I was wrong.

- Skrivus

Albert or Arnold


Whether Albert Einstein or Arnold Schwarzenegger would be more useful to have around during a Zombie apocalypse. How on earth would Albert Einstein come in handy!?

- Gerrard1995

Below Sea Level

I live on an island and when you go upland and you look out the sea looks like it's higher than or on the same level as the land. It's just a weird perspective thing because of the horizon. One day some kid says that it's because the island is under sea level.

I'm like wtf bro all of us would be with the fishes. He argues that no that's not true and if I just go upland I'll see. We then spend a good 5 minutes of my time arguing about it until I decided to leave this kid in his stupidity. He even said we shouldn't believe everything adults tell us and sometimes we need to think for ourselves.

This kid was older than me and was going to a good school. Lost my respect for him ever since then.

- -justforclout-


Someone tried to fight with me over how to spell my name.

Now, my name is in a lot of languages with slightly different spellings. I would have accepted any of those spellings, but this one was just... Not even close. It didn't make any logical sense.

An analogous example is if my name was Thomas and someone was insisting it was spelled Tomash. And not just the name Thomas in general, but that me specifically, on my birth certificate, was named Tomash. I know how to spell my own name.

I swear to god, it went on for like an hour.

- TK-DuVeraun

Whales Are Mammals

I was in an online chat room one day, and we were talking about whales. I commented on how whales are mammals and the next thing you know, someone was arguing with me and trying to convince me that a whale was a fish.

- kawaii_psycho451


Stupid microwaves. Having a man child talk down to me about how microwaves work only for him to google it and prove me right. He slept on the sofa that night.

- sun_phobic

Shower Schedule

My friend keeps telling me that the norm is that a person should shower once a week. This has been going on for years. I'm almost convinced he's trolling me.

- LibrarianGovernment

No Balloons For Grandma

My cousin and I argued over a balloon going to Heaven. We were at his big sisters prom send off and he let a balloon go and it went high into the sky.

He then said this balloon will go up past space and go to Heaven and reach grandma (God rest her soul). And I was like no it's not and it's probably not even gonna reach space. Releasing balloons is terrible for the environment and kills/harms so much wildlife.

He got really mad and defensive and started telling me to google it and do my research and I'm like I don't have to google it you idiot. He was mad at me for a good week.

- Dskee02

Spontaneous Dolphin Existence


How dolphins reproduced. It took me a few solid minutes of explaining to her that dolphins have reproductive organs and that they did not just pop into existence. The argument began with her saying she wanted to work with sea creatures.

Personally, I hope she was messing with me cause I lost a little faith in humanity that day.

- thebeststory

Male Chickens

I repeatedly had the argument with a friend over whether roosters were chickens. She was convinced that only the females were chickens (hens). We were 18 at the time.

- bee_zah

Lightning McQueen

Me and my friend were drinking underage, we ended up in an argument of whether lightning McQueen's eyes were blue or green. Somehow throughout the whole thing both of us never thought to straight up google a picture.

- 23071115

But ... Ice Floats

Waiter/Host here.

Woman wanted ice on the bottom of her drink.

Now read that sentence again and try to imagine arguing with that particular brand of stupid.

- FarWoods

Time Zones Exist

Coworker claimed that it was the same time of day and the same season on the whole globe. Had to get 4 coworkers to confirm to him that time zones do in fact exist.

- JustARegularToaster


My brother is colorblind. And he CONSTANTLY tries to correct me on what color things are.

"Hey could you hand me that red _____?"

"that's orange"

"no, it's red"



It is the base of our most common and heated arguments.

- droneb2hive

Andre 2000?


I'm late, but I saw this question and instantly remembered that I was booted from a Facebook group because I called someone out on a lie that was not only bull, but extremely pointless. She was friends with the moderator and they made the case that my argument over such a little lie was more of a problem than the lie itself (though they didn't refer to it as a lie.)

The woman said that she used to babysit for Andre 3000 and that his name was Andre 2000 - but he changed it after the year 2000 had passed. This was so easily disproven it was ridiculous. Their debut album came out in 1994 and he was already going by Andre 3000 at that time.

The argument wasn't a huge long drawn out thing, but the fact that either of us were on Facebook at separate times meant that the responses were over a long period of time so this argument lasted a few days.

It was stupid.

- P1ST0L_Wh1PP3D

Stars Like Our Sun

I was arguing with my grandpa about stars he didn't believe that there are other stars like our sun. Basically he thought there is only the sun, the moon and the earth.


Richard Nixon

I have a degree in history. I mostly focused on nationalism. Wrote a 50 page paper on it and Richard Nixon with around 50 100 sources. Looked at micro film for hours on end. Part of the paper focused on how Nixon being chair of the house committee of Unamerican Activities was used as a powerful weapon to use against political enemies. It also inspired Joe McCarthy. Have had people tell me I was wrong and Nixon was never elected to a position besides the president and Joe McCarthy came before Nixon. I stopped trying to talk history to people.

I also know quite a bit about the history of the Balkans its amazing how many Serbs refuse to believe Tito did anything wrong.

Wrote 100 page paper on nationalism in Israel. Its frustrating to talk about because for some reason a lot of people think Palestinian firing rockets randomly into Israel is ok but if Israel retaliates the people get up in arms over a targeted air strike that kills 3 people.


Balloon to Heaven

My cousin and I argued over a balloon going to Heaven. We were at his big sisters prom send off and he let a balloon go and it went high into the sky. He then said this balloon will go up past space and go to Heaven and reach grandma (God rest her soul). And I was like no it's not and it's probably not even gonna reach space.

And he got really mad and defensive and started telling me to google it and do my research and I'm like I don't have to google it you idiot. He was mad at me for a good week.


Binder Clips

I got into an argument with a co-worker over how we were attaching two pages of a letter together: small binder clips or paper clips.

He felt that paper clips would leave a "dent" in the paper when removed, but binder clips won't. He refused to staple them together. I felt that binder clips would also leave a "dent", so we might as well just use the paper clips.

It ended with him saying: "Do what you want [me], I don't care!" and storming off.



Once got accused of faking being Jewish. Why? I have no clue. We argued over the course of a month, any time I'd bring it up and she heard about it, she'd begin going after me for "faking it".

My mother's side is ethnically Jewish. Grandparents were practicing.




3 friends and I once got into an argument about how to pronounce Nutella. It lasted for about 3-4 months. It was hilarious how serious we took it, it'd get heated but never for real serious.

I think someone even called the company that made it to check, or that may have been for the Cheetos company. We were really bored in high school.


Lingerie Boxes

Late to the party, but there it is.

I'm a manager at a small store. We're only 4 working there, so my team and I grew very close and we joke around a lot. Once during a slow shift, my employee and I had an argument because we were looking at the lingerie boxes, and I thought that two specific boxes had the same woman on it, but she was 100% positive they weren't the same person.

Looking back, I don't know why it was such a big deal to us at the time, but we even called another employee who lives across the street to come and tell us what the heck was up with that. Turns out I was right, and she was pretty salty about it. It was a great night.


Wicked Witch of the West

I almost got into an argument with an old girlfriend over Glinda the good witch from Oz. She insisted that Glinda was manipulating Dorothy to assassinate the Wicked Witch of the West and convince the Wizard to leave to create a political void she could fill.

I conceded the issue when I heard the whole premise because I thought it was too damn stupid to get worked up over.


Keep Your Hands to Yourself

Just the other day I legit got in an argument with my co-workers on why I don't like my butt being grabbed by anyone (I'm a guy). Seriously.

They went on about "I don't mind it. Mike and I do it all the time and we don't care." Yeah, that's nice dude, but I'm not you, and there's something called "Keep your hands to yourself" (which was taught to a good portion of us growing up). Just like how Karen wouldn't like it if I touched her boobs or her grabbing your crotch or frankly ANY area you wouldn't like being grabbed, keep away. In general, you should not be touching me in any areas after I've told you not to several times before.

So unless you're sleeping me or dating me, keep your damn hands off my toosh.



My best friend and I argued over whether or not telekinesis was possible. Her argument was that humans don't yet know what the human brain at 100% usage was capable of, and that telekinesis was inside the possibilities.

I said the brain does use 100%, just at different times.

We didn't speak to each other for four days.



How dolphins reproduced and whether or not ghost existed (back to back with the same person). It took me a few solid minutes of explaining to her that dolphins have reproductive organs and that they did not just pop into existence (the argument began with her saying she wanted to work with sea creatures).

How it shifted to the existence of ghosts is a solid and reasonable question to ask (I don't remember why). I had to then proceed to tell her that ghost hunting TV shows do not constitute as undeniable evidence.

Personally, I hope she was messing with me cause I lost a little faith in humanity that day. This was in high school SO... hopefully she was kidding.


Dogs and Chocolate


I told this stupid woman that chocolate is toxic to dogs. She went on to tell me how a little bit will just make them hyper and then they will calm down. I told her to google it. Her and her bf shut right up. Now they have a kid. Good luck, Jeremy and Andrea. morons.

I should also add that this argument started because Jeremy was giving his tiny dog chocolate and I told him it was toxic.


Is water wet?

My roommate and I have a recurring argument over whether or not water is wet l, and whether or not a person is considered wet underwater.

For the record, it is no to both questions.


Mission Trip

A kid a church telling me about the mission trip I went on. Not only was I not on that trip, but I had never been on any mission trip. We were good friends, so it's not like he would've mistaken someone else for me.

He insisted I was there as if an entire week long trip would just fall out of my memory. He even had stories of things we'd done together. I'm not sure if he thought I was lying, joking, stupid, or crazy, but I was pretty sure he was some combination thereof.


Dragon Tales

One time I got into a shouting match with my mom and little brother in the car. The issue? The names of the two-headed dragon from the PBS kids afternoon show Dragon Tales. I swore it was Zack and Macie.

It was actually Zak and Wheezie. I don't even remember why we were yelling about it.


Green Or Yellow?

When I was about 15 or so my mother and I spent about 20-30 minutes arguing about the color of a shirt. We agreed it was blue/green, but to me it was just a shade more blue, while to her it was just a bit more green.

Turns out, your eyeballs yellow as you age and hers were 24 years yellower than mine, so I think that skewed her color vision.


Stars In Their Multitude


I once got in an argument over whether or not a line from the song "Stars" in Les Mis says "...but mine is the way of the lord" or "mine is the way of the law".

I didn't even really care what he thought but he was so adamant and cocky that it got me heated. By the end of it we were shouting at each other and I had to apologize, which I think is what he wanted the whole time.



My brother is colorblind. And he CONSTANTLY tries to correct me on what color things are.

"Hey could you hand me that red _____?" "that's orange" "no, it's red" "orange" "YOU CANT EVEN KNOW".

It is the base of our most common and heated arguments.


Hot Water

About five years ago, my girlfriend (now wife) once had a very intense argument about whether or not hot water cleaned things better than cold water.

She genuinely believed that water temperature didn't matter. This is someone who has not one, but two masters degrees.

We argued for something like 2 hours, and we seriously almost broke up over the whole thing.


Biology Class

I had an argument with a girl IN THE MIDDLE OF A BIOLOGY CLASS in high school about how humans are not mammals. She thought a human was a human and we are not mammals because "mammals are animals and humans are not animals"

I tried explaining to her the difference between reptiles and mammals and how humans fall under the mammal category to try and educate her... but she just wouldn't listen.

I still have no idea why the BIOLOGY teacher did not get involved...


Solid Or Liquid?

Some classmates and I got into a heated debate as to whether or not the human body could count as a soup, salad, or sandwich. The teacher got mad at us, but hey! All we were doing was watching a movie.

For the record, my logic lays with soup- Liquid contained within a solid, at a hot temperature.