Airbnb Owners Share Their Most Regrettable And Nightmarish Guest Experiences

Airbnb Owners Share Their Most Regrettable And Nightmarish Guest Experiences

Imagine renting out your living space to a complete stranger. Everything will go smoothly and you will get paid, right? Not likely! That type of intimate exchange comes with a lot of juicy stories and usually a little bit of regret.

44th_king asks:

Airbnb landlords what's your worst guest story?

Get ready for these gems!

Is kitchen!?

I had one "tenant" make a porn. I didn't find out until I was cruising around. I noticed my living room and kitchen

The house party

Not the landlord, but the neighbor of one. She rented her house out, and the tenant threw a massive house party with over a hundred people in it. They destroyed her house and tore down our fence as they fled when the cops arrived on scene.

Borderline worst-case scenario

My boss rented out his old house on Airbnb and in the night they took every item and piece of furniture in an afternoon except a sofa.

Greedy guests!

We did a bit and it was ok. Worst wasn't bad at all, but a bit of a culture clash.

They complained our house, a 100 year-old cottage in the New Forest, southern England, didn't have a particular type of bedding (only found in America), and didn't have 'bug screens'.

We tried to explain that 'bug screens' simply don't exist anywhere in the UK, but they didn't really get it.

We got a so-so review for having a house missing these so-called 'basic conveniences', despite our trying to explain that things are a bit different in the UK to America.

We were their first stop before they headed up to Edinburgh. I hope the rest of their trip didn't bring them too many surprises, but I have a suspicion they would have spent the whole two weeks bitching about how things are different to America.

They had some nerve!

I have a couple. One guest used my house to cheat on his wife and then proceeded to proposition me. The reason I quit hosting was because of a couple who stayed with me for $500 for a whole month. They had a two room suite with a bed and TV in one room and a futon, TV, computer, printer, small fridge and microwave in the other room a very very large walk in closet and an en suite bathroom, and they still took over my entire house. I ended up staying in my room if I wasn't at work. They ate all of their meals for the day from the breakfast food I provided so I was spending about $50 a week on breakfast food. I forgot to preset the coffee maker ONCE and the wife complained about it the entire day. She was unbearable, nothing was good enough for her. The next year even though my home wasn't listed on Airbnb, they had the nerve to email me and ask me to stay with me for 2 months at a much lower rate.

Come on, fight me!

Converted a rental house for Airbnb use. Bought furniture from Craig's List and Ikea, fixed it up, found a property manager for it. Turned on the listing.

Second booking was a 20-something woman with no previous reviews on airbnb. She booked the whole house for just one Saturday night. Our manager warns us "that sounds like she's planning a party". We respond that the listing makes it very clear that parties are not allowed. My girlfriend, who runs the business, writes to this woman twice and phones her once to remind her of the "no parties" rule. The woman keeps assuring us "Oh no, I would never do that. It's just me, my two friends, and my brother coming over for dinner."

Saturday comes along, we're staying in the house next door, and around 9:30 we hear music coming from our rental house. We look out the window and disco lights are running in the house. In the kitchen, a group of women are moving huge pots into the kitchen. A little later, we see them emptying ice, fruit juice, and several bottles of liquor into the pots.

My girlfriend decides enough is enough and goes over there to remind them of the "no parties" rule.

"Oh, no, we're not having a party, just my brother and his wife coming over for dinner." "Ok, then, where's the food? Who are all these people?". My girlfriend turns away about twenty people who show up at the door.

After breaking into tears and telling my girlfriend "You're ruining my life!", she agrees to leave, and the party is over. My girlfriend still had to turn away a couple of carloads of would-be partiers.

The night ends with two of the woman's friends pacing back and forth in front of the house screaming at my girlfriend. "You b*! You f***_b! Give us our deposit back! Come out and fight me, b! B! B_!".

Plants in the garden are uprooted. Pots are smashed. Neighbors start to gather. Police are called.

The next morning involves cleaning up, repotting plants, and writing letters of apology to the neighbors.

When your Airbnb visit involves a SWAT team...

Nothing bad about my guest, but the whole timing was horrible. This Korean Kid (probably 20-22yrs), spoke very little English and his first time in America, he arrives at my house about 8:00pm (Renting just a single bedroom for 4-days. I will add at the time my house was not in the best neighborhood). He arrives and I am not home yet, he lets himself in and probably reads the info sheet I left out... I get back about 9:00pm and the entire area around my house (4-block in all directions) is locked down by the police, they tell me I can't enter but I explain the scenario about a new International Kid living at my house, so they escort me through the alley to my house. I go inside the house and he is in his room kind of scared to come out. At this time the SWAT Team is in front of my house, News crews down the street and I find out the brother of the person across the street just beat his GF with a bat, then ran a couple blocks and broke into his brothers house to hide. He is a Felon with a Warrant and they believe he may be armed. The Korean Kid (Forgot his Name) asked me if this is what America is always like as we watch out the window. Anyways 2hrs later they kick in the door, throw flash-bangs inside and go in, 5-minutes later they carry him out Limp, handcuffed and ankle cuffed and lay him on the street while medics look at him. He was very frightened to do anything the whole time he stayed with me because he thought it is very dangerous to go outside!

Edit: sorry my punctuation and grammar are awful, I'm too lazy to correct it currently.

When things get a little wild!

I always offer to take my guests out on the town, I always host on the weekend. First off, my friends and I go pretty hard when we go out. This couple, maybe in their early 30s and very professional, had not planned on getting shitfaced, but after a couple drinks they decided to stay out late drinking with us. The next morning I woke up still drunk, walked out to my living room to find the man passed out on my rug, 10 ft from the bedroom, and he had pissed himself. I'm a super laid back guy, so I found it hilarious, the girlfriend, not so much. He was still out for the count, so we dragged him into the shower and turned it on. I made them breakfast and 30 minutes later when we went to check on him, he was still passed out but in the shower. She was so pissed off, then they left. I received a nice apology over the phone later in the week but I never got a new rug :(

Now I hear Big Lebowski jokes whenever I tell the story, which I love.

Taking over staying your welcome to the max!

I had an Airbnb guest try to steal a free night.

She originally booked for 1 night and wanted to stay longer - fine - she offers me cash, I say NO.

So she books another night on Airbnb.

Then she wants to book another, further night and also bring her son.

Ok, I say, please amend your booking through Airbnb.

So she does - adding her child and swapping the day to the day after leaving one night during her stay unpaid for.

So my calendar had a gap in it (after I approved the change without checking)

So on the afternoon of the night she has no longer paid for I go to her room to confront her...

She wants to do anything but pay it, she wants to open a dispute with Airbnb - blah blah - I said 'fine, but it's a live listing and someone might book it, so hurry up'

I doubt she bothered trying to contact Airbnb and after 2 hours of hearing nothing I submitted an alteration request to her myself.

At around 7pm, I asked her if she's seen the request. No, messages go to her husbands phone... whatever, and she still wants to call Airbnb.

I said, 'Ok please do that now'

Then she goes to floss her teeth.

At 9pm I finally confront her fiercely and demand that she accepts my request immediately for that night because I want to go to bed and she's not staying for free.

She told me that 'wasn't good for her' and I said 'You must do it anyway because according to Air - you aren't even HERE and that's not acceptable to ME.

Anyway, she did it... and I didn't hear another peep out of her and it's been a week since she checked out.

She also did not apologise.

It's all in the details

We offer a room on AirBnB, nothing fancy but it's a super convenient location and we've gone much further with setting up than the 'spare bed for the night' price would otherwise justify.

We had someone leave a bad review because there were "too many cushions on the bed". He was with us three or four nights and not once mentioned this to us despite us chiming in with the typical "Is everything OK?" Every other time we saw him.

To this day I feel that, if we had collectively put our minds together we could have probably worked out a solution for this most heinous of crimes. To make matters worse the professional photos of the room showed the exact same cushions on the bed in nearly two thirds of the shots. With the week or so booking notice he gave us I'm positively certain we could have hammered out a strategy for removing a couple of cushions prior to his arrival.

Not our worst guest by far, but definitely the most asinine.

I think you forgot something...

Rented from a guy on Airbnb. He was super nice, beautiful home, had tablets in every room. Apologized to us that, the tablets weren't to be used. Last renters stole ALL of his chargers among other things.

Feeling a little left out?

They argued with me that I was supposed to leave the room I was renting.

No slumber party for me I guess...

A true horror story!

Years ago I put my 1 bedroom apartment in San Francisco on Airbnb, and eventually I had a nightmare guest that covered my home with blood.

This guest was a young British businessman living in Dubai. He rented the apartment for a week while I was going to be on vacation in Russia. My dad met him and said that the guest arrived from the airport in a limo and wearing a nice suit. 5 days later I got an email from a detective for the SFPD trying to get in touch with me. I called and he told me this story:

The guest was partying in the Castro and took an unidentified lover back to the apartment one the evening. They were using meth and the guest was also on some meds for a cold... And he had a bad reaction. For some reason the guy took one of my kitchen knives and stabbed himself in the chest, aiming for his heart. He started bleeding profusely and the lover must have run off to get first aid because there were lots of bandage wrappers littered about. Meanwhile, the bleeding man freaked out and went everywhere in the apartment putting bloodly handprints, footprints, and drips on nearly EVERYTHING I owned in EVERY room. Like, on every couch cushion, fabric chair, a dozen towels, the bed, the rugs, the walls, the windows, in drawers, all over the bathroom, in the refrigerator, books, tables... Everywhere. He tried to climb out a window and blood streamed down the front of the buildings walls. He knocked on neighbor doors leaving bloody handprints but was terrified and ran away if he saw anyone answer. A jogger found him naked in a bush at 7am, half a mile away and he was picked up by an ambulance. The guy was in a coma for 3 days and the police eventually figured out that he was an Airbnb renter and tracked me down to see if I was alright since I wasn't answering my phone, as I was out of the country.

Anyways, my dad sent me a couple pictures that I passed on to AirBnB to open a claim. They were super responsive and immediatly sent me $3k to get a hazmat team in there and told me to tell them the cost of anything I had to throw away or replace. The total cost to me was $10k but it was all reimbursed. They made it really easy and, honestly, I'd still be hosting with them if I hadn't been violating my lease and threatened with eviction by my landlord. Fair enough.

A simple detail can change everything

My parents rent out their flat on air bnb. The people who rented from us were supposed to return the keys by putting them in our letter box. They put it in someone else's letterbox. When my parents went to check the flat, everything was stolen. And they probably moved everything stolen to a self storage unit since we checked the flats and couldn't find any of our stuff. And the ex-renters won't tell us what letterbox they put the keys in so I think they had something to do with it (e.g some one bribed them to put it in the wrong letterbox). Still angry about the lack of basic human decency but that's the real world.

Cultural differences

I had foreign guests that each time they dropped a deuce they would clog the toilet.It was, literally, twice the size the can could take. It was a challenge to let it go and it resulted in switching the toilet altogether.

When paranoia starts to creep in

Story where I was the guest in question:

My wife and I booked a single night in an Airbnb that was a 20 minute drive away from a coastal city we were visiting on a road trip. We met and spoke to the owner, and he was a lovely old man, who made it sound like he had made a ton of money before retiring and now was hosting Airbnb because it filled his otherwise lonely days. The house was a gorgeous old building, a former seminary, that was also sometimes rented out as a wedding venue. It had a grand front hall, a huge kitchen, a billiards room, a lounge...a study... are we were staying in the Clue Mansion?

The house was gorgeous, but the grounds were so expansive that you couldn't see the fence or any neighboring properties from the house. The countryside we drove through to get to the house was picturesque to the extreme, but the cell signal was spotty, often times dropping out entirely. It was the perfect location to get away from it all and enjoy some peace and quiet in a beautiful location, or to lure moronic tourists into an elaborate murder mansion. I sent a text to my parents with pictures of the house and a message that said, "Haha, staying in an Agatha Christie Mystery tonight, gonna get murdered lol!" I was only half kidding. At least now, after we disappeared, the cops would have proof we were at the house.

I woke up at 2am convinced that somebody was in the room with me. The doors didn't have locks, so I had piled our suitcases in front of them to prevent unwanted entry, but I couldn't shake that little voice in my head that kept saying, "Did you even check the fireplace for secret passages? Could you make it any easier for him? You're basically begging for a Saw-type situation at this point." About the fourth time I used the light from my phone's screen to check whether anyone was in the room, my wife woke up and convinced me I was being an idiot.

We had to leave early the next morning to make it to our next stop, so we didn't see our host again, but I still feel bad for being the guy that was so convinced that sweet old retiree was going to kill me in my sleep.

All the secrets are being spilled!

They found my hidden cameras and covered them... talk about a boring weekend

Who needs a proper set when you have Airbnb

He shot his tv show in my apartment, forced me to participate in it, and on top of that broke my toilet by flushing golf balls down it.

Have you ever found yourself in an argument so stupid and/or pointless that you were sure you were being punked? Like you keep looking away from the other person to check your surroundings for places Ashton Kutcher and a camera crew could come popping out of?

You're not the only one.

u/Anti-hollowkid asked: What is the dumbest argument you've ever been in?

Brace yourselves, folks. Some of these arguments are breathtakingly bonkers. The sheer number of people who are willing to argue with someone over provable facts and what that other person likes or doesn't like is just ... stunning. It's stunning, you guys. Just not in a good way.

I Know What I Like


My wife and I once argued over whether or not I liked mustard on my hot dog. I was for me liking mustard, she was against me liking mustard.

The argument lasted way longer that you could ever imagine it would.

- AardvarkAndy

A Stair Step

My brother and I argued if our staircase had 13 or 14 steps, based on an argument about if the floor of the second floor counts as a stair-step or not. We still have no solution.

- RazerWolf04

My dad is a stairbuilder and I spent many summers working at his warehouse, so I can clear this up. 14.

- Apples9308


My husband and I have this thing where we only say "I love you" on Saturdays. Every other day it's "I love you, but only on Saturdays." I don't know how it started, but it's been going for 11 years now.

We're both shiftworkers, so sometimes we have to stop and think what day it actually is. We had an argument recently over whether it was Saturday or not. I said it was Saturday, he said it was Friday. It was Monday.

- FormalMango


I remember when I was about 13 my parents had an hour-long shouting match that ended with them almost getting divorced. The issue? Whether or not the nation of Iraq has a coastline.

My mother arguing that Iraq had a coastline, while my stepdad argued that it did not. This was back in 2004, and they are still quite happily married to this day. That incident is something they look back on and laugh about, and both of them admit it was really a pretty stupid thing to argue over.

- dontcryformegiratina


With an ex:

"I owe you $80 for the bills of ours that you pay, and you owe me $40 for the bills of ours that I paid. Here's $40 in cash; we're even."

She did not understand this.

I literally had to go get another $40 out of the ATM, and hand the $80 to her. Then I had her hand me the $40 she owed me.

"Now how much do you have in your hand?"

She still didn't understand.

She somehow has a college degree.

- Speedly

Mini Wheats

When we were kids my brother and I got in a physical fight because he said I like mini wheats and I insisted I didn't. His argument was that I always sang the mini wheats song and I was deeply offended that he wasn't aware that it was just stuck in my head but I hated the cereal. I actually did like the cereal I'm not sure why I was arguing with him about it but I remember how genuinely angry I was.

- shicole3



I'll tell you about the only legal trouble I've ever been in, the fight that got me arrested. It started over whether we should return a box of crayons or not, and to this day I don't have any idea how it escalated to the point of the cops being called, but they were and I was the one taken in.

- CorrectionalChard

That's Unfair

My boyfriend insisted that when two people are in an argument and one makes a point so reasonable and logical the other one can't disagree with it - it's unfair. I tried, logically and reasonably, to explain several times why that is just winning the argument, proving your point thoroughly and is completely fair.

His answer was that I was being unfair.

- ShyAcorn

Pure Masochism

How the ch in masochism is pronounced. My friend caught me saying "masoKism" while he would say "masoSYism."

To be fair, he grew up speaking French, in which the ch in masochism is pronounced in "his" way. But he insisted that I was the wrong one here and that was just infuriating.

- argofire

Emailing NASA

A woman was adamant that looking at the big solar eclipse on the television was unsafe unless you were wearing glasses. She wouldn't believe us and insisted on emailing NASA to check.

- derawin07

A Non-Standard Ruler? 

I worked for a company that made signs. We had a customer ask for signs that were 7mm wide that were to go on a door. Our sign makers figured the order meant inches because 7mm is pretty small, so made them 7 inches. I got a phone call from the customer who went mad at me for making them the wrong size. So I put a reorder through for 7 mm.

Argued with the sign makers over it but they eventually agreed to do it after I shown them the order in writing. I even had the customer put her complaint in writing, reiterating the size they wanted.

7mm signs went out and a day later I get the customer on the phone literally screaming at me.

Cue the dumb argument - we ended up having an argument over how big a millimetre is, and obviously everyone in the office were laughing, but this customer just wouldn't accept it and said we must be using a non-standard ruler to measure.

Ended up being escalating to the sales department manager who refused to issue a refund. We still don't know what they actually meant.

- Lovelocke

This Unusual Vegan Argument

Was in a pub with a few friends, and some random Dude dropped an ear, and somehow figured I'm vegan. Well, people like him are the reason I usually avoid mentioning it. He came up to me and insisted on starting a discussion about veganism. He claimed that by the end of it, I would be eating meat again.

He listed some stupid arguments, I told him I was not convinced and then tried to keep on drinking beer with my friends. He followed me, and wanted me to "try to convert him to a vegan." I stupidly listed some of my reasons thinking it would make him go away. He told me he still was not convinced, so I was like whatever. Again, I really just wanted to drink beer with my friends.

That dude followed me all night and expected me to try make him vegan. Doesn't matter what I said, and all the reasons that for me are obviously good enough to be vegan. He'd be just like "No, that doesn't convince me, therefore your argument and how you life is stupid."

Didn't matter how often I told him that I honestly don't care; 5 minutes later he would come up to me again "I'm still not vegan, so veganism is stupid, all your arguments were stupid, now give me a good reason to become vegan!" At one point, I was literally yelling at him that I don't give a single flying f about what he eats and why, that it's in no way my responsibility to "turn somebody vegan" and in no way his business what I eat.

Honestly, for that dude, I would have bought a whole ham, just to shove it up his stupid annoying face.

- onlytruebertos

Monty Python

In college my roommate and I argued about a line in Monty Python & the Holy Grail. The scene with the Black Knight where the line "Alright, we'll call it a draw" is uttered. We argued about who said that line, whether it was King Arthur or the Black Knight.

It went on for hours longer than it should have because I was stubborn and refused to admit I was wrong.

- Skrivus

Albert or Arnold


Whether Albert Einstein or Arnold Schwarzenegger would be more useful to have around during a Zombie apocalypse. How on earth would Albert Einstein come in handy!?

- Gerrard1995

Below Sea Level

I live on an island and when you go upland and you look out the sea looks like it's higher than or on the same level as the land. It's just a weird perspective thing because of the horizon. One day some kid says that it's because the island is under sea level.

I'm like wtf bro all of us would be with the fishes. He argues that no that's not true and if I just go upland I'll see. We then spend a good 5 minutes of my time arguing about it until I decided to leave this kid in his stupidity. He even said we shouldn't believe everything adults tell us and sometimes we need to think for ourselves.

This kid was older than me and was going to a good school. Lost my respect for him ever since then.

- -justforclout-


Someone tried to fight with me over how to spell my name.

Now, my name is in a lot of languages with slightly different spellings. I would have accepted any of those spellings, but this one was just... Not even close. It didn't make any logical sense.

An analogous example is if my name was Thomas and someone was insisting it was spelled Tomash. And not just the name Thomas in general, but that me specifically, on my birth certificate, was named Tomash. I know how to spell my own name.

I swear to god, it went on for like an hour.

- TK-DuVeraun

Whales Are Mammals

I was in an online chat room one day, and we were talking about whales. I commented on how whales are mammals and the next thing you know, someone was arguing with me and trying to convince me that a whale was a fish.

- kawaii_psycho451


Stupid microwaves. Having a man child talk down to me about how microwaves work only for him to google it and prove me right. He slept on the sofa that night.

- sun_phobic

Shower Schedule

My friend keeps telling me that the norm is that a person should shower once a week. This has been going on for years. I'm almost convinced he's trolling me.

- LibrarianGovernment

No Balloons For Grandma

My cousin and I argued over a balloon going to Heaven. We were at his big sisters prom send off and he let a balloon go and it went high into the sky.

He then said this balloon will go up past space and go to Heaven and reach grandma (God rest her soul). And I was like no it's not and it's probably not even gonna reach space. Releasing balloons is terrible for the environment and kills/harms so much wildlife.

He got really mad and defensive and started telling me to google it and do my research and I'm like I don't have to google it you idiot. He was mad at me for a good week.

- Dskee02

Spontaneous Dolphin Existence


How dolphins reproduced. It took me a few solid minutes of explaining to her that dolphins have reproductive organs and that they did not just pop into existence. The argument began with her saying she wanted to work with sea creatures.

Personally, I hope she was messing with me cause I lost a little faith in humanity that day.

- thebeststory

Male Chickens

I repeatedly had the argument with a friend over whether roosters were chickens. She was convinced that only the females were chickens (hens). We were 18 at the time.

- bee_zah

Lightning McQueen

Me and my friend were drinking underage, we ended up in an argument of whether lightning McQueen's eyes were blue or green. Somehow throughout the whole thing both of us never thought to straight up google a picture.

- 23071115

But ... Ice Floats

Waiter/Host here.

Woman wanted ice on the bottom of her drink.

Now read that sentence again and try to imagine arguing with that particular brand of stupid.

- FarWoods

Time Zones Exist

Coworker claimed that it was the same time of day and the same season on the whole globe. Had to get 4 coworkers to confirm to him that time zones do in fact exist.

- JustARegularToaster


My brother is colorblind. And he CONSTANTLY tries to correct me on what color things are.

"Hey could you hand me that red _____?"

"that's orange"

"no, it's red"



It is the base of our most common and heated arguments.

- droneb2hive

Andre 2000?


I'm late, but I saw this question and instantly remembered that I was booted from a Facebook group because I called someone out on a lie that was not only bull, but extremely pointless. She was friends with the moderator and they made the case that my argument over such a little lie was more of a problem than the lie itself (though they didn't refer to it as a lie.)

The woman said that she used to babysit for Andre 3000 and that his name was Andre 2000 - but he changed it after the year 2000 had passed. This was so easily disproven it was ridiculous. Their debut album came out in 1994 and he was already going by Andre 3000 at that time.

The argument wasn't a huge long drawn out thing, but the fact that either of us were on Facebook at separate times meant that the responses were over a long period of time so this argument lasted a few days.

It was stupid.

- P1ST0L_Wh1PP3D

Stars Like Our Sun

I was arguing with my grandpa about stars he didn't believe that there are other stars like our sun. Basically he thought there is only the sun, the moon and the earth.


Richard Nixon

I have a degree in history. I mostly focused on nationalism. Wrote a 50 page paper on it and Richard Nixon with around 50 100 sources. Looked at micro film for hours on end. Part of the paper focused on how Nixon being chair of the house committee of Unamerican Activities was used as a powerful weapon to use against political enemies. It also inspired Joe McCarthy. Have had people tell me I was wrong and Nixon was never elected to a position besides the president and Joe McCarthy came before Nixon. I stopped trying to talk history to people.

I also know quite a bit about the history of the Balkans its amazing how many Serbs refuse to believe Tito did anything wrong.

Wrote 100 page paper on nationalism in Israel. Its frustrating to talk about because for some reason a lot of people think Palestinian firing rockets randomly into Israel is ok but if Israel retaliates the people get up in arms over a targeted air strike that kills 3 people.


Balloon to Heaven

My cousin and I argued over a balloon going to Heaven. We were at his big sisters prom send off and he let a balloon go and it went high into the sky. He then said this balloon will go up past space and go to Heaven and reach grandma (God rest her soul). And I was like no it's not and it's probably not even gonna reach space.

And he got really mad and defensive and started telling me to google it and do my research and I'm like I don't have to google it you idiot. He was mad at me for a good week.


Binder Clips

I got into an argument with a co-worker over how we were attaching two pages of a letter together: small binder clips or paper clips.

He felt that paper clips would leave a "dent" in the paper when removed, but binder clips won't. He refused to staple them together. I felt that binder clips would also leave a "dent", so we might as well just use the paper clips.

It ended with him saying: "Do what you want [me], I don't care!" and storming off.



Once got accused of faking being Jewish. Why? I have no clue. We argued over the course of a month, any time I'd bring it up and she heard about it, she'd begin going after me for "faking it".

My mother's side is ethnically Jewish. Grandparents were practicing.




3 friends and I once got into an argument about how to pronounce Nutella. It lasted for about 3-4 months. It was hilarious how serious we took it, it'd get heated but never for real serious.

I think someone even called the company that made it to check, or that may have been for the Cheetos company. We were really bored in high school.


Lingerie Boxes

Late to the party, but there it is.

I'm a manager at a small store. We're only 4 working there, so my team and I grew very close and we joke around a lot. Once during a slow shift, my employee and I had an argument because we were looking at the lingerie boxes, and I thought that two specific boxes had the same woman on it, but she was 100% positive they weren't the same person.

Looking back, I don't know why it was such a big deal to us at the time, but we even called another employee who lives across the street to come and tell us what the heck was up with that. Turns out I was right, and she was pretty salty about it. It was a great night.


Wicked Witch of the West

I almost got into an argument with an old girlfriend over Glinda the good witch from Oz. She insisted that Glinda was manipulating Dorothy to assassinate the Wicked Witch of the West and convince the Wizard to leave to create a political void she could fill.

I conceded the issue when I heard the whole premise because I thought it was too damn stupid to get worked up over.


Keep Your Hands to Yourself

Just the other day I legit got in an argument with my co-workers on why I don't like my butt being grabbed by anyone (I'm a guy). Seriously.

They went on about "I don't mind it. Mike and I do it all the time and we don't care." Yeah, that's nice dude, but I'm not you, and there's something called "Keep your hands to yourself" (which was taught to a good portion of us growing up). Just like how Karen wouldn't like it if I touched her boobs or her grabbing your crotch or frankly ANY area you wouldn't like being grabbed, keep away. In general, you should not be touching me in any areas after I've told you not to several times before.

So unless you're sleeping me or dating me, keep your damn hands off my toosh.



My best friend and I argued over whether or not telekinesis was possible. Her argument was that humans don't yet know what the human brain at 100% usage was capable of, and that telekinesis was inside the possibilities.

I said the brain does use 100%, just at different times.

We didn't speak to each other for four days.



How dolphins reproduced and whether or not ghost existed (back to back with the same person). It took me a few solid minutes of explaining to her that dolphins have reproductive organs and that they did not just pop into existence (the argument began with her saying she wanted to work with sea creatures).

How it shifted to the existence of ghosts is a solid and reasonable question to ask (I don't remember why). I had to then proceed to tell her that ghost hunting TV shows do not constitute as undeniable evidence.

Personally, I hope she was messing with me cause I lost a little faith in humanity that day. This was in high school SO... hopefully she was kidding.


Dogs and Chocolate


I told this stupid woman that chocolate is toxic to dogs. She went on to tell me how a little bit will just make them hyper and then they will calm down. I told her to google it. Her and her bf shut right up. Now they have a kid. Good luck, Jeremy and Andrea. morons.

I should also add that this argument started because Jeremy was giving his tiny dog chocolate and I told him it was toxic.


Is water wet?

My roommate and I have a recurring argument over whether or not water is wet l, and whether or not a person is considered wet underwater.

For the record, it is no to both questions.


Mission Trip

A kid a church telling me about the mission trip I went on. Not only was I not on that trip, but I had never been on any mission trip. We were good friends, so it's not like he would've mistaken someone else for me.

He insisted I was there as if an entire week long trip would just fall out of my memory. He even had stories of things we'd done together. I'm not sure if he thought I was lying, joking, stupid, or crazy, but I was pretty sure he was some combination thereof.


Dragon Tales

One time I got into a shouting match with my mom and little brother in the car. The issue? The names of the two-headed dragon from the PBS kids afternoon show Dragon Tales. I swore it was Zack and Macie.

It was actually Zak and Wheezie. I don't even remember why we were yelling about it.


Green Or Yellow?

When I was about 15 or so my mother and I spent about 20-30 minutes arguing about the color of a shirt. We agreed it was blue/green, but to me it was just a shade more blue, while to her it was just a bit more green.

Turns out, your eyeballs yellow as you age and hers were 24 years yellower than mine, so I think that skewed her color vision.


Stars In Their Multitude


I once got in an argument over whether or not a line from the song "Stars" in Les Mis says "...but mine is the way of the lord" or "mine is the way of the law".

I didn't even really care what he thought but he was so adamant and cocky that it got me heated. By the end of it we were shouting at each other and I had to apologize, which I think is what he wanted the whole time.



My brother is colorblind. And he CONSTANTLY tries to correct me on what color things are.

"Hey could you hand me that red _____?" "that's orange" "no, it's red" "orange" "YOU CANT EVEN KNOW".

It is the base of our most common and heated arguments.


Hot Water

About five years ago, my girlfriend (now wife) once had a very intense argument about whether or not hot water cleaned things better than cold water.

She genuinely believed that water temperature didn't matter. This is someone who has not one, but two masters degrees.

We argued for something like 2 hours, and we seriously almost broke up over the whole thing.


Biology Class

I had an argument with a girl IN THE MIDDLE OF A BIOLOGY CLASS in high school about how humans are not mammals. She thought a human was a human and we are not mammals because "mammals are animals and humans are not animals"

I tried explaining to her the difference between reptiles and mammals and how humans fall under the mammal category to try and educate her... but she just wouldn't listen.

I still have no idea why the BIOLOGY teacher did not get involved...


Solid Or Liquid?

Some classmates and I got into a heated debate as to whether or not the human body could count as a soup, salad, or sandwich. The teacher got mad at us, but hey! All we were doing was watching a movie.

For the record, my logic lays with soup- Liquid contained within a solid, at a hot temperature.