Bosses Share The Times They Shut Down A Customer With 'You're Already Speaking To The Manager'
Anyone who has worked in a customer facing position has had to deal with a customer demanding a manager at least once. Sometimes, they have a valid concern, and it's just something that's out of your hands. Often, though, they're misinformed or just upset and making everyone's lives more difficult.
I'm sure most of us have fantasized about telling off a rude customer or two but, in the interest of keeping our jobs, we keep these thoughts to ourselves. These Redditors, however, were in the position to receive some vindication. Instead of having to call out a manager to tell the customer exactly the same thing they'd just said, they were the manager.
Reddit user forrestJump1 asked:
These responses will warm the heart of many a frustrated customer service employee.
Some responses have been edited for content/clarity/profanity
Friend of mine: She was getting chewed out over something or other, finally the woman loudly demanded to see the manager. So she shrugged and got the manager.
Manager comes out all confused. Angry woman demands my friend get fired. Manager is very confused "But Ma'am, I can't do that... she is the owner"
When I was 21, I was promoted to manager at a store where you create your own stuffed animal. I was standing at the register helping box orders up with one of the cashiers. This cashier has also been my best friend since we were 5. A customer starts getting really mad about something to do with a coupon. The cashier is correct, I verify that she is correct.
The lady asks for the manager after calling us both ridiculous children. Best friend looks at me and asks for manager. I walk 2 feet away and then back and introduce myself as the manager.
I own the building that the company I'm part owner in operates out of. It's in a nice office park with about a dozen other similarly sized stand alone office buildings. We have a dumpster that gets emptied twice a week that sits behind/on the side of our building that has a nice fence around it - the way it sits the parking lot of another building is close to it.
I'm ripping out carpet at my house and each night run by work and dispose some of it (we're not running production that week so there's nothing in the dumpster). On the third and last night before trash comes the next day, I notice a guy smoking by his car at the other office. As I'm getting ready to leave a car comes screeching up the side drive puts his brights on and yells at me to stay where I am.
I pause and it's the same guy and starts yelling at me that he's calling the cops he saw me dumping trash into the dumpster. I asked him what he cares and he said he's on special patrol for this company (the one I'm an owner of and would be in charge of hiring anyone as it is) and I'm in violation and need to remain there. I asked him who he talked to and he said "I don't know his last name but his name is Fred". We have never had a Fred work there.
So he's blocking my exit and I start hearing a siren. This guy says something like "here they come now you're screwed!" so I just sit there another minute. In rolls a county brownie with his lights on he comes strolling up and then says "Hey, what's up?" I said "Hey Andy I'm not sure but this guy here is trespassing on my property". His face at this point gets sheet white.
No I didn't press charges even if you could, but I didn't see him around again. I don't know if he was confused, mentally challenged, he sure seemed to have a short fuse. Officer Andy did take his info though I think more to scare the guy then anything else.
Back when I was in the Air Force there was a base picnic. I was put on the crew to get things set up. This task was finished, and we were just standing around bullsh*tting waiting for people to show up.
A young-looking guy (turns out he was in his 40s, but legitimately looked 25) walks up and starts talking to us. He introduced himself as the new Operations Group commander, and was a Colonel-select. He'd literally arrived on base that very morning, and heard about the picnic.
A couple minutes later, our boss (a Major) shows up and walks over to us. He said, "Hey guys I think the new OG might be here today. Be on your best behavior because I heard he's a real @sshole."
We all stared at him in horror. The OG just smiled, stuck out his hand and said, "Hi. I'm the @sshole, but you can call me Colonel."
I was invited to a birthday party at a remote acquaintance's place. She introduced me to her husband and tried to start a conversation by "you two work in the same field!" So the husband started to talk about his work, while I asked polite questions. Then he started to badmouth about a competitor of the place he worked at. He would claim there was "something shady" about the company, how they would scam customers and can not be trusted.
First I asked, where he got his apparent insider knowledge from. When he couldn't name a source I looked at him and said: "No problem buddy, just take the opportunity to ask anything you'd like to fact check, as you are currently talking to the owner of the company!"
The conversations around us literally stopped, and a very awkward silence followed, which I ended by politely saying goodbye.
I got a parking ticket a few months ago. When I was waiting in line to pay it I started talking to the lady next to me. Apparently she just got fined under a new ordinance for keeping her work van parked in the street for a month. She was ranting and raving about how the city has become “Nazi Germany" because of laws like this. “Those city councilors are b*stards! How dare they!" I quietly listened and nodded.
Well, I'm on the city council and I helped write that ordinance. We have it in place because people like her keep their cars in front of peoples driveways and make it impossible for them to pull out in the morning.
When I went to the cashier and was greeted with "Good Morning, Councilor" her jaw nearly dropped.
I used to be a cell phone tech in a retail store. We weren't employed by the main company, we were contracted through another company, so our manager hierarchy was separate. I was the only tech on one night, which made me the acting tech manager. I am a woman.
A guy came in and was immediately belligerent wanting his phone fixed, came up to the tech counter. The conversation went something like this:
Me: How can I help you?
Him: My phone is broken I need to talk to the technician.
Me: I'm the technician, what's wrong with your phone?
Him: No, I need to talk to the tech out back.
Me: I'm the only technician on tonight.
Him: No, I mean the guy in the back who fixes the phones.
Me: I *am* the "guy" out back who fixes the phones.
Him: Why won't you let me talk to the real technician? You can't fix this.
Me: (opened the window to the back to show him it's empty) I'm the only *technician* here tonight. What's going on with your phone?
Him: You're being very rude right now, I want to talk to your manager!
Me: My manager is not in right now, I'm the acting technical support manager. How can I help you?
Him: I need to speak to someone above you right now!
Me: There's nobody above me available right now, you'll have to wait until tomorrow during daytime hours.
Him: I don't have time for that! I work for a living!
Me: So do I. As a technician.
Him: I'm not leaving until I talk to someone!
Me: I can get the store manager for you.
Him: Yes! Go get HIM! HE will take care of me! How f***ing stupid can you get, that's what I've wanted!
Me: Ok, I will go get the store manager. (I did, she was also a woman)
Him: Who's this? I wanted the store manager.
Manager: I am the store manager, sir.
Him: She won't let me talk to the technician! (Pointing at me)
Manager: She is the technician, sir.
Him: Well she can't fix my phone!
Manager: (to me) Could we not fix his phone?
Me: He wouldn't tell me what's wrong with it, I don't know yet if we can fix it or not.
Manager: (to him) What's wrong with the phone?
Him: (defeated at this point) It's not sending texts, it's defective, I need a new one.
Manager: (to me) Can we fix that?
Me: Yes, it's a known issue with that model. It just needs a software update, should only take about 10-20 minutes.
Him: Yeah, like *software* is going to do that!
Me: Will you let me try it?
Him: Ok, fine, *try* it. But when it doesn't work I want a new phone!
Me: (updated the software, it worked) Ok, it's been updated successfully and I backed up your contacts and photos so they're all still there. I tested the texting and it's working now. Is there anything else I can help you with?
Him: Took you long enough! And you're very rude!
Not me, but one of my best friends really made it at a young age already. He's in the hotel business – was night receptionist during college, became F&B manager, moved to assistant general manager, became general manager of one hotel, of two hotels, and then went on to the board of directors of a hotel chain. Mid sized. He was something like director of sales so had to deal with customer complaints occasionally if it got up high enough.
Since the chain was not that big, next to his job as sales director he was also the general manager of a smaller hotel that served as his office as well. One day he is planning on heading home around 5 pm when he gets notified that the night receptionist is ill and won't make it – and the day receptionist is leaving for a two weeks holiday after his shift ends. Now since night receptionist has certain responsibilities, not anyone can do it, and they don't find a replacement. So my friend, being on the board of directors, sighs and accepts that he will have to do it for one night, they will work something out for the next days. Mind you, he was only 32 or 33 at that time and has quite the baby face.
Of course somewhere during the evening someone shows up for a late check in. Hotel is fully booked due to some conference nearby. The late arrival has no reservation. Tough luck. But no; he is 100% sure that he has a reservation. My friend checks the system and indeed, he does have a reservation, for the next day/night. Booked online about 5 minutes ago. My friend explains that he is more than welcome the next day but that he cannot help him this evening and tries to give him other options nearby.
The dude is not having this and is accusing my friend of being at fault, he has a reservation so he should get a room, it's not his fault the hotel overbooked. As these things go, he asks to speak to the manager. Now my friend can be a real prick when he is done with your sh*t so he pulls the old "I will get the duty manager for you!", walks through a door, turns around, walks in the reception again and shakes the hand of the guest, presenting himself as the duty manager. Of course, dude throws a fit and gets even madder. "I want to speak to the real manager!".
My friend shows him the board that says "General Manager: \[friendsname\]" and asks if he should get the general manger, mister \[friendsname\]. Dude says he better damn well should do that. OF course my friend happily repeats his trick with the door and comes back, pointing at his name tag and explaining that he is the GM of the hotel. Dude storms out shouting that he will write a complaint about this.
Now stuff like this has happened before and most of the time it ends here, but this guy went as far as really writing a complaint and beginning said complaint with demanding that the complaint is sent to higher management immediately and not handled by the GM of the hotel. So of course, the complaint ends up at the desk of the Sales director of the chain. Who, of course, is my friend all the same!
He actually wrote him back a nice reply explaining that the hotel really was fully booked and that the guest by mistake chose the wrong date (of course it was no mistake just a guy hoping that creating a fuzz would land him a room), that the hotel was very sorry and he gave him a 10% discount on his next booking. All this signed by "[friendname], receptionist, duty manager, general manager, director of sales of [hotel chain]".
I was working a a receptionist in a hotel in Sydney. I was sitting in the smoking area on my break. New guy - dressed in the same ill fitting plastic suit uniform as me - comes by and sits down. We start chatting... He tells me that it's his first day on the job and that he is working somewhere in administration. He asked a lot about the hotel, my work place, possible improvements and things like that. My mind must have been somewhere else, because I answered all of his questions without realizing that he was taking notes.
I got into quite a rant to be honest. My rant ended with:"We are getting a new general manager soon. Hope he is not an @sshole and I hope he starts fixing this place."
That's when the guy started smiling and asked me if I thought he was an @sshole. That's when I realized that the new admin guy was actually our new GM.
To be fair: He really was quite nice and we shared many a cigarette during breaks :-)
I used to work at an ice cream shop and on a night when we were short staffed, worked the line scooping ice cream with my team.
I was helping two women who were kinda standoffish and I was doing my best to make conversation and be friendly but it was a little awkward. (I had my customer service smile plastered to my face, and I knew I was a bit much but wanted to try and keep the energy up for my team.)
I got their scoops and sent them down to the register to pay and then was pulled to the back to handle a question from my team.
As soon as I get to the back the person on the register said "there is someone who wants to speak to you."
Knowing we were short staffed I took a deep breath because it was going to be someone complaining about the wait or something like that.
I walk out and it's the two women I just served. Uh oh.
They look at me and say, "YOU'RE the manager?" I put on my biggest customer service smile and say "Yes, I'm so sorry is there something I can help you with?"
"Oh well, this seems silly but we really wanted to commend you for being so bright and cheery. When we were waiting in line we saw you being so friendly with everyone... So uhm. Thanks?"
It was super awkward, so I laughed and thanked them and stood there awkwardly giggling/smiling because I don't know what else to do until they walked away.
I went back in the back and did dishes or something because I couldn't handle talking to people for at least 10 minutes. It was a roller coaster of emotion.
Customer was getting all angry about a coupon. Cashier called me over. Normally, I'd just let it slide and accept the coupon, but then she had the audacity to insult my cashier, claiming she was incompetent. So I denied it, cause f**k this lady. She got all pissy, demanded to talk to the manager.
"Sorry, the manager left for the day, but the supervisor is here."
"Well then, I want to speak to your supervisor," she hissed
"I am the supervisor," I said firmly. "This coupon is not valid."
"Fine!" She huffed and left her stuff at the counter, muttering about never shopping there again.
Cashier was a bit shaken up, but I'm not very good at consoling so I just said, "F**k her, we don't need her."
No, that's a good response. I'd be cheered up at that.
I am the youngest person who works in my main office. I also happen to be the GM and part owner of the company.
Had someone come in, talking to one of the employees who has been here 28 years. This guy has a conniption about a warranty issue, asks for a manager. My guy comes and gets me, I go out there ask "how can I help?"
Guy says he needs a manager.
"Sir, I am the manager"
"Then I need the owner!"
"I am also the owner, what can I do for you?"
"I don't believe you!"
"Okay then. Employee, we are denying that warranty request, I'll let his management know what happened."
When I was 19 I was promoted to manager of the front of the house in this little seafood place I'd been working at since I was about 15. On the BOH (Back of House) manager's days off, I'd be the only manager there. This woman used to come in and order the clam chowder about once a week, eat it all, and then claim it was made differently than the last time and demand that it be comped. For some reason the previous manager always just did it.
But it annoyed me that she was being rewarded for being dishonest since we had the same recipe and followed it exactly since the place had opened. I was just WAITING for her to try it on me and finally, she did. I was the only manager there that day and sure enough one of the waitresses said she needed a comp for a table and there was the cheap@ss. I went over there and she told me "Last time you had all kinds of vegetables in this chowder! I'm not paying for it!"
Bahahahaha! I was like, "Ma'am, we've been making that chowder the same way since the place opened and you know it as well as I do. So you can either pay for it like a decent person, or I can comp it and you are not welcome here ever again." Cue her demanding to see the manager. I nearly burst out in an evil villain style cackle when I informed her that she was looking at the manager. She tried to argue for a couple minutes and then finally gave up, paid, and never came back.
Ooh. I have one of these. Used to be a department supervisor for a library. Basically this meant I was third from the top in the system according to the org chart, and if my manager was gone then I was in charge of the building.
One day a lady is in our department complaining about some bit of policy. Can't remember what, but think an entitled suburban mom getting mad we won't bend policy for her. She finally demands to talk to my supervisor when I won't budge.
I smile. Tell her that's fine. Turn as though I'm going to get someone, but do a full twirl instead and hold out my hand. She looks at me like I'm nuts and I introduce myself as the supervisor and heard she had a problem.
The lady storms off to the front desk. A few minutes later one of the workers there comes back with this lady. Explains that she had a problem and wanted to talk to the person in charge. Which was me that day because my boss was out.
The look on her face when the front desk worker pulled her into the office to talk to the person in charge and I was sitting there grinning was delicious. I explained that we still wouldn't be changing our system policy just for her. Have a nice day.
Only time I've ever been able to do that, but it was fun.
A salesman walks into the reception area where I happened to be. I ask him if I can help him and he barely acknowledges my existence. A few more attempts and he says wants to talk to someone more senior. At that moment one of the staff enters, who is older than me. The salesman immediately tries to flag him down and asks to speak to someone in charge. He points at me and says "Well the owner is standing right there".
Not the manager, but a woman called the store I (20 years old at the time) worked at and I answered the phone:
Me: [store name], ravensray speaking. Her: I need to speak to an adult. Me: hold on let me grab one... hello, ravensray speaking.
She was not amused, but my manager was.
Maybe too late. Here it goes. I worked as a resident director aka the boss of the building for my university. Despite being in my 20's, I looked barely out of high school.
Move in day for all the freshman. The usual stuff happens. Crying parents and students. People trying to move in items that are not allowed. General crazy day nothing unusual yet.
Cue to a mom with the typical can I speak to your manager body language and haircut. She walks up to my staff member and demands another room for her child. The mom yells. Insults my staff. Finally she is screaming for a manager. I walk up and introduce myself and ask for her to tell me what's going on. The mom cannot believe her eyes. Me, this young man was the manager. She insisted on getting the real manager. I pull out my wallet and give her my card with my name and title clearly printed and informed her that I was the real manager. She continued to huff and puff until she ran out of steam.
Hours later I get knock on my door and it is the mom. She apologized for her behavior and explained it was stressful moving their child away from home. Emotions got the best of her and thanked me for treating her with respect despite her not showing the same.
I used to manage a vape shop. We would get unruly customers all the time. Lots of cheap a**holes.
This one guy comes in looking for a new tank. I show him our three most popular tanks. "Too expensive". He then points at a tank on my discount wall. The tank was a first generation and it's about 4 years old. So I was very up front with him. "Yes sir, it is a cheap tank. But I will let you know it's not a very good tank. It's one of the first tanks in the industry and is not great."
He insisted on buying it, so I sold it to him. And I let him know "Alrighty sir, just be aware that we do not allow returns on tanks. So if you don't like it, we can't take it back."
Cue 3 days down the road, he comes back complaining that I sold him a bunk tank. I said "yes sir, I did. But I told you it was a bad tank and you still opted to buy it, against my warnings. I told you we won't take it back."
He threw a massive fit and insisted on speaking to the manager. And this was after insulting me and cussing at me multiple times. I smiled and said "okay" and walked back to the office. Then I came back out and said "I heard you needed a manager?" Oooooh he was pissed. "GIVE ME A DIFFERENT MANAGER". "Sir, I'm the only manager. Please leave my store. You are no longer welcome here."
There was other managers. A district manager and a regional manager. But I had full autonomy in these matters and they'd be pissed if I had bothered them with this.
His final words were "you haven't seen the last of me!" I responded "that's okay, the police station is about 400 yards down the street. If I see you here again, they will be called." And he just angrily stormed out never to be seen again.
Sorry bro. I straight up told you not to buy that tank. You insisted because you're cheap.
I run a support service for people without a lawyer. My clients, for the most part, are incredibly grateful and brave people. They are faced with navigating incredibly difficult legal processes alone - I respect each of them for the difficulties that they have to endure. Our service is limited in that we cannot provide legal advice (that will be important later).
But some people just want the world to bend over backwards for their every whim. I had one client who was demanding that the court provide her with transport on the day of her hearing (over 100 miles). Whilst I knew this was not at all possible, I went out of my way to go and speak to the relevant people to try and make it happen. I informed her that sorry, no, the court can't provide that for you, and I can't make it happen as I don't work for the court. Furthermore, I wasn't able to answer her questions as she was asking me to provide her with legal advice.
She became increasingly aggressive and was accusing me of obstructing justice for her, and for discrimination a) due to her not being British, and b) due to her disability. I remained calm as always, and tried to just make it clear that she was asking me to do things that I literally could not do. It came to a head when I became quite firm and told her that I couldn't do anything for her, and that I was going to have to put the phone down and get on with my other tasks.
She goes silent, and then, in a curt voice, says those magic words, "Can I speak to the manager please?"
The smile on my face spread. "I am the manager".
P.S. Honestly, I wanted to help her. Even though she was being awful to me, many of my difficult clients are incredibly stressed out, and the cuts to legal aid in the UK mean that so many vulnerable people are left to fend for themselves in the legal jungle. But there really comes a point where you can't let yourself be the sponge for other peoples' negativity, and you just have to put your foot down and take no sh*t.
I worked at a local diesel truck shop, where we sold aftermarket parts. I was talking to this one person who had a Dodge pickup truck, but ordered a Ford exhaust. Now, we're usually easy going on returns, if its a couple days over the 30 days, etc. But this one guy is saying that we shipped him the wrong exhaust. I'm looking at his order in the system and he ordered the wrong exhaust.
I tell him there will be a restock fee and he has to pay shipping back to us. I send him a copy of his order and receipt. Still denies he bought the wrong thing. Says "Gimme your manager, I'm sure he can help me." That's when I look at the owner of the company, and they nod at me, I tell the customer on the phone "I am the manager sir." Said it with such confidence too - my first time ever having to use that line. His anger and arrogance just disappeared. Guy returned his exhaust system within 3 days to us, accepting the restock fee.
Last year, I was working as the manager of a coffee kiosk, let's call it Starducks, inside a store in a national grocery chain. It's literally my last day on the job, so I am completely out of energy to care. My direct supervisor loved me, so my references are set and I'm just throwing caution to the wind. You smiled at me? Screw it, have a free drink. Your children are well-behaved? Free pastries, who cares?
And then, Drink Harpy comes in an hour before I clock out. This insufferable pain orders her drink, then has me remake it, and I'm not exaggerating here, four times. Finally, she says "well, it's not quite right, but I'm in a hurry. I want a refund". Y'all, I made that drink perfectly all four times, she's just trying to scam us. I look her dead in the eyes and inform her that we don't give refunds when drinks are made correctly.
She storms out in a huff and about 45 minutes later, I get a phone call.
"I was in your store earlier today and your barista was rude to me."
"Well, Ma'am, we have several baristas working today, can you describe them?"
"Bearded man with a shaved head."
"Ma'am, that would be me, and I'm sorry you thought me not tolerating your scam was rude."
"I want to speak to the manager!"
"I am the manager," and I hung up on her. To this day, I have no idea what she did after that or who she yelled at, but I completely don't care. That thirty-second interaction made the entire job worth it.
A friend of mine will occasionally walk into the back of the store when asked to speak to a manager, then walk right back up to them and ask how he can help.
He should change hats and insist he's a different person.
I've watched my current manager do this at my job twice, always entertaining.
One of my current managers does it, he just had two separate name tags and one says manager the other is just his name.
He should keep the manager one in his pocket and just put it on, in front of the customer, when they ask for a manager.
I'm just imagining him turning around, back to the customer for a few minutes as he switches tags, takes a comb out and smoothes his hair and turns around again and in a deeper voice says "hello I'm the manager on duty"
Got contacted by a recruiter for a job in my own team, that I was the hiring manager for. I told him that the job spec looked quite familiar as I had written it.
I'm short and look young for my age:
'I want to talk to the doctor!'
'I am the doctor.'
My manager was from Jamaica (this is important) and was helping me get my cash register / monitor working again. This lady comes up and waits a good 5 minutes even after we told her we were trying to fix the machine (I wasn't the only cashier open, but the other lady was older and a little slower) she starts getting really upset and he told her to calm down and wait s few more minutes, in his strong accent.
She yells "Okay, I wanna talk to a manager because I can't talk to someone who hardly speaks English" (his English was perfect but he just had an accent).
He then looks at her and says "I am the manager ma'am" in the most monotone voice ever, and she says "Oh my god I'm never coming back here" in the most pissed-off tone ever. Not the best story but was still funny.
This happened to a coworker of mine not long ago. I work on an offshore oil platform, and I had just checked in for my flight to the installation. There was a weather delay, so the heliport handed out meal tickets to everyone and got a shuttle to take us for some breakfast. There were quite a few people in the shuttle, and my coworker was chatting up an unfamiliar face.
Unfamiliar dude: "So, what do you do out there anyways?"
Unfamiliar dude: *laughs* "No, seriously, what do you do out there?"
Coworker: *snickering* "Nothing. And I'm damn good at it, too. What do you do?"
Umfamiliar dude: "I'm the president of [the rig]."
It was a quiet ride to breakfast after that. The coworker supposedly got transferred to another rig not long after.
Not exactly what you asked, but...
When I was a kid (late 1980s) my family took a trip to Washington DC. We were in a crowded elevator (don't remember where), and a Lieutenant forced the doors open as they were shutting. He ordered everyone off the elevator for the 1 star General standing behind him.
Before anyone responded, a voice from the back simply said, quietly but firmly, "No." And then the shortest Officer I've ever seen stepped forward. He ignored the Lieutenant, and calmly told the 1 star General to wait for the next one. Which he did, because that short general had two stars.
Call center support. Late shift - this call is going on 2 hours, and it's after 9pm. Something related to whether or not they were eligible for support on something for which they did not pay. I'm alone in the office, I was supposed to leave at 8, and the person on the phone just wasn't getting it.
Customer: I want to talk to a manager
Me: Ma'am, I am the serving supervisor for the night. All other representatives went home an hour ago as support hours ended at 8pm.
I get an email the next day or so. My call had been recorded and I was given a zero score for "lying" to the customer.
I sent the email to my manager, the sales manager, and the VP (because the customer name-dropped him during the call).
My manager handles the bad scoring on the call, stating I was in fact correct (both in my assertion of the customer's ineligibility for support, as well as my role). I ended up getting like a 95 (they thought I let the call drag on too long).
About a week later I get a typed, hand-signed, snail-mailed apology letter from the customer stating how sorry she was about keeping me so long after my shift.
I used to work at an arena where my mother was the head chef, and I managed the concession. All of the employees knew me as (mother's name)'s kid, and addressed me with the same level of respect despite me not asking for it, simply because they loved her like a mother.
We ended up with a new employee taking some of her shifts, and he walked in one day and immediately tried to tell me around. I turned around and said "no, I think you'll do well manning the fryers, tonight, thanks" and continued what I was doing. He started to yell about how I couldn't tell him what to do, and he'd get me fired, before I said, "I don't think I can fire myself" and he got what I meant.
The slow realization that I was second in command was priceless, and he avoided me like the plague after that. I was never mean to anyone without reason, but I knew from his training shift that he was a colossal jerk and he ended up being fired.
I used to manage a bakery which had just recently expanded from one location to 3. A customer came in and tried to use a coupon for 50% off on some pastries. I denied it because we didn't issue any coupons. She said that she got it at our new location and that since we're the same company, we should honor the coupon.
When I still refused (because we didn't issue any coupons) she asked to speak to the manager. I smiled politely and told her that she'd already been speaking to him. She ranted for a few minutes about how we'd be hearing from her lawyers (over about $10 in pastries) and then stormed out.
When the owner of the chain came by the next day I told her about it and showed her the coupon. She pointed out that the customer had actually spelled the name of the bakery wrong and had printed an expiry date that had already passed, so I could have denied the coupon for any of those reasons as well. But she thought it was funny, so she framed it and, as far as I know, it's still on the wall of the break room.
My dad used to own a chicken slaughterhouse and was always considered a very fun guy to work under. Some time back I was working there, but I didn't have any special rank or anything. I was just one of the guys manning the conveyer belts.
Alright, so one day there's a few new hires, who had been working there for a week or so, who were talking during their breaks and I sat down with them. The conversation shifted to the owner/director and how he was pretty chill for a director.
Now, up until this point, I was just quietly nodding along and agreeing with them. Then one of them mentioned that he heard the owner's son was also working there somewhere. They started theorizing what kind of job this supposed son would have and how he was probably some spoilt rich kid manager with an expensive company car and blablabla. I join in with the banter and figure what the hell, let's see where this goes.
Then my dad walks in to the cafeteria and shouts "HEY, YOU WANT A BURGER OR SOMETHING?" while he's ordering his own lunch. One of the new guys looks a bit dazed and asks how come the owner is offering to get me lunch and I just kinda go "oh uhhhhh he's my dad"
Could've said something way better and I still beat myself up about missing that perfect opportunity.
I managed three gas stations from '13 - '15 for a small corrupt family business in a college town. One was my primary store, and I worked my actual shifts in that store, but I would also go to the other stores for a bit 3 or 4 times a week to check on inventory and speak with the store openers over there. Regardless, I wouldn't be in any of the stores except at specific times between the 05:45 and 14:00, so there were plenty of regular customers that never saw me at all.
One day, I'm working one of the other stores on second shift in a rare instance. This woman comes in, sets a case of beer on the counter and proceed to swipe her card before I even scan her beer. I ask to see her ID and she hands me some of those DUI court papers stating that her license is revoked until X date. I tell her that I have to actually see a state issued photo ID, because she could be 18 for all I know.
This triggers her to start complaining, saying things like "I'm clearly 26, and you can't tell me I look under age." and "The girl that works this shift sells a 12 pack to me every day with these papers." and my favorite " You must be new so I bet you just don't know how things are run around here. I know the manager, why don't you call them and have them tell you how it's done."
After letting her get it out of her system, I calmly tell her that I cannot do that, and that she can go to the highway patrol HQ 5 miles away and get a state issued picture ID. She asks me for the manager's phone number, so she can call them. So I humor her, and show her the store manager's "after hours contact number" on our contact sheet, and she calls it. Of course, my cell phone rings, and I pull it out of my pocket and answer it for dramatic effect. The look on her face was so very worth it.
I used to do security patrols on banks. Had a large BMW bike. Some idiot cut me off one day, nearly caused an accident. I gave him the finger over the screen and let it go.
10 minutes later I'm getting off my bike to go to one of my banks and same idiot, in a suit, comes screaming across the carpark yelling insults with "Do you know who I am!!??"
Me: "nup... yawn"
Him: "I'm so and so, area manager of [Australian supermarket] (ie, he was manager of maybe 30 stores)."
Me: "righto mate" and a whatever, I don't care look on my face, which seemed to irritate him even more.
Him: "I demand to talk to your manager!" I give him my business card which he calls.
I answer with "Yeah mate, whassup?" While staring right at him. Cue ranting and expletives as he storms off.
I was delivering a pallet full of wood pellets (in plastic bags) to a customer. These pallets weigh in at around a (metric!) ton, so they are quite hard to move and we always informed the customer, that we could not pull them up a driveway or over gravel... we always tried our best, but some laws of physics just can't be broken...
So I was at the customers house and lo and behold there is this steep gravel path up to his garage. I refused even trying to pull the pallet up there. The customer wasn't liking that, called me lazy, dumb and everything else in the book. He then demanded to speak to my boss, wrote down my name from my name tag, pulled out his cell and called the office.
The boss was out, so they gave him his mobile number. Customers dials that number and a few seconds later, I pull out my cell and answer his call. While he tried getting his jaw from the floor, I pointed to the my name tag and the same name written in 2m high letters on my truck.
I kindly informed him that my business runs quite well and even better without customers like him, packed my stuff and left. Too bad this was in winter and delivery for wood pellets took on average 2-3 weeks at that time...
I am normally not that malicious and go out of my way to make the customer happy - but you do not threaten anyone of my guys with unemployment! Wether their conduct is up to par, is my decision and my decision alone. Also I reserve the right to judge your conduct - call me or one of my guys an @sshole and I might just turn into one....
My mom owned a pub and i managed it with her, so we would work 8 hours each and i was manager when she wasn't around.
There comes a woman with 2 children to eat and ask for 2 servings of one of our offers (fries, steak and a soda).
She looked shady, so I kept my eye on her all the time, since her food arrived until the moment when all the steaks were gone and almost all the fries, and i see her grab some hairs from her daughter and put them in both the plates, and then hastily call the waitress asking for a refund.
Waitress calls me over, i go there and:
Woman: There were hairs in ALL my food. I'm not paying for this gross crap.
Me: Ma'am, our cook always wears a head cap, and those hairs look VERY similar to the ones on your daughters head.
Woman: HoW DaRE YOU?!?!?! CaLL YOur MAnAGer!! I'm NOT PaYIng FoR ThIS!!
Me: Ma'am, i'm the manager, and i've been watching your shady self since you came over and I saw you put the hairs in there, so either you pay full price and tip the waitress, or i call the cops for trying to scam us.
She payed and never came back.
I had someone picking a fight with me in a meeting and I asked him, "Are you really sure you want to do this?" He said yes, because he thought I needed to be put in my place.
It was a technical matter in which I am considered an expert, so I calmly listened to him and systematically shredded his arguments. He was older than I am, and I thought his head would explode when he realized that I had him completely cornered at every point he tried to make.
I couldn't tell him at the time because it hadn't yet been officially released, but a new organization chart was supposed to be released the next day. The next morning I called a meeting and showed the chart, and the fellow immediately slumped into his chair when he realized he would be reporting to me.
Post Script: He had a chip on his shoulder for several months, and initially he seemed to think that I had it in for him. But I'm not a vindictive person, and I earned his respect when I later on bailed him out of a sticky situation. I told him, "You report to me, but I work for you. It's my job to look out for your interests, and I'm more than happy to watch your back." ;-)
I was the service manager at a Walmart Tire and Lube Express. One of my guys left the oil cap loose. Lady comes in yelling at my counter guy. I talk to her. she demands "Free oil changes for life." I chuckled and asked if she thought that that was reasonable. "We've cleaned your engine bay, and you get one free oil change for our mistake."
I demand to see the manager!
"OK." I leaned over the counter, looked left and right. then looked at the title on my uniform. "Oh wait... it's me. So, one free oil change. Reasonable?"
Managed a shoe store for years - am young woman. My assistant manager was a couple of years younger than me and a guy.
Upon checking out a customer, the customer commented to my assistant manager, "You have a great worker here. She is excellent."
He replied, "I agree, she's a great manager, too!" She got a little embarrassed, but commented that she needed to remember women can be managers. She was a bit older, so different mindset.
So nothing like revenge-y, but still a nice hey I'm the manager moment.
Years ago, I was an assistant manager of Gamestop. We had a real problem customer, who would abuse the return policy, put up a fuss about nearly every transaction. I opened one day, and it was about an hour before the next employee came in, so I was by myself. Obviously that customer came in, and I refused a return on an opened video game.
He asked to speak to the manager, so I said "ok, let me get him". I walked in the back, turned around, came back out, and said "I'm the manager on duty. Can I help you?". He stormed out, and I never saw him again.
I wasnt the manager but my friend kevin was the supervisor on duty on Halloween. This guy came in to return this invoicing software whose packaging said it was compatible with windows 7, which was new at the time, but the email feature didn't work on win7. I told him our policy was that we can't return open software because of serial codes.
He asked for the manager so I called kevin on the intercom to come to the register. Since it was Halloween we were told by the higher ups we were allowed to wear costumes. Kevin was dressed as this punk rock kid with eye shadow and black clothing and a fake lip ring with his hair all spiked up. It was kind of rediculous.
So Kevin comes up to the register and says to the customer "can I help you?" The customer turns around and says "Oh I'm just waiting for the manager." Kevin says "That's me." The customer had this shocked look on his face and says "WTH, there's no way you're the manager dressed like that." It was actually pretty hilarious until the guy started acting like a jerk because we wouldn't return the software.
I was given a "manager" position for a temporary discount video/cd shop for a shady distribution company about 10 years ago.
One day a lady came in asking for a copy of Mama Mia. I told her we had not yet received it but it was due to release in the next week. She asked if she could buy a copy of hair spray and then exchange it towards mama mia when it is released. I said it seems strange but if she purchases a copy I can refund it later and put the value towards a different title. We did the transaction and she went on her way.
Mama Mia was released and sold out within the first day. Out lady returns 3 days after release, 15 minutes before the store opens (7:45 am) and starts banging on the door and yelling into the store. I'm a nice guy and it's the holiday season so I go see what the commotion is about.
Out christmas heroine barges past me and stated that she is in a hurry and has come for "her copy" of Mama Mia.
I tell her Mama Mia has been sold out for 3 days.
She loses it.
"YOU PROMISED ME A COPY! I PURCHASED HAIRSPRAY TO RESERVE A COPY. MY SON NEEDS MAMA MIA!"
I'm sorry Ma'am but buying one video doesn't guarantee you a copy of a different one.
"I DEMAND TO KNOW WHO SOLD MY COPY I WANT THEIR NAME AND PHONE NUMBER"
"THIS IS BULL, YOU BETTER GET ME THE MANAGER"
"I am the manager"
"WELL I WANT A REFUND!"
Done, gave her $5 back.
"Sorry for the inconvenience ma'am but we never promised to reserve you a copy of the seasons hottest movie. That simply isny possible."
"TELL THAT THE THE KID WHO JUST HAD HIS CHRISTMAS RUINED!"
Worked as a relief manager for about 50 betting shops across 3 districts. Basically, if a manager was on annual leave, or sick, I would go cover their shops. Normally the was a senior cashier who could do the job, but the district managers liked having a manager there as well.
One day I get sent to a shop I've never been to, nor have I ever had any interaction with. The senior cashier was told they would be sending over relief to staff as she was down 3 staff for the day. So I go in as cover, along with somebody I'd worked with before, and is an excellent cashier.
I get there a bit late, as I'd been in a different shop, and had to collect the other cashier. As we walk in, the senior cashier starts saying to me that I'm late, and how dare I not be there on time. I should point out that the two cashiers are female and I'm male, and considerably younger than both. I let it pass, and go about the usual take that need to be done in a new shop.
About an hour later, I get a message from our security control saying that the shop has 3 times the allowable cash on site. Message only shows up for me and nobody else, as I'm the manager. I ask where the safe is, and the codes. Senior cashier goes ballistic, demanding to know where I got off asking about the safe and cash. Let it be for a minute, and replied to security control asking them ring into the shop asking about the cash. (Basically, I didn't want to rock the boat just yet).
Anyways, can gets sorted, eventually, but I'm a bit suspicious of what's going on. With manager access to the system, I can see how much money is on the shop, what payouts are due, and amount of money at risk from future possible payouts. Altogether, it doesn't look too bad, with only about €10k in current payouts, and about half of that in possible payouts. About reasonable for a shop of its size. I also check the bets to see what they are on.
Senior cashier goes out to lunch, and a guy comes in with what he claims is a winning bet. Tell him that it's a loser. Sorry. Complains that it is a winner, and that the senior cashier told him it won. Guy leaves, and thought that was the end of it. I go out to lunch, and when I come back, I have about 10 warning messages on my system about winnings and large payouts.
Check the payouts, and all payouts are wrong. Not just wrong, but seriously wrong. Losing bets settled as €2k winners, that type of thing. One bet was the one I'd denied earlier. So I excuses myself and rang security control to let them know. All for permission to revoke most of her permissions, and only allow for taking bets. Basically, set her permissions to a day 1 trainee.
Went in, and reset permissions. Next suspicious bet comes in, and she tries to pay it out. She can't, and starter to get flustered. Asks the other cashier to pay it out. As per policy, she asks me to do it, as I'm the senior person. I check the bet, and it's wrong. €50 win @ 50/1, where the horse fell at the first fence 😂. I tell her it's wrong, and cancel the payout. She goes ballistic, tells me I can't do that, and she is the manager.
Explain that I'm the current shops manager, and that I had suspended her access. Further, until further notice, I was taking off working the tills or processing the bets. She was to sit at the staff table, and wait until the end of the day to clock out. I also explained that I had reported the issue to security, and was taking over the shop for the next week.
Security came out to review the shop's logs, and all bets. Turned out that she'd been changing bets for about 6 months, and was taking a cut off the "winnings". I ended up running that shop for about 3 months, with the other cashier, and two new staff, as everybody previously working there was suspended. She, and the manager, were eventually fired, and she agreed to pay back the money in return for not being prosecuted.
I worked as a front end manager at walmart when I was in college, when I was 20-21. I supervised all the registers and customer service desk. It happened a lot that people wouldn't accept me as true management because I looked so young. There was one time a lady asked me for a "real manager" because I wouldn't return something for her, and my store manager happened to be with me.
Fortunately he had my back and said I was a real manager, and that he would defer to me anyway because I knew the front end better than he did. She piped down and left. Not too crazy, but a really nice feeling getting support from your upper management instead of them just taking over.
Worked at home depot, 9-10 years ago, in the hardware department. I was stocking the boxes of nails, and the department head also came over to help, as we had a lot to fill. We're both women by the way. We have the older man come over 60's plus come over, starts asking us if we have a certain size nail, we look through the boxes to look, we do not, and tell him.
This guy gets so upset he slams the box he had in his hand to the floor and demands a manager saying " you ladies just don't know what i'm talking about." My DH then takes 2 or 3 steps away, turns, and walks back, puts her hand out and says "hi sir, i'm the manager of this department" The guy got so upset and red, he just walked away.
I was 19 or so and a manager at McDonalds. A guy came in freaking out because he asked for a BigMac with no pickles and his had pickles. So I walked over and let him rant about his deathly pickle allergy.
I apologized to him, said we could would make him a new one however there are pickles in the BigMac sauce so if he is that allergic he should order something else.
"I want to talk to a manager"
"I am the manger sir, hence the gold name tag"
"But you're just a kid!"
"As an adult do you want to be a manager at a fast food chain?"
He then yells as he storms out "This is ridiculous! You will be hearing from my lawyer!"
I was the General Manager of a Domino's pizza and every once in a while I'd still make some deliveries.
Once I pulled up to a guy's house and he told me I was late (we didn't have a 30min or less policy at any more by then and it wasn't past that anyway) and that he'd called and the manager said it was free.
I said "Oh, is that right?" and looked down at my gold-plated name tag that said "General Manger" on it.
He just paid and said nothing more.
Worked at an electronics store that had an absolutely-no-return policy for some reason. Dude comes in one day with a printer he'd just bought, saying he'd found it cheaper at Walmart and wanted to return it so he could buy the cheaper version. Coworker explains the policy, points at the sign right by the cash register, and tells him he can't.
Dude fights back with "well what if it's broken?" Coworker calmly goes "is it?" Dude says no. Continues to argue about why he should be allowed to return it, because "Best Buy would let me!" Coworker explains that we aren't Best Buy. Guy continues to argue, getting angrier and angrier.
Coworker interrupts his tirade to go "Sir, would you like to speak to the manager?" Dude crosses his arms over his chest, looks hella smug, and says he would.
"Well, I'm him."
Okay so this is a little late, but I will remember this day fondly. Mobile formatting, bad at spelling, etc.
So I work at a movie theater, and ya know, we're all cheap asses with our concessions. Nothing we can help, it's all corporate. Anyway, we have this policy where one can only get free refills if the drink or popcorn is large. Usually, if a customer orders a medium, I'll always try to upsell to a large because ultimately they're getting more for their buck. This one customer comes in, we'll call him greasy salesman (GS) because that's honestly what he reminded me of.
I try to to sell him the large drink, because it really only is 25 cents more. He declines and gets his medium. About an hour later GS comes back and I'm the only one behind the counter. He asks if he can get a refill. I grin because I know exactly how this will go down.
GS: Hey can I get a refill of coke? Me: Sorry sir, but there are only refills on larges. GS: Reallyyyyy?? Come on! Just a refill Me: I'm sorry sir, but no. I can fill it with water. DS: Are you kidding me? Not even a little refill?
At this point, I'm just done with this guy and to be honest, if he had been nicer, I might've done it. He then proceeds to say, "Well I wanna talk to the manager then if you won't give me a refill." I smile and go, "I am the manager, what can I help you with?" He goes, "Ugh are you kidding me!" No sir, no I'm not.
I worked as a news producer for a university radio station a few years ago. One day the head of the news team brings in a new reader for training. This guy immediately starts talking about how great he is at everything and brags endlessly about how he is a TA and generally superior to other people. It's annoying but whatever. Then he starts complaining about the stories that were submitted by the news writers, including one written by the head of the team, ie the woman sitting right next to him.
He takes it upon himself to edit every story he has to read, only he takes forever and barely gets any work done because he won't shut up about how great he is/how bad the writing is. Eventually we get him behind the Mic and ready to read. He stumbles and makes mistakes and has to redo things and was terrible, which I normally don't mind because it is actually fairly difficult to read the news and takes some practice to really be good at it.
The thing that bothered me was how after a few tries of getting things wrong when I would ask him to try it differently, he would say "it's fine, we can just fix it in production." I was doing production, so he was basically giving me more work because he couldn't get it right. This was after we were in hour 4 of a normally 1-2 hour process. I missed my class because of this guy.
Anyways, when we finally finished, I told him that recording next started at 9 am sharp, with or without him. The following week, I sent him an email the night before reminding him that recording starts at 9 am so he should be there with the stories ready to go at that time. 9am rolls around and he is unsurprisingly not there, so I set up the Mic for myself and start reading the stories. By 9:12 I am half way through reading the last story, and that's when this guy comes in. I told him that he was late and that I'm almost done recording, so we could try again next week if he was on time. He got angry saying that he didn't know when the start time was and that he never got the email etc before storming out. He never came back.
Epilogue: he sent a very long, righteously indignant email to the news team email address, which obviously I have access to, complaining about his unfair treatment at the station, repeatedly referring to me as "that woman." Not only did he not know my name, he didn't seem to realize that as his producer, I was in fact his boss.
10 years ago I was a retail manager for Bath and Body Works. One day during holiday a customer began going off on one of my seasonal employees. Like psychotically screaming at her because we were out of Peppermint Twist body lotion. I walked up and asked the girl to go cover registers and that I would talk to the customer. Customer began yelling at me. After another 5 minutes of insisting it was in the back.
Her "I WANT TO SPEAK TO YOUR MANAGER!!"
Me "Miss, I am the manager on duty. This is a popular item. We have none in the back. None of our other stores in the area have anymore. You are welcome to look online but I doubt it is there anymore either. Have a lovely day."
She turned purple and asked for our customer service number to complain.
It was December 24...
Have you ever found yourself in an argument so stupid and/or pointless that you were sure you were being punked? Like you keep looking away from the other person to check your surroundings for places Ashton Kutcher and a camera crew could come popping out of?
You're not the only one.
u/Anti-hollowkid asked: What is the dumbest argument you've ever been in?Brace yourselves, folks. Some of these arguments are breathtakingly bonkers. The sheer number of people who are willing to argue with someone over provable facts and what that other person likes or doesn't like is just ... stunning. It's stunning, you guys. Just not in a good way.
I Know What I LikeGiphy
My wife and I once argued over whether or not I liked mustard on my hot dog. I was for me liking mustard, she was against me liking mustard.
The argument lasted way longer that you could ever imagine it would.
A Stair Step
My brother and I argued if our staircase had 13 or 14 steps, based on an argument about if the floor of the second floor counts as a stair-step or not. We still have no solution.
My dad is a stairbuilder and I spent many summers working at his warehouse, so I can clear this up. 14.
My husband and I have this thing where we only say "I love you" on Saturdays. Every other day it's "I love you, but only on Saturdays." I don't know how it started, but it's been going for 11 years now.
We're both shiftworkers, so sometimes we have to stop and think what day it actually is. We had an argument recently over whether it was Saturday or not. I said it was Saturday, he said it was Friday. It was Monday.
I remember when I was about 13 my parents had an hour-long shouting match that ended with them almost getting divorced. The issue? Whether or not the nation of Iraq has a coastline.
My mother arguing that Iraq had a coastline, while my stepdad argued that it did not. This was back in 2004, and they are still quite happily married to this day. That incident is something they look back on and laugh about, and both of them admit it was really a pretty stupid thing to argue over.
With an ex:
"I owe you $80 for the bills of ours that you pay, and you owe me $40 for the bills of ours that I paid. Here's $40 in cash; we're even."
She did not understand this.
I literally had to go get another $40 out of the ATM, and hand the $80 to her. Then I had her hand me the $40 she owed me.
"Now how much do you have in your hand?"
She still didn't understand.
She somehow has a college degree.
When we were kids my brother and I got in a physical fight because he said I like mini wheats and I insisted I didn't. His argument was that I always sang the mini wheats song and I was deeply offended that he wasn't aware that it was just stuck in my head but I hated the cereal. I actually did like the cereal I'm not sure why I was arguing with him about it but I remember how genuinely angry I was.
I'll tell you about the only legal trouble I've ever been in, the fight that got me arrested. It started over whether we should return a box of crayons or not, and to this day I don't have any idea how it escalated to the point of the cops being called, but they were and I was the one taken in.
My boyfriend insisted that when two people are in an argument and one makes a point so reasonable and logical the other one can't disagree with it - it's unfair. I tried, logically and reasonably, to explain several times why that is just winning the argument, proving your point thoroughly and is completely fair.
His answer was that I was being unfair.
How the ch in masochism is pronounced. My friend caught me saying "masoKism" while he would say "masoSYism."
To be fair, he grew up speaking French, in which the ch in masochism is pronounced in "his" way. But he insisted that I was the wrong one here and that was just infuriating.
A woman was adamant that looking at the big solar eclipse on the television was unsafe unless you were wearing glasses. She wouldn't believe us and insisted on emailing NASA to check.
A Non-Standard Ruler?
I worked for a company that made signs. We had a customer ask for signs that were 7mm wide that were to go on a door. Our sign makers figured the order meant inches because 7mm is pretty small, so made them 7 inches. I got a phone call from the customer who went mad at me for making them the wrong size. So I put a reorder through for 7 mm.
Argued with the sign makers over it but they eventually agreed to do it after I shown them the order in writing. I even had the customer put her complaint in writing, reiterating the size they wanted.
7mm signs went out and a day later I get the customer on the phone literally screaming at me.
Cue the dumb argument - we ended up having an argument over how big a millimetre is, and obviously everyone in the office were laughing, but this customer just wouldn't accept it and said we must be using a non-standard ruler to measure.
Ended up being escalating to the sales department manager who refused to issue a refund. We still don't know what they actually meant.
This Unusual Vegan Argument
Was in a pub with a few friends, and some random Dude dropped an ear, and somehow figured I'm vegan. Well, people like him are the reason I usually avoid mentioning it. He came up to me and insisted on starting a discussion about veganism. He claimed that by the end of it, I would be eating meat again.
He listed some stupid arguments, I told him I was not convinced and then tried to keep on drinking beer with my friends. He followed me, and wanted me to "try to convert him to a vegan." I stupidly listed some of my reasons thinking it would make him go away. He told me he still was not convinced, so I was like whatever. Again, I really just wanted to drink beer with my friends.
That dude followed me all night and expected me to try make him vegan. Doesn't matter what I said, and all the reasons that for me are obviously good enough to be vegan. He'd be just like "No, that doesn't convince me, therefore your argument and how you life is stupid."
Didn't matter how often I told him that I honestly don't care; 5 minutes later he would come up to me again "I'm still not vegan, so veganism is stupid, all your arguments were stupid, now give me a good reason to become vegan!" At one point, I was literally yelling at him that I don't give a single flying f about what he eats and why, that it's in no way my responsibility to "turn somebody vegan" and in no way his business what I eat.
Honestly, for that dude, I would have bought a whole ham, just to shove it up his stupid annoying face.
In college my roommate and I argued about a line in Monty Python & the Holy Grail. The scene with the Black Knight where the line "Alright, we'll call it a draw" is uttered. We argued about who said that line, whether it was King Arthur or the Black Knight.
It went on for hours longer than it should have because I was stubborn and refused to admit I was wrong.
Albert or ArnoldGiphy
Whether Albert Einstein or Arnold Schwarzenegger would be more useful to have around during a Zombie apocalypse. How on earth would Albert Einstein come in handy!?
Below Sea Level
I live on an island and when you go upland and you look out the sea looks like it's higher than or on the same level as the land. It's just a weird perspective thing because of the horizon. One day some kid says that it's because the island is under sea level.
I'm like wtf bro all of us would be with the fishes. He argues that no that's not true and if I just go upland I'll see. We then spend a good 5 minutes of my time arguing about it until I decided to leave this kid in his stupidity. He even said we shouldn't believe everything adults tell us and sometimes we need to think for ourselves.
This kid was older than me and was going to a good school. Lost my respect for him ever since then.
Someone tried to fight with me over how to spell my name.
Now, my name is in a lot of languages with slightly different spellings. I would have accepted any of those spellings, but this one was just... Not even close. It didn't make any logical sense.
An analogous example is if my name was Thomas and someone was insisting it was spelled Tomash. And not just the name Thomas in general, but that me specifically, on my birth certificate, was named Tomash. I know how to spell my own name.
I swear to god, it went on for like an hour.
Whales Are Mammals
I was in an online chat room one day, and we were talking about whales. I commented on how whales are mammals and the next thing you know, someone was arguing with me and trying to convince me that a whale was a fish.
Stupid microwaves. Having a man child talk down to me about how microwaves work only for him to google it and prove me right. He slept on the sofa that night.
My friend keeps telling me that the norm is that a person should shower once a week. This has been going on for years. I'm almost convinced he's trolling me.
No Balloons For Grandma
My cousin and I argued over a balloon going to Heaven. We were at his big sisters prom send off and he let a balloon go and it went high into the sky.
He then said this balloon will go up past space and go to Heaven and reach grandma (God rest her soul). And I was like no it's not and it's probably not even gonna reach space. Releasing balloons is terrible for the environment and kills/harms so much wildlife.
He got really mad and defensive and started telling me to google it and do my research and I'm like I don't have to google it you idiot. He was mad at me for a good week.
Spontaneous Dolphin ExistenceGiphy
How dolphins reproduced. It took me a few solid minutes of explaining to her that dolphins have reproductive organs and that they did not just pop into existence. The argument began with her saying she wanted to work with sea creatures.
Personally, I hope she was messing with me cause I lost a little faith in humanity that day.
I repeatedly had the argument with a friend over whether roosters were chickens. She was convinced that only the females were chickens (hens). We were 18 at the time.
Me and my friend were drinking underage, we ended up in an argument of whether lightning McQueen's eyes were blue or green. Somehow throughout the whole thing both of us never thought to straight up google a picture.
But ... Ice Floats
Woman wanted ice on the bottom of her drink.
Now read that sentence again and try to imagine arguing with that particular brand of stupid.
Time Zones Exist
Coworker claimed that it was the same time of day and the same season on the whole globe. Had to get 4 coworkers to confirm to him that time zones do in fact exist.
My brother is colorblind. And he CONSTANTLY tries to correct me on what color things are.
"Hey could you hand me that red _____?"
"no, it's red"
"YOU CANT EVEN KNOW"
It is the base of our most common and heated arguments.
I'm late, but I saw this question and instantly remembered that I was booted from a Facebook group because I called someone out on a lie that was not only bull, but extremely pointless. She was friends with the moderator and they made the case that my argument over such a little lie was more of a problem than the lie itself (though they didn't refer to it as a lie.)
The woman said that she used to babysit for Andre 3000 and that his name was Andre 2000 - but he changed it after the year 2000 had passed. This was so easily disproven it was ridiculous. Their debut album came out in 1994 and he was already going by Andre 3000 at that time.
The argument wasn't a huge long drawn out thing, but the fact that either of us were on Facebook at separate times meant that the responses were over a long period of time so this argument lasted a few days.
It was stupid.
Stars Like Our Sun
I was arguing with my grandpa about stars he didn't believe that there are other stars like our sun. Basically he thought there is only the sun, the moon and the earth.
I have a degree in history. I mostly focused on nationalism. Wrote a 50 page paper on it and Richard Nixon with around 50 100 sources. Looked at micro film for hours on end. Part of the paper focused on how Nixon being chair of the house committee of Unamerican Activities was used as a powerful weapon to use against political enemies. It also inspired Joe McCarthy. Have had people tell me I was wrong and Nixon was never elected to a position besides the president and Joe McCarthy came before Nixon. I stopped trying to talk history to people.
I also know quite a bit about the history of the Balkans its amazing how many Serbs refuse to believe Tito did anything wrong.
Wrote 100 page paper on nationalism in Israel. Its frustrating to talk about because for some reason a lot of people think Palestinian firing rockets randomly into Israel is ok but if Israel retaliates the people get up in arms over a targeted air strike that kills 3 people.
Balloon to Heaven
My cousin and I argued over a balloon going to Heaven. We were at his big sisters prom send off and he let a balloon go and it went high into the sky. He then said this balloon will go up past space and go to Heaven and reach grandma (God rest her soul). And I was like no it's not and it's probably not even gonna reach space.
And he got really mad and defensive and started telling me to google it and do my research and I'm like I don't have to google it you idiot. He was mad at me for a good week.
I got into an argument with a co-worker over how we were attaching two pages of a letter together: small binder clips or paper clips.
He felt that paper clips would leave a "dent" in the paper when removed, but binder clips won't. He refused to staple them together. I felt that binder clips would also leave a "dent", so we might as well just use the paper clips.
It ended with him saying: "Do what you want [me], I don't care!" and storming off.
Once got accused of faking being Jewish. Why? I have no clue. We argued over the course of a month, any time I'd bring it up and she heard about it, she'd begin going after me for "faking it".
My mother's side is ethnically Jewish. Grandparents were practicing.
3 friends and I once got into an argument about how to pronounce Nutella. It lasted for about 3-4 months. It was hilarious how serious we took it, it'd get heated but never for real serious.
I think someone even called the company that made it to check, or that may have been for the Cheetos company. We were really bored in high school.
Late to the party, but there it is.
I'm a manager at a small store. We're only 4 working there, so my team and I grew very close and we joke around a lot. Once during a slow shift, my employee and I had an argument because we were looking at the lingerie boxes, and I thought that two specific boxes had the same woman on it, but she was 100% positive they weren't the same person.
Looking back, I don't know why it was such a big deal to us at the time, but we even called another employee who lives across the street to come and tell us what the heck was up with that. Turns out I was right, and she was pretty salty about it. It was a great night.
Wicked Witch of the West
I almost got into an argument with an old girlfriend over Glinda the good witch from Oz. She insisted that Glinda was manipulating Dorothy to assassinate the Wicked Witch of the West and convince the Wizard to leave to create a political void she could fill.
I conceded the issue when I heard the whole premise because I thought it was too damn stupid to get worked up over.
Keep Your Hands to Yourself
Just the other day I legit got in an argument with my co-workers on why I don't like my butt being grabbed by anyone (I'm a guy). Seriously.
They went on about "I don't mind it. Mike and I do it all the time and we don't care." Yeah, that's nice dude, but I'm not you, and there's something called "Keep your hands to yourself" (which was taught to a good portion of us growing up). Just like how Karen wouldn't like it if I touched her boobs or her grabbing your crotch or frankly ANY area you wouldn't like being grabbed, keep away. In general, you should not be touching me in any areas after I've told you not to several times before.
So unless you're sleeping me or dating me, keep your damn hands off my toosh.
My best friend and I argued over whether or not telekinesis was possible. Her argument was that humans don't yet know what the human brain at 100% usage was capable of, and that telekinesis was inside the possibilities.
I said the brain does use 100%, just at different times.
We didn't speak to each other for four days.
How dolphins reproduced and whether or not ghost existed (back to back with the same person). It took me a few solid minutes of explaining to her that dolphins have reproductive organs and that they did not just pop into existence (the argument began with her saying she wanted to work with sea creatures).
How it shifted to the existence of ghosts is a solid and reasonable question to ask (I don't remember why). I had to then proceed to tell her that ghost hunting TV shows do not constitute as undeniable evidence.
Personally, I hope she was messing with me cause I lost a little faith in humanity that day. This was in high school SO... hopefully she was kidding.
Dogs and ChocolateGiphy
I told this stupid woman that chocolate is toxic to dogs. She went on to tell me how a little bit will just make them hyper and then they will calm down. I told her to google it. Her and her bf shut right up. Now they have a kid. Good luck, Jeremy and Andrea. morons.
I should also add that this argument started because Jeremy was giving his tiny dog chocolate and I told him it was toxic.
Is water wet?
My roommate and I have a recurring argument over whether or not water is wet l, and whether or not a person is considered wet underwater.
For the record, it is no to both questions.
A kid a church telling me about the mission trip I went on. Not only was I not on that trip, but I had never been on any mission trip. We were good friends, so it's not like he would've mistaken someone else for me.
He insisted I was there as if an entire week long trip would just fall out of my memory. He even had stories of things we'd done together. I'm not sure if he thought I was lying, joking, stupid, or crazy, but I was pretty sure he was some combination thereof.
One time I got into a shouting match with my mom and little brother in the car. The issue? The names of the two-headed dragon from the PBS kids afternoon show Dragon Tales. I swore it was Zack and Macie.
It was actually Zak and Wheezie. I don't even remember why we were yelling about it.
Green Or Yellow?
When I was about 15 or so my mother and I spent about 20-30 minutes arguing about the color of a shirt. We agreed it was blue/green, but to me it was just a shade more blue, while to her it was just a bit more green.
Turns out, your eyeballs yellow as you age and hers were 24 years yellower than mine, so I think that skewed her color vision.
Stars In Their MultitudeGiphy
I once got in an argument over whether or not a line from the song "Stars" in Les Mis says "...but mine is the way of the lord" or "mine is the way of the law".
I didn't even really care what he thought but he was so adamant and cocky that it got me heated. By the end of it we were shouting at each other and I had to apologize, which I think is what he wanted the whole time.
My brother is colorblind. And he CONSTANTLY tries to correct me on what color things are.
"Hey could you hand me that red _____?" "that's orange" "no, it's red" "orange" "YOU CANT EVEN KNOW".
It is the base of our most common and heated arguments.
About five years ago, my girlfriend (now wife) once had a very intense argument about whether or not hot water cleaned things better than cold water.
She genuinely believed that water temperature didn't matter. This is someone who has not one, but two masters degrees.
We argued for something like 2 hours, and we seriously almost broke up over the whole thing.
I had an argument with a girl IN THE MIDDLE OF A BIOLOGY CLASS in high school about how humans are not mammals. She thought a human was a human and we are not mammals because "mammals are animals and humans are not animals"
I tried explaining to her the difference between reptiles and mammals and how humans fall under the mammal category to try and educate her... but she just wouldn't listen.
I still have no idea why the BIOLOGY teacher did not get involved...
Solid Or Liquid?
Some classmates and I got into a heated debate as to whether or not the human body could count as a soup, salad, or sandwich. The teacher got mad at us, but hey! All we were doing was watching a movie.
For the record, my logic lays with soup- Liquid contained within a solid, at a hot temperature.