Aghast People Share The Most Pretentious Things They've Ever Seen.

You don't understand! I'm special! I have many leather-bound books! My cat drives a Porsche! I know Steve Buscemi! My IQ is 312! I have a Master's in everything! My husband makes more money than yours does! ...And that's why I deserve a free soy mocha latte with extra whip. 

Think that was pretentious? I got nothin' on these Quora users.


You know those ATM receipts that everyone throws out? Some machines provide bank balances. An old friend of mine would rummage through the trash bin next to the ATM to find the ones showing the highest balances. He would save the ones over $10,000.

He would take a few with him every time he went to a club. If a girl asked for his number, and they always did, he would write it on the back of a receipt and hand it to her.

Sadly, it worked every time. They would always call.

Ugh. I hated that guy.

Ken Scrimale

I had just gotten engaged and it was the first time I had ever worn my pretty sparkly diamond. I was thrilled! I couldn't stop staring at my hand.

My husband and I had gone to the jeweller together to choose the ring. I chose a pretty heart-shaped diamond. It was fairly small at just under a carat, but it was crystal-clear, and of fine quality. My fellow was not a cheapskate. He insisted it be of the finest quality, although that wasn't very important to me.

It is the first (and only) precious stone I will ever own, the single diamond in my collection. It is a symbol of my devotion, my pledge and loyalty to the one I love.

That day, joining in the festivities of our best friend's house party (it was a holiday), I felt triumphant; I had finally become officially engaged. 

While circulating, and speaking to different people at the party, I tried not to gesture too much with my newly bedazzled hand. I couldn't help myself, though. 

My fianc, mentioning our ring, grabbed my hand and stilled it for the ladies to take a closer look. They craned their bird necks in towards my hand, and then they opened their mouths. (continued...)


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Oh, you just got engaged, and THAT'S your ring? they chirped. This lighthearted ribbing seemed to encourage one awful woman in the group, who ran with the joke. She made one cruel comment after another.

Will somebody please bring me a magnifying glass so that I can see this thing? she said. Hmm. It's pretty. Where's the rest of it?

The woman squawked at her own joke, the other women parroted her laughter, then she held her hand up next to my own, and compared her much larger diamond to my smaller one.

She told me how cute mine was as she wrinkled her beak in disgust.

It's so SMALL, you poor thing. You know, I made sure MY husband knew I wouldn't marry him unless he gave me at least two carats. What is this one? Less than a carat? Maybe a half carat? It's so tiny! Here's what you need to do, honey. Ask him to take it to get it cleaned. That's what I did. After complaining for a year. He made sure to come back with a ring twice the size than what he left with! Don't marry your guy until he comes back with something much bigger.

I couldn't figure out why someone wouldn't marry the love of their life if he couldn't produce a huge diamond for her. I must have looked confused, because she laughed, patted me on the head as if I were a child, and sucked her teeth in pity for me as she rose to leave me with that thought.

My heart collapsed inside, as the flock of ladies, stood and waddled over to peck at the buffet, leaving me sitting on the step staring at my pretty, tiny ring.

I let it sparkle in the sunshine, catching the rainbows, and smiled.

Wendi Tibbets

When I was in college, a girl in my dorm received a new pair of expensive brand name acid washed jeans (this was around 1986). The girl did not like clothing with showy labels, so she carefully tore it off. 

Her roommate, Jennifer, took the label and sewed it on to her no name jeans. Jennifer was very pretentious. 

Another incident that comes to mind with Jennifer was when we went on a visit to Tijuana. She bought a fake purse there from a very high end brand. We went into another store there which was also selling knock-offs and she showed the clerk in that store her purse. She asked him if he thought it was real and he said yes. 

When we got back to school, she told everybody that she bought this purse and that it was a real purse and she had it appraised to verify its authenticity.

She was a nice enough person. Looking back on it, I guess she just had low self-esteem and thought that she could impress people with what she wore.

Gary Friedman

I used to be in a relationship with a person who did that Im going to lay the entire tip out on the table at the start of the meal, then make a big show of subtracting money every time the server displeases me thing. (continued...)


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It was obnoxious. He also thought that he could get service faster by slowly nudging the water glass closer and closer to the edge of the table; the idea was that the waiter would be inexorably drawn to a piece of glassware about to drop and break.

Theres a reason hes an ex.

Ive also ridden in a car with someone who honest-to-goodness said these words: Outta my way, Im in an SUV! Until that point, I hadnt realized anyone actually said that.

Amorette Dye

Yesterday, I flew back to Miami from Las Vegas. There was a 30-something-year-old woman in business class, dressed head to toe in a crazy high-end designer. Whole outfit was easily worth just as much as her plane ticket.

As I walked towards my seat and passed her, I realized she was not by herself. She had a little puppy with her.

Guess what the little dog was wearing and what bag she was in?

Yeah, there you go, you got it.

The same designer.

One of the most pretentious things I have ever seen.

Peter T Mayer

I lived in LA for 5 years, so the stories are plentiful. You could feel the pretense around you at all times. I was openly criticized for my wardrobe, my hair, my lack of plastic surgery, etc. Forget the wanna-bes and the barely-actors - literally 80% of the population was like this. My prime example:

I went to a friend of a friends house to pick up this woman, lets call her Jane. Her house was huge, in a nice neighborhood, perfectly manicured, and had some sort of high end luxury vehicle that was obviously over $50k. I was wondering what her husband did for a living because even with our two incomes we couldnt afford a place like that. We lived in a modest two bedroom apartment and drove a Civic.

Then the door opened. It was empty, as if the movers hadnt arrived yet. We piled into my car and she wrinkled her nose and said, I didnt know anyone still drove Civics these days! 

Turning a bit red I asked, So why dont we take your car?

She was flummoxed that I would call her out for that. But after a moment she explained. (continued...)


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She didnt have gas and payday was next week, so she couldnt put gas in the car.

They had lived in that house, in that condition for over a year. She bought high end clothing brands at multiple stores, made sure I saw all of the tags and refused to buy anything on sale because that was soooo last season.

Her house doesnt have furniture, she cant afford gas, she doesnt have a job, and all of these extravagant things were going on credit cards.

Jennifer Bullard

One day I was standing in the Presidential suite of the hotel I was working for at the time, waiting to take down the luggage of a guest who was in the room. I wont say who it was. He had prepaid two weeks in this hotel room, at 15k a night (210k for the stay) before taxes and fees.

This was on day three of his stay.

He had four people packing all of his luggage when he walked out of the main bedroom to the bar in the living room. He took out a can of Coke, opened it, took a small sip of it, and set it down. He then walked over to where his people were packing his luggage, and gave last minute instructions really quickly.

He then walked back to the bar, opened a new can of Coke, took a small sip of it, set it down, and then went down to the lobby and shuttled off to the airport without ever checking out or getting the rest of the money(165k) he spent on the stay back.

30-second-old Coke was not good enough for this man. That is why he required a second can.

For those wondering why he left after 3 days? He felt the urge to go swimming in the ocean.

Michael Ken Matsumoto

I cooked a dinner party for a regular guest of the restaurant at which I worked. This was something he did every year. He had two wines to pour with the main course. One was a Bordeaux Superior (which is a relatively low-level Bordeaux, think thirteen dollars a bottle). The other was a Burgundy of such shaky provenance that the village wasnt even noted in the appellation (in English, this was a lowest-of-the-low-level Burgundy, like a fifteen dollar bottle).

But that didnt stop him. (continued…)


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He referred to the Bordeaux as grand cru, which is a legally controlled classification (and this one wasnt). Then he called the Burgundy super grand cru, which is not a thing. And even if it was a thing, this particular Burgundy wasnt it. There was nothing wrong with the wine he was pouring, it just blows my mind how much trouble he was going to to make everyone think it was expensive.

He also gave the cooks gift-baskets, which was nice, and which I really appreciated. Each one had a bottle of bottom-shelf Rioja in it, which he described as a fifty-dollar bottle. Again, it wasnt. It was a ten dollar bottle. And I, a broke cook, was happy to get my hands on it. 

But why did he lie? He just made himself look like a clown, when he was throwing a really nice party. I felt bad for him.

Jesse Sutton

I was serving this couple at a beachside restaurant. They were in their late 20s. The guy was shirtless and the girl had designer shades and purse. At the beach.

Anyway, it was Saturday lunch and we were slammed. The man asked for a side of chipotle mayo sauce to go with their popcorn shrimp. It costs 50 cents, but I had to ring it in or else Id get in trouble from the kitchen manager.

I was tending to other tables when the man walks up to me and says, Hey! Weve been waiting over ten minutes for that sauce. (It was five minutes max.) I tell him itll be coming out right away, but he refuses to leave me alone.

He follows me around the restaurant and shows me his I.D. saying, I work for the state, bro. You better get me that sauce right now. Ill give you fifty bucks to go in the kitchen and grab it. I tell him to keep his money and go back to the table seeing as Id already rung it through.

He continues to linger and hover over me as I put in an order on one of the computers. Finally, he turns around and sees the sauce was delivered to his table. His girlfriend motions him over.

He mutters a homophobic slur under his breath as he walks away. I just kept my cool and didnt respond. I dropped off their check and was cordial with them afterwards. They ended up leaving a one dollar tip on a sixty dollar bill, so in hindsight I wish Id taken that suckers fifty dollars.

Erick Diaz

I pulled up to a drive-thru ATM one time with only one car ahead of me at the machine. I was chatting a bit with my kids who were in the car and subconsciously realized that the car at the ATM had been there for at least three minutes, which is a comparatively long time to wait in an ATM line. (continued...)


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I started watching the car directly and realized that the driver was having zero interactions with the ATM machine itself: no button pushing, envelope inserting, etc. Meanwhile, another three or so cars had lined up behind my own.

After nearly another two full minutes of this, I got out of my vehicle and started approaching the car from the drivers side. Inside, I spotted a middle-aged woman who was chatting away on her phone with the window rolled up. She caught my movement toward her in the rear view mirror, hung up the phone, rolled down her window and profusely apologized for blocking access to the machine and indicated she would move. Although I was annoyed, I politely waved to her and turned back to walking toward my car to pull ahead to the ATM.

Id like to say that was the end of it, but after walking back another 10 feet or so, this woman quickly opened her door to lean out backward from the drivers seat and called out slightly annoyed to me saying, Sorry again. I was just trying to get caught up with consultations for some of my patients. And then she drove off.

To this day, I have no idea whether this person was a full-fledged M.D., a veterinary nutritionist, or something in between. But in her mind being someone responsible for patients (as well as having an apparent lack of time management skills) made her important enough to be wholly excused for parking her car anywhere she cared to.

Paul Cortez

I used to work at a department store in an upscale area. Im a sometimes smoker, so I would occasionally go out to the bench in the parking garage to have a cigarette. This was right outside one of the doors, and therefore next to the designated spaces for people with disabilities. 

Non-handicapped people would park in them from time to time, and although it annoyed me, I didnt usually find the courage to say anything. 

One day though, a young woman pulled into the space. She got out and it was like a scene from a movie. She was tall and blonde, and her hair swayed in the wind. She looked like a supermodel. 

I stepped up to her and said, Excuse me, but youve parked in a handicapped space. 

She pulled her sunglasses down her nose, looked at me with vacant eyes, and said, Im only going in for a minute. Then she slid her glasses back up and walked off like she couldnt be bothered. 

Lisa Nolte

Source.

Answers edited for clarity.

Have you ever found yourself in an argument so stupid and/or pointless that you were sure you were being punked? Like you keep looking away from the other person to check your surroundings for places Ashton Kutcher and a camera crew could come popping out of?

You're not the only one.

u/Anti-hollowkid asked: What is the dumbest argument you've ever been in?

Brace yourselves, folks. Some of these arguments are breathtakingly bonkers. The sheer number of people who are willing to argue with someone over provable facts and what that other person likes or doesn't like is just ... stunning. It's stunning, you guys. Just not in a good way.

I Know What I Like

Giphy

My wife and I once argued over whether or not I liked mustard on my hot dog. I was for me liking mustard, she was against me liking mustard.

The argument lasted way longer that you could ever imagine it would.

- AardvarkAndy

A Stair Step

My brother and I argued if our staircase had 13 or 14 steps, based on an argument about if the floor of the second floor counts as a stair-step or not. We still have no solution.

- RazerWolf04

My dad is a stairbuilder and I spent many summers working at his warehouse, so I can clear this up. 14.

- Apples9308

Saturdays

My husband and I have this thing where we only say "I love you" on Saturdays. Every other day it's "I love you, but only on Saturdays." I don't know how it started, but it's been going for 11 years now.

We're both shiftworkers, so sometimes we have to stop and think what day it actually is. We had an argument recently over whether it was Saturday or not. I said it was Saturday, he said it was Friday. It was Monday.

- FormalMango

Iraq

I remember when I was about 13 my parents had an hour-long shouting match that ended with them almost getting divorced. The issue? Whether or not the nation of Iraq has a coastline.

My mother arguing that Iraq had a coastline, while my stepdad argued that it did not. This was back in 2004, and they are still quite happily married to this day. That incident is something they look back on and laugh about, and both of them admit it was really a pretty stupid thing to argue over.

- dontcryformegiratina

$40

With an ex:

"I owe you $80 for the bills of ours that you pay, and you owe me $40 for the bills of ours that I paid. Here's $40 in cash; we're even."

She did not understand this.

I literally had to go get another $40 out of the ATM, and hand the $80 to her. Then I had her hand me the $40 she owed me.

"Now how much do you have in your hand?"

She still didn't understand.

She somehow has a college degree.

- Speedly

Mini Wheats

When we were kids my brother and I got in a physical fight because he said I like mini wheats and I insisted I didn't. His argument was that I always sang the mini wheats song and I was deeply offended that he wasn't aware that it was just stuck in my head but I hated the cereal. I actually did like the cereal I'm not sure why I was arguing with him about it but I remember how genuinely angry I was.

- shicole3

Crayons

Giphy

I'll tell you about the only legal trouble I've ever been in, the fight that got me arrested. It started over whether we should return a box of crayons or not, and to this day I don't have any idea how it escalated to the point of the cops being called, but they were and I was the one taken in.

- CorrectionalChard

That's Unfair

My boyfriend insisted that when two people are in an argument and one makes a point so reasonable and logical the other one can't disagree with it - it's unfair. I tried, logically and reasonably, to explain several times why that is just winning the argument, proving your point thoroughly and is completely fair.

His answer was that I was being unfair.

- ShyAcorn

Pure Masochism

How the ch in masochism is pronounced. My friend caught me saying "masoKism" while he would say "masoSYism."

To be fair, he grew up speaking French, in which the ch in masochism is pronounced in "his" way. But he insisted that I was the wrong one here and that was just infuriating.

- argofire

Emailing NASA

A woman was adamant that looking at the big solar eclipse on the television was unsafe unless you were wearing glasses. She wouldn't believe us and insisted on emailing NASA to check.

- derawin07

A Non-Standard Ruler? 

I worked for a company that made signs. We had a customer ask for signs that were 7mm wide that were to go on a door. Our sign makers figured the order meant inches because 7mm is pretty small, so made them 7 inches. I got a phone call from the customer who went mad at me for making them the wrong size. So I put a reorder through for 7 mm.

Argued with the sign makers over it but they eventually agreed to do it after I shown them the order in writing. I even had the customer put her complaint in writing, reiterating the size they wanted.

7mm signs went out and a day later I get the customer on the phone literally screaming at me.

Cue the dumb argument - we ended up having an argument over how big a millimetre is, and obviously everyone in the office were laughing, but this customer just wouldn't accept it and said we must be using a non-standard ruler to measure.

Ended up being escalating to the sales department manager who refused to issue a refund. We still don't know what they actually meant.

- Lovelocke

This Unusual Vegan Argument

Was in a pub with a few friends, and some random Dude dropped an ear, and somehow figured I'm vegan. Well, people like him are the reason I usually avoid mentioning it. He came up to me and insisted on starting a discussion about veganism. He claimed that by the end of it, I would be eating meat again.

He listed some stupid arguments, I told him I was not convinced and then tried to keep on drinking beer with my friends. He followed me, and wanted me to "try to convert him to a vegan." I stupidly listed some of my reasons thinking it would make him go away. He told me he still was not convinced, so I was like whatever. Again, I really just wanted to drink beer with my friends.

That dude followed me all night and expected me to try make him vegan. Doesn't matter what I said, and all the reasons that for me are obviously good enough to be vegan. He'd be just like "No, that doesn't convince me, therefore your argument and how you life is stupid."

Didn't matter how often I told him that I honestly don't care; 5 minutes later he would come up to me again "I'm still not vegan, so veganism is stupid, all your arguments were stupid, now give me a good reason to become vegan!" At one point, I was literally yelling at him that I don't give a single flying f about what he eats and why, that it's in no way my responsibility to "turn somebody vegan" and in no way his business what I eat.

Honestly, for that dude, I would have bought a whole ham, just to shove it up his stupid annoying face.

- onlytruebertos

Monty Python

In college my roommate and I argued about a line in Monty Python & the Holy Grail. The scene with the Black Knight where the line "Alright, we'll call it a draw" is uttered. We argued about who said that line, whether it was King Arthur or the Black Knight.

It went on for hours longer than it should have because I was stubborn and refused to admit I was wrong.

- Skrivus

Albert or Arnold

Giphy

Whether Albert Einstein or Arnold Schwarzenegger would be more useful to have around during a Zombie apocalypse. How on earth would Albert Einstein come in handy!?

- Gerrard1995

Below Sea Level

I live on an island and when you go upland and you look out the sea looks like it's higher than or on the same level as the land. It's just a weird perspective thing because of the horizon. One day some kid says that it's because the island is under sea level.


I'm like wtf bro all of us would be with the fishes. He argues that no that's not true and if I just go upland I'll see. We then spend a good 5 minutes of my time arguing about it until I decided to leave this kid in his stupidity. He even said we shouldn't believe everything adults tell us and sometimes we need to think for ourselves.

This kid was older than me and was going to a good school. Lost my respect for him ever since then.

- -justforclout-

Tomash

Someone tried to fight with me over how to spell my name.

Now, my name is in a lot of languages with slightly different spellings. I would have accepted any of those spellings, but this one was just... Not even close. It didn't make any logical sense.


An analogous example is if my name was Thomas and someone was insisting it was spelled Tomash. And not just the name Thomas in general, but that me specifically, on my birth certificate, was named Tomash. I know how to spell my own name.

I swear to god, it went on for like an hour.

- TK-DuVeraun

Whales Are Mammals

I was in an online chat room one day, and we were talking about whales. I commented on how whales are mammals and the next thing you know, someone was arguing with me and trying to convince me that a whale was a fish.

- kawaii_psycho451

Microwaves

Stupid microwaves. Having a man child talk down to me about how microwaves work only for him to google it and prove me right. He slept on the sofa that night.

- sun_phobic

Shower Schedule

My friend keeps telling me that the norm is that a person should shower once a week. This has been going on for years. I'm almost convinced he's trolling me.

- LibrarianGovernment

No Balloons For Grandma

My cousin and I argued over a balloon going to Heaven. We were at his big sisters prom send off and he let a balloon go and it went high into the sky.

He then said this balloon will go up past space and go to Heaven and reach grandma (God rest her soul). And I was like no it's not and it's probably not even gonna reach space. Releasing balloons is terrible for the environment and kills/harms so much wildlife.

He got really mad and defensive and started telling me to google it and do my research and I'm like I don't have to google it you idiot. He was mad at me for a good week.

- Dskee02

Spontaneous Dolphin Existence

Giphy

How dolphins reproduced. It took me a few solid minutes of explaining to her that dolphins have reproductive organs and that they did not just pop into existence. The argument began with her saying she wanted to work with sea creatures.

Personally, I hope she was messing with me cause I lost a little faith in humanity that day.

- thebeststory

Male Chickens

I repeatedly had the argument with a friend over whether roosters were chickens. She was convinced that only the females were chickens (hens). We were 18 at the time.

- bee_zah

Lightning McQueen

Me and my friend were drinking underage, we ended up in an argument of whether lightning McQueen's eyes were blue or green. Somehow throughout the whole thing both of us never thought to straight up google a picture.

- 23071115

But ... Ice Floats

Waiter/Host here.

Woman wanted ice on the bottom of her drink.

Now read that sentence again and try to imagine arguing with that particular brand of stupid.

- FarWoods

Time Zones Exist

Coworker claimed that it was the same time of day and the same season on the whole globe. Had to get 4 coworkers to confirm to him that time zones do in fact exist.

- JustARegularToaster

Colorblind

My brother is colorblind. And he CONSTANTLY tries to correct me on what color things are.

"Hey could you hand me that red _____?"

"that's orange"

"no, it's red"

"orange"

"YOU CANT EVEN KNOW"

It is the base of our most common and heated arguments.

- droneb2hive

Andre 2000?

Giphy

I'm late, but I saw this question and instantly remembered that I was booted from a Facebook group because I called someone out on a lie that was not only bull, but extremely pointless. She was friends with the moderator and they made the case that my argument over such a little lie was more of a problem than the lie itself (though they didn't refer to it as a lie.)


The woman said that she used to babysit for Andre 3000 and that his name was Andre 2000 - but he changed it after the year 2000 had passed. This was so easily disproven it was ridiculous. Their debut album came out in 1994 and he was already going by Andre 3000 at that time.

The argument wasn't a huge long drawn out thing, but the fact that either of us were on Facebook at separate times meant that the responses were over a long period of time so this argument lasted a few days.

It was stupid.

- P1ST0L_Wh1PP3D

Stars Like Our Sun

I was arguing with my grandpa about stars he didn't believe that there are other stars like our sun. Basically he thought there is only the sun, the moon and the earth.

fox_boi2

Richard Nixon

I have a degree in history. I mostly focused on nationalism. Wrote a 50 page paper on it and Richard Nixon with around 50 100 sources. Looked at micro film for hours on end. Part of the paper focused on how Nixon being chair of the house committee of Unamerican Activities was used as a powerful weapon to use against political enemies. It also inspired Joe McCarthy. Have had people tell me I was wrong and Nixon was never elected to a position besides the president and Joe McCarthy came before Nixon. I stopped trying to talk history to people.


I also know quite a bit about the history of the Balkans its amazing how many Serbs refuse to believe Tito did anything wrong.

Wrote 100 page paper on nationalism in Israel. Its frustrating to talk about because for some reason a lot of people think Palestinian firing rockets randomly into Israel is ok but if Israel retaliates the people get up in arms over a targeted air strike that kills 3 people.

grumblecakes1

Balloon to Heaven

My cousin and I argued over a balloon going to Heaven. We were at his big sisters prom send off and he let a balloon go and it went high into the sky. He then said this balloon will go up past space and go to Heaven and reach grandma (God rest her soul). And I was like no it's not and it's probably not even gonna reach space.

And he got really mad and defensive and started telling me to google it and do my research and I'm like I don't have to google it you idiot. He was mad at me for a good week.

Dskee02

Binder Clips

I got into an argument with a co-worker over how we were attaching two pages of a letter together: small binder clips or paper clips.

He felt that paper clips would leave a "dent" in the paper when removed, but binder clips won't. He refused to staple them together. I felt that binder clips would also leave a "dent", so we might as well just use the paper clips.

It ended with him saying: "Do what you want [me], I don't care!" and storming off.

justantherredditgirl

Jewish

Once got accused of faking being Jewish. Why? I have no clue. We argued over the course of a month, any time I'd bring it up and she heard about it, she'd begin going after me for "faking it".

My mother's side is ethnically Jewish. Grandparents were practicing.

Aslkurloz

Nutella

Giphy

3 friends and I once got into an argument about how to pronounce Nutella. It lasted for about 3-4 months. It was hilarious how serious we took it, it'd get heated but never for real serious.

I think someone even called the company that made it to check, or that may have been for the Cheetos company. We were really bored in high school.

vault_tec_redditor

Lingerie Boxes

Late to the party, but there it is.

I'm a manager at a small store. We're only 4 working there, so my team and I grew very close and we joke around a lot. Once during a slow shift, my employee and I had an argument because we were looking at the lingerie boxes, and I thought that two specific boxes had the same woman on it, but she was 100% positive they weren't the same person.

Looking back, I don't know why it was such a big deal to us at the time, but we even called another employee who lives across the street to come and tell us what the heck was up with that. Turns out I was right, and she was pretty salty about it. It was a great night.

Meh75

Wicked Witch of the West

I almost got into an argument with an old girlfriend over Glinda the good witch from Oz. She insisted that Glinda was manipulating Dorothy to assassinate the Wicked Witch of the West and convince the Wizard to leave to create a political void she could fill.

I conceded the issue when I heard the whole premise because I thought it was too damn stupid to get worked up over.

weirdatwork2017

Keep Your Hands to Yourself

Just the other day I legit got in an argument with my co-workers on why I don't like my butt being grabbed by anyone (I'm a guy). Seriously.

They went on about "I don't mind it. Mike and I do it all the time and we don't care." Yeah, that's nice dude, but I'm not you, and there's something called "Keep your hands to yourself" (which was taught to a good portion of us growing up). Just like how Karen wouldn't like it if I touched her boobs or her grabbing your crotch or frankly ANY area you wouldn't like being grabbed, keep away. In general, you should not be touching me in any areas after I've told you not to several times before.

So unless you're sleeping me or dating me, keep your damn hands off my toosh.

Frisby2007

Telekinesis

My best friend and I argued over whether or not telekinesis was possible. Her argument was that humans don't yet know what the human brain at 100% usage was capable of, and that telekinesis was inside the possibilities.

I said the brain does use 100%, just at different times.

We didn't speak to each other for four days.

dude_bizarro

Ghosts

How dolphins reproduced and whether or not ghost existed (back to back with the same person). It took me a few solid minutes of explaining to her that dolphins have reproductive organs and that they did not just pop into existence (the argument began with her saying she wanted to work with sea creatures).


How it shifted to the existence of ghosts is a solid and reasonable question to ask (I don't remember why). I had to then proceed to tell her that ghost hunting TV shows do not constitute as undeniable evidence.

Personally, I hope she was messing with me cause I lost a little faith in humanity that day. This was in high school SO... hopefully she was kidding.

thebeststory

Dogs and Chocolate

Giphy

I told this stupid woman that chocolate is toxic to dogs. She went on to tell me how a little bit will just make them hyper and then they will calm down. I told her to google it. Her and her bf shut right up. Now they have a kid. Good luck, Jeremy and Andrea. morons.

I should also add that this argument started because Jeremy was giving his tiny dog chocolate and I told him it was toxic.

KlutzyHedgehog

Is water wet?

My roommate and I have a recurring argument over whether or not water is wet l, and whether or not a person is considered wet underwater.

For the record, it is no to both questions.

SFCopperhead

Mission Trip

A kid a church telling me about the mission trip I went on. Not only was I not on that trip, but I had never been on any mission trip. We were good friends, so it's not like he would've mistaken someone else for me.

He insisted I was there as if an entire week long trip would just fall out of my memory. He even had stories of things we'd done together. I'm not sure if he thought I was lying, joking, stupid, or crazy, but I was pretty sure he was some combination thereof.

SirRogers

Dragon Tales

One time I got into a shouting match with my mom and little brother in the car. The issue? The names of the two-headed dragon from the PBS kids afternoon show Dragon Tales. I swore it was Zack and Macie.

It was actually Zak and Wheezie. I don't even remember why we were yelling about it.

MistalQueensglaive

Green Or Yellow?

When I was about 15 or so my mother and I spent about 20-30 minutes arguing about the color of a shirt. We agreed it was blue/green, but to me it was just a shade more blue, while to her it was just a bit more green.

Turns out, your eyeballs yellow as you age and hers were 24 years yellower than mine, so I think that skewed her color vision.

BugsRatty

Stars In Their Multitude

Giphy

I once got in an argument over whether or not a line from the song "Stars" in Les Mis says "...but mine is the way of the lord" or "mine is the way of the law".

I didn't even really care what he thought but he was so adamant and cocky that it got me heated. By the end of it we were shouting at each other and I had to apologize, which I think is what he wanted the whole time.

theedjman

Colorblind

My brother is colorblind. And he CONSTANTLY tries to correct me on what color things are.

"Hey could you hand me that red _____?" "that's orange" "no, it's red" "orange" "YOU CANT EVEN KNOW".

It is the base of our most common and heated arguments.

droneb2hive

Hot Water

About five years ago, my girlfriend (now wife) once had a very intense argument about whether or not hot water cleaned things better than cold water.

She genuinely believed that water temperature didn't matter. This is someone who has not one, but two masters degrees.

We argued for something like 2 hours, and we seriously almost broke up over the whole thing.

moniker5000

Biology Class

I had an argument with a girl IN THE MIDDLE OF A BIOLOGY CLASS in high school about how humans are not mammals. She thought a human was a human and we are not mammals because "mammals are animals and humans are not animals"

I tried explaining to her the difference between reptiles and mammals and how humans fall under the mammal category to try and educate her... but she just wouldn't listen.

I still have no idea why the BIOLOGY teacher did not get involved...

10d4plus8

Solid Or Liquid?

Some classmates and I got into a heated debate as to whether or not the human body could count as a soup, salad, or sandwich. The teacher got mad at us, but hey! All we were doing was watching a movie.

For the record, my logic lays with soup- Liquid contained within a solid, at a hot temperature.

ScreamingPotoo